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manav (Senior Manager)     18 April 2012

How to bring my 11 months kid

Hi,

As I was not liking my wife's way of talking with me and my parents and not changing her way though I told many times, I asked her parents to come for moral support(expected that they will explain her). My wife's father talked all rubbish(used unparlimentary language) without knowing the problem. I said get out from my house. Then he said that he will file a police case. The problem was just 2% which is dragged to 100% now because of her parents. I asked my wife to come to my house, but she is not ready to come. I also heard that they are planning to file the case against me Dowry Victim and Harassment cases. They are fake cases infact she harrassed me and my family with her odd behavior and rude talking. Me and my family are very very attached to my son who is just 11 months old.  I have few queries  incase, if she is not interested to come to my house and file the cases.

1) Is there any way to bring my kid by showing their illegal business(my wife's father is running illegal liquor business from their house and shop) with evidence?

2) If they file fake dowry case, can I come out from that with her bank statement (as she was paying her parents loan, which is taken before marriage )? How could I have allowed her to pay the loan amount , If I demanded for dowry?

3) How to prove that it is a fake harassment case(She was always shouting on us, we were most of the times quite as we can not debate with her)?

 

Thanks in Advance.

 

Regards,

Manav



Learning

 7 Replies

Kumar (Family CEO)     18 April 2012

Manav,

 

Situation is sensitive and perhaps give some time and space for things to cool off. I would apologize and try to take the high road. Find a good days such as a auspicious religious day or the childs bday or some such day the girls family considers special and make an appearance at their home. Dont ask her to come with you - make a visit and exit respectfully. 

 

DONT think of dragging the matter to the court yet. The child is just 11 months old - perhaps the mother is under post partum depression. Young mothers may behave like a nervous wreck especially when it is their first child. Too many changes for the women unlike for men.

 

And some good news - last night I met a stranger online based in Maryland USA. His wifes parents filed criminal complaint about him stating that he had demanded Rs 25 lakh dowry. Poor NRI visited India and was put behind bars along with his retired father and sister. Our champion filed counter case - he obtained income tax records and band records and proved that the loser FIL never had Rs 25 Lakh to pay as dowry. The girls father is running pillar to post as the tables have been turned. Net net, as it appears - the girls party cannot make false claim of dowry and prove it. 

 

Keep in mind - our champion spent 4 days in jail !!! He also adds - " it is very easy to screw the FIL/MIL if they are or were government employees..". I dont know the legal nuances but you may want to understand the same.May help in your corunter offensive strategy.

Keep us posted. I am sure you will get legal analysis to your sitution.

2 Like

manav (Senior Manager)     18 April 2012

Thanks Kumar.

I got little relief after reading your answer. I never wanted to separate my son from my wife. I know the pain as I am feeling that pain from one month.

Actually her parents are injecting instead of explaining and asking her to change way of talking to elders. I am stepping back to go to her house as her father does not have sense and will do unexpected things.  Actually I dont want to leave my son in that environment. I asked my wife for many times to come down to my house but I do not see any +ve response.

Though their background is not good ( imagine if he is selling illegal wine from his home, and was greedy on my wife's salary), I married her as she proposed and said that she can not live without me. When I brought her background issues, she gave me many promises.

My wife's father already told that he will file the case. He also told that I married her daughter for my wife's salary and I am also planning to kill her. The fact is she was spending more than half of the salary for her family and I never commented on that. Moreover my salary is 4 times more than her salary so need not to depend on her salary. Actually the issue was on her way of talking (2% problem) but he completely diverted and explained her many bull sh*t things(dragged the problem till 100%). She did not even deny her father's comments and did not even stop him if he is using unparlimentary language..

Incase if they take such kind of step to file a case(he will do it as he needs my wifes salary), I want to be ready with the answers.

He filed the case against his first son -in-law also.  That guy completely bent to my wife's father and agreed for all the demands to settle down the issue.  If possible, I want to teach a lesson to that stupid(my wife's father).

 

Please guide me on these.

  1. Is there any way to bring my kid by showing their illegal business(my wife's father is running illegal liquor business from their house and shop) with evidence?
  2. If they file fake dowry case, can I come out from that with her bank statement (as she was paying her parents loan, which is taken before marriage )? How could I have allowed her to pay the loan amount , If I demanded for dowry?
  3. How to prove that it is a fake harassment case(She was always shouting on us, we were most of the times quite as we can not debate with her)?

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     18 April 2012

Dear Manav,

 

I believe a child of 11 months would be on mother's feed. It would be a cruelty to the child to seperate her from the mother. You can ask for visitation as of now. 

 

See how things pan out after that and then you can decide whether to file for child custody or not.

 

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Kumar (Family CEO)     18 April 2012

1. A liquor store and income from business.

2. Income/financial support from first daughter in law/first son in law.

3. Potential income from second daughter and or second son in law ( you)

________________________________________________________________

1+2+3 = lot of money for father in law. FIL has become a family mafia.Daughters and relatives are probably scared of him. 

 

People running liquor shops in India are known to have shady associations and possibly tied up with police. You need to be very very careful in your approach to the situation. 

 

Some ideas/thoughts:

1. Get some third party to lodge police complaint about his illegal business. You should stay away from this. 

2. "Plant something" in his liquor shop in addition. Consult a criminal lawyer and find out what if found in place of business amounts to non bailable offense. 

3. Stay calm and "join hands" with the devil. Indicate you have some money that you want to invest in his business. Test his reaction. If he is running after money, you can find out from his attitude. 

4. Retain lawyer and start reporting day to day matter/developments. 

5. Lodge an informational police report stating that there is  family situation developing and that FIL has stated that he will implicate you.\

6. Visit the child/mother and give childs clothes, diapers etc and leave the house. Visit every evening as a routine, play with the child and return home. 

manav (Senior Manager)     20 April 2012

Thanks Shonee for the suggestion.

I agree with you. My parents used to take care my son as we bother were buzy with our jobs. They spend their complete time with him where as we used spend only in week ends.

Small hope that my wife comes if I can get my son through the right channel. Because now she is not in the position to listed to me. Moreover I do not want to leave in their environment.

Can you please guide with the steps to take my son's custody.

Thanks in Advance

Regards,
Manav

manav (Senior Manager)     20 April 2012

Thanks kumar for your suggestion and for moral support.

1. Get some third party to lodge police complaint about his illegal business. You should stay away from this.

I am also thinking the same. But if my wife come to know about this, all channels will be closed to restart the life with her.

3. Stay calm and "join hands" with the devil. Indicate you have some money that you want to invest in his business. Test his reaction. If he is running after money, you can find out from his attitude.

He is an idiot. First I have to learn unparlimentary language if I have to speak to him.

4. Retain lawyer and start reporting day to day matter/developments.

Planning for this. Is there any way that I can get my son's custody with out applying for divorce. Because I want to leave options to her if she changes her mind in future.

5. Lodge an informational police report stating that there is family situation developing and that FIL has stated that he will implicate you.

These all was verbal and without proof how can I complain on him. I mean is it possible?

6. Visit the child/mother and give childs clothes, diapers etc and leave the house. Visit every evening as a routine, play with the child and return home.

For this, I have to bend myself completely , coz she is showing the attitude and there are chances that my wife and her father question me how can you come to our house (coz I said to FIL , Get out from my house while he was talking nonsense at my home.).

 

Thanks in Advance.
 

manav (Senior Manager)     20 April 2012

Thanks kumar for your suggestion and for moral support.

1. Get some third party to lodge police complaint about his illegal business. You should stay away from this.

I am also thinking the same. But if my wife come to know about this, all channels will be closed to restart the life with her.

3. Stay calm and "join hands" with the devil. Indicate you have some money that you want to invest in his business. Test his reaction. If he is running after money, you can find out from his attitude.

He is an idiot. First I have to learn unparlimentary language if I have to speak to him.

4. Retain lawyer and start reporting day to day matter/developments.

Planning for this. Is there any way that I can get my son's custody with out applying for divorce. Because I want to leave options to her if she changes her mind in future.

5. Lodge an informational police report stating that there is family situation developing and that FIL has stated that he will implicate you.

These all was verbal and without proof how can I complain on him. I mean is it possible?

6. Visit the child/mother and give childs clothes, diapers etc and leave the house. Visit every evening as a routine, play with the child and return home.

For this, I have to bend myself completely , coz she is showing the attitude and there are chances that my wife and her father question me how can you come to our house (coz I said to FIL , Get out from my house while he was talking nonsense at my home.).

 

Thanks in Advance.
 


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