Negotiable Instruments: Exhaustive Coverage by Adv Roma Bhagat. Register Now!
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sanjeev pawar (service)     23 April 2012

What should be first move divorce petition from hbd or 498a

dear members,kindly advice,  i am expecting a 498a or a DV act anytime from my wife, i also intend to file for a divorce petition on grounds of cruelty, i havent made the first move yet, hence what would be the ideal move, wait for the wife to take first step, or me filing a divorce petition?


 33 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     24 April 2012

@ Author,

The very first move from your side shall be to invest into / engage a Advocate and discuss in Chamber all your marital life issues to get proper legal remedies.

Law from her first movers side will work on ‘facts’ and ‘evidences’ based on you two’s marital story till date. ‘Right to sue’ is universal right given to both of you and now who shall make the first move and or dwell into armory of defense or offence position is all matter cometh from Chamber discussions as lots of chapter of you twos’ marital Ramayana needs attentive ears and summarily they cannot be packaged into best available relief Syrup.

2 Like

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/     24 April 2012

check you PM

vijay (M)     25 April 2012

I don't know what was in your PM but some learned members of this forum have privately advised to file fro divorce first

ABHISHEK B (Bekaaar)     25 April 2012

it actually doesn't matters...both cases are seperate and go on there merit.

Both have there own pros and cons.

What if wife accepts the divorce and husband is hunged with a 498 for life ?

vijay (M)     25 April 2012

In that case, at least you get a divorce.  498 will be there whether u get a divorce or not.  it is not in your hands.

1 Like

supabcdefgh (teacher)     02 May 2012

Suppose you are punished for 498a for 3 years. You violence was always by her instigation. Now if you ask court for divorce on the ground of 498a, saying 

"Look when I come back from 498a, 3 years in jail, nothing will change, my wife will again and again trap me in 498a, knowing well that woman cannot be punished, hence please grant me divorce and make me a free man when I come out of jail"

Will this be a good enough reason for divorce? 3 years seperation  was already implemented as husband was in jail? Will that be considered as seperation?

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     02 May 2012

1. A rather un-conventional thinking cap plea before us.
. The answer is NO if you file for divorce and ask for your freedom ! Rather, it will be your wife’s plea to seek her freedom from you (only if she is shown this vision and only if she avails for it the moment you are convicted not postomusly) and not yours to seek if you file for divorce only on this plea is my view.
Three years jail to be treated as ‘seperation’ is persuasive plea and depends who handling your case then. I am getting slowly aware that you are better than the greatest Jurist we have but then who can decode your wisdom among us with your rapid fire theoratical and non-practical questions here !!! By your lack of legal knowledge yet climing to know all in law with these kind of pleas, all a spouse has to do is to go to Himalayas and start a eco resort (earn and spend as a spouse wishes yet aleniate from marital world from other living spouse and then come back to Jurisdiction Court and pile on Judge to treat it as 'seperation'.  How smart / convenient it would then be to follow by all harassed spouse here think proportionately on such super bald pleas too :-) In Law there are kept checks and balances remember that and had it not been installed  spouses would not have reason to 'seperate' on some or the other vexatious pleas and make society barren.

believe me 3 years assumed conviction while doing public discussion looks not that bad a die hard scenario but in actual even 1 day conviction robs a persons ‘freedom guaranteed by Constitution of India’. Reality and public discussion are bi-polars.

Put again your best practical and not theoritical thinking cap and decide which is more important for you? You like challenges so here is one; Test your self assumed limits by simply visiting Tihar Jail as visitor for an hour leave aside Einstenian logics for the moment. I bet you will then swear experiencing how much pain in back it is to even get a ENTRY PASS leave aside spending 3 years inside under RI and not SI which is what S. 498a IPC conviction says and is all about :-)

1 Like

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     02 May 2012

@supabcdedfgh: :) After coming out from jail spending 3 years, if you go to meet mistress instead of meeting your wife, she can again file S.498A.  I suggest you to work for bringing awareness about "compelling a husband to desert by way of forcing him to spend time in Jail for 3 years punishment under S.498A" as a ground for divorce.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     02 May 2012

Seriously speaking, without knowing who is a victim and who is offender, no one can know whether the complainant is claiming relief or expressing cruelty or indulging in acts of exploitation through legal proceedings.  It is a mistake to think that whosoever approaches police first and lodge complaint is innocent and victimized and hence prosecution shall stand on behalf of such complainant. Most of the travesty of justice takes place there itself.  The presumption of law that every complainant is a victim and every accused is an offender only helps the cause of criminals rather than that of victims because it is always the exploiters who have better access to criminal justice system in our country.  There shall be some scientific method to arrive at who is offender and who is victim at complaint stage itself so that prosecution do not stand on the wrong side of fence.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     02 May 2012



I had asked a simple question, yet you have not answered. I never thought you will reply to me. I thought you promised not to. Thanks any way. This reply was little easier to understand, let me summerize:

My request is unconventional -  anything wrong?

If I ask divorce: I will not get? No. Fine then I will possibly start a hunger strike to give me a solution against obvious ruins.

Your other point is very difficult for me to understand. I know very well that a married man, who has got a child and 2o years in marriage would never get divorce. I asked a different question: If I am accused of 498a, will I get divorce after that?  Possibly your answer is NO.  Great.

depends who handling your case then :  you mean which judge? About lawyer, I will fight my own case.

Well, I am sincerely asking question, can you accuse me of incoherency?

Sorry sir, I have not gone to Jail voluntarily. And even if the husband has left for long voluntarily, what was wife doing staying out of his life? Nothing in life is black and white. The law requires physical separation. Co-habitation without s*x is not acceptable. And when I move out, you accuse me of voluntary separation?  Strange.

Society Baren :  Nice words. Women are child bearers. Possibly that is why they are so well protected. She can slap me, even in public. No problem. But if I slap: 498a.  Great law, essential to keep society safe: but against whom? As per law, I have to follow law, but nothing stops me in criticizing the law I guess even in the court, if presented in a honorable way.

You like challenges so here is one:  I accept.

Test your self assumed limits by simply visiting Tihar Jail as visitor for an hour : I will give you worse case:

Arrange for me to be in Tihar jail for 1 week/month on experimental basis. This should be known to law as experiment. I should not be branded as a convict or loose my job. No fees to you.

I will take it as Vipasana. Look how I will change the world and convert that to an opportunity of life time and come out richer, mentally and monetarily. In case I come out richer monetarily, I will give you a percentage of my profit (not gross).

supabcdefgh (teacher)     02 May 2012

@supabcdedfgh: :) After coming out from jail spending 3 years, if you go to meet mistress instead of meeting your wife, she can again file S.498A.  I suggest you to work for bringing awareness about "compelling a husband to desert by way of forcing him to spend time in Jail for 3 years punishment under S.498A" as a ground for divorce.


Chandrashekhar, why are you talking of unnecessary things? have you not heard of any convict in Nepal getting married?   Suggestion is fine.  Thx .  But when asked about law : Answer directly.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     02 May 2012

I am not stating I will loose the 498a. I am studing two points ADHD and Insanity rule. Both very well scientifically supports me. How I have changed after counselling, the efforts I have taken to revive the marriage is ample in proof. Intention is one : I am crying " Help", so if my wife. Ufortunately, no one can help those who doesnot want help.

You can ask me why I am so much bothered about law:  Because even in my dream, I could not believe Law to be so Blind and Biased against man and for women. So better know the law and act accordingly. Very soon, i will be writing a book,  explaining the following

  1. Why touch me not should not be used by women even for normal people. This happens in various stages of life, like after child birth, etc.
  2. Like women should understand and help, man also needs to know these conditions. Knowledge helps.
  3. Child care techniques : various women have take my advice on child care and called back to thank me.  (eg. put of diapher at night, 3 hours sleep will be gurantee. after 3 hours, our sleep becomes light for feeding babies and we can go back to sleep fast, and various other tips ranging on how to feed, etc/)
  4. Obviously on ADHD.
  5. last but not the least the LAW itself. 498a/and all other clause should be know to all man before marriage.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     02 May 2012

“I had asked a simple question, yet you have not answered
Ask politely here and not as your servant!

1. On Hunger strike
 I will give you worse case rebutal Mr.
Launch a hunger strike at Jantar Mantar and let us know your experience even to get "permission to sit there on hunger strike" and secondly do let us know your experience on arranging mats to pandal and other necessary items for "hunger strike" there and do not forget to narrate your experience on getting the permission from 6 red tape channels one passes through for cause title. Accept the challenge now instead of rambling endlessly on same topic.
It is high time someone tells you that you are not what you claim to be.

2. On Insanity defense
Probably the most controversial of all criminal defense strategies, the insanity defense is also, ironically, one of the least used world over. Moreover its usage by a P-I-P will not be granted under Criminal Law hence there goes for a toss your super – scientific studies and it will remain ‘theoretical’.

3. On Tihar Jail
Glad you accepted the challenge. Now scan in actual size IITD Official Letter Head for me to write on it ‘recommendation” to allow you to visit Tihar Jail for 7 days and nights. I will after printing / signing / stamping recommendation in it will re-scan n upload here for you to take its printout to Supdt. Office, Tihar Jail and get appropriate Pass accordingly. {do mention your full name + age + s*x + official address with cellphone no. + annex photo ID card} all public view documents no PM’s on this challenge. Let us now see who "chickens out" on this task.

4. On Vipasana
– Well why go all the way to Tihar Jail for it (seems you read Kiran Bedi’s autobiography little too many times) when I can refer you to an renowned institution at Qutab Institutional Area itself which is right behind yours truly IIT Delhi for ‘vipasana’. You see advise here are for free and you keep your 'gross' revenue calculations to yourself Mr. nobody askign fees here for free advise. I think you forgot some nearest places in your homework on s*x and s*x and again s*x cause title.

5. On Fees
Keep the change with you Mr. here advises are free. Lucky we never met otherwise your pocket would have been lighter on our very first meeting.

6. On book writing
Why wait till very soon for it. I am sure with your super explanation in your other post on 50% times 100% compatibility of normal vs. extra ordinary abilities that you poses you can read last 500 messages on S. 498a IPC and or matrimonial laws under discussion with real queriest names herein in flat half a day and there pops a dhara mei bhawar tile kinda book tomorrow for our consumption thy named ‘real efforts of a ADHD gentlemen among us”.  You have @ Amit…..from Shantanu Publication @ Pune among us here if you are now worried about finding a publisher for your matrimonial law thesis. I assure you minimum 4000 advance copy order at 60% discount rates for Men’s Rights activist subscripttion base distribution which I am part of.

See I answered all your ‘simple” questions why you still complaining to me.

Simply tell you what
a harsh reality – you are worried about S. 498a IPC and finding it difficult to digest it which is normal and just accept that you are normal person too instead of elasticizing utopian Aladdin’s legal parameters limits now that you are well advised by almost everyone here. Or as a self help seek appointment of Mr. Jstc. Markandey Katju who is now Chairman of PTI (means now a public figure) and I am sure he will give you best piece of marital advise ever you reeive. Now donot throw this challenge upon me as I am still struggling to understand his autographed books on Mimansa Rules of Interpretations.

supabcdefgh (teacher)     02 May 2012

On Tihar Jail :  tajosIndia,

 Please tell me your postal address: I will post you the documents as required.