Raju (MANAGER) 19 January 2015

Wasting my married life

Dear Well wishers,

Thank you for all the members who spared some time to go through and for your valuable suggestions,

I got married on 25-03-2012 and I was doing a private job at that time. Me and my wife lived happily for 6 months and after that she got pregnant and had a baby. As the days go on, i left my job as my location is inconvenient and started a business which run successively. When my wife returned to my home with her baby, I noticed several behavioural changes in her as she is very irresponsible to marital resposibilities as a indian wife like waking late morning, telling some stories on my parents, not cooking anything and asking me to bring from hotel, often telling some reason to go to their home etc.I warned her several time to behave like a married woman but she continued the same.

one fine afternoon, I came home for my lunch and found that nothing was cooked and in that temper,I slapped her which resulted blood from her nose. Immediately she called her parents and they came to my home and taken her to their home by abusing me.

I took it light as it was a common theory in every home. But after two week time, two police man came to my home and taken me to the police station and said that a 498(a) case was filed and submitted me to the court and later however release on a bail.

I was shocked with the incident happened and never expected as I gave much freedom to my wife and their parents. in this case I felt ashamed of myself and never called her till now. Atleast they dont called me. Even though, I love my baby and eager to see her, I cant do it as i want to step in their home. but during this, I suggested one of their relative to inform them to withdraw my case and then can sit for a settlement.

but til now, they didnt take any such steps and even informed one of my relative that they will file a case on all my parents for doing marriage with a alcoholic person.

Not more than 7-8 months,I am with my wife but till now i am not getting any communication from them.

what should i do now?

If i bend from my side and approach them, no doubt they will blame me and put my head in their hands.

What my next step? please advice

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5 Replies

Prasad (Systems Engineer) 19 January 2015

Hi Raju...

Stay cool and calm. You are one of such lakhs of husbands in India.

Every hour a woman in India is doing such atrocity to their husband and his parents.

They lost their mind as law gives them blind support.

Now a days, woman start these kind of atrocities just after having a baby.

Because they think that the husband will fall in their feet and accept to all their demands so as to see his baby.

Your wife did not cook because she wanted you to get angry and do something due to anger.

THEY WANT YOU TO FEEL GUILTY. This will help them to go to police.

This is a well planned strategy by your wife and her family to humiliate and enslave you.

Leave your wife's parents.

If you still love, trust your wife, continue to remain calm and do your best attempts to bring her back.

THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO DEFEAT YOUR WIFE AND HER PARENTS.

But if you have lost all trust and love on your wife, then become a fighter.

You should teach your wife and her parents a good lesson.

Buy a very good smart phone and install call recorder in your phone.

Call your wife, her parents and relatives and try to talk to them genuinely honestly to live together.

Record all their responses. This will be a proof for you later.

Send your relatives to talk to them in good terms.

Submit a police complaint to ask your wife to come and live with you.

Also, send a legal letter to your wife to come and live with you.

When all these attempts fail and you have enough proof of her cruelty and desertion, send a divorce notice via lawyer.

Then, give her time to think through the consequences of divorce and come back to live with you.

File a case to visit your child and tell court that "A CHILD DESERVES TO LIVE WITH BOTH OF ITS PARENTS. IT IS THE RIGHT OF THE CHILD".

And... above all. Be patient. Never get irritated or agitated. This will show you as a weak person.

Make sure your wife and her parents are exposed of their evil thoughts in every step.

They should never ever imagine hurting you any more by cunning methods.

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate ) 19 January 2015

You had done wrong similarly they had also done wrong, you both have to think patiencely before taking any step , now you can do amicable settlement with your wife and in laws for that collect your both sides of respected relatives , your elders , marriage mediator and arrange a meeting for them with your in-laws request them to solve your problem and findout an amicable solution you want to live with your wife and child , if you had done earlier all of your efforts to conciliate the issues but failed and still want your wife and child back with you then file section 9 of hindu marriage act for restitution of conjugal rights .

dev060186 (lecturer) 19 January 2015

Brother u r looking brave mam, in my view behavd like a man nt like a boy.

Raju (MANAGER) 19 January 2015

Thank you my dear well wishers,

I welcome all your suggestions and advises. I am still confused of the step taken by them but why?I married a girl who was financially very weak when compared to us and gave them all the freedom they want and my marriage also became a public talk in our area in those days.More over, now they stick to their decision and not at all trying to communicate with me but telling all the public that if i go their home and apology them and bound to them, then they will send my wife with terms and conditions.If it happens, what will be my future and no doubt they will blame me for anything if dont do really.Now their hope is only that any how i will approach them to withdraw my case. From fist i am also intimating them to withdraw my case then i will come for a settlement. So only the weapon they have is my case and so i am also stick to my decision that to withdraw my case because if go for a settlement they will blackmail me regarding case and it is also reflects that due to case fear i have gone for settlement and resolve the issue which i dont like.

Still now i have appeared for 4 hearings in court and it is going on but they are enjoying at their home and not at all bothering about my baby. In this situation how i can go to their home or send my representatives when they dont even have interest to send their relatives directly to me.

During marriage time, she brought some _Rs___as pasupukumkuma and i bought a site by adding some of my money and registered in her name only and now she is enquiring about those documents and whereabouts of some of jewellary presented by us at marriage time. ofcourse, some of jewellary is with her at the time she left my home. i dont undestand their intention behind this.

This is the story going on and now i want to jerk them legally i.e even divorce notice and let me please know the legal procedures to let them know about the value of law and panalty for a false case. when i am under prosecution, what methods i can follow? plz advise

SuperHero (Manager) 19 January 2015

Do you know what is Post Partum means? You should have shown more Love and Affection after the delivery of the baby. This are common things now a days Women not cooking and so on.

In your Fist of Anger or Temper you have slapped her and also you mentioned blood came from her nose. This is enough for a 498a and DV and this are the Weapons used by Women in India. This is definitely a mistake. You should have avoided it.

She or they might be financially weak. But now a days women are like that, Male to Female ratio is less.

One small issue is enough which can/will become a bigger problem.(One poison drop is enough for a big container of milk which can be spoiled.)

Now her mind is spoiled, there would be so much negativity about you. She doesn't think of how you treated her and taken care of her in the past, the only scene running in all there minds is you hit her and blood came.

Women make big show of you slapping her.

Also the land should have been brought on both of your names. Now she is the owner.

498a is a criminal case, when proven you will be in jail, which will take years.

Divorce proceedings when contested will also take years.

Both parties will roam to court by wasting time, money. After

I would suggest you ask for forgiveness through elders because there is a baby now.

The reason I suggest is the baby will suffer without having both the parents.

As suggested by others request her to come back and join you through RCR, deposit money into her account for the sake of the baby and your wife for maintenance. Show them your love and will take care.

They know you will suffer because now the child is with them.

Pray to God and ask for forgiveness and try not to repeat the same.

Wish You Good Luck.