Monika 09 July 2015

Adultery and exploitation in marriage.

I married this man 5 years ago. Immediately after we completed 1 yr I came to know hes having an affair with one of his colleagues and used to get her home n introduced her to his family and friends as his future wife without my knowledge. As i had got married against my family's will and did a court marriage i could not share this problem with them and i wasnt allowed to talk to any one by his mother and sister. Financially and physically he exploited me completely using ma credit card, sold my gold and everything i had to please the other girl and gift his mom things whar she wanted. Physically i had no medical aid what doctors asked me to take as i was suffering from too many complications. When my family came to know about this they asked me to come back home and stay with them as i had no place and money. I started working after shifting to my family home and even after that he asked me for money and called me and abused me if i did give him money or take his calk he made me scared by saying he will create scene at my work place and the place where i live. Its been 4 yrs and im staying at ma family's home and everytime I ask him for divorce he makes some or the other excuses and when my uncle spoke to him about the alimony for all he made spend for his and his mother's leasures,he said he will not give me a penny as we dont have kids and the marriage is nulify as we have being staying separately for more then 3 yrs. I hardly earn hand to mouth i had to change the city as people started taunting my family as i was a disgrace to them. I dont want to fight the case as ma family will go thru alot and have already made them suffer more then they could take it. It would be nice if you'll can help me find a solution to this mistake of life. Thank you.

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2 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 09 July 2015

@ Author,

1. Marriage was not a mistake.Ganesha was not consulted before marriage hence you are feeling it to be a mistake !

2. Make up your final mind after discussing with elders in your family if you want to live in a abusive relationship or want freedom as you said you are empowering yourself.

3. If your answer is NO, then stay where you are and do engage yourself in productive pursuits.

4. If your answer is YES, then seek help of a able bodied male in your family and request him to assist you in finding a local jurisdiction advocate. Via this advocate file a petition for civil divorce in a civil court under mental cruelties grounds and a complaint application in a criminal court for acts of domestic - mental - economic violence you have suffered from him. Do mention facts in either/both suit matters. In the civil court also file an separate application barring him re-marriage till pendency of your civil divorce suit matter.

5. Both suit matters will take very long time to get you any final relief’s, yet your intention to dissolve your marriage will be loud and clear and via aforesaid suggested separate application you are seeking relief to bar him of his re-marriage too which may keep him under check and balance of his extra-marital flings as hinted in your brief.

6. During pendency of above two main suit matters if there is a break-even discussion and / or offer of some kind of settlement (mutual consent divorce) then do avail of such possibilities cautiously (this stage may not come your way so soon so patience is key) and until then carry on with your productive pursuits.

7. Do not jump advised protocol queue and emotionally file complaint of adultery howsoever advised. Reason is simple, unless you have pic proof of both in their birthday cloths and/or in intimate compromising position and/or strict proof of his re-marriage, your complaint case lis will always stand in weak grounds.

8. Suggested not to sit tight, as no relief from depression/stress read with family status elevation will happen irrespective what society says. Society will always say what they wish to for a reason it is not their life and n India casting impressions on every second neighbor is favourite pastime of neighborhood aunties and bhabies. Some will also say to live in same relation as they are also being abused so what !

9. Todays’ India has moved on and D (divorce) word is no more bad word.

"el que no llora, no mama"; "the crying baby gets the milk", touches up as reply to your other emotional share herein.

Above are the only available options currently advisable to you. However, do read last 150 discussions here to understand basic legal questions that you may jump to as soon as you finish reading this reply.

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