If second replier to your post’s reply is put on test then it also means in recent marriages, 50% wife’s have BPD and rest 50% are Bipolar!
Be it so as concluded, here are legal takes for maintaining status quo;
1. In a high tech city like Bangalore, the boy expects the girl to comply all the rituals as done in village.
Take: It suggest the boy - family are orthodox religious minded people living in a urban city yet following customs - traditions - rituals which today urban people feel shy to follow. Your sister is urban breed thus she feels left out not able to follow customs - traditions - rituals why blame boy – his family?
2. She has to change her attire, every now and then for doing kitchen works and then coming out of washrooms.
Take: A working wife is supposed to change dress; night dress changes into work dress when she goes to work at a reputed school and when she comes back from work changes into formals. is it not even what you do if you juggle work and home? How boy - his family is made responsible on her three times dress changes?
3. There is always a demand for talking to the in lawas at least 3 times a day failure to which ...big issues were created.
Take: It is called communication in a joint family. She can talk to family after walkign up till breakfast before leaving for school work - job, she can easily communicate to family after coming back from work and so she can even communicate while cooking (helping) family dinner that accounts for 3 times talk as complained by her to you. I donot see big deal in such communication. Even if you are working for a job you might be talking accordingly to your family members including your wife who is from another family, donot you?
4. The quarrel turns worse and the groom party often indulges in conveying false allegation to our relatives to make them against us. When confronted for the same...they firmly denies. this did not happen single time but quite a number of times in this few periods.
Take: Why snoop and check with your relatives who are in Bangalore for every things - issues that are happening in her marital home? Leave her alone she is grown up not baby that she needs to be checked up by her relatives in same city for your feedback who is living 4000 Kms. away. Small issue becomes BIG like mountain when passed on word of mouth by a third person whose interest is somewhere else. You believe your relatives but call boy - his family demons how come?
5. We have tried to make the couple understand...even given them the freedom to led their own life...but such things when heard could not be kept unanswered.
Take: Why poke - mentor newly weds with your wisdom every time, they are not kids not your sister is a minor. Why try hearing as in hourly report every time from relatives in Bangalore as how your sister - her husband - his family is doing to your sister? If you are so concerned seek divorce for her and get her re-married to some other boy who is living opposite to your flat or may be who willingly stays back in your home post her re-marriage that way you may leave her in peace.
6. The boy even at such times does not give her the money to buy the daily needs, which she purchases on regular basis...as he doesn't have the time often.
Take: Is she not earning a income working in a reputed school in top notch city? Or all her income is grabbed by him - his family the moment it is credited into your sister's account? You say boy does not have time so is the reason of not giving money but that also means this is not a fit marriage where a boy and girl cannot have time for 5 minutes to open purse and give/take money for household expenses so what cohabitation as husband - wife they are doing, check this from relatives :-)
7. We know, this is a lifetime relation...but adjustment is highly required...the boy gets too adament at times insisting to talk only with in laws and avoid parents completely..
Take: If he living with his parents it is obvious he will talk with them more often compared to your sister's parents. Why domesticate a son in Law or why expect him to be a lap dog in guise of 'adjustments' only from him?
8. Even though the boy knows that the leave of School is little ...he books ticket well 15 days in advance before the actual holiday begins.
Take: Donot you book travel tickets in advance when going on holidays? What is this un-reasonable complaint you are bringing to forums knowledge. With advance booking travel tickets chances of confirmation is there in case you donot know even such travel basics. If air tickets are bought much in advance one gets discount whereas school diary contains year full of HOLIDAY dates so accordingly the boy - your sister's husband is atleast making plans for holidays in advance why control even such holidays? To find peace for your sister please next time send tickets to them when 'actual holiday begins'.
9. On days of quarrel...he comes home taking food from outside...while many a times due to lack of food materials on such days she slept without food. We provide her the money when learned.
Take: He brings food from outside because he guesses rightly that your sister will not cook food or due to quarrel she may not like food cooked by her mother in law and least one sleeps empty stomach he shows in advance such concerns. Your statement also shows that mostly the quarrel happens in the morning so evening when he comes back from work he brings outside food thinking what is observed before. Your sister is expressing sheer melodrama nothing else in her marital life. You should not give money at all as if for eg. tomorrow morning they quarrel and as usual since you snoop everyday upon her daily life, from local relatives of yours you come to know of their quarrel and via same local relatives you send money for food for one person or two persons or for their whole family clarify that too for forums knowledge when you say you send money? I mean this is too much interference into newly wed couples life by wife's family members. And she takes money inspite of earning a income working in a school OR she does not even have her own money to buy food for herself one day? I cannot believe all these you are placing here for opinion.
10. All such things has been going on for sometime..for which she has developed very indifferent attitude..We can bring her and keep with us for some time...but we are really concerned now that will they take her back or not as they keep on speaking about their sons Remarriage.
Take: If you and your side poke too much their nose into her - matrimonial family then better prepare for your sisters divorce and her re-marriage instead of thinking he will get re-married.
Pls Guide us the measure...if they forcefully wants to send her back to us, as registration is not done , can the boy go for remarriage again....if things get worst,,will we be in trouble for separation...as they had firmly denied towards getting registration done.
Take: Again this is also too much, what due diligence you people did before your sister's marriage that means? If you are so concern of her dress change 3 times, no food, giving money, train tickets and what not then this is my second question? It is expected that even what inner garments the boy wears would be objectionable to your sister - you - local relatives one day looks like!!
Lastly, I will share with you one so called only useful hint since all above replies of mine you should not be liking as they are not upto what you expect to hear and the hint is to know if a person is already done Registered marriage or not and the link to earlier reply to another queriest is here which you shall read now and know if he did earlier Registered marriage or not (ask your local relatives for list of SDM office in Bangalore and replace Delhi SDM list accordingly in below post);
Advice: Please stop interfering into your married sister's life unless she is beaten or kept chained in her bedroom and also start looking for 100% local boy as this brief is soon going to end up in S. 498a / 406 IPC, DP, r/w DV Act and further read with S. 9 HMA proceedings by you - your sister. All above takes are picked up from various Hon'ble SC Judgments in similar facts of over indulgence of wife's family members into her married life and translated in laymen's way so that you can understand and mend ways accordingly, otherwise you may stop reading further my replies.
Please donot PM further, as I feel your sister's case is that of over indulgence of her family members case worth parting company soonest possible. Reasoning:- No wonder you ignored answering Airtel advertisement question that I asked in my first reply to your post to read your rural or urban mindset.