Upgrad LLM

a man's life

Asst Manager

Hello to all Readers and members...!

Hope you all are doing well.

To give a brief of myself, I would call myself a "half-married-abused-insulted-thrown out by wife”, who’s martial life lasted less than 6 months and fighting a false case is clocking a year now. I like you all to give a thought of what is a role of a husband in "Indian Society". Many of the readers might think my writings are irrelevant, but, to people like me (which are more in this forum) will hopefully make a lots of sense. A Husband has many roles to play, needs to wear many masks, A lover, A seducer, Full of Responsibility, Head of the family (for some cases), A Earner, A protector, A Fighter, A guide, A mentor, A Teacher, A Charmer, A logically balanced Human being. Right? But what happens when he goes through a Divorce, against his will & wish? What does he feel? What pains he goes through? Additionally, when he gets plotted by his most loveable wife and in-laws about false charges and cases and runs around advocates and police and other judicial system just to prove his innocence? Have any-one gave a thought to it? Have, even the wife who had put his husband in such a misery, have even gave a thought to it? I’m quite sure, the answer is “No”. In reality no-one give a damn about the Husband.

It says “Mard ko kavi dard nehi hota” and even, one of our premium actress makes a TV campaign, “Ladke rulate nehi” . Good..! We are being so much of feminist & there is nothing wrong in it. We should be feminist. We must cover/protect/take-care of our Mother, Wife, Sister, and everyone. But what happens, these men gets attacked, abused, insulted, wrongly framed, and sometimes even wrongly judged? Crying in open is very easy, but ask a man who cries & crave to have his own family everyday every moment. Have any-one of us ever given a thought to that silent cry of that man? Have any-one of us ever given a thought to the condition he is going through when he is facing all these? Have any-one of us ever thought of the Husband’s family who had been brutally insulted in an open forum. Again the answer is “No” & I’m sure of it.

Look friends, I’m not saying here all women are wrong and all men are right. But, it is high time now, that the society we live in, must change views about men, a bit. After, facing the false charges, I got to see, no-one is bothered to see/hear a condition of a man at all. Everyone is very much interested to hear about the woman and unfortunately starts believing them even before hearing the other side of the story. Now the question is, how far this will go? How much we will cry? How much we will mourn? Will there be any ending? I’m still searching for this answer.

Let’s analyse a man’s life, after marriage.

  • A full on responsible person – He is probably the only earner of his family, needs to have secured job or business to support his family which might consist of Parents, Wife, may be kid/kids, needs to plan kids future.
  • • A full on lover – already married, hence, must be in-love with his wife and probably have a kid out of his love & wedlock. Needs to understand the most mysterious mind of his wife, fulfils her needs & wants, satisfy her mentally and physically
  • • A full on Planner – must foresee the future of his family and save & protect from any mis-happenings, building enough corpus for his future and & provide all kind of safeguards to his family for any unforeseen unfortunate incidents
  • • A full on Father & guide – to his kid/kids, have love & affection, being a guide & a mentor always, a role-model for the kid, setting an example for the kid, provide protection. • A full on Worker – In order to fulfil all the previous need of his life, he needs to earn well. Hence, a dedicated worker.

Now, let’s analyse a man’s life, after marriage – during divorce.

  • • A full on responsible person – Being the only earner of the family, he must manage his funds, and also arrange alimony. Give bribe to Police, pay fees to advocates, takes rounds to courts, visit counsellors.
  • • A full on Lover – Gone case, whom to love, the lady he loved, filed a case, whom to love and satisfy?, His own satisfaction has gone for a toss. Mentally & physically & every other way.
  • • A Full on Planner – all plans failed, he now, has to break the FDs which meant for his kids education or marriage, might have to sell out properties which he acquired.
  • • A full on Father & guide – of course, he is, he fights for his custody rights, he fights for visitation rights.
  • • A full on worker – again, to fulfil all the previous points, he must have a secured job & sometimes, his wife make such miserable life for him, he loose his jobs or ends up mortgaging his businesses too.

Now, Readers, experts and friends here, pls analyse yourself, what is happening? Your suggestions are welcome & criticisms too. I’m not a lawyer, neither a counsellor, but seeing this condition, I’m sure, very soon, the institutions of marriage will be over & out of many of men’s mind. As far as I’m concerned, I’m rather more scared to marriage than death.

 
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Proprietor

WHAT THROWN OUT ??

 

WHO WAS THROWN OUT ??

 

HELLO !!! WAKE UP...

 

YOUR WIFE THREW HERSELF OUT OF YOUR LIFE....

 

COME ON....WAKE UP AND SEE THE REALITY.

 

DO NOT PUSH YOURSELF INTO DEPRESSION, INFERIORITY COMPLEX AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

 

DO NOT WATCH THE HORROR MOVIE THAT SHE AND HER GROUP HAVE SCRIPTED FOR YOU.

 

COME OUT OF HER MOVIE THEATRE.

 

A WIFE WHO DOES NOT HAVE THE PATIENCE AND TOLERANCE FOR A HUSBAND, ACCEPTING HIM FOR BOTH HIS POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES, SUCH A WIFE DOES NOT DESERVE A HUSBAND AND MATRIMONIAL LIFE.

 

SO, AS PER THE LAW OF NATURE, SHE KICKS HERSELF OUT OF HER HUSBAND'S LIFE AND HER OWN MATRIMONIAL LIFE.

 

READ THIS FULLY....for your situation.

 

You walk alone

You cry alone

You die alone

__________________

This is the reality of Life.

__________________

 

Now, just get over this accident of your life.

 

Yes, it is just an accident.

 

THE TIME WHEN YOU GET UP AND DUST YOURSELF AND MOVE ON...THAT TIME IS THE TURNING POINT OF YOUR LIFE.

 

Once you get up, now, NO FORCE ON EARTH can stop you.

 

But, WHEN...that WHEN is the question.

 

when will you GET UP, DUST YOURSELF, LAUGH AT THE PEOPLE WHO HIT AND RAN, PICK UP WHATEVER IS LEFT OUT AND MOVE ON ?

 

That date, that day, that time, that moment --- THAT MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE IS WHEN YOU TURN AROUND AND FLY.

 

Jo beeth gayee so baath gayee...do not turn backwards anymore.

 

See what the solution is and move towards that.

 

See, There was this chap working as a labourer at a hotel.

 

Around the year 2007-2008.

 

He was earning two hundred rupees a day.

 

He had TWO WIVES and both of them were living with him

 

All three were living happily.

 

I heard of this chap from my acquaintance who owned a hotel.

 

So, if people want to be happy they will.

 

if they want to be sad, they will.

 

It is more of a choice and less of a compulsion.

 

Yes, i agree, it is difficult, very difficult, when you are the victim.

 

But look at it the other way. WHO CARES ?

 

Somewhere somebody planted an explosive in your life, the bomb went off and you are injured.

 

But you are writhing in pain and the culprits are not bothered.

 

That is life.

 

ALWAYS DOUBT THE UNDOUBTED AND SUSPECT THE UNSUSPECTED.

 

If YOU ARE NOT ALERT, FROM SOME-WHERE A MOUSE ENTERS YOUR HOUSE AND YOU HAVE A HELL OF A TIME TO DRIVE THAT MOUSE OUT.

 

SO TOO IS LIFE.

 

IF YOU DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE SIGNALS OF NATURE, SOME DAY THE IMPACT IS HUGE...VERY HUGE.

 

__________________________

 

To you, My suggestion is this 

 

BASED ON YOUR WRITINGS OF ALL THESE DAYS, I CAN SEE THAT YOUR MIND IS STILL FRESH.

 

THE CLARITY OF THOUGHT, THE WORDS YOU USE, THE REALITY YOU POINT OUT,...etc etc etc....

 

YOU MUST DEFINITELY BE A PERSON FROM A REFINED and CULTURED FAMILY BACKGROUND.

 

SO, REMEMBER THAT YOUR FRESH MIND, despite all the nonsense and nuisance and garbage hurled at you, THAT FRESH MIND OF YOURS, is GOD's Gift to you.

 

Such a FRESH MIND is rare even after all hell in matrimonial life.

 

I have seen many victims take to drugs and alcohol and s*x-workers.

 

But your thinking is CRYSTAL-CLEAR.

 

So, COME WHAT MAY, JUST DO NOT PERMIT ANY HARM TO THAT FRESHNESS OF YOUR MIND.

 

That is your WEALTH NOW.

 

MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU DO NOT HARM YOUR MIND.

 

HERE is one for you to listen and THE MEANING OF EVERY WORD is very significant in your case.

 

This is a FULL VERSION in (1) and the last portion of this (1) applies to you. (2) is a rejoinder. (3) and (4) too.

 

So, listen completely.

 

Two here. Both apply to you. Listen to (1) first and then to (2).

 

(3) will be your wife's state one day. But do not bother. Keep Moving.

 

 

(4) is for your immediate implementation....TIME GONE NEVER RETURNS....DUST YOURSELF, PACK UP AND FLY.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________

 

1)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYkADd5RNXU

 

 

2)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heZC52CKtLQ

 

 

3)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0A1D26wFiA

 

 

4)

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BHOJaovd6s

 

 

 


Total likes : 3 times

 
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Logical and Legal Advisor at Family Court

After one dies, it be written born on.. died on... on the tombstone or on a photo beneath it a inscripttion.  But people will remember you of who you were, you might hve gotten into cases, court, [police station, fights, stood up for someone, fought for someone, got beaten up, etc etc     etc.

 

But one should lead life who people can point out and tell.......... THAT'S THE WAY TO LIVE LIFE.. HE DID NOT DETER.. HE LIVED LIFE !

 

Dont get bogged down by minsicule things, there is more to life than just marriage, marriage is just a part of life, life is much more bigger than what you think.  Cheer up.  Life is waiting to be lived.


Total likes : 1 times

 
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Asst Manager

Hello Natarajan Sir, and Gyan Prakash Sir.

First of all, thanks for your most encouraging thoughts. Its really helpful and quite refreshing.

& Natarjan Sir, thanks for the links, true & inspiring.

Just to clarify a few things for my post.

  1. I've already accepted the happenings of my life and every moment I prepare myself to live a life. Yes, you both are right, most of the times I fail to make myself understand, but again I try to make myself ask questions and get answers from them.
  2. The purpose of writing this post or any other suggestion is not to express my problems. The problem which I've faced and which I'm facing probably, somrthing very common now-a-days, and my heart goes out for those men who unfortunately stepped into the wrong wedlock and suffer. I raise this post for them & for me too.
  3. Again the purpose of writing down this post, not to show my frustration. but to understand the helplessness, and why ?
  4. What could be the outcome of this helplessness in longer term?
  5. Will we, the men, ever get a fair judgement?

I know, these questions will remain un-anserwed, but believe, someday, they will eventually burst out.

 
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Logical and Legal Advisor at Family Court

Originally posted by : I walk alone
Hello Natarajan Sir, and Gyan Prakash Sir.

First of all, thanks for your most encouraging thoughts. Its really helpful and quite refreshing.

& Natarjan Sir, thanks for the links, true & inspiring.

Just to clarify a few things for my post.


I've already accepted the happenings of my life and every moment I prepare myself to live a life. Yes, you both are right, most of the times I fail to make myself understand, but again I try to make myself ask questions and get answers from them.
The purpose of writing this post or any other suggestion is not to express my problems. The problem which I've faced and which I'm facing probably, somrthing very common now-a-days, and my heart goes out for those men who unfortunately stepped into the wrong wedlock and suffer. I raise this post for them & for me too.
Again the purpose of writing down this post, not to show my frustration. but to understand the helplessness, and why ?
What could be the outcome of this helplessness in longer term?
Will we, the men, ever get a fair judgement?


I know, these questions will remain un-anserwed, but believe, someday, they will eventually burst out.

Dude,

 

There is no question which does not have any answer.  There is an answer to each question.

There are many people who have sufferred more than you and are still going throug hell, why?

Just because of the decisions taken.

People blame it on people, cirumstances, fate, luck, God, etc etc etc, but that is a wrong thing to do.

 

What is happening in your life is entirely because of the decision you have taken.

 

Your life, whether it is good or bad or ugly or bitter is like that only due to the only fact that you did not take the right decision at the right time.

With regard to marriage, it is a unpaying job, no salary job it is, one has to give a 100% to it and also ask a 100% back from the spouse, only then marriage is a success, you cannot simply keep giving 100% to the marriage and keep quiet when you are not rcving anything, if you are not getting 100% back then YOU NEED TO ASK FOR IT, saying, I am giving my best shot, why dont you give me your 100%?  People do the toughest of jobs, give their 100% and get paid nicely, if so there, why cant it work for marriage?

 

What has happened, cannot be changed now.  No point worrying about past, you live in this world maxx 60-70 years, and life has to be lived before you turn 55, within that only life, after that nobody asks, nobody cares.

 

So when you have it in your hands, live it, dont make the same mistake, take responsibility for your actions, your words, your deeds, and dont ever blame anybody for what has happened in your life, your  sole are responsible for what has happnened with you.

Always think and take a step, ahead.  Take the right decisions, see your life go the right way.


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Manager

Just few thoughts to add.......

By Yajnavalkya

'Not for the sake of husband, is the husband dear, but for one’s own sake he is dear; not for the sake of wife, is the wife dear, but for one’s own sake she is dear; not for the sake of sons, are sons dear, but for one’s own sake they are dear; not for the sake of wealth, is wealth dear, but for one’s own sake it is dear;

http://www.hindupedia.com/en/Yajnavalkya

I hear lot of real life incidents every day, where the Men said after going through the suffering they say no to second marriage. They help people, friends and families, they are good people too when the Parents suggest to get married again.

They say NO, he is so much fed up with marital life. He wants to live alone.

Also I have seen cases where the First marriage didn't work and he married once again and leading a good life and blessed with Children.

If you take extreme cases where people of dying they suffer most, there are kids who died due to man holes, Parents died in accidents leaving Kids alone, Soliders fighting in borders to protect the country leaving behind families.so on......

Past is a History, future is a mystery and Present is what we can utilize...

Wish You Good Luck...

 


Total likes : 2 times

 
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Hi Read your thoughts and felt very sad... Life throws a lot of rubbish at you but how you react makes or breaks you... I am a female, gone through a lot in my life and have seen things sitting at your side of the fence in my parental house... helpless to do anything about the situation... All I can say is have the faith and the strength to move on... I hope some day we wake up to a just world...and maybe we need to help build one... God bless!
 
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Asst Manager

@ Sonia Madam, thanks for your kind wishes.. Yes, I'm moving on. But with a heavy heart. Which I never intended to. Have not broken down till now.... but yes I learned a lesson..!

 
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