is divorce inevitable in my case ?


Almost four years back, my husband abandoned me and my daughter. We had been married for 15 years at that time and ours is a love marriage. Before leaving home, he had been trying to convince me for MUTUAL DIVORCE. When I did not agree, he left and started sending me legal notices to agree for a MUTUAL DIVORCE.

Fed up of his threats, I filed for RCR. He retaliated with a DIVORCE PETITION from court. The case has been going on for more than 3 years now, with both of us going in opposite directions. Family intervention, counselling sessions by court, psychiatric help.....everything has failed. He is hell bent for a divorce and has broken all contacts with me and my daughter who is now a teenager. I am on the other hand, firm that I want my marriage to survive at any cost. I have not filed any other case on him or his family members.  All his relatives are till date in good terms with me. His parents who were earlier in my favour, are now fed up of convincing their son to come back and they too now feel that DIVORCE is the only option to put an end to this court issue .

I requested my learned legal friends to guide me. I still love him and will whole-heartedly welcome him if he comes back. I heard he is having an affair, but I am not keen to disclose this part in court....just for the sake of keeping the relationship alive. Lawyers and judges have began losing interest in the case, as both of us are going in opposite directions - one wants to break the relationship anyhow and the other wants to keep it alive. Actual hearings on both cases have not yet started.

People are telling me that in such a case, divorce is bound to happen, sooner or later. I just wanted to know if this is correct. I have all proofs in place, to prove that the demand for divorce is unjustified. I even know that even if I win the case, the judge cannot force him to join me. That is still fine with me, so long as I remain his legal wife life-long. 

I am living in hopes that some day he will realize his mistake and come back. I am hoping that the divorce case might get dismissed. Is there any such possibility, or is DIVORCE the only outcome in this case ? Is it true that the end result will be just one  - DIVORCE and nothing else.


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Relationship is a two way journey...if he don't want to live with u then why r u wasting ur time for him. If u win case and he comes back then also there is no benefit of dead relationship..take divorce and re-marry, if u wish.enjoy ur life with someone who really loves u and take care of your child as well.

legal advisor

even if you get rcr in your favour the court cant force him to join its waste of time and energy.instead go for mutual divorce to end this relationship as i think its way too far to mend the relationship and continue to lead a matrimonial life as your husband is hell bent in getting divorce


Thank you Mr. Pankaj, Ms. Renuka and Mr. Saravanan, for taking time out to read and promptly give me advice in this matter.

My decision about waiting for him life-long is a firm one. There was a time he was madly in love with me and I know that he will surely come back to me some day. That is the reason I am going through all this ordeal and not putting a legal end to the relationship through MUTUAL CONSENT DIVORCE.

But my query is - What can the judge decide in such a case ? Since we both are going on different paths, will the judge eventually get fed up and declare a DIVORCE ? Some people are telling me that this is the only end result. But I have seen divorce cases going on for 14 and 17 years, when one party does not agree for divorce. I am prepared to wait that long. 

But my fear again - People say that the judge HAS NO OPTION but to declare divorce in the end. Is this true ?

practicing advocate

I agree with Pankaj


I sympathies UR ordeal in comming to terms of breaking ties with a person who has deserted not only U but also his daughter for 4 long years. One wants to break the marriage and the other wants it to remain intact for the rest of the life. U have nowhere mentioned the reasons for the differences or for his adamant attitude. As according to U all the available resources have been exhausted to make him realise or to bring a change in him.Then how do U expect him to reunite in marital life? Only in exceptional cases the judicial procedure may be dragged for 10 or 15 yrs,but ultimately the decision of the court will be delivered at some point of time.Neither of U can start a new life till the case is disposed off. UR daughter's future is also at stake. Is he paying for his daughter's maintenance? U are the one who has to opt for a wise decision.Further legal matters UR destiny will decide for the final outcome and also the wisdom of UR lawyer.
Advocate & Solicitor at Law

I shall address only the legal aspect of your doubts . As such the petition for divorce is not bound to succeed . He shall have to substantiate his grounds with proper evidence and witnesses . Those who are telling you that divorce is eventually inevitable are saying so as in most cases the parties end up settling the matter and seek mutual divorce . However in your case since you do not wish to have a mutual settlement with him wrt divorce the question of that happening does not arise . Hence do not worry . It is not as if divorce is inevitable. He shall have to prove his case just like you shall have to prove yours .

Pooja, read your post and all replies.


Here is my bit. Take it or leave it, choice is yours.


You are 100 percent right in what you are doing.


You are far-sighted in thinking about your daughter. Tomorrow when your daughter attains marriageable age, in today's society in India, where financial strength is high but morality as a strength in society, is dipping day after day, a girl living with her divorced mom would find it difficult to get a husband with a good family back-ground.


Even the slightest discord in marital life, the accusatory fingers would point at you and say

" Your mom was this. your dad divorced her. You are no different. Like Mom like daughter. So, divorce is the ultimate result ".


This is just one dialogue that would issue. There are ONE THOUSAND AND ONE implications involved for a divorced woman and a mother at that and that too mother of a girl-child.


Ok, now for the other part.


Your faith - He might come back one day.


Yes, that usually happens all over the world.


Especially when your mind keeps thinking of him, the power of thoughts is so strong that it goes beyond the power of law.

One day, if your faith is strong and your love for him is strong enough, then he would return one day.


But, if you have revenge in mind and decide to keep him hooked, in such a smart way that he is neither able to stay nor leave, then it will back-fire and he will not only be lost forever to you, but you might have serious psychological repurcussions/ scars that would take you more than a life-time to heal, since you would be acting too smart with the law of nature and nobody whosoever has won their fight against the law of nature.

But going by your post and believing your words, I must say that if India got independence with the faith of it's people, your faith will fetch you victory.


Faith can move mountains and I have seen many such cases.


Yes, you have to realize that he may come to you with another woman as his second and unofficial wife and that baggage, but if you are fine with that, then, yes, one day, he would be with you.




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