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mrs. homemaker (none)     28 June 2011


I have been married for 13 years. Ours was an absolutely perfect marriage, till the day i discovered my husbands extra marital affair witha concubine!! Having been confronted, he compromised for a few days, but i got to know that he is very much meeting her. Later he started absconding on weekends..weekdays..and finally left n never returned!! All this without any talk or communication to me. This is happening from the last eight months. He has not been giving me any money. I am not earning and have survived with the little savings i had and now am dependent on my family and friends. I am 35 years. Now he has stopped paying the emis of the home loan of the house we jointly own. Two emis have been bounced. Third emi if not paid, the bank will auction the house.

I have ample proof to proove adultery. I have been under immense trauma physically and mentally in these months and am under medication.

1. Can i sue him for adultery? criminal or family?

2. Can i sue him for domestic violence?

3. If i ask for maintainance and pray to court to direct him to pay emi, can i sue him later for adultery and dv, coz i will be homeless if i dnt prioritise the house problem.

4. How can i charge the concubine for abetting dv?

5. Should i ask for restitution fo conjugal rights? If i do then again does my claim to adultery and dv be lost?


 21 Replies

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     29 June 2011

sorry to know about you.


is the cocubine a married woman?if she is,you can get in touch with her hubby and show him the proof of this affair.once he sees the proof,convince him to sue your husband,since u cant do the same.your husband may fear her husband more than he fears you.


if she is unmarried,i am sorry to say u cant do anything about it.u cant sue the cocubine.she is laadli of feminists.this is the beauty of indian laws.such women cant be sued by wives even if they are home breakers.and max. protection to such women comes from women rthemselves,who are also someone's wives and mothers of married daughters.that is the saddest part.

but u can file DV case against ur husband to get compensation for harassment(adultery ids mental cruelty),maintenance for urself,etc..if your husband has been abusive also with you in other ways like beating,using bad language,etc.,file a 498A case against him,ONLY if u r sure to divorce him.if u dont want a divorce,DV Act will be fine.


PS-Am not a wait further for a sound legal opinion.

1 Like

mrs. homemaker (none)     29 June 2011

Thnx Roshni.

Actually she is a "singer" in a bar and a prostitute!!! do u think i would want my husband back? Yet i tried pleading him for the last months but to no avail, my love was taken for granted and deemed as my insecurity. and yes he has been abusive physically and verbally, but i cannot prove it as that time i did not file any police complaint. 

Now i guess i have to awaken my dignity  n self respect which i had hidden inside.

Also i have one more question, Is there any time frame for DV or 498A case?


Post your query to the expert section. Here you will mostly get opinions not solid legal advice

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     29 June 2011



See my reply below:


Q1. Can i sue him for adultery? criminal or family?

A1. No. This right would have been available only to that woman's husband. But unfortunately for you, as your mentioned, she is a concubine. So, it's not possible for you. However, you can file a case of cruelity against your husband who has not yet formally divorced you. This would bring him to senses, I hope.


Q2. Can i sue him for domestic violence?

A2. I don't think it forms any sort of violence. It's only cruelity to have physical relation and extra-marital affair outside your existing marriage.


Q3. If i ask for maintainance and pray to court to direct him to pay emi, can i sue him later for adultery and dv, coz i will be homeless if i dnt prioritise the house problem.

A3. Yes. You can ask for maintenance as well as seperate residence from this person. Just file an application with your local court (area concerned) and mention that you cannot afford a lawyer either. The court is bound to appoint a lawyer for  you called "Amicus-Curie" for free. In the application, you can seek interim order with which your husband would be bound to pay maintenance from the very first date of hearing in the court.


Q4. How can i charge the concubine for abetting dv?

A4. You cannot do anything about her. What she did is protected under our law and she cannot even be charged of abetting her offence (as per S.497IPC called Adultery {by men only and never by woman}).


Q5. Should i ask for restitution fo conjugal rights? If i do then again does my claim to adultery and dv be lost?

A5. Yes. You can claim RCR in your petition as I described above. This is also a good tactics to teach him a lesson. Certainly, a fool who left his dear wife for a whore woudn't understand soft talk. So get him crushed as much as possible in various sections. As already answered, you DONT have any right for adultery but DV is not applicable in your case.


All the best !!




1 Like

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     29 June 2011

Dear Forum Members,


This post shows and describes a case where a woman really need the bad-named S.498A & DV Act. Such are instances which provoke the whole society to stand besides the victim and against the accused. However, such cases being so scant, generally 498A and DV Act is misused in whole-sale. It's gruesome and shameful for this Govt. to draft and pass "weak" laws which only sticks to one side of the story.


Once a complaint is filed, the accused has no option than to succumb to the (slow) process of law which grinds the innocent to half. It's injustice to not to make balanced laws which not only takes care of the complainant but also of the accused. In such cases, generally there is no need of arrest. But police is so swift to arrest innocent persons as if they are terrorist. Candidly, murderers, rapists and robbers roam scott free under the nose of the same police.


There is urgent and alarming situation which needs radical changes in police arrest procedure and criminal procedure code which allow protection to the victim and ALSO to the innocent who has been falsely implicated.




1 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     29 June 2011

1. Can i sue him for adultery? criminal or family?

You, by now, might be knowing that there are two types of cases-criminal cases and civil cases.  Divorce case, Restituion, Hindu Adoption and maintenance cases fall within the area of civil cases.  Section 498-A case, Section 304-B dowry death case, Section 406 IPC (recovery of istridhan), Section 420 (forcing /cheating the wife to sign on property papers) etc. fall in criminal cases category.  The domestic violence Act cases, S.125 Cr.P.C.maintenance cases fall in quasi-criminal proceedings, broadly it means that those are semi-civil and semi-criminal, the reliefs are civil in nature and the proceedings are criminal in nature.

If you want divorce, you can use his adultery as a ground to get the decree.  His adultery is a ground for seeking the reliefs under domestic violence Act as well as Section 125 maintenance.   

2. Can i sue him for domestic violence?

Definitely.  His acts you described in your post come within the purview of physical, mental and economic abuse.  The reliefs you get once you invoke domestic violence Act are - maintenance for you and your children, educational and medical expenses for both you and your children, separate residential accommodation if you do not want to live with him under the same roof due to his adulterous and cruel behaviour AND MOST IMPORTANTLY FOR YOU, YOU CAN SEEK THE INDULGENCE OF THE COURT TO GIVE HIM DIRECTION TO PAY THE EQUAL MONTHLY INSTALMENTS WITHOUT FAIL TO THE BANK UNDER HOUSING LOAN ACCOUNT.

3. If i ask for maintainance and pray to court to direct him to pay emi, can i sue him later for adultery and dv, coz i will be homeless if i dnt prioritise the house problem.

For getting maintenance under Section 125 cr.p.c. you have to prove that he is negligent towards you, you are not capable to maintain yourself and he is in a position to pay maintenance.  But for seeking maintenance under DV Act and for seeking a direction to him to pay EMI under DV Act (This relief you can get only under DV Act or by filing a separate Civil Suit, which is a costly and cumbersome procedure), you have to prove to the court of violence as defined under Domestic Violence Act (Keeping a concubine, not paying you money for your expenses and physically abusing are violent Acts as per DV Act).  You will get relief about house problem by invoking DV Act.

4. How can i charge the concubine for abetting dv?

You cannot charge her for abetting DV.  But if you know her name and address and if you file divorce case for adultery, she will be co-respondent along with your husband.

5. Should i ask for restitution fo conjugal rights? If i do then again does my claim to adultery and dv be lost?

I suggest that do not go for restitution, because once you file this petition, it means you are condoning his cruel acts and in you future proceedings for divorce or DV Act, it will be difficult for you to raise the ground of cruelty.

mrs. homemaker (none)     29 June 2011

Thnx Uma, Saurabh and Chandu.

I m so frustrated!! With a lot of counselling an medication had come out of depression but i fear am again getting back into it.

Can any one tell me approx period the court will decide, if i file for maintainance and to direct him to pay emis accusing him of adultery and DV.

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     29 June 2011



You can get relief immediately on the first date itself. These laws have been made to protect women like you. So the court shall be obliged to do atleast immediately order interim maintenance for you. However, you will also have to show to the court all the related proofs. Only upon getting convinced, will the court order in your favor.


If you are from Delhi, then let me know. I can suggest an advocate for your case..




mrs. homemaker (none)     29 June 2011

Saurabh, i have so much proof that if i can sue him for adultery and mental and economic and s*xual abuse, he will rest in jail for a long time!!

I m from mumbai.


Mrs Homemaker, get out of your depression and take the action recommended by saurabh V and Adv Chandu.
You don't have to prove anything to get him in prison, but to keep him in prison you seem to have enough evidence. Laws have given the power but not everybody learns to fight back. hope you do.


Oops, sorry it seem from the expert replies that 498A doesn't apply here.  I had assumed that it did when I wrote "You don't have to prove anything to get him in prison". I don't have knowledge of law, hope you get justice.
Most men who carry on extra-marital affairs do not change (it's comparable to alcoholism and other addictions).
I don't know how many women seem to claim that they had a perfect marriage before an affair was discovered. How can it be? He was still cheating you before you found out.

Raj Kumar Makkad (Adv P & H High Court Chandigarh)     18 July 2011

Saurav has opined rightly. I do agree with him.

mrs. homemaker (none)     03 December 2011

I have filed for Emi and maintainance under DV act around August 2011. Its been around three months and yet i havnt got the order to direct my husband to pay emi. Also no interim for maintance has been started. 


There are many instances where the wife has to suffer and not only husbands...

To be very practical..what is need now is need to survive...and then think about what to do with your life..

Forget about filing cases and other things now..

I suggest you file DV..because, from what you have said in your first post, the accusations will not fall under the umbrella 498A and if he is clever and intelligent, he will get the case quashed...and you will have nothing to gain if he goes to will be difficult for you if you file 498a because, he will also start fighting ancd contesting the will take time

Get in touch with a lawyer (be careful because lawyers always exploit your miseries, be careful with money)..borrow some money from your friends...and file will get interim maintanance...very quickly...

Later on file Divorce, I dont think that you marriage will work, GOOD FOR YOU..NO POINT STAYING WITH A MAN WHO SLEEPS AROUND WITH BAR GIRLS...




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