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Rita---------- (T)     24 April 2014

Mcd or contested divorce

Need help.

I am married for 10 + years now and have 8 yrs daughter.My husband since 4 years was harassing me for divorce.I finally agreed as he was providing house.He asked my lawyer to prepare draft petition.But after sending them the draft,they did not reply back.One fine day he removed all my stuff from the house and moved it to another of our house and told me come there and stay with him.

Now after so much harassment ,my lawyer said you don't go now.Since then I am staying at my parents place.But course of action should I TAKE.M husband is in a hurry for divorce and not me.Should I wait for any action from his end.Or I need to act on it. My daughter is with me.Should I file for divorce or again wait for him to file for divorce,

Please advise,



Learning

 25 Replies

Rita---------- (T)     24 April 2014

urgently need help!

Someone please respond


(Guest)

Dear Rita,

When both of u want a divorce and you said that your husband in in hurry, how you came to know he is in hurry and what is the reason for this.  If it is true, you may pursue him to file a mutual divorce petition, which will be decided within 6 months maximum.  Before going to file, please settle about the custody of your daughter and maintenance, alimony etc. before filing the petition.  When he is in hurry u have  a advantageous position

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     24 April 2014

The first thing you need to do is to understand the fundamentals of law concerning divorce and keep your emotions on the side. It is very difficult to get divorce in general unless the adverse party looks at it as an opportunity and even "admits" to some allegations just so a divorce is granted.  Divorce is usually sought on the basis of Desertion and Cruelty. Other basis usually fall into these categories. Hopefully I have not missed anything. So, given your situation, it will be difficult for you to prove either of these two if you file for divorce. But look at it another way... let us say you filed divorce based upon desertion or cruelty. What will he do?


He can either admit to some of the allegations looking at it as an opportunity to get a quick divorce or he can file a counter-petition seeking divorce on ground that you deserted him and/or were cruel to him.


If he prevails in his allegations, it may severely impact your right to maintenance... though maintenance of your child will still be provided for.  You ought not to put yourself in a situation where he is given the opportunity to claim that you have deserted him. A wife who refuses to stay with her husband (unless he makes it impossible for her to be with her) is disqualified from seeking maintenance. Please keep that in mind.


My general advice in divorce matters is to be patient and let the other party do the filing first. You can always file a counter-petition or counter-claim or whatever counter- which most advocates blissfully fail to do and just start contesting the original filing.


You better have all the evidence with you that you are and always were willing to stay with him. Any deviation from this will impact your case adversely. So, try to get back with him... and make sure you have the evidence to prove it.  This should be your litigation strategy irrespective of what your ultimate intent or objective is.


GOOD LUCK!!!

 

Rita---------- (T)     25 April 2014

Hi Samir,

Thanks for  the reply.We had send 1 official letter  telling him wht he did was wrong and we will take legal action.But tht is also  now 4 months and my lawyer said that we will send him petition in such a way that I can enter the house with him making proper arrangements.But my lawyer is somehow delaying in making that pettion as he is saying that he has to make strong framework  and I am worried since it is 4 months now.When can at the earliest he can say that I deserted him.We had called police when he removed my stuff so how can he say that I deserted him. 

Kindly pls respond how he can prove that I deserted him after reading my above statements.

 

 

 

Originally posted by : Samir N (2HelpU)


The first thing you need to do is to understand the fundamentals of law concerning divorce and keep your emotions on the side. It is very difficult to get divorce in general unless the adverse party looks at it as an opportunity and even "admits" to some allegations just so a divorce is granted.  Divorce is usually sought on the basis of Desertion and Cruelty. Other basis usually fall into these categories. Hopefully I have not missed anything. So, given your situation, it will be difficult for you to prove either of these two if you file for divorce. But look at it another way... let us say you filed divorce based upon desertion or cruelty. What will he do?


He can either admit to some of the allegations looking at it as an opportunity to get a quick divorce or he can file a counter-petition seeking divorce on ground that you deserted him and/or were cruel to him.


If he prevails in his allegations, it may severely impact your right to maintenance... though maintenance of your child will still be provided for.  You ought not to put yourself in a situation where he is given the opportunity to claim that you have deserted him. A wife who refuses to stay with her husband (unless he makes it impossible for her to be with her) is disqualified from seeking maintenance. Please keep that in mind.


My general advice in divorce matters is to be patient and let the other party do the filing first. You can always file a counter-petition or counter-claim or whatever counter- which most advocates blissfully fail to do and just start contesting the original filing.


You better have all the evidence with you that you are and always were willing to stay with him. Any deviation from this will impact your case adversely. So, try to get back with him... and make sure you have the evidence to prove it.  This should be your litigation strategy irrespective of what your ultimate intent or objective is.


GOOD LUCK!!!

 

Rita---------- (T)     25 April 2014

Hi Samir,

Thanks for  the reply.We had send 1 official letter  telling him wht he did was wrong and we will take legal action.But tht is also  now 4 months and my lawyer said that we will send him petition in such a way that I can enter the house with him making proper arrangements.But my lawyer is somehow delaying in making that petition as he is saying that he has to make strong framework  and I am worried since it is 4 months now.When can at the earliest he can say that I deserted him.We had called police when he removed my stuff so how can he say that I deserted him. 

Kindly pls respond how he can prove that I deserted him after reading my above statements.

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate)     25 April 2014

Your husband is legally, moraly and socially liable to provide a house and maintenance for yourself and your child.

File a case for house and maintenance under the provisions of section 12 of the Protection of Women from Domestic Voilence Act.

If your lawyer is not proceeding as you stated, change hi/her instantly.

Rita---------- (T)     25 April 2014

Hi All,

Thank you all for  your reply.I got a call from baliff to collect court'' sermon.My lawyer was always saying lets wait for their reply or their action. As he was aware that my husband needs divorce as he wants to marry another woman.

but it was so many months I was really tensed. Thanks all again for answering my query.

 

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     25 April 2014

If you have proof that he threw you and your daughter out, then you are absolutely right that the question of you deserting him simply does not rise and he cannot claim that. However, what concerns me is your statement "moved it to another of our house and told me come there and stay with him." So he did give you an option to stay with him in another house. Instead you chose to stay with your parents. This can work against you for sure unless you can claim and prove that the other house was totally inferior to the one you were staying in originally and/or that he had an ulterior motive in shifting you to the new house.


If he has provided you alternate arrangements under Right to Residence and was willing to stay with you,  you may not prevail by filing a DV case to seek residence or maintenance.


One needs to know more facts on why you chose not to go to the alternate residence and/or why he was asking you to go there, before giving you proper advice. Advocates will encourage you to file DV and other cases but anyone asking you to do so, without having all the facts before them, are shooting in the dark. You will be wasting your time and monies for no reason.


Your petition for maintenance (whether filed under DV, 125 CrPC or any other Act) is also dependent on the facts of why you are refusing to stay in the alternate residence.   


On the other hand... if he proves that he wanted to stay with you and you have chosen not to, he can certainly claim desertion by you AFTER TWO YEARS of continuous desertion.


Lady, I answered your post because you have a young daughter. You should keep HER INTEREST above yours and hopefully your husband will do the same.  Please do not go for filing any DV or 498 or other such cases, unless you absolutely must and have exhausted all other choices and are sure that the facts of your case will enable you to get some relief. Filing such cases will be the end of any hope that you may have of salvaging the family environment for your daughter. You and your husband owe it to your daughter to sacrifice your egos and personal interests for your daughter's sake. Keep that in mind at all times... Be assured that that is rarely any advocate's priority. 

Rita---------- (T)     25 April 2014

Hi Samir,

 

Thanks for the broad view.My lawyer also did not want to go for DV.So he said lets wait for his action. My husband is least bother about his child.We had already informed him and his parents that we will leave the house once my child exams are over.But neither he or his parents were bothered about that. Till date his parents have not come back to stay in their house.

The other house does not have anything other than 2 mattresses and overnight he shifted the stuff for which we did police complain.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     26 April 2014

Apply for maintenance AND interim maintenance under different Acts at the same time for you AND your daughter. If he is asking for divorce, file a counter- petition to seek divorce based upon your allegations. Do not just defend his allegations (presuming that you want divorce too). If he wants to marry someone else, then its too late to salvage your marriage. DO not get caught in unneeded litigation. Do not file DV  or 498 cases. They serve no purpose other than to enrich advocates. Make sure that you get sufficient maintenance and right to residence. Ask for retroactive maintenance. Take good care of  your kid. Move on with life...

1 Like

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     26 April 2014

Firstly challenge his case in the court appropriately, see what is he upto and then decide next course of legal action as per the advise of your lawyer.
2 Like

Rita---------- (T)     26 April 2014

I need to go and collect the notice from court first.Though my lawyer knows it is divorce petition,we will discuss next steps after reading it.

Lawyer said it will  tht I have harassed my inlaws, so they moved out and simliar such things written in it and he would have asked on basis of mental cruelty on him ,he needs divorce. 

I have 2 questions

1.What if after everything he gets divorce,will the judge still ask him to provide me with house and since I  am also earning ,Will the judge ask him to give me mainentance or just for my daughter.

2.Also he is paying EMI of the house where he has shifted my stuff ,so do I need to pay EMI just because he has put my name in the flat documents as well as on loan papers as I am co borrower.

FYI-

{His family is very rich but to harass me so that I leave their house they did a lot.In India do we really get justice.In police stn also no one listens to me and he behaves there also as if he is victim.

After all this harassment from him and  police not helping I really dont believe in justice.What they show in movies I now believe that it really happens}.

Rita---------- (T)     26 April 2014

I need to go and collect the notice from court first.Though my lawyer knows it is divorce petition,we will discuss next steps after reading it.

Lawyer said it will  tht I have harassed my inlaws, so they moved out and simliar such things written in it and he would have asked on basis of mental cruelty on him ,he needs divorce. 

I have 2 questions

1.What if after everything he gets divorce,will the judge still ask him to provide me with house and since I  am also earning ,Will the judge ask him to give me mainentance or just for my daughter.

2.Also he is paying EMI of the house where he has shifted my stuff ,so do I need to pay EMI just because he has put my name in the flat documents as well as on loan papers as I am co borrower.

FYI-

{His family is very rich but to harass me so that I leave their house they did a lot.In India do we really get justice.In police stn also no one listens to me and he behaves there also as if he is victim.

After all this harassment from him and  police not helping I really dont believe in justice.What they show in movies I now believe that it really happens}.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     26 April 2014

@Rita: to your latest questions:

1.What if after everything he gets divorce,will the judge still ask him to provide me with house and since I  am also earning ,Will the judge ask him to give me mainentance or just for my daughter?

Judge has got no business to ask him to provide you with shelter or maintenance, it is you who have to apply for residential rights and maintenance for you as well as for your child. Though you will not be entitled since you are employed, your child will be eligible for maintenance amount from him.

2.Also he is paying EMI of the house where he has shifted my stuff ,so do I need to pay EMI just because he has put my name in the flat documents as well as on loan papers as I am co borrower.

If you are the co-applicant, in the event of his failure to pay the EMI, you may have to pay that or else the property will be seized by the bankers for default in repayment and will be brought to auction.

 

Indian judicial system is the best system though there are few corrupt officials in many departments.  Have faith and be confident, you will certainly win over all the difficult situations.

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