Hello to all Readers and members...!
Hope you all are doing well.
To give a brief of myself, I would call myself a "half-married-abused-insulted-thrown out by wife”, who’s martial life lasted less than 6 months and fighting a false case is clocking a year now. I like you all to give a thought of what is a role of a husband in "Indian Society". Many of the readers might think my writings are irrelevant, but, to people like me (which are more in this forum) will hopefully make a lots of sense. A Husband has many roles to play, needs to wear many masks, A lover, A seducer, Full of Responsibility, Head of the family (for some cases), A Earner, A protector, A Fighter, A guide, A mentor, A Teacher, A Charmer, A logically balanced Human being. Right? But what happens when he goes through a Divorce, against his will & wish? What does he feel? What pains he goes through? Additionally, when he gets plotted by his most loveable wife and in-laws about false charges and cases and runs around advocates and police and other judicial system just to prove his innocence? Have any-one gave a thought to it? Have, even the wife who had put his husband in such a misery, have even gave a thought to it? I’m quite sure, the answer is “No”. In reality no-one give a damn about the Husband.
It says “Mard ko kavi dard nehi hota” and even, one of our premium actress makes a TV campaign, “Ladke rulate nehi” . Good..! We are being so much of feminist & there is nothing wrong in it. We should be feminist. We must cover/protect/take-care of our Mother, Wife, Sister, and everyone. But what happens, these men gets attacked, abused, insulted, wrongly framed, and sometimes even wrongly judged? Crying in open is very easy, but ask a man who cries & crave to have his own family everyday every moment. Have any-one of us ever given a thought to that silent cry of that man? Have any-one of us ever given a thought to the condition he is going through when he is facing all these? Have any-one of us ever thought of the Husband’s family who had been brutally insulted in an open forum. Again the answer is “No” & I’m sure of it.
Look friends, I’m not saying here all women are wrong and all men are right. But, it is high time now, that the society we live in, must change views about men, a bit. After, facing the false charges, I got to see, no-one is bothered to see/hear a condition of a man at all. Everyone is very much interested to hear about the woman and unfortunately starts believing them even before hearing the other side of the story. Now the question is, how far this will go? How much we will cry? How much we will mourn? Will there be any ending? I’m still searching for this answer.
Let’s analyse a man’s life, after marriage.
- A full on responsible person – He is probably the only earner of his family, needs to have secured job or business to support his family which might consist of Parents, Wife, may be kid/kids, needs to plan kids future.
- • A full on lover – already married, hence, must be in-love with his wife and probably have a kid out of his love & wedlock. Needs to understand the most mysterious mind of his wife, fulfils her needs & wants, satisfy her mentally and physically
- • A full on Planner – must foresee the future of his family and save & protect from any mis-happenings, building enough corpus for his future and & provide all kind of safeguards to his family for any unforeseen unfortunate incidents
- • A full on Father & guide – to his kid/kids, have love & affection, being a guide & a mentor always, a role-model for the kid, setting an example for the kid, provide protection. • A full on Worker – In order to fulfil all the previous need of his life, he needs to earn well. Hence, a dedicated worker.
Now, let’s analyse a man’s life, after marriage – during divorce.
- • A full on responsible person – Being the only earner of the family, he must manage his funds, and also arrange alimony. Give bribe to Police, pay fees to advocates, takes rounds to courts, visit counsellors.
- • A full on Lover – Gone case, whom to love, the lady he loved, filed a case, whom to love and satisfy?, His own satisfaction has gone for a toss. Mentally & physically & every other way.
- • A Full on Planner – all plans failed, he now, has to break the FDs which meant for his kids education or marriage, might have to sell out properties which he acquired.
- • A full on Father & guide – of course, he is, he fights for his custody rights, he fights for visitation rights.
- • A full on worker – again, to fulfil all the previous points, he must have a secured job & sometimes, his wife make such miserable life for him, he loose his jobs or ends up mortgaging his businesses too.
Now, Readers, experts and friends here, pls analyse yourself, what is happening? Your suggestions are welcome & criticisms too. I’m not a lawyer, neither a counsellor, but seeing this condition, I’m sure, very soon, the institutions of marriage will be over & out of many of men’s mind. As far as I’m concerned, I’m rather more scared to marriage than death.
