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hemaindistress (none)     26 August 2013

Need help-divorce

I m in great distress and need your consul. 

I had an arranged marriage 13 years back and have a 11 years daughter. Relationship wit my husband was not on great terms but dragged the marriage somehow. I am a commerce graduate and a home maker. Got married right after my graduation and have done minor jobs like receptionists and all before marriage and few months during married life. Husband earns very well so going back to make a successful career was never an agenda. In recent years our squabbles increased a lot which resulted in I leaving my house with my daughter and shifting to other house which is co-owned with my husband. Husband is staying in our other house. 

My and my daughters upkeep is now not looked by him and he gives very meager amount which is not atall suitable to the lifestyle I used to hve when I was with him. When I asked for more money he said no and to manage in what he provides or go out to earn. When I insisted he said to go and take legal help

I then contacted a lawyer who suggested to file a DV case for getting maintenane money from my husband which I did. The case is going on since last one year. Now husband has filed divorce case on me. I dont want divorce from him. 

We hve been staying apart since last 1.5 years and even my daughter is not in touch with him. I dont know his whereabouts. He comes to court when needed but his lawyer is present for all court dates. I hve conveyed him thru email tht I want to return to him but he adamant on divorce. His family is also not much of help here. My divorce hearing ( my reply for his petition) is coming in next 2 months. I am completely lost here... not sure wht to do. Could someone guide me pls.



 9 Replies

Legal Fighter (Advocate)     26 August 2013

you have filed domestic violence case in which you must have leveled some allegations against your husband.. but still u wanted/ want to live with him. i would advise u to talk to him personally and get the differences resolved mutually instead of legal proceedings.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     26 August 2013

A marriage of 13 year old and a daughter of 11 year old of that marriage, even then the couple parted on squibbles.  Despite knowing exact nature of squibbles, difficult to tell to you about the would be fate of divorce petition he has filed.  It is difficult to get divorce in India, and it is more difficult to get a divorce from a marriage of 13 year old.  So, be confident.  As per the prevailing law, the divorce can be granted to the husband on a very limited grounds such as cruelty, adultery and wilfull desertion etc.  The courts won't grant divorce on the ground of squibbles.  So, engage a pernicacious and sagacious advocate in divorce case and contest it on merits and his divorce petition will be dismissed.  THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE WOULD COHABIT WITH YOU.  Unwilling partners cannot be forced to cohabit by the power of law.  In his divorce case, you can file an application under Section 24 seeking maintenance and also litigation expenses.  The maintenance that can be awarded for you and your daughter under this section ranges from 1/3rd to 1/2 of his income.  The court expects that you and your daughter are entitled to live the same living standards as if you were living with your husband.  For getting maximum benefit under this provision, your advocate must take appropriate steps to call for his income records from his employer.    

hemaindistress (none)     26 August 2013

Squabbles as in he being insensitive to my needs, Giving priority to work other than family etc. The dv case filed by me has some allegations which were construed to et maximum money benefit. If I m not able to prove them would it add benefit to his divorce case? Would withdrawing my dV case help here? Or shld I keep fighting it? I had already awarded interim maintenance in DV case. My lawyer had suggested to solve the dv case mutually in front of the judge to which my husband didnt agree. He is hell bent n fighting the DV case which we doing since last 1.5 years.

hemaindistress (none)     26 August 2013

Grounds of divorce is cruelty


(Guest)
i think u should try to reconcile amicably at least for the sake of your daughter

A Blank Diary of Life (MD)     26 August 2013

Dear Sister,

 

when, the time was there to make our self understand before proceeding ahead in filing DV Case, you did not bend a little. Now, how can you expect your husband need to bend a little and support in withdrawing your DV Case. Now, he has will to prove your wrong in front of Judge and filing Divorce case on the basis of cruelty.

 

Why you ladies always think from other's mind? Why can't you apply your own mind and heart? Later on, you realize a need of your husband. How disgusting is this!

 

Here and anywhere in this world, a married lady/women has to understand that she is a backborne of her husband and his family. She represents the value of culture of any family.

 

She is the only one who represents a cultured family infront of other and people take her an example of a decent married women, who loves her husband's family and her own family, respect them a lot, create a great value of life, make them happy, well cultured in growing their kids, educate their kids nicely, bla bla bla...

 

Once, you become a wife and daughter in law of someone, that does not mean that LAW is always in favour of women. If she thinks than, why don't you file a complaints agains your own parents. Why do you sacrifice a need for which your parents are unable to fullfill, why do not you fight for that with your own parents?

 

I don't want to get into all these dirty stuff, but, thought to make some ladies understand that they should teach themself first and then try to teach a lesson to someone else. The movement you will try to teach a lesson to yourself first, then, there will be no need to teach a lesson to someone else. I am guruanteed you.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : hemaindistress


I m in great distress and need your consul. 

I had an arranged marriage 13 years back and have a 11 years daughter.

So you mean to say someone arranged your marriage, and you just were there as a ritual.


Relationship wit my husband was not on great terms but dragged the marriage somehow.

See this is what happens when someone else arranges the marriage and you are just there as a part of a ritual.


 

I am a commerce graduate and a home maker.

Very good.


Got married right after my graduation and have done minor jobs like receptionists and all before marriage and few months during married life. Husband earns very well so going back to make a successful career was never an agenda. In recent years our squabbles increased a lot which resulted in I leaving my house with my daughter and shifting to other house which is co-owned with my husband. Husband is staying in our other house. 


My and my daughters upkeep is now not looked by him and he gives very meager amount which is not atall suitable to the lifestyle I used to hve when I was with him.

 

Yes, moving out was your decision.  IF you were really capable of looking after yourself, then you could have moved out.  Moving out on your own and then asking for alms, looks inappropriate to me.  Instead of showing ego, you should have altered your ego and led a peaceful life with your husband.


 

When I asked for more money he said no and to manage in what he provides or go out to earn. When I insisted he said to go and take legal help

Exactly.  Why should you ask for money??? when you are a commerce graduate, wen you can find a job for yourself.  It is you who moved out.  And look at your guts, having a female kid and you move out when you clearly knew you did not have any financial backup.  Your husband is right, you go find some job for yourself.

 


I then contacted a lawyer who suggested to file a DV case for getting maintenane money from my husband which I did. The case is going on since last one year. Now husband has filed divorce case on me. I dont want divorce from him. 

Frankly dear, lay your hands on the oldest slipper in your shoerack, and go to that lawyer and hit him with that slipper till it gets fully torn, for misleading you and breaking your family in the pretext of getting some money as maintenance from your husband through court.  Secondly, dont throw that slipper, you can still make use of that, hit yourself on your head for listening to that lawyer and for filing that Domestic violence case against your husband.  

Do not worry, it may sound very rude now, but down the line, am sure you will feel the same, and would unapologetically do the same in the near future.



We hve been staying apart since last 1.5 years and even my daughter is not in touch with him. I dont know his whereabouts.

If you file false cases, how will he be ever seen again?  he will run away as he has done now.



He comes to court when needed but his lawyer is present for all court dates. I hve conveyed him thru email tht I want to return to him but he adamant on divorce.

Here read the above slipper story, oldest slipper, dont go for brand new slippers.  Preferably hawai bathroom slippers.

 

His family is also not much of help here. My divorce hearing ( my reply for his petition) is coming in next 2 months. I am completely lost here... not sure wht to do. Could someone guide me pls.

 

Yes dear, even I dont know what to do in your case.  You have done all maskiri in the first place and now repenting.

Your husband will never accept you back in this lifetime.  You better get MCD and find a new partner who can take care of you and your little one.   No much options for you.  But if you go the slipper way.  Make a VDO of such act, post it on the net.  Then tell your husband how foolish you were to listen to that lawyer who guided you wrongly in filing Domestic Violence case and that you apologize for it, then perhaps your husband might give taking you back a second thought.

hemaindistress (none)     11 September 2013

Thanks for your replies

Since few months I am trying to get in touch with my husband like having face to face meeting but he is very adamant in meeting me only in presence of his lawyer. I don't know where is staying as his house is locked all the time. I do know his work place but I don't want to barge in there as he might used it against me in the court. We both don't have good relationships with either the families so common contact is also not there...nor any common friends to help.

Wouldn't it be considered a mental cruelty on his part not to meet his legally wedded wife if she is asking for it? 

If I have to withdraw my DV case now (interim maintenance is granted) would it amount to losing my interim maintenance too?


(Guest)

Wouldn't it be considered a mental cruelty on his part not to meet his legally wedded wife if she is asking for it?

hehehhe...lol


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