Divorce

What kind of mental torture you are facing? Merely saying  'he tortures me' will be very vague.. For divorce you need some serious grounds and not like 'Not taking care' or 'not maintaining the house'  which are no grounds for divorce. Anyways, considering that its a 23 years old marriage think and re think again and again before taking any such decision at this age and stage of life. Think of divorce only if you are really suffering from serious harrassment from your husband otherwise not. Instead of thinking of divorce think about going for marriage councelling at a good marriage councellor, which is a better option in my opinion from the given facts.

I went through your reply and really delighted to understand that you are really an advocate .Your suggestions  are needed to that sister if the case is not fabricated

Thanks for replying... 

I am taking care of all the house hold things and Loans everything, hardly he takes care of anything, besides that he will be saying what is that i have done, after taking care of everything . if i ask money for maintaining the house, he will says are you not working take care of yourself, do not aks me for anything. 

Nor he takes me anywhere, my life has becoming has become like machine.

I understood your situation Jayalakshmi ji, but what wud you do by taking divorce at this stage of life? Have you thought in that direction? Won't you become all alone? Perhaps the support of a spouse is needed most in middle and old age to come. I can see that you are exasperated by the situation and behaviour of your husband, but I feel only mature thinking and talks can bring you some peace of mind. Try to talk and resolve it. Why not try convincing your husband to go to a professional councellor and councelling may perhaps bring some more sense of responsibility in your hubby and he may understand that his wife also needs care and affection from him. Why not try to do some more work upon the relationship at this stage of life rather than parting ways?

My parents has already conuseled him, but than to.. he has not changed... after than only i have decided this route. Financial i do not know what happens next. Everyday there is new issues. where is  no peace of mind. 

As you say your marriage is a 23 old marriage have you ever thought what would your children go through as you say you seek divorce . Your designation says your are into HR and hence must be financially independent .The reasons you mention are petty and i dont think so Divorce would be granted . And in case you opt for contested divorce it would take years and year- say 5-7 yrs maybe 10 yrs or more . And than you would be fed up running around courts and would say my life earlier was better with my husband :-)

Originally posted by : jayalakshmi
	Dear Expert, As i am married for 23 years and ours was a love marriage, against to everybody i got married to him,  i would like to Take divorce from my husband, The reason behind it : 1. Not taking care properly 2. Mentally trouching  3. Not maintaining the house Please suggest the way to take the divorce. Regards Jaya

You should be giving advice to some kids around here who have had love marriages and how to sustain that long as 23 years.  As kids nowadays who get married in the lovey-dovey way wont even last 2 years.

But look at it this way, 2 year old love marriage couples go stand before judge who is 55 year old asking for divorce.

Just imagine a 45 year old like you going and standing before judge asking for divorce!

Forget divorce, you were not able to convert and bring your lover/husband in your lines in 23 years, by this time he should have been dancing to your tunes, if not, he is making you dance to his tunes, eitherway its love only.

Enjoy love.  Be together, as that would have been the only oath you both would have taken when you took the plunge.  Be happy.  Wishing you Happy Married LIfe.