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O. Haridasan (Service)     08 August 2010

90:10 principle

It was a nice morning for Mr.A and the daily routine was taking its normal course. Fully dressed up, the gentleman came to the breakfast table and started eating. Opposite to the table, was his affectionate daughter dressed up for her lower primary school and almost finishing her morsel. While reaching for her glass of milk, the poor girl accidentally spilled the cup of coffee which spoiled the gentlemen's suit. Enraged, Mr.A gave a mouthful to the girl and also scolded his wife for the careless manner in which she had kept the cup of coffee. Left with no choice, fumingly he went upstairs to change his suits. With the new suits on, he found his daughter weeping downstairs. By the time she was consoled, the school bus had left leaving him with no choice other than leaving for office via the school. Already late, he over-sped the car earning a reprimand from the policeman and a challan for Rs.1000 as fine. Dropping his daughter at school, and not waiting for her farewell wave, he reached the office to find the parking space occupied. Cursing the guard, he parked the vehicle under a tree. Still cursing, Mr.A reached his chair only to be informed that his boss had called him thrice. Casting angry stares at the errand boy, he contacted the boss only to earn another reprimand. In the evening, when he reached home he found an apparent wedge in his relation with his wife and daughter.

Now think of the situation. Spilling the coffee was an incident out of our control. So is a punctured tyre or a late train or plane. Somebody falling sick is another such uncontrollable situation. Such incidents fall under the category of the 10 in the 90:10 principle, which I had read some times back.

Now, let us rewind the morning incident. Suppose the gentleman had responded to the spilling of coffee in a more mature manner through a gentle reprimand to her "Don't worry, baby. Be careful next time".  She could have understood it better, would not have been late for the school bus, he would not have been late in the office and the day would have gone peacefully. Both the wife and the daughter must have appreciated and respected him for his positive mental set up. 

Our approach to a situation falls in the 90 of the 90:10 principle. We make or break our day. Fate cannot have any hand in it. In effect, what it means is that one who is in control of his life is in control of his relationships as well as approach to life and there cannot be any occasion to curse the fate.

I found the idea very practical and earthly. And I, really, am finding the beauty of it, whenever I try to implement it. What about you? If you are not in the category of the self controlled lot, please make a try. May be you will also succeed over a period of time and notice the difference.


 3 Replies

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist)     08 August 2010

Very good lesson, Nice appraoch. Act sensibly.

1 Like

G.Padmanabhan (Advocate)     09 August 2010

Thanks, Mr.Haridasan. It's a lovely reminder of the need to stay cool in today's fast paced world.

1 Like

Daksh (Student)     09 August 2010

Dear Mr.Haridasan,

These things are dear to those who live with these principles and do not believe in only delivering sermons.  Thanks a tonne for such informative, enlightening and humility filled post.  Kudos for your humility in conveying such strong message in such modest manner.

It is really appreciable and we should also learn from the same.  Kindly keep up the good work going.

Best Regards


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