Cancellation of marriage after engagement
Sri
(Querist) 21 November 2014
This query is : Resolved
Dear all,
I am seeking estemmed lawyers advice on a major problem of my life. I can call this as worst phase of my life. Below are sequence of events.
- I had engagement with a girl (small function with 150 people). The engagement expenses was shared by two parties - bride and groom parents. We also gifted the girl with gold.
- I received messages about girl from social networking site. We initially discussed about this matter with bride parents/elders. Filed complaint at police station. Now police offical has told us that they will not take further action until the girl file a FIR. We have been calling the bride parents for about a month now and they are reluctant to step up and sort it out.
Now, we want to cancel the marriage. We discussed this with elders to convey our message. The bride parents are not answering us and also reluctant to have a discussion with us/elders. They are threatening us saying they will file dowry harassment case and want to go legally
I am seeking the advice from the respected and experienced lawyers on our next steps (if we want to go legally).
Note: I have modified few key words as we entered to next stage.
Thank You.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 21 November 2014
Marriage engagement/betrothal has not legal forced ot standing in India and any of the parties can cancel it.
Only civil action lies out of cancellation of engagement by way of suit for damages if wither of the party feels he/she suffered social or financial loss out of this.
Guest
(Expert) 21 November 2014
Why a court case for cancellation of marriage. A marriage is a matter of mutual faith & trust. When faith & trust is shaken there is no use of such marriage that can become troublesome for the whole of life of not only the boy and girl, but also both of their families.
Any allegation of demand of dowry, may be false, becomes troublesome for the family of the boy until proved wrong in the court of law. If the constable brother of the girl can threaten now on the allegation of dowry even before marriage, what he cannot do after marriage is a question to be taken care of.
So, better take help of some respectable impartial persons, but non-relatives, to mediate and contact the girl's parents to discuss the issues or send some cautiously worded letter for intention to cancel engagement making a mention of threats of the brother and get the marriage cancelled to close the chapter once for all.
Sri
(Querist) 21 November 2014
Hi PS Dhingra Sir,
Thanks for your response.
We (my family) never want to go with court for cancellation of marriage ever. We always want to close this with discussion but the bride parents, her elder brother are reluctant to do it.
Once again thanks for your inputs Sir, we will try to reach impartial persons (non-relatives) and close this matter.
Thank You !
Guest
(Expert) 21 November 2014
You are welcome.
ajay sethi
(Expert) 21 November 2014
well advised by experts
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 21 November 2014
While agree with with Mr Dhingra I will add that after reading the whole account it is you who seems to be wrong almost on and counts and inviting trouble for you.
ABDUL RAZIQUE
(Expert) 21 November 2014
I respect words of Dhingra Sir, but the evil person have no faith on truth of fact, he or she only look upon aim and for gain, can do any thing out of imagine. SO MY advice is
for self protection file a complain letter against OP and send her advocate letter after discussion with family.
Sri
(Querist) 21 November 2014
Hi Sudhir Kumar Sir,
Thanks for your response.
I/our family have no intentions to blame the girl/her family. When a person keep on receiving messages abour his/her fiancee character or past, those things will spin on anyone's mind.
In my case, it's the bride's family who asked us to file a compliant regarding the facebook messages. Now they are not supporting us even on this matter.
All I want to make sure the things to be fixed. And at same time I'm glad these things came up now, my/our life would have been horrible (might go to divorce) if the same issue would have happened after our marriage.
Now the bride parents are not ok to support us on the Facebook complaint nor they are ready to sit with elders to come to a conclusion - marriage or cancellation. They just want to drag the issue further to degrade/harass us.
I have no intention to support myself or argue with you. You are experienced lawyer who has seen 'n' number of cases like these. I respect your opinion.
All I'm worried is what the mistake I/our family has made here. Is asking the bride parents to fix the issue is wrong. I feel our govt is more biased to female gender because of which the bride parents have the right to file false allegations (dowry) anytime. That's one thing has to be changed.
Thank You.
Sri
(Querist) 21 November 2014
Thanks for your inputs Abdul sir. In extreme case we will go for self protection by filing a complain letter against OP and send her advocate letter after discussion with family.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 22 November 2014
"All I'm worried is what the mistake I/our family has made here. Is asking the bride parents to fix the issue is wrong. I feel our govt is more biased to female gender because of which the bride parents have the right to file false allegations (dowry) anytime. That's one thing has to be changed."
This forum has no mandate to recommend change of law. You came here for a problem and you have been told the solution.
I believe you have not carefully read and understood what Mr Dhingra has advised. I borrow and reiterate his words :-
"Any allegation of demand of dowry, may be false, becomes troublesome for the family of the boy until proved wrong in the court of law. If the constable brother of the girl can threaten now on the allegation of dowry even before marriage, what he cannot do after marriage is a question to be taken care of.
So, better take help of some respectable impartial persons, but non-relatives, to mediate and contact the girl's parents to discuss the issues or send some cautiously worded letter for intention to cancel engagement making a mention of threats of the brother and get the marriage cancelled to close the chapter once for all."
Sri
(Querist) 22 November 2014
To Sudhir Kumar,
I respect your/Mr Dhingra sir inputs. We will go according to your advice to try again (which we were doing past 1 month) involving impartial persons and close the matter. If that doesn't work we will send a cautiously worded letter on intention to cancel engagement (with everything listed on it).
Thanks again for your valuable inputs.
Note: May be I have expressed my feelings a lot about law here. I take that back. I'm here for suggestions/advice and I got that from experienced lawyers. Thanks to all who responded to my query.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 22 November 2014
better convey lesson to all you meet that one can life without facebook. One cannot live with the misery it costs.
Advocate Ravinder
(Expert) 22 November 2014
I completely agree with all the experts especially Dhingra Sir.
After going through your episode I come to understand that since there is fault on their part, they are not coming forward to settle the issue. It is crystal clear that if they come forward and the bride gives a complaint before the Police, the secret will be revealed and the matter will be known to the near and dear and the whole society. Thus, it not only damages the present betrothal but also tarnish the image of the girl. Hence, they are not coming forward. My advise is better close the issue of marrying her and be ready to defend the cases, if any filed by the girl side. It is better to give a legal notice which will be useful when she filed a case against you. Since you are local, you can contact me personally or through phone. I will advise you in detail. My cell No. 7893011777 ravinder2345@gmail.com. I stay near L.B.Nagar, Hyderabad.
Guest
(Expert) 22 November 2014
Dear Abdul Razique,
Thanks for your appreciation.
Guest
(Expert) 22 November 2014
Dear Ravinder,
Thanks for agreeing with my views.
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 23 November 2014
I agree to the views of experts, nothing more to add.
RAJU O.F.,
(Expert) 23 November 2014
Since the marriage is not solemnised, you need not worry. But better consult an advocate who is expert in family laws
Guest
(Expert) 23 November 2014
Though your statements says as if you are genuine Remember Kakinada is almost a Village where every family would know each other well.After the engagement if you want to stop the marriage with out valid reasons the girl's family would certainly suffer with shame and embarassment unlike cities.Sort out the Issue Morally with out hiding the Facts.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 24 November 2014
I am not able to agree with the idea that no need to worry because marriage has not taken place.
I fully agree with Mr NJS Rajkumar alias narasimha.
In this country there are many towns which despite being Distt HQ are practically villages.
If you provoke them by humiliation then they will certainly be prompted to ruin you. If they file dowry demand allegation on your entire family (may be false) you family will have permanent stigma even if you all are acquitted [or able to get quash / speedy trial and what not advised on this forum]. But this action will certainly wipe out the humiliation from the face or girl family atleast temporarily. They just need a temporary respite from humiliation you will cause.
Many persons have been accused of dowry demand (rightly or wrongly) before marriage alleging that the engagement is being called off due to insufficient dowry.
You need not compel the girl side to do so.
You have already taken congnizance of facebook bakwas. You have directly questioned the girl. Howsoever polite you may be but in a small town (as described by Mr Rajkumar) it is improper behaviour and her brother does not lose right to demand decency (as per local conditions) even if he is police constable.
He had been decent as per local customs and did not question you directly.
Now you have traced the origin of the slander but the parents of girl in small town are not under any obligation to take action against the person. Your demand for this is not at all justified and their reluctance to take action does not mean that allegations are true.
They have all the reasons to fear that even if they act as advised (rather compelled) by you then you may be coming with another reason to call off the engagement.
If they agree to the demand then you may receive another face book allegation and then you may trace out the origin from Gujarat and another from Punjab and yet another from Germany. That simply does not mean that they can be compelled by you to taken action against each violator.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 24 November 2014
SO when I advised you to read carefully the advise of Mr Dhingra, my advise was not without a reason.
Sri
(Querist) 24 November 2014
Thanks Sudhir Kumar for your inputs. We are in-process of resolving the issue with imparital persons (as suggested by Mr Dhingra Sir)
Thanks to all who responded to my query.
Guest
(Expert) 24 November 2014
Dear Sri,
Thanks for your appreciation in accepting my suggestion.
c.p.s. ramachary
(Expert) 25 November 2014
Hindu marriage is sacramentum. There cannot be agreemen for performance or cancellation of marrige. No specific relief also can be sought for from any court of law. When the girl has such back ground leave the matter here itself and try another match instead of making mockery of the matter.
Sri
(Querist) 25 November 2014
Hello all,
Update as of 11/23/2014:
As suggested, our elders/impartial persons met girl's family and had a discussion to cancel the marriage. Now, the girl parents informed us before elders/impartial persons to figure out the social networking issue and asked us to find out the guy who sent messages about their daughter(they don't want to support us on this issue). Until then they don't want to commit anything - annulment of marriage or court case or want to get their daughter married to me (their intentions are not clear yet). In addition, they threatened us again on consequences of filing dowry harassment case.
Now, we have no option left apart from finding the guy who sent the messages via social networking site which we can't do without their support. We will try to do our best what we can with assistance from police officials. Even, if we sort it out (if the outcome is either way) we are not sure what their response will be - they might again say dowry harassment case or demand/request marriage proposal again.
Please let me know inputs.
Fingers crossed. Will keep you posted. Thanks again.
Guest
(Expert) 25 November 2014
First of all, you should not have believed any anonymous message received through social website. Mere an anonymous message should not have been the cause of cancellation of marriage. You could have asked the sender to prove the allegation. The sender of the message should have the courage to come forward to prove the allegation by face to face meeting. So, there was no reason for you to believe in rumour of any unknown person sent through social website.
Secondly, you should not have discussed the matter with bride's parents without verification of the facts on detection of that person through social site, itself.
Thirdly, even now you have not stated what was the source of receipt of message and with some name or not, i.e., whether through email at your own email ID or at your social network account with some name. So, how you can expect the experts to suggest you the course of action to be taken by you?
By the way what is the specific allegation against the girl on account of which you want to cancel the marriage. There must be substantial evidence against the girl if you want to cancel of marriage. Otherwise that can bounce back on you, if the girl's side decides to initiate drastic action against you.
You should know that cancellation of marriage sometimes cause very fatal effect on the girl's family, while the girl is doomed for the whole life, irrespective of whether the allegation is false or true.
So, you should be quite cautious to think for cancellation of marriage, if you don't have sufficient proof against the girl.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 25 November 2014
Agreeing with Mr Dhingra I would add that why it should not be believed (even if allegation is false) that you did not feel like being given the demanded dowry and instead of straight cancellation, you created the message and yourself claimed that you got the origin traced and now compelling the girl side (though not bound to ) to take action against some unknown person or else you will cancel marriage knowing well that in small town like Kakinada you can make their life hell by doing so.
T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
(Expert) 23 November 2014
