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Domestic Violence

Page no : 3

(Guest)

Dear Sushma Sharma,

From the above posts its seems clear that you  are a caring and loving woman but your husband didn’t change his mind even after becoming a father .You have done every effort to maintain your marriage but here your husband don’t care about you or your baby.Its very sad thing.

 

“I asked him to call his parents so that we all can have a discussion but he dint ask his parents to come here. After that he has not called even once to check abt the baby.

 

1 As I dont think there is any future with my husband as he has not shown any interest in the baby, how would I go for divorce ?

 

Yes, there is no future with your husband.My advise is to go for divorce by mutual consent .or file a divorce case.

 

2. Can I ask for one-time settlement for the maintenance of the baby?( I have started working from last 2 months)

 

Yes, you ask for one time settlement maintenance for your baby .suppose you file divorce by mutual consent then put this condition for maintenance.

 

You said I am based at Bangalore. Suchitra. S is also from Bangalore. (LCI MEMBER) you can get advise from her.

 

After one year forgets about DV act or other, you can’t get justice that is sure .Only to do is to continue your work (Job) and take care of your baby. Ask for divorce and I am sure he is ready for the same and he can also ready to give one-time settlement for the maintenance of the baby. Don’t invest money for filing 498A or Dv act .

 

Your question shows that you have decided to walkout from matrimonial life and from the above story its 100% true. Better to concentrate to your parents and your kids and your job

 

Men don't take responsibility because they are often immature. I think that most people agree that men tend to mature slower than the average woman.( Osho also said this) This isn't always true, but it is true enough to be a recurring problem in marriages.

 In 99 cases out of a 100, the wife will rate the marriage worse than the husband. There's a problem and he refuses to see it, or deal with it, or take responsibility for it.

 I can guarantee that more women will read this thread  than men. It's an unfortunate tragedy.

 Men tend to react to life and often force their wives into making the decisions rather than make difficult decisions of their own. The average woman doesn't like a controlling husband. But that same woman doesn't want a lump on the log for a husband either. Often, a woman's security comes from a husband that is willing to make the hard choices in life and then to act upon it. She is secure with a loving husband that doesn't act like a pinball machine, but has direction and purpose.

 It is true that a man makes a mistake when he doesn't incorporate his wife's opinion into any decision. But to make her make the decision because you are unwilling to is frustrating for most women. And just as hurtful is the husband who only makes decisions that are in his own interests. This will strip away his wife's security. She'll balk at a husband who’s apparent only interest is himself.

1 Like

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist)     22 November 2010

Husbands must acknowledge their responsibility and accountability. In most of the cases it is wives who are forced to bend or sacrifice, be it their job or personal life or any other matter. Wives never get their due importance and attention, also it is they who are forced from everyone/everywhere including their own parents/family to reconcile. Their problem must be looked thru their eyes and must be addressed accordingly.

It is their sacrificing and bending attitude which is due to various factors/reasons has made many husbands irresponsible. It high time, that erring husbands should learn to behave and respect the independence of their wives. Even Law/constitution has given them equal status.

1 Like

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     23 November 2010

I do not agree with Kushan's advice that after one year one cannot file a DV case. One year is not a very long time to file a DV case. 

Sushma Sharma (NA)     23 November 2010

Hi All,

Thanks a lot for all your valuable advices.

I will be visiting a lawyer soon and will try for mutual divorce with one-time settlement.

I will call him through my lawyer and discuss it for the last time.

My worry is that if he does not agree for mutual divorce with one-time settlement, then what step I should take?

I would not be able to invest too much of time in courts as I have to take care of my small baby also.


(Guest)

“My worry is that if he does not agree for mutual divorce with one-time settlement, then what step I should take?

 

The answer is if your husband does not agree for mutual divorce with one-time settlement then file for crpc section 125 maintenance case.

 

Look you have to be patient as it will take some time to get justice in a court.And also take care of your baby.

 

@Renuka Gupta,

And renuka you said “I do not agree with Kushan's advice that after one year one cannot file a DV case. One year is not a very long time to file a DV case. “

 

Why i said this because her current condition look what she said ;

"As I would not be able to invest too much of time in courts as I have to take care of my small baby also."

Her main intention is to walkout from marriage because husband dont interested to continue the matrimonial life and he must pay maintenance to her and baby thats why i advise to go for dv by mutual consent with one time settlement.If doesnt agree then file for 125 case .

 

Code of Criminal Procedure 1973 , Section 125

 

125. Order for maintenance of wives, children and parents.

(1) If any person leaving sufficient means neglects or refuses to maintain-

(a) His wife, unable to maintain herself, or

(b) His legitimate or illegitimate minor child, whether married or not, unable to maintain itself, or

(c) His legitimate or illegitimate child (not being a married daughter) who has attained majority, where such child is, by reason of any physical or mental abnormality or injury unable to maintain itself, or

(d) His father or mother, unable to maintain himself or herself,
 
A Magistrate of' the first class may, upon proof of such neglect or refusal, order such person to make a monthly allowance for the maintenance of his wife or such child, father or mother, at such monthly rate1[***] as such magistrate thinks fit, and to pay the same to such person as the Magistrate may from time to time direct::

Provided that the Magistrate may order the father of a minor female child referred to in clause (b) to make such allowance, until she attains her majority, if the Magistrate is satisfied that the husband of such minor female child, if married, is not possessed of' sufficient means.

2[Provided further that the Magistrate may, during the pendency of the Proceeding regarding monthly allowance for the maintenance under this sub-section, order such person to make a monthly allowance for the interim maintenance of his wife or such child, father or mother, and the expenses of such proceeding which the Magistrate considers reasonable, and to pay the same to such person as the Magistrate may from time to time direct:

Provided also that an application for the monthly allowance for the interim maintenance and expenses for proceeding under the second proviso shall, as far as possible, be disposed of within sixty days from the date of the service of notice of the application to such person]

Explanation. For the purposes of this Chapter.

(a) Minor means a person who, under the provisions of the Indian Majority Act, 1975 (9 of 1875) is deemed not to have attained his majority;

(b) "Wife" includes a woman who has been divorced by, or has obtained a divorce from, her husband and has not remarried.

 

1 Like

Bhartiya No. 1 (Nationalist)     24 November 2010

Sushmaji,

Time to time u may seek help here also, and court cases used to be tricky one. Os u will have to spare some time and will have to  do self monitoring of progress of the suit.


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