Woman gets in from mutual consent

Thanks Rajiv,

Letting go and living a better life is what I want. He has mentally and physically abused me . My child has suffered and had already going thru therapy. it is better  to come out of this relationship. I never dreamt of getting out of a relationship .So I was holding on thinking that this man will come back. But he doesnt love his own child ,what can I say abt loving or caring for me.

Hi Everyone,

thanks for your support and help to all the rplies I hv recieved. now my husband has sent a letter that he will keep the custody of child. bear all expenses.and giving visitation rights to me.and the property in joint name,he will sell and distribute as per contribution.And tht there will be mutual consent and 6 months waive off.

This is not what I wanted. I wanted the custody and mainentenace for my child and residence for myself. Now what to do in this case. Can anyone let me know how to deal with this situation.

Thanks in advance.

Originally posted by : PARI
	Hi Everyone, thanks for your support and help to all the rplies I hv recieved. now my husband has sent a letter that he will keep the custody of child. bear all expenses.and giving visitation rights to me.and the property in joint name,he will sell and distribute as per contribution.And tht there will be mutual consent and 6 months waive off. This is not what I wanted. I wanted the custody and mainentenace for my child and residence for myself. Now what to do in this case. Can anyone let me know how to deal with this situation. Thanks in advance.

Litigitation is dirty 

In life we wish for a lot of things but it does not happen our way .

you can take a horse to the water but cant force it to drink and so is life 

You can file for custody under gaurdians and wards act and it would take years to come to a judgement . File a reply to your husband stating that the both of you can work out a shared parenting plan and accordingly the maintanence for the child as it is co- extensive and adhere to it as a child requires the love of both parents . 

Hi Stanley.

Thxs for your quick reply. In such a case if I dont agree for divorce until my conditions are met. how abt tht?

he has mentioned abt parenting plan ,tht both shud visit the child,take him for vacations seperatley and celebrate birthday together.so far he has not done  anything of this when staying together ?How can I agree for mutual consent.

Let me know how can I get what I want.

A house and maintenance for my child.

Thanks again.

Originally posted by : PARI
	Hi Everyone, thanks for your support and help to all the rplies I hv recieved. now my husband has sent a letter that he will keep the custody of child. bear all expenses.and giving visitation rights to me.and the property in joint name,he will sell and distribute as per contribution.And tht there will be mutual consent and 6 months waive off. This is not what I wanted. I wanted the custody and mainentenace for my child and residence for myself. Now what to do in this case. Can anyone let me know how to deal with this situation. Thanks in advance.

Golden opportunity, just grab it.

I mean no need of taking care of child, looking after child, no need of asking for maintenance from husband for maintaining the child.  That is a great relief.  You are working.  He has told that he will give visitation rights, just go visit child whenever you feel like, and get it mentioned in the MOU.

Rest will be fine.

If you dont want the above and want the child, then its happy roaming to court halls, the day until your name would have gotten changed into a number, and roaming to court halls would become a routine, where you will curse yourself why did I ask for custody; and the child..? The child will go through a lot of mental trauma which would be detrimental to its mental well being and physical well being too.

Let the ego go now, at least this time around, let your ego not tear the child apart.

She is being greedy now.

Originally posted by : Helping Hand !
	Golden opportunity, just grab it. I mean no need of taking care of child, looking after child, no need of asking for maintenance from husband for maintaining the child.  That is a great relief.  You are working.  He has told that he will give visitation rights, just go visit child whenever you feel like, and get it mentioned in the MOU. Rest will be fine. If you dont want the above and want the child, then its happy roaming to court halls, the day until your name would have gotten changed into a number, and roaming to court halls would become a routine, where you will curse yourself why did I ask for custody; and the child..? The child will go through a lot of mental trauma which would be detrimental to its mental well being and physical well being too. Let the ego go now, at least this time around, let your ego not tear the child apart.

ROTFL 

@ Author 

This is a true and @ Helping hand is relating his facts from his experience of court rounds .And belive me just out of experience visit a court and talk to a no of people fighting their cases than only would you realise . Tarik pher tarik you will face . Finding a loo for a women is a difficult task lest a women bear a child who would have to be breast fed is a task which cannot be taught off . And last off all with all these court cases you child would be in a disturbed state . Suffering both mentally and physcially .

Th only reason why I want the child is,he has not lived without me. He is suffering from ADHD.He is unsecured without me.my husband know this very well.He is sure I will ask him custody,I am getting him treated and my parents are taking his lot of care. My dad is ready to leave the job for his well being though they are not financially well off. Cause he is does everything so far for my son what a father is actually suppose to do. I am wondering how my husband will take care .yeah he has lot of money.But care who will take. He is at home only to sleep in the night. In such a condition how can I trust if my child will be taken care of.

I just wnt best treatment and good education for my child. yes tht requires money .so I need that.

But reading all this ,I am confused.Shud I let go my baby without whom I hv not spent a single day.I might die without him.There is no way to say how much I love him.

Shared parenting is the answer !!

Personally it seems the child is better off under you...But if you wanna get remarried,then it may be better for him to stay with his father as this might be a consideration for future grooms.Take a good decision and consult a lawyer.

@red

Wise words from red here lady "But if you wanna get remarried,then it may be better for him to stay with his father as this might be a consideration for future grooms."

Further to what I've told..

When there is absolutely no regard whatsoever to the basic relation as husband and wife, one should not think much to part with the kid.  Though painful, has its own advantages as "red" has put.

Trying to have the kid with you via filing a custody case is all ok.

But there are some things which you both will have to consider.

1.  The kid is already 5+ years, is able to understand many things of what is happeing around him.  Mainly the friction between the parents.

2.  You will have a tough time convincing the kid as to what happened between you both that you wished to part ways, [remember, it is not just for you, its for him too].

3.  Eventually, the child will stop trusting either the woman, or the father and will develop a sense of unconcious hidden anger toward them.

4.  If either of you may have to lie about what actuall happened etc to the kid, once the kid is mature enough and comes to know about the lie, he was told about the other parent etc, the child will stop trusting you.

5.  If you keep hiding things and not lie, the kid will grow up to be a confused one.

6.  If you tell in detail as to what happened between the two of you and that you parted ways, the child will grow up to be not believing in marriage.

Eitherways you both have succeded in destroying a kids life.  Congratulations on that to both of your ego's.

@Pari

You are right, your husband knows that you want the child.

May be he does not want the custody of child but asking for it on paper to show that he is a responsible person. If he is really responsible, then ask him to provide the plan, as to who will take care of the child, when he will be at office/business? Get his plan in writing. If you are convinced then accept the offer. Otherwise you define your terms.

@Parora

This was really a good suggestion .I have asked him for the plan as per your advise as well as residential security for me.He has asked for 3 to 4 days to reply.They were in so hurry, intially my  husband and his dad were calling my dad everyday till we replied to his notice.