Child support

@ Samir N  -

Well i was not aware of this and the loopholes . Thanks for letting me know of that  ! 

However ,That's not the case with me .

i am just asking clean amount not very over the board at all ,also negotiating the same to some extent  and  After all... its his child also !

I don't want money as to shut up , i don't want wife maintenance,or Property Division    - i want only a place to stay where i should not be asked to move out with any notice ,shift from landlord or pay rent. where in we will be secured that's all .

And if you cant give a house then you give me some funds so that i make arrangements !

(A very ill logical suggestion which is off course i wont use"in reality" even if he demands  is  why he does not ask for child custody ?i will do visitation and pay monthly for child support as my contribution ?  off course the child wont go as he i also big enough  ,i wont leave him too coz he is all who i have for life now .. but i just mentioned.)

As a husband  he does not want to give money or make residence arrangement  nor as a father he wants to take the responsibility .

How can everything be granted cheap ya ~

Now Samir you give me an argument to discuss with his lawyer so that i don't lose - I need your help that's why i am here !

@Super Hero ,

No offenses .. My husband is not  a devil  :)

There are many children who are less fortunate to get good . My heart flies for them .. every year we read in the new paper about the number of Board toppers who have struggled up hardships and made it big.

Fortunately , my son has a good fortune  he has good educated parents and things are happening for him.I want this to continue , We brought him in this world so its our responsibility .

To give secured life to our kid .

Good you reminded .. about Health and Life insurance  :)

I presume this thread is going on and on deviating from the original post. The querist has received adequate opinions and advises from various experts. 

@ Mr.Sainath -

Don't get deviated  ! 

Don't Read ! Don't Presume ! Don't Comment !

Mr.Samir and Super hero have given me a lot of insight and have really helped  .

Thank you both !

@Shewta

I noticed the break up of the figures you mentioned.

2Lac x 6yrs = 12Lac (Past yrs)            

2Lac x 14 yrs = 28 lacs (Future yrs)   Total = 40 Lac.

You may demand 50% of the amount you spend for past 6 years as a maintenance. Thats is Rs. 6 lakhs which your husband is ready to pay now ( his 1 year salary). When a wife is working then its automatically becomes the duty of husband and wife to contribute equally for the upbringing of the child which included education.

But how come you demand another 28 lakhs ( for next 14 years future) now. Not only as per the law but also as per normal condition you also need to give 14 years of time to your husband to earn money. I dont want to say but unfortunately what will happen if your husband expires all of sudden or if he face any serious accident where he may become handicapped or get bed ridden and not able to earn. Then how can you demand for the next 14 years money now. Then you have to give the next 14 years time to your husband also. After 14 years whether your husband will pay or not that will be a Court matters.

(A very ill logical suggestion which is off course i wont use"in reality" even if he demands  is  why he does not ask for child custody ?i will do visitation and pay monthly for child support as my contribution ?

What have mentioned here is normally not acknowledge by the Court. I wish all mothers/ Wife and even the Courts thinks in the same way you are thinking. Till the age of 8 years the custody remains with the Mother only. When the child becomes 8 years old its then The Court decide about the custody of child given to whom. There are different factors depend on it. First child opinion was aksed where in cases 98% child stays that he/she will stay with her mother as he/she have stayed for 8 years with his/her mother thene naturally there is an emotion , bonding have taken place. Its human nature a child who didnt see his/her father properly then how will there be any attachmnent with father.  Those child who are staying with both of his/her parents even there also the child is having less attachment to his/her father comapring to his/her mother . This is because most of time in a day father remains out of his home due to his service/ business. This is human nature.

Why did you walk out of your matrimonial house 6 years before even if you are having soft corner for your husband till date. Did you ever try to realise how is your husband feeling without wife & child. He also got emotions, feelings, after all he is also a human being. Its not the solution that he will keep on visiting regularly to you and the child. As per the marriage rituals a bride goes to her husband house and stays there forever. A husband doesnt come to his wife house to stay forever. So you should have initiate for solving amicably your married life atleast for the sake of your child rather wasting valueable 6yrs of life.

Correct me if i have tell anything wrong. Dont always think by laws. First think on your moral conscious . First think as a Human Being. Law comes later on. Its we the Human who have make laws. Not God.

 "Now Samir you give me an argument to discuss with his lawyer so that i don't lose - I need your help that's why i am here!"

First, you need to keep your approach as simple as possible, but no more.  Unfortunately, parties get carried away by the whims and fancies of their advocates and advice they get from half-baked advocates or worse, non-advocates like me!!! Very soon there is a plethora of cases files, applications made without any specific end-goal in mind and the litigation becomes a mess - the litigation file gets a foot tall, new advocates shy away from such cases or ask astronomical figures to take the case. For advocates who create such situations - this is orgasmic.  You are stuck with them for the long run and long it sure will be...

Another advice for a woman in matrimonial litigation is that THREAT IS MORE LETHAL THAN ATTACK. The hint that you are considering the filing of various cases can be leveraged a lot more than actually filing the cases... No advocate will give you this advice.  Reason? A clear conflict of interest. Be assured that if you file DV, 498 and other such cases, you are digging a hole for him in the short-term but a real deep one for yourself. Just threaten that you can and that you will file, if required. But never file any case other than one seeking   maintenance and divorce, if you absolutely must. 

Strike when the iron is hot.  Once you have threatened to file cases, the iron is hot, proverbially speaking. Your threat of filing cases will slowly lose their heat as time passes on. So, try to close a settlement without getting too greedy...  Be realistic... understand what is really doable and reasonable for him. 

"Threaten" when talking to his advocate : When you discuss with his lawyer, you need to present to him what you can get from the Courts... Tell him that your husband is stuck with litigations for the rest of his life because you will always be seeking for higher maintenance no matter what is ordered now simply because you are entitled to  one when circumstances change and circumstances change all the time... Tell him that the day he marries another woman, you will make sure that every event is a "change in circumstances..." Then, rattle all the cases that you can possibly file against him... In short, hint that you can make life hell for him...

But guide him towards the better option: But... Then, tell him that you are not that type of a person. You want him to lead a good life, his way as long as he takes good care of you and your son... Tell him that there is an alternative that he can choose... He can live in comfort... become ambitious... earn and enjoy... have girlfriends, wives, lovers, whoever... if only he can give you a one-time lumpsum settlement and both of you part ways amicably... You will consent to a mutual agreement divorce... You will even let him visit his son... All this will be part of the settlement and that you will wish him good luck for the rest of his life... and from the bottom of your heart...

I am advising you with this approach because I believe that this leads to a win-win situation for both sides, provided the husband gets a top-class advocate to draft his settlement and not just rely on free advice from a smartass like me -:)  

As for all the advice on God, morality, faith, fairness and other such discussions,  I think that even the Gods stay away from Courts... Just keep your reasonable objectives in mind and work towards them and only towards them sans emotions. Gods have no role to play in the Court system. I am not sure that they have a role to play in any system but that is not what we are discussing here. 

THIS IS MY FINAL CONTRIBUTION TO YOUR QUERY. I HOPE OTHER WOMEN ALSO READ IT AND FOLLOW IT. GOOD LUCK!!! 

I really appreciate Samir N for his time spent on this query and his detailed reply.

Yes Thank you Samir N ,

For the bottom of my heart this is the best  reply !

Thank you is less, that you have shelled out time and efforts for this !

This solved my Query and i have taken notes  !

My husband has got a top-class advocate to draft his settlement  ,  I am to meet his Lawyer in second week of coming month with a Woman Lawyer  .However his lawyer is practicing in High court mostly a corporate lawyer who does not sound much interested in taking the case on for long .. he is interested in settlement as we are .

Lets see what happens will keep you all updated !

@ Mr. Das

Thank you for your kindness !