I am a software engineer and I got married to raman(name changed) on Feb 2013, and we were engaged 6 months before marriage.
Before marriage when we were engaged Raman used to speak well. But here also I want to add one thing we used to talk about our relations and his relations most of the time. When I used to ask him about what you like and more questions as about him he used to tell I am not specific about anything and used to defer questions where we could get too close. I used to think that probably he was shy and kept quite. And also I want to mention that he used to travel to his office which is in Whitefield with his lady colleague everyday and he used to many times talk only about her and her daughter many times. Initially though I did not like it, I kept quite but after a while it was very irksome for me to listen about some other lady, eventhough she was married. So I told I would not want to listen more about his friend and want to know more about him and his family. He agreed not to talk about her and though I observed he spoke little he used to speak OK.
After marriage things started to change. On the 1st night itself he told me that he wants to have physical relationship only after we understood each other. I would like to mention here that I had told him that it would be better that we have kids after 2 yes and we could use condoms when we want to have relationship. So I thought by the way he told that probably he is referring to that and probably he is also very shy to enter into relationship the very 1st day, so I agreed. After spending 1st night in hotel we went home and when sleeping in their home when I was about to close the door of the room, he told that he always slept with the door open and he would not like it if it was closed, I was shocked and then I explained him that it is not appropriate for a newly married couple to sleep with the doors open,then he agreed.
After that in honeymoon also he did not come close to me, here I would like to mention that not only was did he ask for relationship, not was he in anyway behaving that he wants to be close, he used to walk seperately, sit seperately and maintain the distance. I thought probably he was shy. But in honeymoon I asked for the relationship and he took or acted as though he dint understand immediately. After that there were some close moments, but he used to never try to enter intercource and used to not take out his clothes all the time.
After we came back from honeymoon he started avoiding relationship at all with me, he used to come late from office by 9.30-10pm most of the times and he used to not look at me or talk with me. He used to sleep before me and if I used to wake him and tell him to speak at least for 2min before sleeping he used to scold me very badly telling he will not get sleep later. So I stopped speaking to him on weekdays. I would like to tell that when he used to come from office, even though I was in the room at that time he used to just keep his bag and go out to change the clothes, he used to not even look at me or talk to me, I used to feel very bad and lonely most of the time. Only his mother used to speak properly with me, his father also used to speak very less to everyone including my mother in law. I used to tell him that I feel very bad that he does not even speak to me for 2min everyday, he used to tell he is like dis only and that I could speak to his mother if I felt bored.
Then he started making all small things and misunderstandings into big arguments and tell that as reason for not talking with me. He started to totally avoid me. I complained at least we can go out on weekends, he used to tell he was tired, but when I insisted he used to just take me to some picture and there used to be no attempt of conversation on the way, eventhough I tried to make he used to cut it short. And he avoided going for long drive or to go for dinner with me as he would be forced to talk during that time.
I tried a lot to convince him that we should talk and sort out our differences, but he used to never agree, he used to tell that he will not talk much and I have to understand him by not speaking with him. I want to mention here that he used to talk very well with my parents and his friends and outsiders and this behaviour of not talking was pi only with me and to some extent his family too, but at least he used to talk a little bit to his mom and dad whenever needed but was nil with me.
As dis tirade was not ending and I could not know what to do I told all this to my mom , she advised me that not having physical relationship was abnormal in newly married couples and that I should ask for it. After dis even I read many articles in Google and told him that having good understanding and having physical relationship is 2 sides of the same coin and both is necessary for a good married relationship, but though I tried to convince him like this many times, he would not agree and he used to in turn tell that we need to have good understanding and that as there were many differences it would not be appropriate for us to get physical. And even for understanding he was not ready to speak properly to sort out differences, some times he used to tell that I will change and start talking and after some days he used to again tell that I am like did and you should understand me by not talking. I would also like to mention that many times he has avoided relationship by sleeping late knowing that I would be wake in the room.
After seeing all this for 4 1/2 months I have come back to my mom place. And I could only conclude for his behaviour and some articles that I have read in Google that he might be impotent. I want to file a case of impotence against him to get divorce, but I don't have any proof. After coming back he is telling that he would be willing to come to any marriage counceller and also even for the potency test. I want to get this potency test done for him and me also. Can you suggest where I should go to get this done?
Can any of the lawyers respond to this question?