Mental harrassment from husband

Dear Lady, You have the following options. 1. Forget and forgive. Move on .... go for MCD and concentrate on your career. 2. Punish him...you have all weapons file 498a for mental harrassment and DVC. By this he may file divorce.Contest it. By this you will spoil your life...roaming around police station and courts. No point in torturing yourself with this worthless fellow. 3. Keep calm for sometime. Let him make a move. As you are in india now. Check for a new job for yourself. keep yourself occupied. 4. Engage all elder from both the families, have a open talk and see what is the result. You need to deciede what you want to do with your life. Teaching lesson and punishing leave it to god dear. I know how painful it is to go through all this. But you dont need to get depressed at all. Understand the reason why he is abusing you, if thats his inherent nature...then you dont have to be with him and tolerate this all your life. Take Care!!!

Charu latha,

498a for mental harassment? again another abuse of law?

Dont u see there is no dowry abuse in the case!!! God!!

 

@Author,

Rope in elders and talk, its too early to break a marriage. Sorry for your state but thats the best choice you can pursue as of now. Dont unnecessarily go for legal cases, you will get more frustrated.

Am not sure you are right in feeling vindictive.Some relationships just don`t jel,especially when one person`s abroad.They are used to a different culture and we are different.After marriage,you need to spend a lot of time together when these differences maybecome obvious.Some relationships just don`t work.But why don`t you involve elders and ask for a reasonable compensation.Am sure he`s also feeling guilty and wants to compensate you

Yes...sir!!!! No dowry abuse. You mean what the man has done with her...is it justified??? why the hell men get married if they want to escape the relationship and responsibility. I am not giving her wrong advice...but there is a legal remedy available to her. I gave many other suggestions also. Why dont you point out that???? Can her husband restore her back the time that she has spent with him as his wife ???? Even his behaviour towards her is not justifiable. Men cannot cry for 498a after spoiling somebody's life.

@red.... What according to you is compensation?? few bugs...do you mean all girls can be compensated for using them as wife??? The lady is educated and was working previously do you think she could not groom herself to live in US. and this man is of indian origin right?? Just getting VISA doesnt entitle him to play with somebodys life. Why he dint get any britisher to marry him???? He should have got married to a white...who asked him to marry an indian girl ???

I saw all your other choices and I greatly appreciate it but please dont allow anyone to abuse the law. They will fall prey one day or other for their mindless act.

Men cannot cry for 498a after spoiling somebody's life.

Agreed but it has other solutions like get compensation and divorce. 498a is no solution.

Correct...totally agree.All girls dont agree for monetary compensation. Becoz....money cannot buy her back anything that makes a single girl.........a........ married lady. No one gets anything out of 498a i know that. For Ex: If becoz of my reckless driving somebody looses their life...then can i say take compensation and leave me??? Anyways he wants to leave her...can we make him to stay with her???? Men cannot be given soo much of liberty..otherwise one day even your sisters and daughters will be used in the name of marriage.

lol @ liberty :)

Please understand to file a 498a, you should have case in hand and some proofs to establish dowry demand. So now you please tell me how are you going to take this case forward? A false story? and then she should suffer in the legal web? I would not allow any of my girl relatives suffer for something thats not worthy to pursue.

neway I do believe its too early for the author to call it quits, I dont see any case in the first place, its mere ego clashes and gets resolved just by simple talking with the elders.

@Author, Both of you go for marriage counselling buddy.

@Charulatha

Even the Indian Parliament is slowly recognising that some relationships don` work for nobodys fault-that is why they want to bring irretrievable break down of marriage...This may be his fault but not necessarily something he did on purpose,thats the difference from rash driving...Till you actually live with someone,you cannot say what the relatonship is like...Arranged Marriage is a gamble,sometimes you lose badly

But usually men do not come for counselling. Thats the reason they are forced by way of DVC to come for counselling. @ Author. Remember one thing dear..no matter what happens to your relationship in future. But every religion says that... A man who leaves his wife for no reason and cannot take care of her in thick and thin...he is believed to be a MAN OF WEAK EEMAN. Even god does not forgive them for this sin. Never compromise with your morals and values. His soul will never rest in peace. He will wander like anything all his life.And believe me..he is not valuing you and your love and commitment. Let it be...if at all he marries again... he wont be getting mother mary or sita...he will regret and repent in pain...when god will send him a suitable vamp :P. Just chill!!! What you give comes back to you..this is the law of nature dont forget this.

@red!!! Thanks for bringing in latest updates on what indian parliment is doing. So irritrievable break down of marriage is applicable in case of arrange marriages??? is that what you meant?? Does it mean this particular enactment is not applicable for love marriages? Once married all marriages are just marriages. Arranged or Love is before happening of the event called marriage. All men want is to escape...escape and escape. I think Indian Parliment should make it mandatory that every couple who intends to get married should first come and sign an MOU and incase of failure also...they should deciede the course of action. Men should not stay with their parents after marriage and girls should also be allowed to take care of her parents after marriage. Men should learn how to cook, feed and change diapers of their kids.Girls should be educated and working. Hope all this things are taken care of in your IRBM :):) Badal raha hai india.... all the best.

Is your father, brother included in those all men who want to escape :uhoh

remember each case is different and so is each solution. There is a victim who is badly in need of advice, we should give him/her strength and please dont allow your prejudice take over your intellect.

Not every man/woman is bad :) We have better life's to live rather than going around the courts for years.

Originally posted by : womenprobl
	Hello, We had an arranged marriage in August'12. My husband (who works in US) had good rapport with me ( i was in India) before marriage. But from the day of marriage has been behaving indifferently towards me. After marriage both of us came to US within a week. Since then he has been harassing me mentally and emotionally and says that he does not want to live with me. He has been forcing me to leave to India and live separately there. I was working prior to marriage in India and had resigned my job due to marriage. I feel that I have been cheated by him and have lost my career and personal life because of him with no fault of mine. I am on H4 visa. And have been going through severe verbal abuses against me and my family from him. I have also been getting suicidal tendencies. I have asked him to accompany me to India and talk to my parents and leave me there.   Now that he has spoilt my entire future, I dont want to spare him. I want him to be punished legally for deceiving me. Kindly advice me regarding the legal recourses available to me against him. And i want him to be put behind bars (atleast for 1-2 days) before he leaves to US (he might leave within 1 week) after he leaves me in India. As once he goes to US it will not be easy to take legal action against him and he will not return to India that easily (Its not that I am a wicked women trying to put false cases against my husband, its only that i want him to be punished for playing with a innocent girls life).   Hope to get valuable advice from the learned members of the forum at the earliest. Only serious replies soliceted please.   Regards,

Dear Wicked women:

Forced to call you so as you put words into my mouth, sorry.

He do that, he do this, abuse you, shout at you, tell you to get lost.  All ok.

You say you left your job only because of the marriage, so it means your job was more important to you than marriage.

Where is the love, where is that wilful caring behaviour?

You want to punish him legally? For what?  Have you been caring and loving towards your husband?

It takes two to tango !

Advice? Here it is, catch hold of a wicked lawyer who has no qualms about you demading a million US dollars from your husband and getting 10% of it as fees, who will just take your signature here and there on a few green sheets and will tell, let him go to US, I make him come and fall to your feet.

That was advice No. 1.

Advice No. 2.  Cannot live with the man, seperate peacefully via MCD.  Remember, in the end there is no right and no wrong, no point in teaching anything, perhaps you'd have learnt a lesson or two in the process of making him teach a lesson!

In love marriages,atleast you know what the other person is going to be like...You can imagine what it`s like to touch fire and everyone warns you not to touch it but until you put your hands in a fire,you won`t know what it actually feels like.