Arun Prasad (AST) 29 May 2013

Divorce under mental/iq grounds

Hello Experts,

I am married for the last 6 years and I have two children of 3 years and 1 year . My wife is a Graduate and is now a home maker. On many occassions I was very much disappointed to look at her mental capability which has raised me doubts on her mental maturity level. To quote examples 1. She wanted to to dry the clothes on the terrarce when it was raining heavily, 2.She is unable to calculate the monthly milk expenses and settle the milkmen Apart from this, she is unwilling to take her basic responsibilities like taking care of children, feeding them properly, making them to take shower. She has fought with my parents and asked them to apply for Voluntary Retirement and they are currently with me taking care of the children. She is torturing my parents and has delegated all the activities related to my children to them. She often blacmails us under various reasons. I dont want to apply for divorce as that would screw up the future of my children. In worst case, if I want to go for a divorce, is there a way to apply for divorce under irresponsiblness / mental maturity level etc.. In that case, who will take care of the custody of my Children. Any help in this regard would be highly appreciated.

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6 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate) 29 May 2013

Irresponsibleness of a spouse or less maturity and understanding of a spouse or low IQ is no ground for divorce under Indian Laws.

Custody of children is given to the parent with whom the welfare of the children lies.

Anup (Private) 29 May 2013

This irresponsibleness of the wife, for creating 'tension' to husband/ in-laws, is a kind of "Incompatibility between the spouses".

And, instead of contemplating 'divorse', the two must visit a psychologist/ marriage counsellor.

Invariably, the husband(s0 tend to forget, their own 'acts' which have 'caused' such 'retaliatory/ abnormalities' in their wife's conduct. Initially, the husband must reassure his wife, who is fairly educated, that he truly loves/ trusts her.

It is rightly said, "A gentleman is known by the company he keeps, and a lady is known by the manner in which she is 'teatred'. If the husband/ her in-laws treat the lady with respect, she is bound to reciprocate/ show responsibilities.

(Guest)

Originally posted by : Anup
	This irresponsibleness of the wife, for creating 'tension' to husband/ in-laws, is a kind of "Incompatibility between the spouses". And, instead of contemplating 'divorse', the two must visit a psychologist/ marriage counsellor. Invariably, the husband(s0 tend to forget, their own 'acts' which have 'caused' such 'retaliatory/ abnormalities' in their wife's conduct. Initially, the husband must reassure his wife, who is fairly educated, that he truly loves/ trusts her. It is rightly said, "A gentleman is known by the company he keeps, and a lady is known by the manner in which she is 'teatred'. If the husband/ her in-laws treat the lady with respect, she is bound to reciprocate/ show responsibilities.

Respect cannot be demaned, it can only be earned, ever heard old aged people working as waiters o their DIL?.

(Guest)

Originally posted by : Arun Prasad

Hello Experts,

I am married for the last 6 years and I have two children of 3 years and 1 year . My wife is a Graduate and is now a home maker. On many occassions I was very much disappointed to look at her mental capability which has raised me doubts on her mental maturity level. To quote examples 1. She wanted to to dry the clothes on the terrarce when it was raining heavily, 2.She is unable to calculate the monthly milk expenses and settle the milkmen Apart from this, she is unwilling to take her basic responsibilities like taking care of children, feeding them properly, making them to take shower. She has fought with my parents and asked them to apply for Voluntary Retirement and they are currently with me taking care of the children.

You should have moved out. You got married, not your parents. WIfe is your headache.

Simply you are makiing your parents suffer at the hands of your wife for past 6 years.

At least now move out. Let your parents live a dignified life.

She is torturing my parents and has delegated all the activities related to my children to them. She often blacmails us under various reasons. I dont want to apply for divorce as that would screw up the future of my children. In worst case, if I want to go for a divorce, is there a way to apply for divorce under irresponsiblness / mental maturity level etc.. In that case, who will take care of the custody of my Children. Any help in this regard would be highly appreciated.]

Whatever you want to do. You first move outside. Then file that divorce case.

Staying with parents and moving court for divorce may end up you all in prison, your parents and you.

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney) 29 May 2013

I completely agree with the above experts.

Harsh (Manager) 30 May 2013

@author

how did you not realize her mental defects for so many years? and you had two kids. do you have any

documented efforts you made to improve her IQ or mental maturity in six years?

who will believe you in court?

six years is just too long to identify anything wrong with your wife. If you cohabit with her AFTER knowing that she is not mature or whatever, it means you accept it and are willing to live with it. Not discouraging you from filing for Divorce, but just giving you some practical insights.

and @Helping Hand is right; why kill old parents? Out of love for their child, they will continue to struggle and bear all the humiliation.

@Anup

what made you think that the wife was ill-treated here? author has given few examples which clearly show that she is not an adult in someways definitely. he is even mentioning that she doesnt take any responsibility. author is not talking about cooking and cleaning, he is referring to taking care of CHILDREN. ignoring your own children can never be a retaliatory action of any sane woman. just look at the author's own parents, at OLD AGE they are caring for their grandchildren.

your response seems like a standard response - whenver a guy is troubled and talks about his wife or divorce, some people give standard answers putting the blame squarely back on the poor guy.