I want to save my marriage

Mr rajendra my parents had brought me up with full honesty & tought me good ethics of life.

Even i can say that i have seen few lawyers who's actual fee is something else and they charge their desire amount because of the current situation. Please suggest what should i do with them.

By the way My father (who is no more now) had spent 20 lacs on my marriage but i m not looking for money at all i want my dignity & pride back. Which i think is your responsibility as a legal adviser 

Thanks a lot

Aarti,

Hire some good local lawyer and talk to him.

And for further don't disclose your emotion in public forum.

All the best.

I m just looking help from all of you nothing else.

Thanks

Non-consummation of marriage owing to impotency of the spouse is the only ground for divorce.  However sometimes wilful refusal to participate will become a ground for cruelty and the spouse in grievance gets eligible for divorce under grounds of cruelty.  So please learn that it is not the ground for non-consummation of marriage if you are not an impotent, and wilful refusal to consummate is shown as ground to assert cruelty, then convince the court that you have never wilfully refused to consummate marriage. That will defeat his divorce petition and your marriage will be saved.

Just fight it out in the court by engaging a local lawyer. That's all I can say.

No i never refused the same. Even i tried many time with him. I m sorry i may be wrong , but i want to say that i found him mentally weak in same.

@ Author,

Your marriage cannot be saved at the end of civil trial. 

Reasoning:

Even at the end if his S. 12 (1) (a) HMA Petition is dismissed due to lack of fulfilling burden of proof your relationship at that time would have reached a stage where you have to make a decision to live like that or part amicably by filing S. 27 HMA (for stridhan) r/w S. 25 HMA (for alimony). The second reasoning is that 20 L on marriage was spent on a cultured and god fearing girl's wedding whose father is no more so you will be enveloped by advises of your circle of advisers during the trial to counter react as your side needs social face saving and in my opinion there is no harm to part with your stridhan as you are still eligible as new bride for s aimple reason the 'consummation' has not yet complete.

Here are the round robin law that made me say what I said in opening line above.

The suit that he has filed based on your first query wordings speaks of usage of S. 12

(1) (a) HMA and it can be dissected as under to touch the reasoning above:

(I) That the marriage has not been consummated; and

(II) That the non consummation is due to the impotence of the respondent. [This is what he has charged you with and later in one of your reply you revealed here that "it is due to his mental weakness" that he is unable to consummate it though several instances you tried, which is nothing but counter allegation to his suit in natural way by a respondent spouse when S. 12 (1) (a) are filed]

CONSUMATION OF MARRIAGE means full and normal s*xual intercourse between married person. A marriage is consummated by s*xual intercourse. It consists in the penetration by the male genital organ into the female genital organ. Full and complete penetration is an essential ingredient of ordinary and complete intercourse. Partial, imperfect or transient intercourse of not Consummation. The degree of s*xual satisfaction obtained by the parties is irrelevant. Consummation may be proved by medical evidence which I am not touching here for want of nature of your query.

Whereas IMPOTENCY is the inability to have complete and normal s*xual intercourse. It may arise from a "physical defect in either partner or from a psychological (mental) barrier" amounting to invisible repugnance on the part of one to have s*xual relations with that partner. STERILITY is irrelevant and does not imply impotency. Absence of uterus in the body of the one’s female partner does not amount to impotency but the absence of a proper v**gina would mean impotency. Similarly organic malformation making a woman s*xless would mean impotency. If a husband fails to satisfy his wife’s abnormal appetite for s*x that cannot be regarded as impotency.

Thus impotency means practical impossibility of consummation of marriage. Sexual intercourse which is incomplete occasionally does not amount to impotency. It includes discharge of healthy semen containing living sperms in the case of men and discharge of menses in the case of women. This is what you will hear in days to come once the case goes on full blown trial and LCI family law forum may be shy to discuss these medical matters but I am not shy being a professional person who can bring to table such mature discussions is as simple as it may bare read here vis-à-vis frowned by time pass readers J 


Regarding IMPOTENCY, the various principles laid down by the courts are:

(1) Full and complete penetration is an essential ingredient of ordinary and complete intercourse, though degree of s*xual satisfaction obtained by the parties is irrelevant. If one spouse is overs*xed and the other is not, it does not amount to impotency.

(2) Impotency is usually either (a) PHYSICAL [which is not the case in hand as it is not specified in your query] or (b) MENTAL [which is allegation unraveled by you here and may continue before concerned Court in trial stage is my prediction bze you say vehemently here that you want to save your marriage and unless and until you bring this to knowledge of court your scale of 50% probability will not match to his allegation charging you with impotencyJ]. Physical impotency includes malformation of or structural defects in the organs such as unduly large male organ or abnormally small v**gina.

(3) "MENTAL or psychological" impotency includes emotional, psychological or moral repugnance or aversion to the s*xual act. In Re. Shantabai v. Tara Chand [AIR 1966 Madh Pra 8], the wife was alleged to have an absolute repugnance towards s*xual intercourse although she had normal s*xual organs. Held that it amounts to impotency. Visualise now can he bring across the board during trial and can this save a marriage my answer is NO! In this ref. case the facts were that where immediately after marriage the husband lived for three nights and days in the same room with his wife and failed to consummate the marriage, it was a fair inference that non-consummation was due to husband’s knowing refusal arising out of incapacity, nervousness or hysteria. In Re. Nijhawan v. Nijhawan [AIR 1973 Delhi 200], a liberal interpretation of the word ‘impotence’ was made by the court. In that case, the wife felt depressed and frustrated owing to the failure of husband to perform full and complete s*xual intercourse. Held that vigorous and harmonious s*xual activity is the foundation of marriage and a marriage without s*x is anathema. The court considered the husband’s impotency to be a cause of mental and physical cruelty to the wife. Also note that the charge of mental or physical disability you will give as counter allegation has to be with regard to impotency not any thing else. Now whose impotency you will charge - it is obvious that it would be HIS. In that case what his side will do is he may volunteer himslef for impotency test under Court direction and suppose if he comes clean then what is left of this marriage? Flip this and suppose if he is found to be impotent then also think what is left of your marriage that you want to save now? Also self read on male ego in delicate personal matters called SEX in his marriage, which means will he say after dismissal of his case SORRY ji let us consummate now and will you accept his then version - the probability is NO after all the social dramas a cultured and socially brought up woman never accepts and parts from it!!!

(4) If impotency can be cured by medical treatment or surgery, it would not amount to impotency, unless the respondent refuses to undergo treatment. In Re.: Rajendra v. Shanti [1989 ACJ 517 (SC)], where the size of wife’s v**gina was after surgical operation one and half inch, but was fit for intercourse, the court said that wife was not impotent.

(5) Mere barrenness or incapacity to conceive a child or sterility does not amount to impotency. In Re.: Shewanti v. Bhaura [AIR 1971 MP 168], the wife was sterile but was capable of having s*xual intercourse held that she was not impotent.

Above citations reference either favours you or him as the 'para wise facts' of his case are not before us hence I mentioned most relevant once to test the waters in this query in a generic way.

Now let us review the question on burden of proof - The Burden of Proof lies on petitioner (your husband) and for the same he will subject you to undergo impotency test, but when once the impotency is proved there is a refutable presumption in favour of its continuance whereas if you say today that you are not impotent and same comes as medical true too but counter allegation that it is due to husband's "mental illness" the consummation has not been done with then also think at the end of the social trial what is left for you to continue living for in that home where you received impotency allegations from a husband and almost no one from his joint family came to your rescue?

This reply is largely social reply rather than understood as to be a legal reply and even psychos*xual counseling you opt for, the male ego originating from a joint family system (probably) in him will say NO to such counseling in ref. query for a factual reason that Indian marital relationships are not build keeping across several kms. of distance between two spouses where as per the query he lives in some other city leaving behind a wife in some other city amidst a joint family and has reactive depression symptoms (you said your father recently died so it is a reactive depression stage you are continuing in minus near - dearest once physical support which is missing right now in you which you admit it or not is going to be a different query).

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Keywords
non consummation of marriage, wife’s willingness to consummate marriage, mental impotency, impotency allegations, cultured wife, intra-city distances between spouse, joint family, arranged marriage, 20L spent on marriage, psychos*xual counseling, male ego and late father of a bride.

i simply don't understand why people do marry. it should be simple like men and women earn on their own and not dependent on any one for a single rs. do s*x if they want with anyone. do reproduction if they want with anyone if they want to make contribution to population, and then both pay 50% each for the expenses of child upto 25 years of his age produced out of such act. and child should be send to hostels/take care homes at a small age like 2 only, because father and mothers are getting sick today, they beat there child whole life, some do indulge in s*x with them(yesterday news was, a father was locked with her 3 years old daughter for 5 hours in room, when his wife suspected him and taken the girl to baptist, a attempt to rape was confirmed), some even sell them ( today news by toi report a girl sold by parents for 10,000 in kota,rajasthan), put limitations on them whole life thinking them as there slaves. nor child can go against there parents and they will call night as day, if there parents force to do so. haha, because there is no security  for child, but wow there is alimony for fit and fine women. and if child object for any reason, lets say a case of marriage of 20 years old girl to her lover, they will dissavow there child and kick her out of house, giving no maintenance or further indulge crimes like honor killing comes in play. india situation is really sick. and people like judges and advocates are not doing anything about it. they learn the law, they are the ones who should suggest the changes too when it becomes mandatory.

@Aarti.  You can say anything in civil pleadings, none of your averments will go unheard and will render inadmissible.  However as you said you want to save your marriage, you should only defend yourself and not say the things that offend your husband.  Hope you understand what I say.  If you want to save your image vis-a-vis his image you can offend.  Cleverly deal with the case if you want to save your marriage, by only defending and by not saying anything that offends him.

now my suggestion as pro law student and advisor. my personal believe is no marriage can be saved. as the stakes has raised now, things has gone out of hands. if you lag this issue more, this can result in a attack on you too, because may be your husband kill you in anger , or kill you first and then frame it as suicide. also it can be seen clearly, you husband don't need you anymore and putted allegation of non consummation(may be) to reduce size of alimony .  best option is very good in india, take instant action, take huge alimony and enjoy the life now. and i suggest you do it fast, because in near term law like alimony will be no more there, because mens are launching some protests against such laws which are farce simply.
suggestions. 
1) take quick action. hire good lawyer at first.
2) take some thing or use others and do some good amount of penetration in your s*xual parts, then go to a hospital and get recent s*x activity report, then declare allegations posted by husband as false, because consummation is going on according to doctor report. or pay doctor some money, he will make a fake report too. but don't forget to plug the buttons, because court may re investigate things in government hospital.
3) put false allegations on your husband like : A) he beat me often, B) attempt to murder previously, C) has affair with some one else , thats why he is quiting marriage , and claim that your have recieved calls from women !!! on his mobile number which were asking for him , who wanted to talk to him or heared him talking to women.
4) incase you need the childrens, put allegation on him that he often beat childs if you have any and say you also suspect s*xual harrasment on them, like he kisses your daughter on mouth , touch private parts , bla bla.
5) incase you are smart women and don't need child, than say he forcely done reproduction and produced this amount of children though i was not ready for it and wanted to go up in career and similar things to support you intention.

best of luck. i am A grade student in my college. and future supreme court judge. i given my best to help you. 
good day.

save the marriage haha, facts reveal that once husband files divorce apllication 90+ % he do it, at that time or a little latter. and in case divorce not granted, he harrash wife beat her often, or may kill him or plan a murder and pretend it as suicide.

Your Husband intension show that he is fed up with you.

Why ? this answer may know only you and your Husband.

You have to consent to your case, Also you have to produce application for mediation.

Mediation will help you to protect/save your matrimonial life.

Never made any false alligation against your Husband and his family. If its not truth.

Produce truth before court.

ask to court that you ever willing to live with your Husband  as well as his family nmembers at any cost.

If you stand on this, Court will support you.

Never hasitate, never excited, never loose hope.

first of all, when you write a question , you should explain your situation very clearly and in deep way in first message only.
first of all, its foolish of you that you have no did s*x once yet using birth controls in the first week or month only.
ok tell me truth mam, how many times you declined his s*xual arrousals.
and i personally think your husband is a idiot or he has fallen in love somewhere else. as you said marriage is very recent, so obviously a smart guy should understand things may take a while when girl is idiot. i suggest you once call him, and say i am ready for s*x and to make love to you. if he agree, and make love passionately then congrats you are back in business. other case is she might be in love with some one else and thats why kidding like this in early stage of marriage (which looks like a forced marriage ,as it is arranged) and it is also possible that she enjoy you and then say in court : "my wife do not love me in bed, i feel like i am raping someone , i suspect she is not at all happy with marriage or has a previous lover or current affair and she is not comfortable with me!, so for good of both of us, i continue to stand on divorce appeal and want rid of her" .  

Thanks Mr Prajapati . Please help me with some legal points on which i can fight my case. As i writen in  my previous msg that in a year we lived just twice together and because of some or other reason sam did'nt happen. But i never refuse to him at all.

@Aarti,

your position is sound.  Mr. Chandrasekhar has given you good advice.  There are two things - (1) annulment of marriage (2) divorce.  People often confuse with each other.  annulment of marriage can happen if the petitioner husband successfully proves that there is no consumation of marriage due to "IMPOTENCY OF THE RESPONDENT WIFE".  He has to prove that there is no consumation of marriage.  Further, he has to prove that you are impotent.  It is purely medical question and as Mr. Ashish Devassar suggested, it will boil down to medical evidence.  If you are medically fit, then you need not to worry for any thing.  His petition for annulment of marriage will be dismissed.  But if he filed the petition for divorce on the ground of cruelty (refusing intercourse by wife continuously), you have to simply say in your reply that you are ready for consumation of marriage.  So, nothing for you to worry.  His petition either it is for anuulment of marriage or divorce will be dismissed.  But remember one thing, that you should not put any allegation against him such as he is weak minded etc.