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Anamolies in award of maintenance, require reversal

Page no : 3

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist)     08 November 2010

"about applicabilty of HMA on these people later on"

"Jab mian bibi razi to kya karega kazi"

So many direction and judgements r available to deal with such situation.


I have got no idea of American pple, but here we can say that "Desi murgi vilayati bol" western standards in Indian atmosphere/perspective.

Anyway let them enjoy and learn the lessons of life.



Nyaayapriya (Advocate for justice)     08 November 2010

You are true to your name Mr. hedevil and hydraheaded.

You have totally digressed and diverted from the matter at stake and abused and misused the portal.

The discussion was about the erring wives only; not all women in general.

If I were to become a law maker definitely I would set right the things as they should be. I know the crux of the matter thoroughly. I would reform everything to be ideal and accepted by one and all.

I do not have any business-like and commercial attitude in my advocacy. I am least bothered about my clientage. I do not want to make big money out of it.

As you suggested if I am at the helm of affairs,definitely I do not forget you. First of all I would put brakes to such abuse and misuse of public portals which should highly meaningful and constructive.

I will make you a chairman of the committee of reformation with all your other friends as members. I know very well you will mislead, misinterpret and land no where just like now, what has happened with your 'invaluable views'.

Thanks for the great advice and opinion of yours.  

Please don't mistake me. I would humbly request you not to be excited, intemperate and sarcastic. You should know that in this world there are many other clever, intelligent and well meaning people. Please excuse me if at all (I am sure not, because I have dealt with hard facts) I have displeased you. Thanks.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     08 November 2010

Are! Are! So much anger? For What? I do not think I gave you any untoward suggestion....This is the best possible way to bring about reforms, and some members have agreed to it also. 

And your finding and my findings may differ, so this is the portal where difference of opinions would be voiced. Show me a word and a phrase which is dirty and which caste aspersions on anyone? And yes,I still ask you the question if you deal with any woman client? With your biased opinion you may not then try to understand even when she has a  genuine story. No one is encouraging women to be untruthful in this portal, then why this anger ?

I wish you all the best for being at helm of the affairs, then you will be able to respect different opinions and projection of different realities. And if you invite me for  sharing some responsibilities, well, I will consider your ToR , and then see whether I would join or not!! Without my willingness, you can't make me anything!!!

All said, all threads have diversions, not only yours. And this thread has relevant diversions, even my suggestion to you to fight the election, was after all a very relevant suggestion and welcomes by one of the one of the  serious contributors in different threads. Show me that part of my replies where I had  implied about money oriented advocacy, so why this mention of money! 

As a thread starter, I would wish you  remain calm and collected. Like in all threads, diversions would happen in your thread also,  and you need to take them in stride!!This is how you can cope with the pressure of starting a thread!! 


Nyaayapriya (Advocate for justice)     08 November 2010

Thank you very much. Happy belated Deepavali.

hedevil hydraheaded (non professional )     08 November 2010

If your thanks and belated wishes are for me,  I sincerely reciprocate them. 

Kunal Mukherjee (Father)     09 November 2010

Family issues such as Alimony & Custody drag on and on in our Courts. Within months / years all parties involved are too emotionally drained and even to the best meaning advocates these issues become just a collection of files. To the judiciary and their staff it is another date on their calendar, and another, and another ....

Invariably, when the judicial process starts, one party is wronged and the other has wrested an advantage. Usually such advantage goes to the first mover and logically, most 'first-movers' are those who have planned out their strategies for a legal battle and therefore unlikely to be a true sufferer in SUCH matters.

Please do not make up your mind about my mindset at this stage. I am a student of human behaviour and I am merely stating the logical and rational arguements that go to SUGGEST that the 'first mover' is USUALLY not the sufferer & yet starts off with an advantage.

Finally, if any reader finds a flaw in the above proposal, I earnestly request him / her to think about ways to address the said flaw before tabling it on this forum as a 'problem'.

We ALL want to resolve these matters, do we not ?

For the two painful legal issues a normal man / woman can encounter in todays increasingly intolerant social fabric, namely custody & alimony, I have the following suggestions -

Custody - The default arrangement must be SHARED CUSTODY whereby the mother (and her family) keeps the child on all work days and the father (and his family) on all weekends / holidays. If both parents are working, father gets to enjoy ALTERNATE weekends to enable mother spend some leisure time with child.

Alimony - The default arrangement should be between 1/5th & 1/4th of husband's ITR earnings LESS wife's ITR earnings. Typically the latter should apply if there is a minor child staying with the mother and the former should apply if the couple is issueless.

I wish to emphasise that these are proposed as DEFAULT arrangements ONLY, to be enforced as law "takes its own course". There would be numerous exceptions, but all rules are meant to have exceptions. Any situation, that doesnt "fit", can be debated out and a rational treatment is bound to emerge.

As far as the trials are concerned, I strongly advocate that -

a) All custody related trials MUST be by a jury of peers where the gender balance MUST be in favour of the non-custodial parent.

b) Psychometric tests for children should be mandatory and lie-detector test for both parents should be permitted if asked for by O.P.

c) Lie-detector test should also be permitted in alimony / divorce cases.

Strangely we are all so vocal about whether or not technology should be permitted in games but are not willing to pursue the case of similar technology (maybe imperfect but then who said our judiciary is perfect ?) in matters where one is playing games with our lives and happiness !

Our judiciary is fond of maintaining status quo. Let status quo start from something like what is proposed above. Then let us see how long the cases drag on.

sivani (engineer)     10 November 2010

If a woman takes all the abuse and keeps quiet she is called a 'Bharati Nari'  and if she stands up to abuse and fights it out she is said to be 'Recklessness, lack of sentiments, emotions and feelings, ego and false pride, disrespect and degradation of values of life and human bondage, contempt of tradition and culture among others seem to be the underlining traits of the present day women'. This is the story of an Indian woman.

2 Like

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     10 November 2010

Well Said Sivani. 

And add another term also : she will be called a feminist!

As though feminism is an abusive term and as though feminism is not a powerful ideology!

The changes in Bhartiya Naari are unacceptable to the male psyche on the whole--there are exceptions of course and this contradiction is something which is producing more violent behaviour from male spouse. Finance becomes a strong rope in their hands to strangulate wives...

So they transform themselves into Khomachewala, Rehadiwala and Chaiwala....!

But as Roshni has said, it is better to fight the battle, whether you win or not. It is fight the battle for one's self respect and dignity and it is worth it, irrespective of the outcome. At least one would be able to tell oneself, I did my best to protect my is a difficult journey, but these are the challenges women have to face, in their journey against injustice and to say a firm NO to Violence.

Simple Life (Pensioner)     11 November 2010

My dear Learned Countrymen

The reality as i see is that in the end nobody actually wins

The winner is (H or W) is how much the lawyer presents and in what mood the Hon'ble sits making his decision.  My case has been in the courts for past eight and half years and I had the opportunity and exposure to the 'Best' Judges and Judgements (like you said contradictory to each other) - thrice in Supreme Court, Seven times in Chennai High Court and seen 5 Judges in Sessions Court

Every time I face a new Judge or a new petition I have to relive the whole 'Episode' and eventually at the end the tale goes on and on and on

The grant of interim / exparte orders should be completely stopped.  Give the decision AFTER conducting the COMPLETE inquiry, because, this exparte order / interim relief becomes a bargaining chip for these shrewed ladies (again like you said, where the Hon'ble judge is so inclined to provide to the 'damsel in distress' than to settle the real issue).  In my instance, all these 8+ years the petitions and hearing is being done only for the exparte order and NOTHING ELSE

Like the learned friends suggested to start a movement, all that would be nice, so long you are not involving you are not betting/playing with precious time and youth, after that all these hearing, petitions and court cases is of little value to whoever gets the better or worse

Next these family disputes u/s 125 CrPC is treated akin to the normal industrial or economic offence and not bearing in mind the nature of human emotions, time and money, it is mostly whose ego is appreciated in the courts !!!

Incidently, reversal, reconsideration, reconsideration, actual allotment etc... are out of the view of these court orders.  Orders once issued is first to be carried out, what ever the real position (financial/emotional or otherwise) of the husband/wife (?) may be

Its more like the famous 'plywood' advertisement, the argument goes on, rest all remain the same

WHO CARES .........

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