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Raghavendra (MTS)     24 October 2013

Need advice: mutual consent divorce

Dear Friends,

I married on May 6 2011. My wife left me on Oct 2 2011.
We have been living separately ever since.

I tried to resolve the matter in June 2013. It did not work out.
I sent her a MCD notice which I downloaded from the internet to see her reaction.

She reated by sending me a formal notice from a lawyer. She has accused me of demanding dowry and torturing her for the same.
She mentions that she is ready for MCD. But I need to go to Noida in the first week of November.
She also mentions that her father spent Rs. 10 lacs on buying gifts for me and my family. This is utter bullsh*t.

I reside in Chennai. I have the following questions:
1) Can I file for MCD in Chennai and ask her to come here? This was the last place of residence.
2) Can she get it transferred to Noida?
3) They have not given anything to us as this was a love marriage. Will I have to compensate her for marriage expenses?
4) She works in TCS Noida. Will I have to pay her maintenance?
5) She waited all these years and now says i tortured her. Will this hold good in court? She can prove nothing.

Please help.


Learning

 15 Replies

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     24 October 2013

If your wife abandoned you and is living separately for more than two years, it means non-cohabitation between you both for more than two years period, this will be a sufficient ground to seek dissolution of your marriage by a decree of divorce on the grounds of non-cohabitation for a continuous period of more than two years and desertion.  You do not have to go for Mutual consent divorce.  This MCD is to be presented by both together and not that you will file it on your own without her signature.  As you said that you had sent her an information making your intentions about the future of your married life over which she retorted and threatened you with consequences besides demanding ransom from you in the name of settlement, you can adduce her lawyer's notice as a documentary evidence to prove her character and intention before the court.  Contact a good lawyer locally, proceed with a case for divorce accordingly.

Raghavendra (MTS)     24 October 2013

Thank you Sir.

That was great advice.

I will surely get in touch with a lawyer.

During the period of 2 years I had tried hard to bring her back. We spoke with each other and sent mails and messages too.

But whenever I asked her to return she would turn mad and fight. This has been the story for the past two years.

I was frustrated beyond my endurance limits.

Is there a chance that she might contest the "Divorce based on Desertion" move?

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate )     24 October 2013

Mr sreekant you have done all your efforts to bring your wife back but she doesn't turn back 2. Now you file divorce u/s13 (i-a) , (i-b) of HMA , these sections are for cruelty by wife and for desertion for more than two years . 3. no need to go for mcd , file divorce petition in your districts family court , let her come in the court dates 4 .don't give a single penny to such rude lady. 5. get and keep her job details like her salary , designation , year of service in that company , etc with you It will used when she claimed for her maintenance ,then after showing all these details in the court she will not entitle for getting maintenance amount from you means ,that details reflects that she is capable for her maintenance. in this way you have to pay her nothing. 6. engage a lawyer to handle your case .

gautam (not disclosed)     24 October 2013

With limited facts, it seems that your problems are not major.  It looks like a case of ego and lack of understanding and could be resolved.  you tried resolving the matter after 20 months, why?  Sending MCD just to know her reaction would have been a wise choice only after all other options to resolve had been tried and exhausted.  Instead you should have send RCR petition, which if refused by wife, could have been used in favour of divorce case

throwing more facts would enable the members to give better advice.


I reside in Chennai. I have the following questions:
1) Can I file for MCD in Chennai and ask her to come here? This was the last place of residence.

Yes, you can.
2) Can she get it transferred to Noida?

Yes, she can, and the probability of the case getting transferred to Noida would be more (almost yes)
3) They have not given anything to us as this was a love marriage. Will I have to compensate her for marriage expenses?

Marriage expenses are non-refundable, does not stand grounds in court
4) She works in TCS Noida. Will I have to pay her maintenance?

Maintenance would be decided by court on both or your earnings and assets/liabilities of both parties.  but a working wife in a short marriage should not get any maintenance, but lawyers can play games to get something or other
5) She waited all these years and now says i tortured her. Will this hold good in court? She can prove nothing.
Females can accuse at any time and she can file case, if she can prove nothing, she will lose the case, but lot of time will be gone fighting the case till the end
Please help.

 

MCDs are successful when both parties genuine believe in giving fair deal to the other, sacrifice a bit to avoid long court battles and when one or both want to move on in life.  else unreasonable demands paves the way for contested divorce and the person to lose the patience start to compromise more.


would be interesting to know the percentage of contested divorce ending in mutual settlement

Raghavendra (MTS)     25 October 2013

Mr Gautam,

We were constantly communicating. Ours was a love marriage and I know she has a big ego. This is all her father's trick. He always wanted to control my life which I never allowed. I was asked by my wife to leave Chennai for good and move to Noida with my family. This was unacceptable to me.

She later asked me to dump my brother and mother. There was no point in visiting her when she was not willing to listen at all.

Her parents were never interested at all. I messaged many of her relatives too. They too did not bother.

In the past few months all her demands had died down. Thus, I visited her. But she has already made up her mind. She did not want to live with me.

 

 

@Mr laxmi kant joshi AND Mr Gautam
If I go for Divorce on grounds of desertion and file the case in my District in Tamil Nadu, will she be able to transfer the case to Noida?
My mother is bed-ridden. Will that be considered? That is, to satisfy one mad woman will another helpless be troubled?


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Raghavendra

Thank you Sir.

That was great advice.

I will surely get in touch with a lawyer.

During the period of 2 years I had tried hard to bring her back. We spoke with each other and sent mails and messages too.

But whenever I asked her to return she would turn mad and fight. This has been the story for the past two years.

I was frustrated beyond my endurance limits.

Is there a chance that she might contest the "Divorce based on Desertion" move?


There are no answers to your ifs, buts, and mights.


Its a boxing match where your hands are tied up, you got the gear, but your hands are tied and she is all blows, left, right and center, and for you its just jab jab jab .


(Guest)

 

Originally posted by : Raghavendra


We were constantly communicating. Ours was a love marriage and I know she has a big ego. This is all her father's trick. He always wanted to control my life which I never allowed. I was asked by my wife to leave Chennai for good and move to Noida with my family. This was unacceptable to me.

She later asked me to dump my brother and mother. There was no point in visiting her when she was not willing to listen at all.

Her parents were never interested at all. I messaged many of her relatives too. They too did not bother.

In the past few months all her demands had died down. Thus, I visited her. But she has already made up her mind. She did not want to live with me.

 
What kind of love marriage is this?

In love marriage one surrenders thats all.  And rest is called a love story with ups and downs.

IF you still want to save your marriage make separate home and move in together and try it out one more time.

These days girls dont prefer doing seva to in-laws and to top it, this is love marriage.


Try moving out of your house if you want to save your marriage.


Both of you adamant, bringing up  issues like FIL, MIL etc shame on you people, shame that you call it a love marriage.
 
If I go for Divorce on grounds of desertion and file the case in my District in Tamil Nadu, will she be able to transfer the case to Noida?

Yes.  And let me tell you this, keeping in mind the draconian laws which favor the woman in India, I bet your lovely wife will make you dance better than Micheal Jackson, she will surely force you to suicide, you will be thinking down the line it was better I had somehow adjusted with my wife than going through all this.

 


My mother is bed-ridden. Will that be considered? That is, to satisfy one mad woman will another helpless be troubled?

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     25 October 2013

Dear querist

my opinion on your queries are as under:

1) Can I file for MCD in Chennai and ask her to come here? This was the last place of residence.

Opinion: no, with her consent, signature & persoanl appearence you can not file the MCD petition before court.


2) Can she get it transferred to Noida?

Opinion: MCD is not maintainable without her signature, if you file a divorce other then MCD then sshe can file a transfer petition before SC to transfer the case.


3) They have not given anything to us as this was a love marriage. Will I have to compensate her for marriage expenses?

Opinion: its depend on the situation or court.
4) She works in TCS Noida. Will I have to pay her maintenance?

Opinion: its depend on your living status.


5) She waited all these years and now says i tortured her. Will this hold good in court?

Opinion: she can file 498A case within 3 years of incident or DV within one year of Incident.

Feel Free to Call

Raghavendra (MTS)     25 October 2013

Helping hand,

That is great advice. If I have a mother who is bed-ridden and cant fend for herself, I should just dump her somewhere and have a happy married life.

If I have an unemployed young brother who is learning because i am paying his fees, I should throw him out too.

One surrenders all in love. Why should I be the only one to surrender all?

What kind of advice are you giving?

Your advice disregards the mental agony of a man who loved a woman and brought her home only to find that she has suddenly changed completely and wants to separate me from my people. She left me after 3 months and has never looked back and now is accusing me of harassing her for dowry.

She does not want to care for in-laws. OK. Later if I fall ill she would not want to care for me too.

This feminism bullsh*t is taking its toll on the Indian culture.

Get back with her? Sleep with her? Eat the food she prepares?
Be practical.

 


(Guest)

I reside in Chennai. I have the following questions:
1) Can I file for MCD in Chennai and ask her to come here? This was the last place of residence.

Opinion: MCD is not contested divorce that you wil file alone on your choice,It's mutual consent divorce decided by both parties and need to be presented by both.

2) Can she get it transferred to Noida?

 

Opinion: Read above point.

Again it's not contested divorce that it needs HC/SC transfer.....Man you both decide mutually at which place is suited for both.

 

3) They have not given anything to us as this was a love marriage. Will I have to compensate her for marriage expenses?

 

Opinion: No marriage expenses can be recovered legally.

 

4) She works in TCS Noida. Will I have to pay her maintenance?

 

Opinion: Dude...due to working in TCS is enough or she is getting salary some where?? when you write query then don't write only noun but also state the Adjective.

Anyways  again you both sit and decide as what you give and what she will take.

In MCD only talks matter which is similar to business talk sitting at round table conference..lol

 

5) She waited all these years and now says i tortured her. Will this hold good in court? She can prove nothing.

 

Opinion: You have confused me...........:/


First you tell me What you want dear MCD or contested divorce???

 

You need a good learning about MCD n CD..

Just put your efforts on reading past querries related to divorce on both issues.

Please help.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Raghavendra

Helping hand,

That is great advice. If I have a mother who is bed-ridden and cant fend for herself, I should just dump her somewhere and have a happy married life.

If I have an unemployed young brother who is learning because i am paying his fees, I should throw him out too.

One surrenders all in love. Why should I be the only one to surrender all?

What kind of advice are you giving?

Your advice disregards the mental agony of a man who loved a woman and brought her home only to find that she has suddenly changed completely and wants to separate me from my people. She left me after 3 months and has never looked back and now is accusing me of harassing her for dowry.

She does not want to care for in-laws. OK. Later if I fall ill she would not want to care for me too.

This feminism bullsh*t is taking its toll on the Indian culture.

Get back with her? Sleep with her? Eat the food she prepares?
Be practical.

 

Practical or not Its totally up to you.  


Its sad to know that your mother is bed ridden and lot of responsiblities are there on your shoulder.


But once you enter legal battle, all these no court will listen, MCD is also not so simple with wife that you have got like her, she is already telling you tortured her for dowry etc only shows that this is a long battle in the making.

But one thing I would like to advice you.


Just in case she agrees for MCD, then do not pay half money or full money in case you arrive at a settlement figure to your wife on first motion itself, do not agree to deposit money into her account at all.  Let it be always this way, she signs the papers on second motion and you give her money on the second motion date itself.  As there are many a case that the wife took money on first motion and never turned up on the second motion making it  lengthy process to get over with ie the divorce.

 

If you want to fight for what you want, dont cry for what you lost !


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Raghavendra

Helping hand,

That is great advice. If I have a mother who is bed-ridden and cant fend for herself, I should just dump her somewhere and have a happy married life.

If I have an unemployed young brother who is learning because i am paying his fees, I should throw him out too.

One surrenders all in love. Why should I be the only one to surrender all?

What kind of advice are you giving?

Your advice disregards the mental agony of a man who loved a woman and brought her home only to find that she has suddenly changed completely and wants to separate me from my people. She left me after 3 months and has never looked back and now is accusing me of harassing her for dowry.

She does not want to care for in-laws. OK. Later if I fall ill she would not want to care for me too.

This feminism bullsh*t is taking its toll on the Indian culture.

Get back with her? Sleep with her? Eat the food she prepares?
Be practical.

 

Practical or not Its totally up to you.  


Its sad to know that your mother is bed ridden and lot of responsiblities are there on your shoulder.


But once you enter legal battle, all these no court will listen, MCD is also not so simple with wife that you have got like her, she is already telling you tortured her for dowry etc only shows that this is a long battle in the making.

But one thing I would like to advice you.


Just in case she agrees for MCD, then do not pay half money or full money in case you arrive at a settlement figure to your wife on first motion itself, do not agree to deposit money into her account at all.  Let it be always this way, she signs the papers on second motion and you give her money on the second motion date itself.  As there are many a case that the wife took money on first motion and never turned up on the second motion making it  lengthy process to get over with ie the divorce.

 

If you want to fight for what you want, dont cry for what you lost !

Raghavendra (MTS)     25 October 2013

Hi Every sufferer is a saviour,


I did not want a divorce. I had been asking her to come back. She refused. For 2 years she wasted time. I went to her home to resolve the issue. I sent messages to her relatives. nothing worked. She asks for more time which I am not willing to give her.

I sent her an MCD downloaded from the internet making sure that there was nothing that could hurt her.

She sent me an official legal notice stating that:

1) I harassed her for dowry etc.

2) They spent huge amounts on procuring gifts for my family.

3) She is ready for MCD and I need to go to Noida in first week of November.

When I talked to her lawyer he said that i need to pay around Rs. 5 lacs.

These are the facts.

Now I was advised by a lawyer that i should go for Divorce on grounds of desertion and not pay her anything.


For 2 years she said nothing and on seeing my MCD she accused me of harassment.

V R SHROFF (Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152)     25 October 2013

lucky, she offered mcd,

grab this opportunity, and file mcd, where-ever she says. 


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