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PR   31 March 2016

Guidance required for a loveless marriage

hi to all,

i had a love marriage under special marriage act in 2013. my husband is a christian and myself a hindu. initial couple of months were fine but things began to go bad after about 2-3 months when i came to know that my husband and his family were planning to buy a house but i had no knowledge about it. we had a huge fight over it as i wasnt ready for such huge investment as we both were not financially stable. however his parents insisted and i had to give in as i did not want any tensions. since i am not earning much i did not contribute anything financially. anyways since then many such issues have cropped up which whenever i tried to communicate with my husband he always became defensive and squarely put the blame on me. i find his parents to be very controlling and dominating. i am currently pursuing phd in a different city and unable to live with my husband as he has his own job. though i insisted him to translocate to a city nearer to me but he was never ready to leave his current job. after almost 3 years of marriage i feel i committed a huge mistake and dont feel any love towards him. if there is any issue he just has one jusification that since im not staying with him so things are so bad. though we equally fight but time and again he has disrespected my choice of career which he justifies as being in a fit of rage. another major issue which i have is regarding religion. while i belong to a liberal hindu family, his family is devout religious. i have no issues with that n whnever im at home i try to respect their values and take part in their religion but i dont seem to feel the same way from him or his family. i dont wish our kids to be christians from birth, i have made him clear that once they attain adulthood they will be free to choose their religion but he says its impossible. i must mention that few days before our marriage me and my parents were called to their parish n made to sign on an affidavit saying the kids borne out of this marriage wld be baptized. it was so sudden and we were not informed by him or his family about it. it was so sudden and i did not want any conflicts at beginning of marriage, so i had to sign it. 

im presently under lot of emotional and mental distress. i agree im not able to stay with him due to studies but i have always tried to visit him on holidays n special occassions. he himself just visited me twice or thrice. he also has lot of probs if i visit my parents whenever im in the city. all such issues are making me frustrated and i have almost made up my mind to give divorce. last time when i went home i told him and so and he replied that i will never let you go so easily unless i make you pay for it. again after few hours he justified this by saying it was in fit of rage. i have no love, no s*xual attraction, no affection, no respect left for him but im stuck and dont know how to deal with it. im scared of taking any legal action since it might interfere with my phd which itself is at very crucial stage. please help and guide me.


 2 Replies

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     31 March 2016

Complete your studies then think about divorce.Tell the clearly about your studies. Put your concentration on studies.

ROHIT SHARMA (Legal Advisor )     31 March 2016

1. There are no instances mentioned by you alleging of inflicting any mental cruelty and of him deserting you. Hence you will not be able to sustain your petition for divorce, except that if he is agreeing to have a Mutual Consent divorce.

2. He does occassionally visits you and that shows that he still loves you.

3. Be wise, let not all these family arguments make you feel that the love has flown out of the window.

4. Trifle family squables can be amicaly settled.

5. Finish your Ph.d course and then seek emplyment where he resides and has his job. 

6. He may be short tempered but he does apolgize for his outburst.

7. Try and understand that yours was a love marrage and you have not converted from your religion as your marriage was not solomenized as per the Chritian rituals.

8. Relax, get the negative feelings subside.

9.  Paitently look forward to better married life once you finish your Ph.d. course.



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