Forced mcd please advise

@ Depressed Soul & Saurav

Your love for your so called wife is really praisable.

Please think  few things

1. What she has done for you ? (Exept letting you down and developing frustation in you)

2. If she donot want to stay with you due to family pressure or any other issue,u  cannot make her stay with you.(Think in max love marriages girl marriages against the wish of her parents,wht happened to your wife,after marriage also she is not able to convince her parents,good drama she is doing)

3. If it would have been a college affair then we can  understand the family pressure & all.

4. Look its good that you are getting out of this mess without any big hassle. Think is you donot go for second motion she may file criminal cases and matter will go into litigation.

At last donot follow her like a looser,be brave and let her go.But if you you donot want to let her free,then file cases agains her and family members for trying to break your marriage. But believe me if you file one criminal cases against them they be in big soup but for that you need to have guts(If you realy love her u should have)

Expecting seniors reply

Originally posted by : Manpreet
	@ Depressed Soul & Saurav Your love for your so called wife is really praisable. Please think  few things 1. What she has done for you ? (Exept letting you down and developing frustation in you) 2. If she donot want to stay with you due to family pressure or any other issue,u  cannot make her stay with you.(Think in max love marriages girl marriages against the wish of her parents,wht happened to your wife,after marriage also she is not able to convince her parents,good drama she is doing) 3. If it would have been a college affair then we can  understand the family pressure & all. 4. Look its good that you are getting out of this mess without any big hassle. Think is you donot go for second motion she may file criminal cases and matter will go into litigation. At last donot follow her like a looser,be brave and let her go.But if you you donot want to let her free,then file cases agains her and family members for trying to break your marriage. But believe me if you file one criminal cases against them they be in big soup but for that you need to have guts(If you realy love her u should have) Expecting seniors reply

Dear Manpreet

Answers to your questions:

1. You are correct. 

2. you are correct again. I personally can say the reason I am not giving up is I want to give my 100% before the final divorce. I also do not want to be saying wrong/doing wrong things to my wife during this period.  The only reason is that I DO NOT WANT TO DIE by Guilt if the divorce happened due to my fault......That is the only reason I personally am not giving up. If it does not work out then so what?......I willa tleast have the confidence that I tried my best.

3. 3,4 and 5- Thank you for your wise advice.

That is EXACLY what I have done 10 days back when my wife told me not to contact her anymore. And of course NOTHING in this world can be forced.........even LOVE.

To give you my opinion..........I am AGAINST the whole concept of MARRIAGES ITSELF...........and especially against the concept of ARRANGED MARRIAGES.

This arranged marriage is a barbaric custom brought about by Brahmin priests and imposed on our society to maintain Caste system. It is prehistoric tradition and is not relevant anymore and should be done away with.

It is always better to do Love marriages like in the Western countries where Lovers meet, talk, have s*x for a number of years before they both finally decide and settle down and do marriage and then have kids.

This is a more Human culture.

Atleast concepts of Cheating, Wife running away, Wife 24*7 in Facebook/Whatsapp, then Wife filing cases etc.............will STOP HAPPENING FOR GOOD.

I hope you understand where I am going at.

Dear All,

Thank you for your guidance, support, suggestions and honest advice. The time has come for me to take a final and firm decision without thinking much. 

I have been advised the pros and cons of saying no for MCD. To start with, I am 100% sure getting divorced is not her decision but being forced upon by her uncle. Her parents are not even involved in this since they claim that they listen to the advice given by my FIL's elder brother but no one else. He is main person in this whole story who is trying to get us separated from what I have been seeing in this past.

To start of with, I don't wish to disclose the personal things and facts about the case in a public forum. But I can say with all my experience and after 2 years of knowing each other that this is not her decision. Otherwise she should have shown interest to speak to me and sort out all the differences. 

1. She was in constant touch with her parents on a daily basis in the midnight. God knows what was the conversation all about. But speaking to them daily for an hour doesn't go well with me during the midnight. Is this a valid point that she must have been brainwashed?

2. During the last 2 meetings, we were not allowed to speak to each other in private. When we were given chance to speak to each other in an open forum, my FIL's elder brother was present and constantly interfering and showing physical signs to my wife. Whenever I start to speak about the questions which were left unanswered, I was told by FIL's elder brother that we don't want to discuss all that. He kept interfering when I wanted to discuss something really important. 

3. Even during the last meeting, when my aunt went to convince her, I was not allowed to enter her house to sort out the differences.

Now considering all the points, I am pretty much convinced that she was not allowed to speak to me cause she may get prejudice and change her decision and decide to stay with me. That could be one of the reason. As a husband, I am not in a hurry to get divorced but they are in a hurry to get divorced and their lawyer is going to file a application in SC to waive off the 6 months period. I am not really sure why they are in such a hurry to rush things. Are they doing this before my wife changes her mind? 

There's also another possibility to all this. My FIL's elder brother is moving to USA to get settled permanently. Are they planning to get divorce decree soon so that they could take my wife with them? Other than this I don't there is a reason they are rushing things. 

I don't think she has any love affair with anyone else. That's not even possible in the widest dreams. She is a very honest girl. In fact she told me outside court during the final conversation that, "please don't think I will marry another good looking guy than you and live with him happily", If you have that thought please remove it from your mind. So I don't think extra marital affairs has any kind of role to play here. 

Regards

Originally posted by : Rahim
	You stayed for 22 months and never had s*x? Are u impotent? Sorry ur story is not believable and something is fishy somewhere. For all I care this is reason enough for ur wife to leave you

Mr. Rahim, 

I strongly request you not to use such words without knowing the facts. If my wife doesn't need s*x, how will I be called as impotent? Learn the facts and then comment. I have the report from the top most medical institute of INDIA (AIIMS) that I am neither impotent nor infertile. So the ball is in my wife's court to prove why she denied s*x for no apparent reason. 

Their can be many psychological reason why a girl/women can deny physical intimacy. So always don't point finger at a man. 

@Krishnaya Vasudevayya:  From you query it appears that you want to save both, your marriage as well as your money.  Well, if you are not willing to give her divorce, you are at liberty to withdraw your consent any moment and thus can postpone the event from happening for the present.  The courts do not accept the waiving of the minimum waiting period/cooling off period as mandated in such cases.  The purpose of this waiting period was to provide opportunities to the warring parties to arrive at a consensus/reconciliation which will help save the marriage in the meant time.  Even if  she is not willing to ask for alimony for the present, she will poisoned by her surroundings at a later date to seek for a hefty alimony but that comes when the contested divorce comes to a end in favor of dissolution of marriage, until then you dont have to worry about it but, as always, she may be misguided to lodge false police complaints u/s 498a or file a case against DV act and to pressurise you, the same may be turned against your parents too, you may be prepared to meet such an eventuality as well. You decision to save the marriage is appreciable but introspect the reason for the dispute and put your best efforts to patch up the difference and look for a resumption of broken marital voyage.

Originally posted by : T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate
	@Krishnaya Vasudevayya:  From you query it appears that you want to save both, your marriage as well as your money.  Well, if you are not willing to give her divorce, you are at liberty to withdraw your consent any moment and thus can postpone the event from happening for the present.  The courts do not accept the waiving of the minimum waiting period/cooling off period as mandated in such cases.  The purpose of this waiting period was to provide opportunities to the warring parties to arrive at a consensus/reconciliation which will help save the marriage in the meant time.  Even if  she is not willing to ask for alimony for the present, she will poisoned by her surroundings at a later date to seek for a hefty alimony but that comes when the contested divorce comes to a end in favor of dissolution of marriage, until then you dont have to worry about it but, as always, she may be misguided to lodge false police complaints u/s 498a or file a case against DV act and to pressurise you, the same may be turned against your parents too, you may be prepared to meet such an eventuality as well. You decision to save the marriage is appreciable but introspect the reason for the dispute and put your best efforts to patch up the difference and look for a resumption of broken marital voyage.

As learned advocate says,

It really comes down to how much you KNOW HER/HER NATURE/HER INTENTIONS WITH REGARDS TO YOU.

If those 3 are in the negative then be prepared for DV/Section and innumerable cases against you and your family.

If those 3 are in the positive then be prepared that she could be misguided by her Family/Friends to file cases against you and your family.

HIGHLY UNLIKELY, if those 3 are in the positive, she may be prepared for continouing an alliance with you irrespective of misguide by friends/family.

It is a call you have to take in the end.

Remember 2 things in life:

1. NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN BE FORCED OR ONE-SIDED. If she does not want to live with you then respect her decision. All this Parents misguiding etc are nonsense reasons. Is she a Kid?........cant she use her own brains?

2. For your problem make sure that you do not put your parents/family in Trouble as nothing is their fault if the case of yours takes a bad turn.

@ Saurav – You have mentioned it as a junk India. Please refrain from using those words. Even though there is lot of corruption in India. But India has its value and great cultural heritage.

There are widows and women after divorces who are working for themselves and their kids. Some of them are brave, confident and have achieved greater heights in their fields. Don’t generalize all women.

Women and Girls have pressure from Parents, Society, Fear and what not from abusers!!!

There are Indian men who have earned a Doctorate Degree and still see women in a different aspect.

In the Western world yes they go for Live in relationship, spend time, date each other, and understand each other, marry and yet the divorce rate is 50%. Why do you think the divorce rate is 50%?

Meaning if you take any two persons one is a divorcee.

There is a saying in the western world. Your kids and my kids are playing with our kids.

In Indian Context.

Some parents are very orthodox, some are narrow minded and some adults are narrow minded vice-versa. Even though there are educated people still some are childish, don’t take responsibilities and so on.

@Author – The consummation of the marriage forms more bonding between husband and wife, which makes them one.

If you want to build a roof (Marriage) there should be two walls (Husband and wife), so even if one wall falls then the roof will collapse (Marriage).

Two people have to cooperate then only Marriage is successful.

You can pray to God sincerely with Love and devotion. I wish you Good Luck!!!

very difficult to judge human. there r instances evn after no. of yrs. of marriage and elder off-springs still divorce is there.
one way or other fear and influence of someone is there on mind of human irrespective of age tht v forget it. due to these fear and influence, not only heinous crime take place bt they obey blindly w/o giving thought fr a second. it is the reality of soc.
human being is a complex. and non-predictable.
 

Give up your silly sentiment and be materialistic.  If you are confident that if you get a chance to talk to your wife differences can be removed and marital re-union will be possible then I advice you to withdraw your consent from MCD and let the matter be a contested one off course in that event you may face some other littigation those are to be cooked up by your in-laws as a measure of retaliation.

Originally posted by : Biswanath Roy
	Give up your silly sentiment and be materialistic.  If you are confident that if you get a chance to talk to your wife differences can be removed and marital re-union will be possible then I advice you to withdraw your consent from MCD and let the matter be a contested one off course in that event you may face some other littigation those are to be cooked up by your in-laws as a measure of retaliation.

Like the learned advocate says, Be prepared for retaliation if she is not the same boat as yours (in regards to continuing the marriage) and I hope you know whose side the Law belongs to in this country.