Real truth! what to do if wife is not coming back?..must rea

Sameer,

matrimonial litigation is increasing at a very rapid rate, we are the first generation in India, in which divorces would happen on a mass scale.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Dear Sad Victim,

Really nice things u had jotted. I really appriciate ur thoughts. I myself also a sufferer of this situtation. I had also cried a lot. I was also in deep trauma. I had also done all this things to get back my beloved wife & lovely daughter but all in vain just because my beloved wife had a powerful wepon of 498A. Against this powerful wepon I can't do anythings just I had surrendered myself, surrendered my emotions & feelings. Anyways now its all over. Just to say its really nice lines by u

Well I understand your problem.  When wife is greedy and not satisfied with your income and property, you become cruel to her for not satisfying her greed and Section 498A helps her too.  There should be something for courts to measure the feelings of people and decide cases assessing who is victim and who is offender not by reading papers and documents but by reading faces.

Hi "A Sad Victim",

Very good write-up. Thanks very much for such type of good thoughts & knowledge sharing.

One more thing i want to add, Rather than money or any valuable items we have to give importance to the part of humanity and more important to keep it alive in any severe conditions. Nothing else is required in life, This is the main thing as per my belief.  

We always keep our first try not to harm anyone but to save ourself or our beloved ones from evil persons. if everything failed then we have to defend with OP with open challenge in every aspects.

It's always excellent, If we forget these type of persons and fight judiciously. If they really do wrong with ourself.

So keep humanity alive in yourself first then proceed accordingly.

Regards,

Abhinatre Gupt.

Hi "A Sad Victim",

Very good write-up. Thanks very much for such type of good thoughts & knowledge sharing.

One more thing i want to add, Rather than money or any valuable items we have to give importance to the part of humanity and more important to keep it alive in any severe conditions. Nothing else is required in life, This is the main thing as per my belief.  

We always keep our first try not to harm anyone but to save ourself or our beloved ones from evil persons. if everything failed then we have to defend with OP with open challenge in every aspects.

It's always excellent, If we forget these type of persons and fight judiciously. If they really do wrong with ourself.

So keep humanity alive in yourself first then proceed accordingly.

Regards,

Abhinatre Gupt.

Hi all (Most of you) .................. I don't know what we are actually trying to do here. Almost all of us (those who has gone through it or those who are likely to go through it) are talking about patience, humanity, giving up and all kind of senti stuff which doesn't have any material value in the eyes of court or infront of those greedy wife's class.

I know literally we are pitted against 1:100 situation with no solutions in the nearsight, but that doesn't mean that you allow those greedy people walk of you and family all over & again and again. C'mon, this all sounds good on text, honestly but when somebody sends your parents inside the jail for even 2 days, would you still say, have patience, trust on God, change ourself, and all those that you have suggested ....... C'mon I can't buy that (may be coz I come from Military background). Listen Pal (A Sad Victim) .... answer me few questions

Trust me what a person should do when he is facing a similar situation with the additional facts (given below)

His wife not coming and living a adulterous life (of course with a husband tag)

After 5 years her boyfrind leaves and now she is physically almost gone and now plans to return to you expecting you will now take care of her.

Now a person after waiting for 5 years returns to same situation, I mean he will agin face the same 498a threat now if he is not taking her back.? & trust me your words of humanity and trust everything will evaporate in a second in such situation. So what is the point in wasting those years while allowing your wife to atleast enjoy her youth. 

See, my point is, inaction is the worst thing one will do to himself. Even if you dont get divorce, or are being framed in 498a and even paying your hard earned money to her, just by fighting your 498a or divorce will put her in bad light and will not let her otherwise "enjoyable" adulterouus life with so much ease.

See guys, these are purely my personal views not meant to offent or degrade anyone's view's or feelings.

One more thing, yaar, I don't know how many of you have faced this. I know my wife going around with someone and having her best of time while I being so honest to realtionship (even never thought of having any relation outside my marriage and now its been more than year) is devoid of that physical love which is so much imporatnt in this most fruitful and meaningful stage of my life. This even hurts more to an MNC guy who lives in such culture where there is so much expressive relationships going around him, right,left and centre. So 32-36 ki umr main aapka gyaan in paristhitiyon main kuchh hazam nahin hota hain.

To mera funda hai, get started with something, can be anything (job,hobbies, social work,other activities even studying law :) ) but don't wait for her take her first move beyond a certain time span. I believe in "Collateral Damage" / Samoohik Nishadhya hind main ........ agar aappe koi ek waar kare to aap bhi kuchh to kijiye .... otherwise duniya itni dariyadil nahin hain ki aapki maanavta dekhkar aapko maaf kar degi. Remember its the only country where we have heard of "Coffin Ghotala" or Aadarsh Society scam. Jab log shaheedon ko nahin bakshte to aapki aur meri kya bisaat....... boss yahan to Darwin wali theory "Survival of the fittest chalta hain"

Would wait for comments

Regards,

Rohit 

Dear Sameer,

First of all I salute you as you are from military background bcoz of you people we are safe, but its very tragic to hear your story. But I can guarantee you that after reading your text anybody can see how much angry you are? As I am not saying you to be non-violent, but control on anger coz whatever we do in hot temper that decision will be 100% wrong. You know what is the first & basic rule of KUN-FU, JUDO, BOXING, WRESTLING, ETC. that fight tactfully but CONTROL ON ANGER.

As you said below,

agar aappe koi ek waar kare to aap bhi kuchh to kijiye .... otherwise duniya itni dariyadil nahin hain ki aapki maanavta dekhkar aapko maaf kar degi. Remember its the only country where we have heard of "Coffin Ghotala" or Aadarsh Society scam. Jab log shaheedon ko nahin bakshte to aapki aur meri kya bisaat....... boss yahan to Darwin wali theory "Survival of the fittest chalta hain"

Even I know about the Darwin wali theory, but this war, attack, defense, etc. should be for outsiders….. You know? for outsiders I am worst than Hitler….. (Once “1 constable ne meri sister ko chheda tha then maine use uske ghar me ghuskar mara tha) …. But what to do to insiders? our family members, we can’t keep the same behavior with them. We cant be so rubbish to our Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister & Even to wife……We may be lion for whole world but for our family we should be like rabbit only.

Okey… My frnd I am coming on your next point as you said below

“Even if you dont get divorce, or are being framed in 498a and even paying your hard earned money to her, just by fighting your 498a or divorce will put her in bad light and will not let her otherwise "enjoyable" adulterous life with so much ease.”

If she wants to cheat you or something like adulterous then she can do in any circumstances… Believe me just to make jealous to husband wives are taking their boy friend in court premises at the time of hearing and in front of husband she does the love-making with her bf… I am not asking you to “Jo billi sau chuhe khakar tere paas aayi tu use hajj pe le ja”…… I know only one thing we have to 100% loyal & pure (If my case is concerned then I am a GIVER not RECEIVER, I always gives lots of love and everything to others but not expect anything…MANTRA of being happy is DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE…… don’t keep any expectations from mother, father, bro, sister, wife, daughter, son, frnds, relatives, office, society, nation, world & universe… because finally your body will not gonna be loyal to you one day your life & body will leave you alone then how can you expect a lot from all these things?.... as SHREE KRISHNA says in GEETASAR …….only your KARMA will gonna help you… so concentrate on your KARMA only …..that should be pure & ethical.)….…. If she cheats us…..then definitely she will be getting punished…. This is the law of universe…. Extra marital issues are different things then its completely upon you whether you should have to accept her or not? But if she found better person than you then you don’t need to do anything she herself will leave you without demanding anything from you…..but then too entering 3^rd person between couples is a different issue… we have to analyze that story in different dimensions… let it be we will discuss this in detail later on.

If we have the fear of arrest of our parents then we have the option of ANTICIPATORY BAIL… why to worry on such foolish problems?..... My frnd! Life does not ends at arrest!!!... but remember whichever life remained there…STRUGLE & FIGHT IS THERE!... for you, me & for our old parents too…. So don’t fear on such a foolishness. (Aazadi ke liye to kitne bade, budhe, jawan sabne jail bharo andolan kiya tha …. Ye to fir hamare parivar ke aatmasanman aur dignity ka sawal hai…. Isase kya darna…. Maut to 1 na 1 din sabko aani hai…..1000 days of Goat = 1 day of LION.)

32-36 ki umar to chhod do …. Gyan lene aur dene ki koi umar nahi hoti….. but trust me if really you wanna teach a good lesson to your wife & in-laws then go with my way….you will feel a great satisfaction & feeling of revenge… which you cant feel it by doing unnecessary legal harassment.

Now we will speak about ACTION & INACTION….. I am in favor of INACTION & you are in favor of ACTION .. Okey…. Now tell me as being in ACTION filing multiple counter cases against wife will really help you and can you guarantee that situation will be in your favour and then you will be happy.. No you will not be happy but just you'll feel satisfaction of taking revenge and hurting her... by doing this you will just provoke her & give her the reason to harm you more…..SO MY DEAR FRND …SOMETIMES INACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN ACTION & WORDS!... in such a complex situation INACTION helps a lot…. You know why? Bcoz of 1 universal power works with you that’s called TIME….. TIME, PATIENCE & WORSHIP is the solution of all the problems…As no 1 can manufacture a LOCK without a KEY so GOD cant create a problem without a solution….. Trust blindly on him… He will help you…

On this forum you people may have appointed huge, great & costliest advocates to fight your cases. But I have appointed No. 1 Advocate of this Universe that is GOD…. Now he will fight for my case bcoz I trust blindly on him…

Bcoz when we say that I AM SOMETHING.. then GOD will say “OKEY I AM NOTHING”

But when you say that I AM NOTHING … then GOD will say “OKEY LET ME DO SOMETHING”

We may pitted against 1:900000000000000 situation ……. but when GOD enters then he directly removes that 9 from ratio …….then after ratio will look like 1:000000000000000.

If you people think that ADVOCATE is better than GOD then go for it….. but for me ADVOCATE is just an ADVOCATE… I may take the help of ADVOCATE when really needed for defense purpose only….but ultimate decision maker is GOD…. ONLY GOD.

Dear frnd Sameer Sorry if I have hurted your feelings…..but I am saying that which is coming from the bottom of my heart…. But believe me I want to help you genuinely so I am writing this.

Ur frnd Always

SAD VICTIM.

I guess you misinterpreted me.... You should give reply to dear Rohit Shukla.

Ya ... you are right.... my above reply is for Rohit Shukla?? Not for sameer... How can I delete above post????

Hello  "A Sad Victim" really nice lines. I personally experience all this.

My sad story start with some Intolerable and shocking SMS between my wife & her colleague there after some shocking, unacceptable and unbearable e-mails between my wife & her new unknown friend to whom she had meet in runing train just before 4 days. My wife had gone to meet that unknown person without my knowledge for second time & had given a gift to him.

When my wife deserted me she sent me legal notice so for defence I went to lawyer. The things happens like this my lawyer is friend of her lawyer. After 3 to 4 months of initial notice sent & received program my lawyer inform me that my wife is going to file divorce case on me so my lawyer insist me to file RCR but I was not ready for that. Later I came into contact of counselor of family court. I had told all the truth of my life so she suggested me that there is no other way to defense myself only to file RCR so I go with that. But later on my wife blame me that I had started court procedure so she got angry & be firm in her decision. nearly for 1.5 yrs nothing happens in cases filed by both of us only we got dates and dates. One file day my wife had changed her lawayer and they registered 498A against me & my family so with my lawyer instruction I went to meet police there I show all the proof why all this problems happens. There police officer aggered with me but that constable suggest me that my wife & in-laws had put a condition for me that I should accept divorce otherwise they will do FIR and put all of us behing bars. So on this my lawyer & all the relatives & family members make me understand about the situation and make me agree for divorce. Initially our divorce was done on notery there after within mounth divorce was done in court also. After all this exercise what I got nothing. I have to loose my beloved wife and my lovely daughter. I had cried a lot in all those days. prayed a lot to GOD for my well beings, done each & every things to get my wife & daughter back but nothing work out. still after divorce sometimes I remember all sweet memories then tears comes out. Before divorce my wife had never talk with me but after divorce she talks with me discuss about what happens. But when I had given her news about my recent engagment she blame me a lot also she told me that you can't wait for a year after divorce & lot many things. Once again I got confused and got under trauma. Again she had put all the old condition to get together again like my all the property should be transfered to her or my daughter name. she want I should earn monthly salary more then 50,000. she want I should live my life according to her way. She want what so ever she do I should not stop her. So once again my friends & well wisher make me understand that she is doing all this out of her Psychological behaviour. Again I'm in problem that what to do & what not to do. Did I have to go with my ex-wife or did I have to select my new life. My heart is going one way & my mind is going other way. But for my family well beings I have to go with my mind and my well wisher. Dear "A sad victim" if u do have suggestion then pls tell me. I feel better just b'coz I had open my heart to u today. Thanks buddy.

@JAYESH

“A burnt child dreads the fire”. Can’t you make a simple decision??? Only Ladies are ruled by Heart Not MAN. Man’s are always ruled by Mind.

Everything is acceptable till a lady takes a legal action. Once legal action is taken then there is no question of   compromise. Initially she has taken legal action due to psychological problem. Who will take the grantee that same lady will not kill you some day due to the same psychological problem???

Bro! All the fish in the lake are not bad. Live your life with your partner. If your Ex-wife create problem again then face the problem. Teach her a life time lesion. But don’t spoil your own life…. Best of Luck…

NOTE: A Glass can survive after little scratch. But once broken, then can not be fixed again…..

I always suggest people to keep quite & settle matrimonial Dispute peacefully. I suggest people not break relation ship. But in your case there is no scope of any compromise after all these bullsh*t RAMAYANA….

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes. 

Buddha 

Dear Jayesh,

I suggest Just Move on with new life.... Your ex is 498a women so it would be foolish to think about her. You should thank god everything is settled.

Regards

Sameer 

Agreed with your thoughts as far as patience is concerned….BUT

1)      A wife can’t be allowed back to matrimonial home after such adventure trip to courts

2)      She also has to pay the price of what she did and had to be made wait till long/eternity.

3)      She also need to go though the sleepless nights and sleepy days without any clue of her future.

4)      Fight in the court of law with all positivity and as per law without giving in to unreasonable demands.

5)      You told that they file these cases to fulfill their EGO, then you need to think again. Why a labouror’s wife don’t file these cases normally despite EGO clashes. The reason behind this is MONEY. With the guidance of unethical lawyers they first think that if we would file false cases either

i)                    Husband would agree to all unreasonable demands and compromise and wife would rule in matrimonial home

ii)                   Or will file for divorce and we would have hefty alimony maintenance

iii)                 Or will come for mutual consent divorce with hefty settlement for cases.

There can’t be any fourth reason for filing false cases my friend.

Let me give you an example of one of my friend where wife is a real sufferer but still she has not filed any case. One of my friend who was having an affair prior to marriage and went though a break-up. After that he gone into depression and had to take psycatric treatment. During that period his parents forcefully arranged his marriage but the boy told the girl that he may not be able to forget her previous love. However the girl thought that may be her love would cure him after marriage and they got married.

After marriage, the boy could not come out of memories of his past love and was trying to patch up again with her and hence after some months wife went to her parents house, started pursuing MBA, completed it with gold madel, started a job and still living their since three years waiting for her husband to come to her, promis her that he would not keep any relation with his ex and to take her back………..till date no case has been registered and she is ready even to wait till death.

This is called true love and selflessness which is totally missing from our wives. IN CONTRARY they file false cases when their lies/wrong doing are caught/objected.

THE POINT I AM TRYING TO MAKE IS, DON’T HAVE PATIENCE LIKE RABBIT WHO WAITS UNDERGROUND TO BE FOUND AND ETEN BY SNAKE BUT HAVE PATIENCE/STEMINA AND ATTITUDE LIKE A BULL WHO DON’T LEAVE THE GROUND AND EVEN FIGHTS WITH NUMBER OF LIONS.

However I agree with the fact that filing any case at initial stage would not help. However don’t forget to file cases once order is out in some cases in your favour.

Thanks,

PC

Hi Jayesh.... Sorry for delaying in reply........PLEASE READ SERIOUSELY

OFFCOURSE 101% YOU SHOULD GO WITH THE NEW ONE.....

I can understand your sentiments .. but first of all think that you are so lucky that you escaped from the hell without disturbing your life..... then why again you want to go the hell?

If she would have come 2 u with having full of tears in her eyes and ready to live with you as per conditions demanded by you not her … Remember I am repeating this statement again conditions demanded by you not her then there was at least 0.5% chances of rejoining…… but as you said she is demanding lots of conditions and she was having some extra marital affair… then according to me you should not even think of her.  It seems that you are very emotional person  so try to control on your emotions……  you are lucky again that you have got another girl who can trust on you…… but remember don’t repeat the same things again don’t be so emotional be tough hearted person…. Girl love those only.

1 more thing don’t remind that past sweet memories it will destroy ….. ek achcha sapna samajh kar bhul jao, aur hakikat ki duniya me kadam rakho…….

Anyways tell me one thing suppose if your hand figure has got infected with any serious poisonous cancer infection that time what doctor will do???First of all through all the possible ways he will try to recover it, but if he fails then??? He will cut your figure & even you will have to be agree with doctor, then it doesn’t matter how much you love your figure. Same case is in this matrimonial issues. We should have to save our family as much as possible, if we came to know that our spouse is meant to be always disturb our and our family’s happiness then we must leave her.

Remember, TO HELL WITH THE LAILA MAJNU & ROMEO JULIET………. WIFE IS NOT LIFE & LIFE IS NOT WIFE…….. LIFE IS MUCH MORE ABOVE THAN WIFE………. WIFE IS JUST A ACOMPANY FOR OUR JOURNEY, WIFE IS NOT A DESTINATION…AND YOUR DESTINATION WILL NOT SEE THAT WHETHER YOU ARE COMING WITH YOUR WIFE OR COMING ALONE…REACHING AT DESTINATION MATTERS.….. WIFE IS NOT EVERY THING, WHETHER SHE IS FIRST, SECOND THIRD OR WHATEVER…….. BUT I VE SEEN THAT MENS LIKE MAJNU, ROMEO, SALEEM, RANZA, FARHAS ETC. HAVE TO SUFFER FROM THIS 498A …(NOW TALKING ABOUT MUGAL-E-AZAM MOVIE) SO DON’T BE LIKE SALEEM “jo anarkali ke pyar me tabaah ho gaya”, BE LIKE AKBAR “jisne insaaf ke liye apni begum ko bhi nahi baqsha”….. THAT’S WHY “aaj bhi log saleem ko nahi akbar ko manate hai”…… Itihaas gawah hai jo bhi insan biwi, biwi karta raha use jamane ne kabka bhula diya………….

Once again I am screaming & saying again & again that have a vision out of frame…. Then you can see that without a wife also life is so amazing but you should have that view & vision…… ALL THE BEST!!!!