Please help

hello,

just relax and make up your mind to reach a conclusion.

For once approach her without ego or preconcieved ideas, as her husband and not as your fathers son.In order to communicate you need to empathise with her however hard it may be.You need to immediately find the real cause of problem in case you don't know already(which I believe you must be having atleast some idea). as you wrote "everything was good before it, we both work peacefully, there was an excellent chemistry between us. if this doesn't work go for mediation by some common friend who both of you trust. In case you dither or postpone solving the problem you may be in for bigger trouble like 498a etc. act fast and decisively.regards ASHOK

thank you for your replies, Ashok and Rahul.

 

I tried talking about it many times to her, but she still maintains it. we tried a mediator as well, but didnt work out. 

Its hell... she isnt ready to talk anything about it, just repeats the same "story" again and again. its really hurting to hear it about my father.

i am aware of 498a, my point is that can the divorce be done amicably? or something which makes her ask for a divorce??

Originally posted by : Standstill
	thank you for your replies, Ashok and Rahul.   I tried talking about it many times to her, but she still maintains it. we tried a mediator as well, but didnt work out.  Its hell... she isnt ready to talk anything about it, just repeats the same "story" again and again. its really hurting to hear it about my father. i am aware of 498a, my point is that can the divorce be done amicably? or something which makes her ask for a divorce??

Before she speaks to other people including a lawyer.

 

Try to brainwash her to the extent that when you say we wll part ways, you will part ways as friends and not as enimies.

 

its up to you now as to how to handle your wonderful  wife.

 

How to convince her for MCD.

 

Mr Standstill
Dont stand still, your wife is just playing a dirty game - are you living with your parents ? She may

want a separate residence and I am sure this is all coming from her parents etc.

If she didnt hesitate to make that accusation, then THERE IS NO TRUTH to it. only you know

how she told. When you are constantly accused falsely or you see something abnormal or strange, be sure that

there is an agenda/motive that you are not aware of and only THEY know. You need to live this

until you findout the truth - it is difficult to get to the truth at your speed because they will not

reveal anything. You have to realize over a period of time.

OR

she is a whacko...sorry i mean mental case.

You  test her (engage her more not for fun but to evaluate her) and come to a conclusion.

Others please dont target me for saying  this:

to  a certain extent women are irrational (and more emotional than logical) so you have  to consider that aspect also.

Dear Brother!

 

if things were good between you and recently gone sour due to an incident which may be false, do not let it build and take it to a place of no return, you both can sort this out and continue to enjoy marital bliss.

 

one needs to let go of ego and prejudice and one also needs to make compromises in marital life, there is nothing wrong if you move to an independent house along with your wife and stay married happily, by doing this you do not become a bad son or love your parents less, you can still be a dutiful son.

many a times things are better appreciated from a distance, as a husband it is your duty to ensure your wife life is good and at peace and it is her duty as well.

 

trust me contesting for divorces, running behind court cases is not worth a penny, we all live once and let us all spare ourselves from these self inflicted pain and agony.

 

a true well wisher..

 

@abdul

there is nothing wrong in having a separate residence - however it depends on the family situation. I personally feel

that it is our duty to take care of our parents esp when they are getting old. They have a lot of challenges in day to day lives as their body and mind dont support well. You can hire  a 24x7 maid, however they will not give them the love and support parents need. No parent will express their emotional needs or physical limitations. So it is essential that someone lives with them to be there when they need you. If you throw them out, they will not go to the PS or file a case in the court. They should also adjust with changing times to build a happy home.

If a girl is old enough to get married, SHE IS OLD ENOUGH to shoulder responsibilities.  She just doesnt have the heart or the sensitivity. Unfortunately our laws, and the PS/Advocates most of them support the wife and expect husband to cater to the wife's needs, however unreasonable.

Just think about it - if you see an old man or a woman carrying a heavy bag, most of us, including you, would offer help without hesitation and we take pride in doing something good.

But at home, In comes the wife, and Out go the parents ?

 

 

Become indifferent to her, or request her to end this marriage.