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dhinesh (it proessional)     26 December 2012

Mental harrasment

Dear Sir,

i got married in nov 2011 and had been married for a year and have a kid 5 months now.within 2 months of marriage, my wife developed allegations on me and on my family that we illtreat her, which never happened. we have 2 servants to take care of the house hold activities and we gave the liberty to take care of just cooking alone. I am from a traditional hindu family. She started not to hear my parents words or mine though i have advised her many a time for false allegations. She used to use abusive words on me and on my family and started harassing me to get rid of my family and settle with her alone. Sometimes she uses abusive language causing mental agony which led me not to talk to her and she would not step. Soon after marriage, i and my father approached her father to sell one our property which was in litigation. he convinced us to sell it at a lower price and we agreed. but later we found that he used us to rob us of 13 lacs .this caused trouble and when enquired he plainly rejected it as it was ablack money deal. He also convinced his daughter he never took the money. so when i tried to ask her about this, she defended her father without knowing the truth and started threatening me , she would file a domestic violence and dowry case on me n my family.this made me angry and i stopped talking to her. due to this, she stared using all foul language to make me speak but in vain. She had been in her house since April 2012 when she went for her delivery and my parents have nevr seen the kid. in may 2012, she came with her family and had an heated argument with me. At one stage, when i tried to slap her, she warnd me she would slipper me in front of everyone. This made me agitated and i started hating her. I requested her many a time to come home upon the pretext that she must apologize. but she is refraining and she is threatening that she may file a case against me and my family by end of january 2013.. 

Please help me if i should file a RCR and I come from a very decent family.what is the outcome of it and will I be spared if police try to arrest me or my family?



Learning

 8 Replies

Sanjeev (Lawyer)     26 December 2012

it would be good if you forget the money 13L that you feel have been misappropriated by your FIL in the sale deal as it could be a misunderstanding that you have and no daughter would like to listen anything against her father.

for the sake of the child and your future you should settle and start fresh with her and even if you stay away from your family in a rented accomodation it would be gud.

if you think otherway to seperate- then the path would not be easy as it would lead to litigation your wife may not agree to divorce and it would eat up precious years of your life and also spoil future of your innocent child. As to your question on any cases they can file 498A that she has threatened for that being a criminal case would make you entangled in court cases and initially seek bail.

It would be gud if you think and resolve forgetting the past which normally people dont follow being hit by ego and later things go out of hand.

Thinking from your wife perspective they would think from a point of view that her life is getting spoiled and they should take revenge so they would ultimately resort to some steps against you.

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     26 December 2012

the lady who threatens to file false criminal cases aganist husband & in laws should not be kept in home.

dhinesh (it proessional)     27 December 2012

Thank u foryour reply. However, my wife keeps threatening me that if i dont speak, she will resort to police. she is doctorate student. she ha once threatened me in may by commiting suicide while she was in her home and when i stopped talking to her. i have evidences of her sms and mail with me which i took backup using software to gmail.so i put forth few conditions on her that she must stay with my kid in my home for a month, apologize for her misconduct and listen to me. she is not happy with that and want me to reside with her alone where i work now. she does not want my family and she will dominate as tht was her character. So i told her that me or my family will not encourage her family in any occasion for which she is not willing, though naturally what a person may think in common.this is because, they (her entire family) christened my child without my presence against our custom. this made me furious which led me to tell her like that. think of my position as a parent!!!. i have changed my job recently to kerala and she does not know it  as i concealed it fearing she will torture me calling to my office, which she did earlier in my previous concern.. i love my kid but im worried since, if i try to accept her forgiving and move to kerala, she will try to dominate me and keep threatening me for lifetime. she thinks her father is perfect and not once they cared when we had troubles how serious it was. only once they visited home and my wife plays double game that we stopped her parents from coming home? if we had stopped them why would we enter her house during her pregnancy custom(7 months) inspite of all her false allegations.

Now please guide me as what should i do or file RCR atleast to safeguard my old parents who are senior citizens if she or her father try to file  DV case or 498a on them or me?. 

Thank u

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     27 December 2012

u will have to fight all the false cases filed by her on merits.

there is no sure-fire safeguard.

in the mean while keep collecting evidences (sms/phone call recordings etc.)

tapun kumar (Senior Manager)     27 December 2012

Dhinesh, you have to make sure that you dont lose your peace of mind and analyse the whole situation as a  third person's view point. you will b able to do that only when u keep emotions aside. Now make up you mind whether u want to live life with ur wife or otherwise. Becos both the courses r different. If u want to live, first is you go n meet her alone, stay with her family, dont put conditions/take commitments on the first day. Have good time with ur wife n kid. Be extra social meet her uncles aunts cousins, distant relatives etc. etc. Be good to all of them. They would most probably be forced to tell your in-laws that Dinesh is a good guy. Even if nothing is fixed up regarding ur wife's come back this time, atleast it will reduce the ill-thoughts coming to their mind. I'm sure it works it.

Remember "Water can put holes in the rocks " 

Chetan Joshi (Advisory/Advocacy)     27 December 2012

Hi...

 

 

Don't take this lightly. It is not new that females do entangle men with false allegations. If you think and even forget thinking even if you have slight doubt that she may file a dowry or a dv case, you should be looking for a lawyer who can secure you an Anticipatory bail.

 

 

 

You and your family may have to go through un necessary torture if she files a case..It is suggested to Act prudently. Have a record of anything that goes against her and highlights her misbehaviour....Find a good lawyer via referance soon..

 

 

As far as the property is concerned, an immovable property under litigation cannot be transfered...

 

 

Regards

 

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com

dhinesh (it proessional)     27 December 2012

can I file a rcr as a safety measure for me n my family? . will my sister family will also get included incase she files a 498a though they live few hundred miles apart. I don't have any problem taking her back but her father is influencing her a lot and she takes blind decision without considering future.

seshadri vikrala blog (Asst.Security Commissioner/Retired B.Sc;LL.M;PG.Dip.in Crl.Laws; PG Dip.in IRPM)     28 December 2012

These are the days of 'individual independence' and in this 'Digital-Generation' groups, every family member/ recently married couple wants to live indipendently and have their own course of self style living system; the same is found to be with your wife; One has to adjust with the present genration gap, your parents and other elderly members also shall have to keep in line with your wife thoughts and agree for you and your living independently; You and your wife can come and see them on your holidays, etc and spend some time and go back to your place of residence; except that there seems to be no other solution; YOU have expressed 'mental harassement, and etc"; is there any proof for such acts against  you from your wife's side; in fact you have written that you were about to slap her, that itself may go against you, as there can be no proof, you cannot creat evidence aginst her in the absence of any unusal acts by her or  your FIL, instead they may even can file case against you on many counts:

HAVE a counselling session with your near and dear and make her to understand your problems and also you think her problems in a /+ve thoughts,her problems and come together with a soft life spending actors instead of spoiling future life, where you got a child to come up in this generation of money value matters; think well before you leap...!


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