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HI,

I came to India from UK after 3 years for my sister marriage. For my baby this is the first trip. My daughter was a premature baby and doctor advised us not to get infected as this is her first trip to India.  So I was so cautious. My inlaws home was very small and poor sanitation.  Lots of mosquitos and next to their home was cows home . For me it is ok. But for my daughter this is completely new and I don't  wanna to get my baby exposed to these poor sanity area and get infected.   As per doctor advise I planned to stay in my relative home. My parents informed this plan to my father-in-law and to my husband. They all agreed.  My hubby went to his home in India. Dono what happened. my husband has been influenced of his father,sister and neighbours talk that a girl after marriage has to come to in-laws home first and their family temple.   My hubby started to threaten that I have to come to his home and his family temple from airport. He is least bother about myself and baby health. He black-mailed me and my parents if I wasn't doing this they will not come to my sister marriage. I accepted since my sister marriage has to be happen without any fights.. So when I landed in airport they took me to their home and temple. I asked my father to accompany me for my safety. The day went. The next day was my sister marriage. My hubby didnt turned up. My father tried him and he said he is on the way. He exactly came on the marriage time. Meanwhile in the marriage I and my baby spoke to everyone who came to the marriage. mY family doctor also came to the marriage. He said the baby has become tired and asked me dont be in the crowd and make the baby to sleep. As per the doctor advise i took my baby to the room and made her sleep. Me while my hubby started shouted at me that I am not allowing the baby to seen by others. I really accept they came for the marriage and to see the baby. As my baby is pre-mature i cant showcase her. If she get infected it will be impact for us and not for them. My hubby didnt realise and started shouted at me. He started screaming at my father. Then I shouted at his father dont disturb our harmony in the marriage.. THey all don't understand the baby situtation and started screaming at our family. MY mom,dad,sister and myself where very very upset. We have been emotionally harrased.  Now my husband is ordering for the next trip I have to come to their home directly and no excuse. I really dono.. This looks like emotional black-mail.  I donot have respect in their home and how could I go to their home. My husband is forcing me to live with them.  If not we canot live like husband and wife in India and only in Uk we can live. He is black-mail.  Because of this fight my inlaws smartly asked my hubby to get a big home. My husband is jobless in UK and I have 20,000 pounds debt in UK.  My hubby is planning to buy the home.  This will in turn force my husband and me to go to job.  I will not able to take care of my baby. My hubby will be running behind the money. The motive of fight is to make my hubby to buy the home in their native place.  The impact will be our family and my in-laws will be happily live int he big home. Such a cheating game. What can I do.

 
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Bangalore

^^^

Discuss with hubby

 
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ADVOCATE--LEGAL ADVISOR

Dear Chennai Homemaker,

Your concern is only and only about the baby, WHICH IS NOT YOUR ALONE. Baby is of yours and your husband.

You are too caring for your parents and the least for your in-laws.

While living in the society, you must possess and show the equal respect for you in-laws.After all family traditions have also to be preserved.

Buying of house by your husband, while he is out of money and jobless, can never be termed as a wise decision. You be soft, polite and pleasant to your husband. Share and discuss with him. Please donot create a scene with the help of your parents, brother, sister etc. otherwise this will prove disasterous for your own unit of family. Relax Relax and Relax AND continue faith in GOD. Go back to U.K. as soon as possible. Only then each and everything will settle down peacefully. Mind your own family and let your parents and in-laws remain blessed. This is neither legal nor social problem ; but your personal (to some extent self created due to over-reaction) problem. GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR FAMILY.

 
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What should you do? Maturity should prevail.

Law and order can only destroy they cannot build a relationship. You assumed that your husband has no concern over your kid's health.

Go win your husband, let his ego win one single time and everything will be great :)

 
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Advocate

1) There is a total trust deficit between you two which soured your relationship,

2) You think that they are for their selfish gain without trying to find out what they are thinking about you,

3) It may not be correct to think that your husband has no concern for your baby for whom you & your parents are only bothered,

4) Your problem is not yet a legal problem but  approaching towards a very bda legal dispute in near future,

5) Matured handling of the matter by listening to other's views by both of you is required to save your marriage,

6) Take steps after careful thinking.

 
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