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Should we tell truth to naive girls wanting to marry her ex?

My sister got mutual divorce recently from her husband who is an NRI.Divorce happened as there was cruelty and desertion by him.The whole family was fraudulent type and habitually used bad language at home,even for the aged father,husband's grandmother and towards others.Their own relatives have accused them of being bad tempered and manipulative type.

Earlier cases were filed but they were quashed as it was affecting our parents' health and sister's health .

Now off late we are getting calls from various families of those girls who are having arranged marriage negotiations with her ex.

They want to meet us to know her husband's and in-laws' nature in advance.We managed to tell one family their true natures.So they decided not to pursue with them.

Now other families are wanting to meet us to know the truth.Some of them also came to know of the cases filed against them which were only genuine and want our cooperation in showing them her case file,so that they can know whether my ex-brother-in-law is fit to become a son-in-law of their family.

They are pleading us to meet them and tell all the truths,or else that will spoil their daughters' lives if they are married to the wrong man.

Please advise should we tell them honestly of their real character of cheating,fraud and physical violence?

On one hand we don't want another innocent girl's life spoiled by a fraud,abusive family.They are requesting us to meet them.Our conscience tells us to help innocent people who may be unaware of their fraudulent,harssing traits.We don't want to refuse helping them.

On the other hand we are perplexed,if her ex-family comes to know we are helping these girls who are seeking our help, can they blame us for defamation?

Please advise the correct action,so that innocent girls are saved,and we are not put to risk.

 5 Replies


In my view their is no harm in telling the truth but suppose your sister is going to get marry and they ask boy's family.

Anyway no one can stop NRI boy marriage for a long time.

**Victim** (job)     14 January 2012

@ Author,

It's better to move on you have wonderful future ahead why waist time in past ? Let other families figure out what they want ? I am sure if your ex-inlaws keep the other girl in blind spot then they might be well aware of consequences they might face in future again. I suggest you don't get involve in this matter life is very precious and there's a lot to pursue rather then waisting time in these matters.

mahendrakumar (marketing)     14 January 2012

you have already posted this in the experts section and many of us has opined there.


dont make a fun out of this forum by repeating the same query.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     14 January 2012

you should do what you are doing as it is not a revengeful act but to save other innocent girls.  telling truth does not attract  defamation.  you are not going town to tell about them but you are responding to the people who are coming to you with enquiries by telling the truth.

Damayanti (Unemployed)     17 January 2012

What can you do if somebody is hell bent on committing suicide.


So, Don't feel concerned about it nor try to prevent anyone as well.



Actually trying to prevent someone may look more harmful to you.



Give a reply in such a way that would not sound derogatory. Bad mouth always rebounds somewhere. and actually it is not necessary also.


People do read between the lines.

So make them read between the lines.

So don't give them clear statements.


By making clear statements, you own those statements and you are bound to prove those or else you are liable to face additional abuses and blame.



But you can maintain just one line 'No comments!! (it generates a thousands of comments implicitly about the other party) ... I am over with it and I am happy that it's over. that's it. Better do your verification from some other credible sources and not from me.'


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