Blackmail by husband

Originally posted by : charu latha
	Just an year has been completed for my marriage. i stayed with inlaws and husband for just 2 months.My husband was not coming to my parental house to take me and is after my life for divorce he is also harassing me that he wont give my belongings till i give him divorce. I tried a lot to join him but that bugger left is house and staying do not know....where ???? I want to live with him provided he changes his attitude and controls his anger. He took lot of money from me after marriage and did not give even a rupee to me till date coz i am working. Now he approahed PS saying i am harassing him that i will file 498 a. Which is completely false. This idiot has made my lyf miserable. I want to teach him a lesson and take him around family courts for years together. He spoiled my life and wants to fly to US now. My SIL and MIL also use to say that he is big time bugger and they doubt how i could not find it out before marriage. Now please suggest me what i should do to tactfully deal with divorce case and also get my belongings back and teach him a lesson.

I dont think anyone would suggest you here, tricks to teach him or her a lesson.  

Marriage depends on trust, love and affection and caring for each other and not teaching lesson, when things have become so very nasty, its better to part ways than make life hell for each other.

Though I understand what you are going through, I suggest you leave the matter off. Get divorce, as you know that he is not that a good person, and I dont think he will mend his ways.  But anyway it takes two to tango.  There was Micheal Jackson who used to dance alone, but that's different.

Stay put, be calm, get over this person legally.

Sir, the thing is this guy is not giving any money to her parents also and more over his father is not well and doesnt earn and he making his sister work for maintaining the family.She has to get married ...all her friends are married and this innocent girl should not suffer in all this. He has been wild with me even on bed sir. Now he blames me and his family and even my family. Whereas, we all are suffering becoz of him. Now his parents are crying and left them also. The reason i want to continue this relation with him is only to get his sister married and make him understand that my lyf is spoiled and this shud not happen with other girls also. He is very abusive and his behviour in office is completely different than with family members. I have seen a lot of pain and now i just want to make him umderstand and change his behaviour atleast towards his family. I dont want any money from him nor i want to claim any compensation or maintenance and i am not going to file criminal cases also. God is with me and he shall have something good in store for me. I am working and that is enough. But he must understand what a girl goes through in all this. On top of everyhting he is selfish and wants to fly off without taking care of his family. And only i can stop him from that coz... i can engage him here legally till he mends his ways.

On what grounds will my husband ask for divorce desertion or cruelity?? can he say in the court that marriage is irretrievably broken? I want to know how to contest divorce case filed by husband.I have more than 100's of sms in which he admitted he is wrong and also a crack person. Please let me know what should i do? I am planning to file DVC for mental harassment. Will that give me any relief?

Originally posted by : charu latha
	Sir, the thing is this guy is not giving any money to her parents also and more over his father is not well and doesnt earn and he making his sister work for maintaining the family.She has to get married ...all her friends are married and this innocent girl should not suffer in all this. He has been wild with me even on bed sir. Now he blames me and his family and even my family. Whereas, we all are suffering becoz of him. Now his parents are crying and left them also. The reason i want to continue this relation with him is only to get his sister married and make him understand that my lyf is spoiled and this shud not happen with other girls also. He is very abusive and his behviour in office is completely different than with family members. I have seen a lot of pain and now i just want to make him umderstand and change his behaviour atleast towards his family. I dont want any money from him nor i want to claim any compensation or maintenance and i am not going to file criminal cases also. God is with me and he shall have something good in store for me. I am working and that is enough. But he must understand what a girl goes through in all this. On top of everyhting he is selfish and wants to fly off without taking care of his family. And only i can stop him from that coz... i can engage him here legally till he mends his ways.

Well my dear, you seem to be the caring type, people like are very difficult to find these days!

You want to help his sister get married, you want his parents to be happy, thats a novel idea, but how will you do it?  

Practically there are few options in front of you, one is to earn more, part some money with his parents, as he is not looking after his parents, two is you get a suitable boy for his sister and get her married.

Instead of trying to get him nailed into lega issues which of course will kill his time a lot, wont spare your's either.

Once you are into the legal fold, its not the man who only suffers and learns a lesson of sorts, but its also the petitioner, in this case you, who wants to file some kind of case against your husband.

Having said that, you dont seem to have any interest to live with this person, your wishes of getting the family together, asking him to mend his ways would turn all futile, if the person as he seems is very adamant.

Girl, get a life.  Get divorced, you are  a working woman, get a life, if you realy want to help his sister and his parents, you can consider the above options, why bring hell into your somewhat peaceful life by going to court/police station?

Stay put dear.

Originally posted by : charu latha
	On what grounds will my husband ask for divorce desertion or cruelity?? can he say in the court that marriage is irretrievably broken? I want to know how to contest divorce case filed by husband.I have more than 100's of sms in which he admitted he is wrong and also a crack person. Please let me know what should i do? I am planning to file DVC for mental harassment. Will that give me any relief?

Good Lord, you've planning to go for the DV act case, am sure some lawyer would have suggested this one.

He files divorce case, on whatever grounds he wants, he will, he has to prove all grounds. Now dear, by putting a DV case, you will turn the tables towards him, he will obviousliy say, you putting DV case amounts to cruelty.

Now if you end up putting DV case, you will have to prove that there was an act of violence, example, a police complaint, a medical report etc.

Without any of it, only sms wont prove that he has commited an act of violence.

EItheways if you go ahead with filing DV act case, it will eat up money, and especially precious time of both your lives.

By the end of it who taught whom a lesson wont even mattter.

As I said get a life.  This life setup does not seem to be working for both of you.   Change the setup.

You are right sir. I never wanted to blow the legal horn. He has done that by complaining at police control room and police came to my house and he is threatening me along with his advocate as if i am a criminal. I am suffering in all this a lot. He was not present when i went to PS the ACP was angry as to how can a petitioner be absent. They did not register any complain against me. But his lawyer came there. I am harassed like anything. No ones life is cheap. I am girl that doesnt mean i will give up. I have lot of regards towards both our families but he shud not have given a complaint against me in PS. First i went to PS in my entire life and i am not scared of wasting time in courts or PS. But i am also not like metro wifes filing 498 a and DVC. My dad has got reference of COP Commisioner of Police. And he has endorsed that all support and action will be taken. But i dont want to use powers to harass him. Time will teach him a lesson that will come only after he spends some time and energy in family courts. This is what i feel. And i completely agree with what you said as a good friend to me.

^^^

Put DV act case, if you want to take revenge of he going to police station.  EVery 2nd or 3rd day there will be a date.  Go stand, wait, get another date and come, and you are asured of ex parte order, he will run helter skelter from magistrate court to sessions court to high court back to magistrate court, if he wont attend dates, warrant issue, then NBW, all this will happen.  He gets exparte order set aside in high court or sessons court, comes back, file another application making new averments, some more dates, some more dates, then hearing, evidence, cross examineation, then orders, by the end of it your and his hair would have turned grey.  Say minimum of 4 years, maximum of 6 to 7 years of roaming to courts both of you would have done. So what to say?  All the best in your new venture?  Then it will be...

Ghoda hain maindan he.

Dear Experts, Atleast suggest me a peacefull way to get my belongings back from him. I want my stuff which is in his custody and he is not allowing me to take them. I need my belongings. How do i get that legally without any fuss?? And i also want to know how to protect myself from the false complaint given against me in PS. He has made me more irritated by giving a police complain. Now i do not to give him divorce at all. I had to spend 5 hours waiting for the person there by going on time and then finally those idiots want me to come again to the PS. Without any mistake by my side.

Originally posted by : charu latha
	Dear Experts, Atleast suggest me a peacefull way to get my belongings back from him. I want my stuff which is in his custody and he is not allowing me to take them. I need my belongings. How do i get that legally without any fuss?? And i also want to know how to protect myself from the false complaint given against me in PS. He has made me more irritated by giving a police complain. Now i do not to give him divorce at all. I had to spend 5 hours waiting for the bl**dy person there by going on time and then finally those idiots want me to come again to the PS. Without any mistake by my side.

More deadlier way of taking revenge  will be not agreeing to give divorce, try, thats the best method.  

By the end of it some day you would get your clothes back, but am sure they wont fit you.

You go ask him give me back my belongings, he tell give divorce, take belongings.  I cant understand why cant you give him divorce?

Legally getting back your belongings is via MCD ie mutual consent divorce.  Six months from now you will get your belongings back in the court hall itself.

I dont want to give him divorce coz no man should be encouraged to harass his wife by not giving her.. her stuff and file false complain against her and make her run pillar to post for her own belongings. Its do damm unethical.I want him to prove the grounds for divorce.Here people talk a lot about false 498 a and DVC and cruel wifes. What about such husbands?? Who are cruel to their wifes.He harassed me for dowry, money and s*x. And what not after all this he wants to have a MCD. I would have given him that also, provided he should not have given a complain against me in PS. He has crossed all my tolerance levels. I am not asking my gold and dowry. Just My belongings my books my memories everything is lying in his house. How can you people just give a biased statement towards husbands? Now i feel those wifes who file false cases are correct. Coz people do not understand what the other party goes thru in all this mess. Especially a poor girl who doesnt have anything more than Rs.10,000 per month to suppport her and no idea where her future will take her to.

 

Originally posted by : charu latha
	I dont want to give him divorce coz no man should be encouraged to harass his wife by not giving her.. her stuff and file false complain against her and make her run pillar to post for her own belongings. Its do damm unethical.I want him to prove the grounds for divorce.Here people talk a lot about false 498 a and DVC and cruel wifes. What about such husbands?? Who are cruel to their wifes.He harassed me for dowry, money and s*x. And what not after all this he wants to have a MCD. I would have given him that also, provided he should not have given a complain against me in PS. He has crossed all my tolerance levels. I am not asking my gold and dowry. Just My belongings my books my memories everything is lying in his house. How can you people just give a biased statement towards husbands? Now i feel those wifes who file false cases are correct. Coz people do not understand what the other party goes thru in all this mess. Especially a poor girl who doesnt have anything more than Rs.10,000 per month to suppport her and no idea where her future will take her to.

If you want to have a Future release your anger and vengenence it is not the solution to your problem .  At the heat of the moment you want revenge . But once you start attending the court date in case you file a 498 A or DV case . You will realise and get frustated at the court proceedings which would run for nothing less that 5- 7 yrs .  And what you allege would have to be proved in the court of law and than you come back here saying it is difficult to prove domestic violence inside the 4 walls of the bedroom since you havent recorded the graphic ativity and neither is there any witness inside the 4 walls of the bedroom .

Also agree with your point of view that you are not interested in compensation or maintanence . When you have such lovely traits and morals in life which a few would envy you . As you are earning a pittance you may be granted some maintanence from your husband in case you ask for maintanence . When a flase case is filed a guilty conscience revolves around your mind for which you may even start losing your sleep  . We too are victims of false cases but we have a good nights sleep bcoz our Conscience is clear .

you say you are earning Rs 10.000 per month  once lawyers fees start for your court proceedings you would have to opt for leave ,your salary would be cut etc and what would you be left with is the question you have to ask your self . Once the matter goes to court you would get your belongings etc . But at the end of it ask your self is it worth figthing a court case for 5-7 yrs as your age goes up or do you feel you should go for MCD and lay the path for a new life getting Married again and lead a new life is the decision you have to make ?? The choice is yours we can only put forth our views . 

I know life is precious and not only mine but everyone else's life is precious. Will any of the soo called 498a victims or DVC victims come forward and forgive their wifes and give their marriage a second chance?? i believe all of you want to get rid of your wifes and those ladies do not have any other option left other than filing false cases to recover their money and dowry. Its easy to preach others to move on and not get into legal battle. Even i would suggest that to anyone who comes to me. But at the same time as Mr. Sujay sir said it takes two to tango. Thats the reason i am asking my soldier to go to the war front and fight the battle and win the crown of divorce. Now why does he needs his wife ??? so that the time which otherwise would get wasted in family courts will be used fruitfully to spoil other girls life?? Someday he would definitely get ashamed of himself and his deeds, when he will see the reality of life in family courts and understand the pain of divorce and seperation. Even if he doesnt atleast it will kill all my feeling towards him. Becoz realisation comes only to human beings. I have decieded not to get married after the ugly experiences i had from this fellow. Now i cant be Jhansi ki rani anymore in my life to marry another idiot and then he will also make my life miserable by pointing out my divorcee status. Life is not about only getting married.

He He ...I hope so you are aware what for False 498 A or false DV cases are filed ?? 

Its nothing but all about abstraction of Money to come to a settlement . SO can you tell me how do you expect a False 498 A or A DV wife to come Back or her husband to take her back  when her only motive is money ????So as you have raised the war cry now what are you waiting for go ahead and file your cases of 498 A or D V case and wait till your case comes to the evidence stage and for cross examination than only will you realise .

Hi Stanley.... i have clearly mentioned that i do not want to file any criminal case, though i have enough dowry harassment proofs and evidences. Because i dont want money and i dont want to spoil his mental peace to such aan extent. Becoz i loved him and he is my husband. Let him be cruel to me but i am not someone who can be bought for vitamin M. But he definitley married me for vitamin M and vitamin S.And that has made me the person i am today. Its good that we did not have kids ....otherwise those innocent souls would have also suffered in all this.My objective is very clear when i am not at fault i dont want to go for MCD. Let me prove that in court that he is right and i am wrong use his weapons of cruelity and desertion or irritrievable breakdown of marriage.I am ready to face it. Atleast he will get thorough knowledge of other provisions of law and be carefull next tym.