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Found the Happiness (Enjoying)     17 September 2011

Real truth! what to do if wife is not coming back?..must rea

Most of boys have this question, What to do if wife is not coming back? (Abusing, Threatening for divorce, Etc.)

1)      Should I go for RCR?

2)      Should I file for divorce?

3)      Should I go for Child Custody?

4)      Should I remarry?

5)      Should I go for ….. (Lots of foolishness)

Even I am going from the same situation. After doing lots & lots of consulting with the experts, lawyers, psychiatrics, philosophers, pastors, victims, friends, relatives, etc. I come to on conclusion that nothing is better than remaining silent, Keeping patience & Praying God.

 

I don’t think so that we should go for RCR (RCR is just a foolishness – Its just a sign of showing cruel/legal interest in that person who is not interested in us), Let her file the 498A we have the dare to face it. In worst what will happen? Because filing 498A is very easy but its very difficult to prove. Let her destroy her own life. Be patient, confident, mature, constant, stable with having full of worship on God. Take one stand that “IF YOU ARE COMING WILLINGNESSLY THEN HAPPILY I AM READY TO ACCEPT YOU, IF NOT THEN GO TO HELL, I HAVE LOTS OF OTHER THINGS TO DO?” and concentrate on other activities and take the benefit of this loneliness because (as per Abraham Lincoln) loneliness is also a gift of God when you can identify yourself and can create huge historic miracles. This stand should be for lifetime and prepare for worst of worst situation to maintain this stand whether your life is on a danger mode. (Bcoz as Mountain Due Ad says – “Darr Ke Aage Jeet Hai”)

 

1.       I agree that this is the game of purely patience but most important thing along with the patience is that we must have faith on God that 1 fine day everything will be fine. So we must pray on a regular basis, believe me this works a lot.

2.       That pray should be for our child and off course for our family’s happiness.

3.       If she comes back then we have forget about the revenge and live happily. If she don’t come back then too we have live happily its our basic right.

4.       I don’t think so that anybody is happy with this disaster neither our family nor our in-laws but the trouble is only bcoz of human beings unnecessary EGO & inflexible nature.

5.       What will happen after divorce? Husband will be in search of new wife, & wife will be in search of new husband! And then after same story will be continue that time either we’ll adjust or fight again, Moral is “AISI KITNI WIFES BADALOGE?”……”Changing wife is not a solution, Changing thought/behavior. I think “hamare jyada laad-pyar ne in ladkiyonko bigad kar rakha hai”….So first we have to change ourself.

6.       One day by having this frustration I drunk a lot & started crying in a bar then after I went to railway station I saw 1 begger who was blind….. I sat next to him and started sharing my tragedy with him. You know what he said its amazing – “SAAHAB EK BAAT BATAO AAP KE PAAS SABKUCH HAI… ACHCHI PERSONALITY, ACHCHA JOB, ACHCHI FAMILY, BANGLA, GAADI….SAB KUCH…… PAR FIR BHI AAP JAISONKI BIWIYA AAPKO CHHOD KE KYO CHALI JATI HAI?…. HAMARI BIWIYA KYO HAMKO CHHOD KE NAHI JAATI?.... MAIN TO ANDHA BHIKARI HU, LEKIN MERI WIFE JO DEKH SAKTI HAI FIRBHI PICHALE 21 SAAL SE MERI SEVA KAR RAHI HAI”………so think what that beggar was trying to say ……… now it’s the time to think that where we lacks???

7.       U people know my mom (who belongs from richest family in her village b4 her marriage)  has spend 20 yrs in 100 sq feet small room in a typical slum area with my father in a very poor condition…. Once they had been badly thrown away from that room bcoz of non-payment of rent so my mom had spend 2 days on a footpath with my father…. Intention not to make you bore by telling you my personal life but now I have 1000 sq feet luxurious flat but then too my wife is not satisfied with that……..and she always abusing me for that.

8.       Solution is not in finding good women but its in finding ourself and how we react in various critical situations. Because these things are being made by nature to distract you from what actually you should do.

9.       We must have seen lots of destroyed boys because of this 498A, But I have seen few mens who have turned the nation after suffering from this disaster. So finally its upon us whether we have to be that destroyed boy or fortune turner man.

 

 

So finally my frnds neither any advocate/judge nor any relative/Godfather can solve your problem. Only we and our positive thought process can.

 

I knew this secret when everything is destroyed.

 

But then too I am trying to make positive changes out of this and working with lots of faith & worship. Because if you go in History/Past then you can see that people like us are Historical Stars. Among all the historic stars most of people are those people who had been harassed by their spouse.

 

My frnds with lots hopes, eagerness & positive sense I communicating this message to you, and would like to hear your opinions on this. Please share.



Learning

 42 Replies

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     17 September 2011

Nice Write Up & my sincere regards for that .......... but just one thing I failed to understand, even after so much of thought provoking or rather encouraging write up you consider yourself "a SAD victim"?

Now about the write up, this is good but suits rather well in article section. Coz still it does not suggest a way out of the pain one poor husband is going. Not every harassed man is fortunate enough to have same level of health and wealth as that of you and me to digress himself of this mess and concentrate on hobbies/other activities etc suggested by you. I know people whose bread butter getting lost just coz of this false cases and the guys running from pillar to post to find jobs so as to look after his family while meeting court dates. Is it possible for him to digress himself from the ongoing mess, just practically CAN'T.

Now solutions ..... well there is no PERFECT solution. The the one we choose will be the one which is actually not a solution, but the only option that we are left up with. Now this option differ from person to person like ----

  • I would fight till death
  • I would compromise
  • I would divorce
  • I would teach her a lesson
  • I would forget and move ahead in life etc etc

My personal take is a "mix of all" with highest degree of wisdom. coz at the end of the day ....... One should be happy with what he thinks otherwise happiness is , for me its "LIVING WITH MY DIGNITY" 

Regards,

Rohit
 


(Guest)

Dont Be foolishby sitting quite in this matter. If you feel you really good husband, I suggest you to file Restition of Conjugal Rights tiill the judgement... It will really saves you from lots of trouble.. Just believe me..

I have also filed, but didnt sticked till the decree order.. I was in hurry  fearing 498A and DVA and divorced her.. dont do any mistake as I have done. Believe me... Its saves from other trouble.

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     17 September 2011

@Rohit & Kowda

 

We must appreciate the author for writing so optimistically,and for trying to be cheerful even when his life is in a mess.

 

He also found time to think and write of such an inspiring text,so as to motivate other sufferers.

Even if you disagree with him,atleast appreciate him for his efforts.

 

And what wrong did he say that praying to God is the best solution.Haven't you heard of prayers doing miracles in people's lives?

 

When all strategies have failed,turning to God is the best way.

 

What is the guarante that when you file multiple counter cases,you will emerge victorious?Or that your cruel wives will become submissive and stop harassing you?

Rest depends on your conscience..

gaury..fight to win (Education)     17 September 2011

 

Among all the historic stars most of people are those people who had been harassed by their spouse.


After every night a bright morning comes!

 

 






1 Like

**Victim** (job)     17 September 2011

@ Author I agree to your thoughts....

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     17 September 2011

Dear Sad Victim

Your words are very soothing.You are really a good guide..

 

Please don't be sad.I am sure you'll get the best in your life.Either your wife will come back to you.Or else you'll get the best future wife in this world.I am sure about this.:)

 

The only thing is,don't be too docile in case of harassment.But avoid being over aggressive also.Just maintain the perfect balance.So keep praying to God to get this clarity,which helps you to take the right actions,so that you can maintain this balance beautifully.

 

Good luck 

 

 

 

Found the Happiness (Enjoying)     17 September 2011

Thanks Roshni, Thank you very much for your appreciation, One more thing which I forgot to mention that along with the "PRAYING" 1 more thing is important that "BLESSINGS & WELL WISHES".

Once again thanks for your "BLESSINGS & WELL WISHES". ......... we can win the world only with the help of this

@ Mr. Kowda Imran - I know by do not filing RCR may be quite trouble giving to me.. but thats why I said "DARR KE AAGE JEET HAI"..... but for me most important is my PRINCIPLES & ETHICS..... and trust me its very painful & most difficult to stay sticked with the PRINCIPLES & ETHICS ............. but finally it gives us ultimate win and soulful satisfaction....... atleast you can Satisfactorily close your eyes at the end of life by having that feeling that "I HAVE'NT DONE ANYTHING WRONG"

 

Thanks Guys.... Enjoy

gaury..fight to win (Education)     17 September 2011

Its our foolishness to shed tears for some people who were never our own.They never think of us..why should we hurt our dear ones crying for those people?

Fortune favours the brave only.

Be like water .Adjust in every situation but always ready to make a way for you to flow.

mrgop (Owner)     18 September 2011

“SAAHAB EK BAAT BATAO AAP KE PAAS SABKUCH HAI… ACHCHI PERSONALITY, ACHCHA JOB, ACHCHI FAMILY, BANGLA, GAADI….SAB KUCH…… PAR FIR BHI AAP JAISONKI BIWIYA AAPKO CHHOD KE KYO CHALI JATI HAI?…. HAMARI BIWIYA KYO HAMKO CHHOD KE NAHI JAATI?.... MAIN TO ANDHA BHIKARI HU, LEKIN MERI WIFE JO DEKH SAKTI HAI FIRBHI PICHALE 21 SAAL SE MERI SEVA KAR RAHI HAI” 

English translation please....

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     18 September 2011

Originally posted by :mrgop
"
“SAAHAB EK BAAT BATAO AAP KE PAAS SABKUCH HAI… ACHCHI PERSONALITY, ACHCHA JOB, ACHCHI FAMILY, BANGLA, GAADI….SAB KUCH…… PAR FIR BHI AAP JAISONKI BIWIYA AAPKO CHHOD KE KYO CHALI JATI HAI?…. HAMARI BIWIYA KYO HAMKO CHHOD KE NAHI JAATI?.... MAIN TO ANDHA BHIKARI HU, LEKIN MERI WIFE JO DEKH SAKTI HAI FIRBHI PICHALE 21 SAAL SE MERI SEVA KAR RAHI HAI” 


English translation please....
"

English translation

 

Sir,please tell me something...You have everything in life-A good personality,a good job,a good family,house,car...in fact just everything.Still,your wives desert you.I don't know why.Why don't our wives desert us?I'm a blind beggar.Still my wife,who's not blind,is living with me for the past 21 yrs...And she's serving me too.

Rahul T (Engineer)     18 September 2011

@A sad Victim

          Bro, You are at the right track. I am sure you have realized the Fact of Tu Tu Mai Mai…. I am very happy about it. Keep it up. You will win.I don’t have any thing to comment on it. Just my silent support with you….

 

Knowledge is Power. It's True….


(Guest)

hav faith on God every thing will fall in ur feet...hav patience and see the difference....!!!

 Best of Luck...!!!


(Guest)

"What will happen after divorce? Husband will be in search of new wife, & wife will be in search of new husband! And then after same story will be continue that time either we’ll adjust or fight again, Moral is “AISI KITNI WIFES BADALOGE?”……”Changing wife is not a solution, Changing thought/behaviorI think “hamare jyada laad-pyar ne in ladkiyonko bigad kar rakha hai”



 I am thinking about Anup Jalota and all his 4-5 divorced wives

Sameer12345 (SSE)     19 September 2011

 

Dear Sad Victim,

I really appriciate your post and sharing your some of personal experiences.

I am now realizing i am not the only one in this world who is facing such situation and keeping silence. 

Thanks mate.


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