Civil Procedure Code (CPC)

Help to save marriage

Resourcer

Hi, I am writing this on behalf of my close friend who needs advise.

Her story goes as under.

Married in March 2009.  Matrimonial issues with inlaws. Husband used to take side of in laws. She used to talk extensively to her family. Husband came to know this and also she used to share minute details of her family life with her family. Relations were strained between families. She wanted her husband to look after her family also. Husband denied. She had quarrels wth in laws and husband used to support them. In November 2010 she left for her paternal home by calling her parents and packing her bags.Husband took a stand that she has left home, if she wants let her come. Husband filed for divorce in Jan 2011. It was a shocker to her and her family. Being felt devasted she filed a RCR, police complain and also a DV.

Looking back at past she still wants her husband back. Her husband is a very intellectual man with social status. I told her that she was lucky to be his wife when they got married. Her in laws are also rich.

Wrong things done by her were she filed police complain and DV but this she says was for her protection and was advised by her lawyer and others in family. Also shes done things to hamper husbands career. She stupidly went on trips in india after divorce with her family to divert her mind and feel better.

Looking at future it looks dark coz if this divorce goes through then she will be losing on a well settled independend husband having high social status and intellect. Also she is good looking now but what after 3-4 yrs...it will all be lost. Now shes even thinking that the second person will also be a divorcee and how will the second marriage sustain.

I have following questions,

1. Can this marriage be saved ?

2. how to save this marriage ?

3. Both have not spoken for months now. What can be done to get husband back ??

4. There is Divorce and RCR case. Which will take precedence ? Can court ask husband for RCR and stay together and divorce would be consideration after that ?

5. Wifes demanded maintenance. She was a house wife. Its too much coz her husband is earning more than affording luxurious life style.

My personal general question is ?

To be fair to husband his hard earned money will be spent by wife even though shes not staying with him. How fair is this ? Coz a girl can go in for live-in and enjoy at hard earned money with some other guy ? Is there any way court can monitor this by way of law ?

6. My friend thinks that husband shud come and take her back. What steps should she take if this has to be materialized ?

7. Now does RCR takes precedence over Divorce case ? If yes then can the court ask husband to co habitat with wife ? If husband doesnt follow court order then what will happen ? Will the husband be ounished ? Is divorce eminent.

8. How does Indian society look at divorcee women ??

9. Mens in this forum who are seeking 2nd marriage may throw some light as to what would they do when approaching a divorcee for second marriage ?? Am sure men will think 100 times after bitter experience in 1st marriage.

10. Kindly suggest me as to how should I make them unite together so that divorce can be avoided. Wife still thinks that her husband will come back. However to be honest shes not done enuf which can bring him back. Instead shes done detrimental things may be coz of ego/revenge/family pressure etc.

11. How is life after divorce ? Only divorced females in the forum can throw some light. I can help her know that thisis what will happen in future.....

12. In todays society his there any possibility of second marriages to sustain ???

Your help in this regard will certainly help me in a way to unite them together......

Thanks

 
Reply   
 
Resourcer

Anyone kindly help !

 
Reply   
 


student

you better post this in the experts section and on lawguru.com
 

 
Reply   
 
Resourcer

Experts kindly help as to what can be done and advise accordingly !!

Am in desperate need of help as things can escalate to any extent....................Try nd help me in the cause to save this marriage...

 
Reply   
 
Fighting Frivolous 498A case

Filing false case equivalent to breaking divine (so called) bond of marriage.


And you say girl wanted to save marriage ?? Why did she file false cases then ?

 
Reply   
 
Resourcer

Yes she did wrong in filing the cases......I know but when she got divorce petition she was shocked as few things in the petition were not completely true in her opinion .....Husbands side lawyer had manipulated few things....And she wanted to defend on those allegations.....Hence she filed cases..

 
Reply   
 

 

@Janhavi

She is misguided by other person.,

If ther is any dispute then the relative should try to resolve the matter amicably but in your case she filed Dv case ,police case etc..its not good at this time ,at last resort you can take this but before that not .


Anyway these was occure.You said that,"she will be losing on a well settled independend husband having high social status and intellect."

then why she take these silly steps ?Now, husband in a very angry mood as his high social status are ruin day by day....


And i dont understand these explanations;Now shes even thinking that the second person will also be a divorcee and how will the second marriage sustain.


1. Can this marriage be saved ?

I am not an astrologer.meet an astrologer.


2. how to save this marriage ?

You and their parents should go to their house and try to solve this matter amicable.Talk to him that i will never make this type of mistake in future and forgive me.


3. Both have not spoken for months now. What can be done to get husband back ??

Answer 2.


4. There is Divorce and RCR case. Which will take precedence ? Can court ask husband for RCR and stay together and divorce would be consideration after that ?

Read it in this forum If she file RCR then court should try to solve this matter in court that is restitution of conjugal rights (RCR) but before that folloe steps 2(answer)


5. Wifes demanded maintenance. She was a house wife. Its too much coz her husband is earning more than affording luxurious life style.

this question is not applicable right now better try for reconciliation other wise divorce and maintenance procedure and it take some times and her life (your friend life )and husband matrimonial  life will be ruined .Better try to advise her.

Best wishes.

 
Reply   
 
Senior Partner

@ Author

After going through the factum of presented brief(s) here are mine independent views;

1. Can this marriage be saved?
Take: Yes, a marriage can always be saved however it takes Two to Tango without much interference of any THIRD PERSON!

2. How to save this marriage?
Take: Become Ms. Cupid tao for them i.e. talk once again individually to them and see what their outcome views of their marriage are if given a chance to unite?. Once they say they agree to one point that is they may unite then remove the “provided…..” word between them. Women are good in such role plays so I am positive you will do your act well :-)

3. Both have not spoken for months now. What can be done to get husband back??
Take:  When Menaka can put ice to vows of rishis and munis then a good looking friend of yours (as you say) can always cut the ice i.e. invite them for dinner without informing each other and try to play cupid.



4. There is Divorce and RCR case. Which will take precedence? Can court ask husband for RCR and stay together and divorce would be consideration after that?
Take: It is a inverse cross case. It seems husband has filed Divorce and it takes precedent over RCR provided he takes necessary steps to service his divorce at the earliest in accordance with laws.  

5. Wifes demanded maintenance. She was a house wife. Its too much coz her husband is earning more than affording luxurious life style.
Take: Now, you being middle women / man needs to decide first what you friend is entitled for a Divorce and or a RCR and or a Maint. and or reunion first then point to talks on luxuries of husband, that way you have no rights to poke into their affairs as you are not clear what you can give to your own friend if you talk of luxuries of his. That is for court to decide if a maint. is filled.



My personal general question is?


To be fair to husband his hard earned money will be spent by wife even though she is not staying with him. How fair is this?
Take: It is fair to the point the 41 Women Laws are concerned and if societal apathy is concerned then your friend should not beg for his hard earned money as she is capable to work and or earn similarly, donot you think so!


Coz a girl can go in for live-in and enjoy at hard earned money with some other guy?
Take: This is one point of view. I donot agree as even a husband can also enjoy same live in if errant wife in hand. Donot you think so!


Is there any way court can monitor this by way of law?
Take: if complaint from either party then Court intervenes otherwise like you say “why should one care…chalta hai ji…”

6. My friend thinks that husband should come and take her back. What steps should she take if this has to be materialized?
Take: If it is ego of adults then give them space and time to introspect they will themselves realise the childish maturity exhibited amidst themselves and it is not that only husband should be expected to come and take her back she should also make an effort to come and meet him half way if marriage needs to be saved, donot you think so!


7. Now does RCR takes precedence over Divorce case? If yes then can the court ask husband to co habitat with wife? If husband doesnt follow court order then what will happen ? Will the husband be punished? Is divorce eminent.
Take: You can bring a Horse to a well but you cannot make horse drink water from the very well, try that in practical life that also that of a husband and wife’s not even acts of God can compel a unwilling spouse to act without his natural will in such circumstances.  


8. How does Indian society look at divorcee women??
Take: Metro divorcee are comfortable co-existing in evolving Indian metro cities. However re-marriage is a big choice question to them.


9.
Mens in this forum who are seeking 2nd marriage may throw some light as to what would they do when approaching a divorcee for second marriage??
Take: Complete bio-data check up / verification as once beaten twice shy is a famous saying donot you think so!.  


Am sure men will think 100 times after bitter experience in 1st marriage.
Take: That may be one perception. Human mind in various situation works differently and not necessarily may say the same as you may say.


10. Kindly suggest me as to how should I make them unite together so that divorce can be avoided. Wife still thinks that her husband will come back. However to be honest she not done enough which can bring him back. Instead she done detrimental things may be coz of ego/revenge/family pressure etc.
Take: read some of the takes above again. It is only she who can make it work as it is going to be her life henceforth if she chooses to cohabit with him. Little adjustment here and there coupled with will to gain maturity out of a happening relationship thy name happy marriage ! Support her as “just being there” she will come to tracks if there is a will.  

11. How is life after divorce? Only divorced females in the forum can throw some light. I can help her know that this what will happen in future.....
Take: Yes, asked females may through their perceptions but today Indian womens are empowered to large extent and they can lead a very decent life in a metro till next Mr. Right pops into their life.


12.
In today’s society is there any possibility of second marriages to sustain ???
Take: A marriage can sustain if both spouse make it work with adjustments, give and take, nurture their love for each other and with respect

Your help in this regard will certainly help me in a way to unite them together......
Take: Off the record if this is personal que. then married / un-married and or divorced life is still beautiful as one can make it out it is only in old age a person in metro India with biased women centric laws shall need a companion. Best is if two person really love each other then ego and “revenge” using women centric laws should be kept away, it really damages even partial healthy relationship. You and your friend are better judge to que. in hand and all I can say at the end is that if there is a will she will definitely have a matured happy married life. 


Howsoever, all the best to your friend.......really.

 
Reply   
 
propra

Agar kuchhh paya bhi!!,  ...  to wo mitti hai !!! ..... 

Aur  ........  

Agar kuchhh khoya bhi!!,  ...  to woh sona hai !!!

 

 

She should learn to move on and not linger on what happened and what shouldn't have happened.

 

 

Its like 10th and 12 exam .... after passing the exam one can't again appear it to score more marks and get to get admision to a medical/engg college!!! One has to live with it

 

 

This is life ... I also wish I could rollback many things .... and have a restart .... JUST like thhaaaat!!!!................but alas!

 

 

There is something called 'time which does not come back....

If she manages to congratulate him after seeing him with another ..even more beautiful, romantic and younger girl (unmarried) ... and if she manages to greet him with open heart ... then she would have learned something to move forward.

 

 

This is life and one has to live with it... but before and to do that  ... one has to come out of "one's own built shell" !!

 

 

and .............................. live in present (these are not just three word ..... even thousand pages would be insuffient the whole meaning of t!! so just perceive it .............. and bingo i!! .. your friend would get the answers!!!)

 

 

 

 

Probably she should do yoga and turn to spirituality (there is lot of junk material,. ... spread by many with their own spice to it ,... in that area also .... rather 99.9999% of the whole belongs to that category  ... and those people have successfully manage to confuse many subsequent reader!!!  sabne dukaaan dali hai!!! .......  aur ..uska bhi dhanda ban gaya hai!!!!!!! ...  so read, imbibe only and only quality material about it.)

 

 

 
Reply   
 
Resourcer

My special thanks to TAJOBSINDIA & KUSHAL. Thanks for your valuable reply. I really appreciate your honest and open views.  Although am trying to be bridge between the two I have to be neutral.

There is till one thing which is not clear to me (Although she's my friend)

1. What shud a women do if she gets a divorce petition  and her husband's family in no mood of reconciliation ?

Probably this may answer the question whether the acts done by her were really justified ??

TAJOBSINDIA & KUSHAL kindly throw some light on this pls.

 
Reply   
 

LEAVE A REPLY


    

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register  



 

  Search Forum








×

Menu

Post a Suggestion for LCI Team
Post a Legal Query
Civil Litigation Course     |    x