Nandha,

Too much worry at this point of time, openly express what is the requirement? Divorce or wiling to reconcile??Let her file all DV , 498a which definitely will be in your plate, the moment they realise that you aim for divorce.

So no point in worrying about it, rather stratergise to tackle them, be preapred through counsel to address 498a and DVand later file divorce on cruelty ground once cases were filed against you. Or else gather evidence for her wilfull desertion, you get what she is trying , at later stage you cannot file divorce claiming desertion as ground. Thats why her drama of rejoining if you sense it is not a genuine request. Hope you tried for MCD??

@mani,

thanks for your advice.

She will not agree for MCD. Even if I try for amicable solution, they will go for all the cases against me.

 Dear nandha in case you or your relatives have never been to her place in last 3 years file rcr at your place immediately.even if she files dv/498a after you have filed rcr it will be seen as a counter blast to rcr. however rcr should be filed only if u truly want her back. if she comes back u will be happy. if she doesn't  rcr case will prove her guilt,and help you in other cases as well. however key to rcr being useful is that you should file it before she files cases like divorce 498a etc .do it fast and handle it with equanimity.if you are honest in your intentions and  smart  in your response rcr can be very useful.

There are lots of it and buts in going to her place:

firstly wife thought as husband came her prestige will be there in her house that her husband is coming to take her back it is simple small thing, also her ego get satisfied and on this samll thing all dispute get end andshe came with you and you live wiht her happily.

but counter part of it is same as we fear she may insult , you even beat you it happende with me my FIL beat me badly and i did nothing just stood like a stone this gave me advantage as in our society अगर दामाद पर हाथ उठाया तो वो बहुत ही अशोब्नीय हरकत होती है , मेरे ससुर को जाती के बहार कर दिया गया सब लोग उनको ये कहने लगे लड़का याने मै तो सीधा साधा था इतनी मार  खाया पर एक शब्द भी नहीं बोला अगर मै गाली भी देता तो लोग कहते दामाद था ही इस लायक बाप जैसे ससुर को गाली दी अच्छा मारा साले को.

एनी वे अगर आप वहा जाते हो तो बड़ी घटना घट सकती है आप ४९८ अ के चक्कर में फंस सकते हो .

अगर रिस्क लेनें की हिम्मत है तो लो वरना अपने आपको सुरक्षित रख कर कोई तरीका अपना लो मैंने सेक्शन ०९ लगाया था जो मै जीत भी गया था और अब सेक्शन ०९ का एक्सेचुशन लगाया है

आप भी यही पोर्सस अपना सकते हो नहीं तो घर के दोनों तरफ़ के गन मान्य बुजुर्ग लोगो के सामने मामला हल करो ये जादा ठीक रहेगा अगर एक बार कोर्ट पुलिस शुरू हुआ तो वो लम्बा चलेगा पैसा चैन सब बर्बाद होगा.

Originally posted by : Nandha
	@mani,   thanks for your advice.   She will not agree for MCD. Even if I try for amicable solution, they will go for all the cases against me.

Dear Nandha,

You've got only two choices man.

One wait and watch approach, to see if she files a set of cases on you, then react accordingly.

File divorce petition directly.

You're worrying too much.  Hope this reply makes it a bit more clear for you.

Keep informing as to any developments.

@sujay,

this morning mywife's brother  and some his friends (young guys), barged into my home and asked me to come with them to bring my wife back. But I told them to bring her to my home, if she really wants to rejoin. They did not agree and left my place. 

Me & mom were the only person at home when they came.  Will there be any motive for their sudden visit to my home??  

thanks

Why not filing complaint in police that her brother along with their friend came to your place and abused you ? Also mention that you can identify each of them then see the drama. I bet if they come 2nd time to your home.

@Never give up Sir see the score card of Nanda ji he may be aware of all the facts ,he is on LCI so long time  ,still he doing and asking such type of queries, actually if the situation with her in laws is so worst he has to rush immediately to poiice station and at least an informational report  must be filed immediately this will help in his case proceedings.

any way Nanda ji is taking time if he got late then this will his faulure if any sad incident get happened ,

My Dear Frnd Nandha,

First of all I will not be agree with all the members…. So first of all exrmly sorry to all the members.

I may agree with Anish Trivedi at certain extent that if it can resolved out of the court/police station then its well & good.

But following are solutions from my side.

 1—Do you still really love her? If yes then do the following.

a—Directly call her & talk normally & romantically, convince her that you really love her but stucked up somewhere. By the time keep talking with her on phone and seek her idea/plan… If she is really wants to rejoin her response will be positive otherwise it will be negative then your picture will be more clear.

b—Never scare with her family if she loves you either her brother is worlds no. 1 gangster or terrorist… or whatever blaaa blaa blaa.

c—As being Indian citizen there is a tradition/culture that Husband should take her wife from her place (From the event of marriage to whenever she goes-It is for her respect, it is required)

d—Talk with her family too, and see how is their behaviour if positive then directly go to her place with some of your relatives & socially respected people (No police or legal people should be involved) and take her back… forget about the trap….498A/DV…MY FOOT…Be darer. (Have you seen bollywood movies? There are mainly 2 persons … 1 is hero and another one is villain … but in real life also everyone is interested in courageous, darer, fair, honest, un-egoistic & good hearted, HERO. No one is interested in fearful, trap maker, egoistic, gang maker, villain….. Every one praises the heroic act so do some generous & great acts so that her emotions should entrapped in you…. Because finally its all about the game of emotions.

MARRIAGE HAPPENS – (BCOZ OF EMOTIONS)…BREAKOFF HAPPENS – (BCOZ OF EMOTIONS)...IF REJOINING SHOULD HAPPEN (IT TOO BCOZ OF EMOTIONS..NOT TECHNICALLY)

e—if you will go much in to the legal or political or police matter something … then I am 1000% sure that you will invite unnecessary disasters to your life.

F—By going to her place you might be thinking abt entrapment but that much risk you will have to take that’s what HEROIC ACT is called….& if 498a/DV is concerned then anyways, if you behave like this coward then 100% 498A/DV is on the way…. & will hit you soon.

Now if your answer is NO,,,,,,, that you don’t love her …. And you don’t want her again in your life… Then directly file RCR and if she signes on the court papers for re-joining and you also sign it but outside the court don’t accept her … keep this continue ….. It means you should prove to the court that you heartfully want her back but in reality you will be denying to accept her…. Stretch this till more than a year …. Deliberately dramatically happily take another girl with you in front of her…Let her loose her patience..(In this case you may have to face that 498/DV along with your strategies)…. She will become angry and to take revenge she herself will remarry with someone else and you will be happy.

But ideally I don’t believe in separation so my heartful suggestion to you is please ignore my text in red…. Only refer blue text.

You can call me for help @ 9920374232

Completely disagree with " Sad victim" (Still ???) You pronounce the entire world is full of good people, fortunatley your wife must be one who emotionally acted and filed 498a and later repented and reversed to rejoin you. This is not case with everyone. There are meticulous metro wives who plan from few days of married life eyeing only property and money. You go and speak to them with honey dipped lips, still you will feel bitter blast on your face and their refusal. I did what all you said in blues but only seen blues at the end. because money is more than heroism and thats why people love even rowdies to elect them as their leaders.

Thanks Mani.... I am damn sure on this that any women on this earth is firstly interested in relationship and then money.... whether she may prostitute or terrorist.... it may be like that xyz is the person in whom she may not interested .... and ultimately everyone is interested in relationship first and then money....

Yes Mani, I was expecting this...

but where is my biggest opponent Mr. Anish Trivedi..

Hellowww Anish your attack please!!

U know your wife and her neture so u think what u do? I think u go her home with police and close friend (who is know u both) and discuss about future and if she is ready u both go to your home and enjoy happy life. 

Compromise settlement is best way in life.

It seems @Sad Victim is in strong influence of romantic bollywood movies.

I would suggest him to visit few SIFF meetings to know ground realities of 498A , DV wives and their families and stories of how people are getting harassed on each of the opportunity. After attending SIFF meeting  come back to the forum and then suggest pros and cons of rejoining after litigation.

Anyways , i dont want to spoil your re-joining party but please remember one thing that "All cases are not same and when you are in battlefield there are only two options Kill or to be killed. One can not shower your love and emotions on the battlefield where other party is very keen on harming you to the extent possible"

@sad victim - thanks for your comments. your descripttion about 'heroic act' is good, but i believe it's of no use in real life. When a wife is not ready to talk to husband on phone, refuses  letters from husband, does not listen to any of the elders from husband's side, do you still want to be a bollywood hero speaking a lengthy dialogue with a romantic background music??  

@aneesh, - i am still hoping for better things to happen for the sake of my kid.  They have already bribed local police station of my area, that's they had the guts to barge into my home. If i go to police station and give them a complaint, they will not accept it instead they will alert my in-laws. It would bring more troubles. Many members in LCI suggested to keep cool and calm is the only way. Let them get exhausted with all the methods they have. 

@nevergiveup - though they barged into my home, they did not misbehave. That's why I did not call the police.  

once again thanks to everyone who are supporting me with suggestions, advices and warnings! It has given confidence to face any sort of attacks from her side.  In this great country, an average middle class husband  works, earns, toils just for onething in life - a happy married life. When we had made a mistake of not choosing a good life partner, then we have to suffer with the help of gender biased laws.