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mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     07 July 2015

Rcr by husband and compensation by wife without divorce

SIR,

         I GOT MARRIED IN OCT 2012. MY WIFE IS A MPHIL AND I AM 10+2. I AM A CENTRAL GOVT EMPLOYEE. MINE IS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE. FROM STARTING ITSELF MY WIFE DISLIKED MY FAMILY. SHE NEVER WANTED TO LIVE WITH ME IN MY VILLAGE. SHE IS FROM A NOT MUCH BIGGER CITY. HER PARENTS USED TO INTERFERE ALWAYS IN MY FAMILY MATTERS. I HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO WAS BORN IN JUL 13. MY WIFE LEFT ME IN DEC 13 AND NEVER CAME BACK. I FILED RCR IN JUN 14 AND SHE ATTENDED THE HEARING IN FEB 15. THE CASE WAS TRANSFERRED TO LOKADALAT. IN LOK ADALAT SHE SAID SHE DON'T WANTTO LIVE WITH ME AND WANTS A SEPARATION. OUT OF SIX HEARING SHE ATTENDED ONLY TWO. NOW SHE HAS FILED A TRANFER PETITION CASE AT HGH COURT TO TRANSFER THE CASE TO HER DICTRICT COURT. THE CASE STATUS IS SHOWN AS DISPOSED. ON THE OTHER SIDE SHE HAS FILED A COMPENSATION CASE OF RS. 40000/- PER MONTH FOR HERSELF AND DAUGHTER. MY INCOME IS RS. 35000/-. SHE IS A PROFESSOR AND EARNING RS. 45000/- PER MONTH. SHE IS UNWILLING TO GIVE DIVORCE ALSO. WHAT IS THE REMEDY FOR THIS. I HAVE NOT SEEN MY DAUGHTER SINCE WHEN SHE WAS 03 MONTHS OLD. NOW SHE DOESN'T RECOGNISE ME ALSO. WHAT SHOULD I DO TO GET RID OF THIS PROBLEM. SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH ME AND SHE IS UNWILLING TO GIVE DIVORCE. SHE AND HER PARENTS HAVE PLANNED TO GET MONEY FROM ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? HELP ME. I AM A DEFENSE PERSON. I HAVE MUCH WORK TENSION AND SHE IS TORTURING ME. PLEASE HELP ME.



Learning

 15 Replies


(Guest)

after child is born better adjust with each other and lead happy or unhappy marital life for sake of kid future.  all the best.  

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     08 July 2015

SIR,

        I HAVE ADJUSTED TO EVERYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF MY DAUGHTER ONLY BUT SHE SAYS THAT SHE DOES NOT REQUIRE ME. SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF AND DAUGHTER WITH HER PARENTS. AFTER SAYING THESE THINGS SHE IS NEITHER LEAVING ME NOR COMPROMISING. THE CASE IS JUST RUNNING. HOW TO PUT A STOP FOR THIS?

Law_Learner (Asst. Mgr.)     08 July 2015

Dear Mariya,

If your wife is hell bent not living with you, no power on earth can bring her back in your life and so is the case with any other couple in this situation. You are being tourtured because it's you who filed the RCR and bear it in mind not even the court force her to live with you. That's the harsh reality. 

As far as maintenacne is concerned, she cannot ask for maintainance for her from you, keeping in mind her earnings, however she has the right to seek maintenance for your daughter. 

You can ask for visitation rights to see your daughter. Engalge a goood lawyer. 

Best of luck.

LL

  


(Guest)

There are few things which you can do,

1.  Bring wife back and Learn to control wife and keep her under your control.

2.  Give her lumpsum money and take MCD.  Get rid of the kid also, as taking care of girl child is not easy and when your wife has so much pride, let her take care of the kid also, you go for visitation rights under G&W and not for custody.

3.  Have patience.  Wait till the cases get over or take a gun and finish the matter now itself na rahegi baas na rahegi khitpit.

 

All options have been explained.  

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney)     08 July 2015

I Agree with law lerner and helping hand.

 

No need to worry. Now the law favouring towards the women has now diluted to some extent.  Though she has filed maintenance for Rs. 40,000/-, the court will grant reasonably i.e. approximately 1/3 of your salary.  If she wants to file 498a and dowry case, let her file.  You better contest the case and you will come out of the case one day on merits. 90% of the cases are proved false.  Unfortunately, there is no cooperation and coordination between you, hence try to settle the matter through mediators and pay some amount as permanent alimony to her and compromise the matter.  Inspite of this still she shows her adamant nature, follow up the cases as I said above.  Keep concentrate on your job.  As matrimonial are very sensitive matters, It is better to contact me, I will explain you in detail how to tackle the problem.

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     08 July 2015

SHE IS NOT READY FOR ONE TIME SETTLEMENT. SHE SAYS SHE WILL NOT GIVE DIVORCE BUT WANT COMPENSATION TILL MY DAUGHTER GETS MARRIED. NOW MY LIFE IS GETTING SPOILED. NEITHER SHE IS WILLING TO STAY WITH ME NOR WILLING TO LEAVE ME. SHE TOLD IN LOK ADALAT THAT SHE WANTS SEPARATION BUT NOW SHE HAD FILED FOR COMPENSATION WITHOUT DIVORCE. ANOTHER PROBLEM IS THAT SHE IS NOT ATTENDING ANY HEARING. EVERY TIME SHE SKIPS BY SOME REASON. LIKE THIS ONE YEAR HAS PASSED. I WILL BE RETIRING AFTER TWO YEARS. MY AGE WILL BE 31 YEARS. WHAT WILL BE EEFECT AFTER RETIREMENT WHEN MY PENSION BECOMES HALF OF MY SALARY. AS SHE IS EARNING DOUBLE THAN ME AND MUCH MORE EDUCATED. IS THERE ANY WAY TO MAKE HER ATTEND THE HEARING BY ANY COURT SUMMON?

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court)     08 July 2015

you cannot force her to live with you.

your R.

 

CR  idea is wrong that causedgreater problem.

you cannot ask for your daughter as per S C judgement latest child is to be with mother only, so u cannot force under any law, further she can maintain her daughter, yea you have to pay 1/3 of yr salary to yr wife and you need not pay for yr wife's maintenance.

 

here you seem to be dead against her parents interferance that is the problem if you reconcile probably you may get some conciliation possible, else she will not give divorce, 

u made a serious error when she is reallyhighly qualiied how did u agree to marry her any one would ask.. it is obvious she is bound to hate you if you try to over rule her wishes,

 

problem is yourself friend,  some one above rightly said reconcile might here be some possibility of recnciliation that could rebuid family life.

 

your idea of  behaving like a boss over here may be by misguidance some might have dispensed to u. sorry tks   

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court)     08 July 2015

no way u have to cajole.

if not nothing meaninful is viable.

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     08 July 2015

THANK YOU BALAKRISHNAN SIR. EVERYONE ASKS ME THE SAME QUESTION THAT HOW DID I MARRY A HIGHLY QUALIFIED GIRL. BUT THE REALITY IS THAT IT IS SHE WHO PROPOSED FOR MARRIAGE. I DENIED AT THE STARTING ITSELF BUT SHE SAID SHE WILL ADJUST TO ANYLIFESTYLE WITH ME. HER FATHER IS A PHOTOGRAPHER WHO DOES NOT HAVE A REGULAR INCOME AND HER MOTHER IS A TEACHER IN PVT SCHOOL EARNING RS. 8000/- PER MONTH. BEFORE ME SOME GROOMS ASKED RS. 15-20 LAKHS AS DOWRY WHICH THEY WERE NOT ABLE TO PAY. I WAS NOT ASKING ANY DIVORCE SO THEY AGREED FOR ALLL CONDITIONS. BEING A DEFENSE PERSON I LIKED TO KEEP MY FAMILY WITH ME WHERE EVER I GO IN INDIA. FOR THAT ALSO SHE AGREED BUT NOW SHE IS NOT WILLING FOR ANY CONDITIONS. I DIDN'T ASK HER TO GO FOR ANY JOB OR DEMANDED ANYTHING FROM HER OR HER FAMILY. I AGREED FOR MARRIAGE BECAUSE ECONOMICALLYTHEY ARE FAR BELOW OUR FAMILY. BUT THEY HAVE PLANNED SO CLEVERLY EVERYTHING THAT I AM JUST STRUCK IN A SPIDERS WEB. 

 

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     08 July 2015

I WROTE NOT ASKING DIVORCE. IT'S ACTUALLY DOWRY

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     08 July 2015

I DIDN'T ASK ANY DOWRY, VEHICLE OR ANYTHING. I ASKED JUST TO SEND HER WITH WHAT EVER THEY WISH TO DO FOR THEIR DAUGHTER. AND THEY DIDN'T GIVE ANYTHING ALSO. BUT NOW THEY HAVE FILE THAT I HAVE ALL THIER JEWELS. BUT I KNOW THEY HAVE KEPT ALLL JEWELLERIES IN BANK LOCKER. I KNOW THE BANK ALSO

dr g balakrishnan (advocate/counsel supreme court)     08 July 2015

asking dowry by you is out of question. you married her tht could get you better status or you. you indeed got. natural any girl could find offended in her position. 

had been wise then either you would not have married her but you mighthave assissted her to get married to reasonably qualified compatible to her education level.

any way solution now is reconciliation approach would make lfe of heaven rebuilt friend. no point in running to courts, but sort out issues mutually viable as she is in fact not a bad girl from the way she does not want to give you divorce...'proof of the puding is in the eating'  that way her approach is reasonable,as she does not want new marriage with some one as she seems to be a reasonable family type girl.

 

it is not wise on your part to lose her. Losing her means she might spend her further life as a spinster, and you cannot marry that is the predicament for else you might lnd in bigamy problem, my humble suggestion reconcile meaningfully acceptable to her and you do not bring in  both side parents, Ensure a suitable living arrngements to your parents else where, u both live together with the child. god bless u both. sir 

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     08 July 2015

SIR,

 THE PROBLEM IS THAT SHE ALWAYS GOES WITH HER PARENTS. EVEN AFTER HAVING A GIRL SHE ALWAYS GETS INFLUENCED BY HER PARENTS. EVEN I NEVER TRIED FOR DIVORCE. AS FAR AS MY PARENTS ARE CONCERNED MY FATHER IS A RETIRED CENTRAL GOVT EMPLOYEE AND HIS PENSION IS RS. 25000/- PER MONTH. AND HE IS LIVING IN HIS OWN HOUSE. I HAVE NOT BOUGHT MY OWN HOUSE BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT AFTER HAVING FAMILY I WILL PLAN ACCORDINGLY. BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LEAVE HER PARENTS HOUSE. SHE WANTS TO STAY THERE ONLY. NOT WILLING TO STAY WITH ME. HOW DO I MAKE HER UNDERSTAND. HER PARENTS ARE SO ADAMANT THAT THEY ARE MORE AND MORE BACKFEEDING HER INSTEAD OF GUIDING FOR A GOOD LIFE. AS SHE IS EARNING MORE THAN RS. 45000/- THEY ARE KEEPING HER FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY. 

mariya joseph (GOVT EMPLOYEE)     10 July 2015

SIR

     REDDI SIR. I KNOW IT IS VERY MUCH IRRITATING WHEN YOU SACRIFICE YOUR PARENTS ALSO AND YOUR WIFE IS STILL NOT HAPPY BUT I WANT A HAPPY FAMILY WITH WIFE, CHILDREN AND PARENTS AND RELATIVES.  I MAY HAVE CHOOSEN A WRONG PARTNER SO MAY BE GOD IS GIVING ME A CHANCE TO CORRECT IT. 

 MY WIFE APPLIED IN HIGH COURT CHENNAI FOR TRANSFER OF MY RCR CASE TO HER DISTRICT IN APR 15. AFTER ONE MONTH HOLIDAY OF COURT THE STATUS OF CASE SHOWS AS "CASE DISPOSED". SO WHAT DOES IT MEAN? HAS THE COURT REJECTED THEIR PLEA OR DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING ELSE? 


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