Broken_down (IT) 09 June 2009

Need divorce advise

I had an arranged married in September 2007. It was a Christian wedding in the church and it was not registered seperately. We both moved to Mumbai and stayed in a flat that I was renting earlier.

The problems had started from first week when we were in our native. She was not at all interested in any sort of physical relationship (not even holding hands). I initially completely overlooked this problem and continued to be fully dedicated to her and didnt put any pressure as I thought she was just shy. But over a period of time, I realised she had the same behaviour in everything. She was not concerned or interested in mixing with me at all, even to just talk. At the same time, she was not at all hesitant in shouting and behaving very rudely even though I never raised my voice at her even once...

Over the next few months, with encouragment from our parents, we went to 2 counsellors and even a psychologist. I participated in sessions with great enthusiasm but she did not change her attitude in anything at all.

Also she had unusual behaviour all the time: completely avoiding me, shouting for no reason, going out late and visiting her old friends without informing me (at a time when she was not even talking to me), never sharing in any household expenses, keeps her phone locked, not even sitting next to me. All this happens only when she is with me.

Fooled by her usual quiet appearances in front of others, even my own parents failed to understand the problem during this time. I was completely isolated and lonely even contemplating suicide.

Till today I have hardly held her hands a few times. In the end, after living together only for 3 months after which she went back to her parents and there has been no more contact.

After 1 year now (during which there was no contact with her), I want to close this chapter and move on. At any cost I cannot imagine living with her again after all the pain she caused to me and my family.

I want to know:

1) First of all, is it neccesary to get a divorce as this marriage had only taken place in a church and never registered? Also it is non-consummated, there was no dowry, all wedding expenses were borne by my parents, and she never even showed me her salary (I did not ask either).

2) If divorce is required, do I need to register the marriage first?

3) We both work in Mumbai (software industry) but the marriage took place in Kerala. Can I apply for divorce here in Mumbai?

4) I want to complete the divorce at the earliest but she will mostly probably not be willing due to family pressure (even my own family are not supporting me). Also, how can I be prepared for hostile reaction from her family also once they are informed that I want to apply for divorce?

5) How can I find the right lawyer to handle the divorce?

Please help me

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8 Replies

Adv. Deepak (Advocate) 09 June 2009

Dear Writer, You are Christian by religion. Hence, provisions of Christian Marriage Act and Indian Divorce Act are applicable to you. It might be the case that the consent of your wife to the said marriage has not been free or she might be willing to get married with someone else. That could be the reason for her abnormal behaviour. You said yours is a christian wedding in Church. So it must have been solemnised according to the rules, rites, ceremonies and customs of the Church. Though, every marriage is required to be registered, registration of marriage is not the proof of performance of marriage, when it is performed as per the rites, rules, ceremonies and customs of the church. Also, non-registration of marriage will not act as evidence that the marriage has not been solemnised. Hence, it is necessary to get the divorce, even though this marriage is not registered. It is not at all necessary that to get the divorce, the marriage is required to be registered. You can say on affidavit, that the marriage has been solemnised as per the rites, rules, ceremonies and customs of the Church. However, if you can get the marriage registered without taking much efforts, its all right. Under Section 3 of Indian Divorce Act, you may file the petition for divorce at the place where the marriage was solemnised, or where the husband and wife reside or last resided. Therefore, you may file the petition at Kerala or in Mumbai. In Mumbai, you can file the petition for divorce before before the Family Court, Bandra. You may file an application before Commissioner of Police, Mumbai, that she has left your home before one year or so and in order to take revenge, she may file false police complaint against you. In that case, before taking any action, opportunity may kindly be given to you to mention your say. She can file a complaint against you under Protection of Women from Domestic Violence and claim living rights in your shared household. Also she can file complaint under Section 498A of Indian Penal Code on the ground of mental and physical harassment as against you. In that case, you can keep some surety in the case of possible arrest. If you require any more information, please feel free to write to me on ddkharpudikar@indiatimes.com. Regards. Adv. Deepak

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Broken_down (IT) 10 June 2009

Thank you Mr. Deepak for your clear response to all my questions. I also have the suspicion now after all this has happened that she has someone in mind. I even saw a photo of her with her friend holding hands (which she refuses with me). But I dont have any concrete proof now so nothing I can do.

But regarding the additional problems I may face, I dont understand how she can file any complaint for domestic violence without any base? I have not even raised my voice against her (or even touched her).

Also, once I file the divorce, can she still make such complaints or seek living rights in shared household as I am living on rent and have no property of my own?

Broken_down (IT) 10 June 2009

I have one more question -

6) is it always required for husband to give alimony even if the cause for seeking divorce is the wife? Also wife is working and has working, rich, educated parents...

Adv. Deepak (Advocate) 10 June 2009

Dear Writer, Only in order to harass you, she can file such complaints against you. Even if you file divorce petition against her, till such time, the petition is decided in your favour, she has got the status of your legally wedded wife. As such, she can claim living rights in your shared household, even if it is rented one. If she is working and earning income at par with you, then only the question of alimony will not arise. However, if her income is less than that of you and because she is not living with you, she is not in a position with the status you are living in, she can claim maintenance. For filing false complaint, she can take stand that you have driven her out of your house and you are not giving her the marital pleasure which she deserves. If you do not want to allow her to claim living rights in your shared household, you will have to make alternate accommodation for her. If you are living in rented premises, you can also make provision of a rented accommodation for her. This has nothing to do with your divorce petition. The remedies which she can claim under two different acts are different and have nothing to do with each other. Under divorce act, she can claim restitiution of conjugal rights to defend your case. These are the possible problems which you will have to face. What will happen in actual, you cannot guess at this juncture. Thanks. Deepak

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Dharmesh Manjeshwar (Advocate/Lawyer) 19 June 2009

Answers to your query -

1. Yes, it is necessary that you take divorce despite all facts stated by you.

2. It is compulsory to register a marriage as per supreme court judgement dated 14.2.2006 reported as Smt. Seema v. Ashwani Kumar (2006 (2) SCC (578), therefore you need to register your marriage or your petiton will not be entertained by Family Court.

3. Under Section 3 of Indian Divorce Act, you may file the petition for divorce at the place where the marriage was solemnised, or where the husband and wife reside or last resided. Therefore, you may file the petition at Kerala or in Mumbai.

4. The easiest way is to get divorce by mutual consent. And if you file divorce on any other grounds, it could be contested by your wife since you mention that she will not agree for divorce due to family pressure and this may take long maybe 4-5 years

5. I cannot help you on this, as no one can tell u the way to find a right lawyer, it's instinct.

6. It is not a written rule that a husband has to pay alimony. Depends on the facts and circumstances of each case and this has been explained to you by Mr. Deepak.

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Broken_down (IT) 19 June 2009

Thank you Mr.Dharmesh for your detailed response...

You raised a concern regarding registration of marraige for which there is differening opinion.... First I want to clear that we had married in church and such an entry for our marriage exists in that church registry. But we had not got it registered with Registrar.

I went through the case that you mentioned:

"The registration of marriage is compulsory under the Indian
Christian Marriage Act, 1872. Under the said Act, entries are
made in the marriage register of the concerned Church soon
after the marriage ceremony along with the signatures of bride
and bridegroom, the officiating priest and the witnesses. "

and

"It has been pointed out that
Christian and Parsi marriages are solemnized through
compulsory registration according to the applicable statutes."

So Church registration seems to satisfy the court?

I seek clarity again especially as registration will be difficult now... we are both on completely non-speaking terms now and registration would need to be done back in Kerala whereas we are working in Mumbai.

Thanks

Adv. Deepak (Advocate) 19 June 2009

Dear Writer, The entries in the Register maintained by the Church authorities are sufficient to take it granted that your marriage has been solemnised as per the Christian Marriage Act and all the necessary ceremonies have been performed. The question of proof of marriage will only arise if your wife denies that your marriage has been solemnised. Otherwise, your petition will be admitted and entertained by the Hon'ble Family Court. At the stage of admitting of the petition, the Hon'ble Court will not reject it on the ground that it has not been registered with the Registrar of Marriages. Regards. Deepak.

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Nizamuddeeen (driver) 31 August 2013

Please advise,

I have same problem like above mentioned(broken down),my marriage registered in mosque only,

My nikah done by masjid,and i didnt bring my wife to my home untill now,,,,,i went to Abroad after 10 days of nikah,,,the problem starts from that day,,she was not responding for my call,not talking to me,,,,,,,after 2 month she admited to me that she love another person and need to be divorced.

i inform this to 2 families (her n mine) that iam proceeding for divorce as my wife cheated me after nikah,

Now her parents decided to move for petition against me,

Please advise,if they move on any case against me

How it will affect my job in abroad?

Have any problem for me to travel to abroad?

What commensation they can ask from me when get divorced?amount?

How the proof will help me (i have proof that i recoded her voice she utter that she love another person and need divorce)?