Most of boys have this question, What to do if wife is not coming back? (Abusing, Threatening for divorce, Etc.)
1) Should I go for RCR?
2) Should I file for divorce?
3) Should I go for Child Custody?
4) Should I remarry?
5) Should I go for ….. (Lots of foolishness)
Even I am going from the same situation. After doing lots & lots of consulting with the experts, lawyers, psychiatrics, philosophers, pastors, victims, friends, relatives, etc. I come to on conclusion that nothing is better than remaining silent, Keeping patience & Praying God.
I don’t think so that we should go for RCR (RCR is just a foolishness – Its just a sign of showing cruel/legal interest in that person who is not interested in us), Let her file the 498A we have the dare to face it. In worst what will happen? Because filing 498A is very easy but its very difficult to prove. Let her destroy her own life. Be patient, confident, mature, constant, stable with having full of worship on God. Take one stand that “IF YOU ARE COMING WILLINGNESSLY THEN HAPPILY I AM READY TO ACCEPT YOU, IF NOT THEN GO TO HELL, I HAVE LOTS OF OTHER THINGS TO DO?” and concentrate on other activities and take the benefit of this loneliness because (as per Abraham Lincoln) loneliness is also a gift of God when you can identify yourself and can create huge historic miracles. This stand should be for lifetime and prepare for worst of worst situation to maintain this stand whether your life is on a danger mode. (Bcoz as Mountain Due Ad says – “Darr Ke Aage Jeet Hai”)
1. I agree that this is the game of purely patience but most important thing along with the patience is that we must have faith on God that 1 fine day everything will be fine. So we must pray on a regular basis, believe me this works a lot.
2. That pray should be for our child and off course for our family’s happiness.
3. If she comes back then we have forget about the revenge and live happily. If she don’t come back then too we have live happily its our basic right.
4. I don’t think so that anybody is happy with this disaster neither our family nor our in-laws but the trouble is only bcoz of human beings unnecessary EGO & inflexible nature.
5. What will happen after divorce? Husband will be in search of new wife, & wife will be in search of new husband! And then after same story will be continue that time either we’ll adjust or fight again, Moral is “AISI KITNI WIFES BADALOGE?”……”Changing wife is not a solution, Changing thought/behavior. I think “hamare jyada laad-pyar ne in ladkiyonko bigad kar rakha hai”….So first we have to change ourself.
6. One day by having this frustration I drunk a lot & started crying in a bar then after I went to railway station I saw 1 begger who was blind….. I sat next to him and started sharing my tragedy with him. You know what he said its amazing – “SAAHAB EK BAAT BATAO AAP KE PAAS SABKUCH HAI… ACHCHI PERSONALITY, ACHCHA JOB, ACHCHI FAMILY, BANGLA, GAADI….SAB KUCH…… PAR FIR BHI AAP JAISONKI BIWIYA AAPKO CHHOD KE KYO CHALI JATI HAI?…. HAMARI BIWIYA KYO HAMKO CHHOD KE NAHI JAATI?.... MAIN TO ANDHA BHIKARI HU, LEKIN MERI WIFE JO DEKH SAKTI HAI FIRBHI PICHALE 21 SAAL SE MERI SEVA KAR RAHI HAI”………so think what that beggar was trying to say ……… now it’s the time to think that where we lacks???
7. U people know my mom (who belongs from richest family in her village b4 her marriage) has spend 20 yrs in 100 sq feet small room in a typical slum area with my father in a very poor condition…. Once they had been badly thrown away from that room bcoz of non-payment of rent so my mom had spend 2 days on a footpath with my father…. Intention not to make you bore by telling you my personal life but now I have 1000 sq feet luxurious flat but then too my wife is not satisfied with that……..and she always abusing me for that.
8. Solution is not in finding good women but its in finding ourself and how we react in various critical situations. Because these things are being made by nature to distract you from what actually you should do.
9. We must have seen lots of destroyed boys because of this 498A, But I have seen few mens who have turned the nation after suffering from this disaster. So finally its upon us whether we have to be that destroyed boy or fortune turner man.
So finally my frnds neither any advocate/judge nor any relative/Godfather can solve your problem. Only we and our positive thought process can.
I knew this secret when everything is destroyed.
But then too I am trying to make positive changes out of this and working with lots of faith & worship. Because if you go in History/Past then you can see that people like us are Historical Stars. Among all the historic stars most of people are those people who had been harassed by their spouse.
My frnds with lots hopes, eagerness & positive sense I communicating this message to you, and would like to hear your opinions on this. Please share.