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Breach of promise in Live in

Page no : 2

Jean (HM)     26 June 2011

Dear Uma,

                   I will surely read that book.anyway just to clarify.

We did infact fall in love on our very first meeting and within a month he not only asked me but also my father for my hand in marraige the good old fashioned way

however at that time I was not aware he was previously married(abroad with two kids)

however he was working on the divorce

and we were to marry ..thins took time and yes I became comfortbale in the knowledge that we were living acc to him as husband abd wife ..he actually used to call me his wife

I guess despite our age and experience we can be stuoid and naive or blind when we love somebody and want to believe that its all goiung to work out fine in the end

I really believed this was forever and we would get married eventually

It was foolish of me

when one looks back in retropect only can one see ones own mistakes..its too late by then

what can I say..I have no words...Im angry at my own self for not being wiser smarter and practical

Jean (HM)     26 June 2011

Dear Ambika,

                        Thank you,yes thats the point whatever it is,it does not give any man the right to expoit any woman.

At times we women tend to be foolish in love although we might be intelligent professionally.

Its because we want to believe and because we trust and we think that the man is as genuine,loyal,commtted and dediacted to the relationship as us.

Maybe its foolish but then you cant be in a relationship unless you trust the man,if he betrays that trust what can u do.

Anyway experience teaches us to be wiser and smarter and less naivea nd foolish.

I just believed He was the man and that this was forever.

1 Like

Ambika (NA)     26 June 2011


Hi! Jean

I do not want to discourage you, but then you see according to SC  one's   live in relationship with a married man/woman does not have legal sanctity.

I have no right to pass judgement on you, but then having relationship with a married man/woman more often may hastens his/her decision to break the family and shuts the door for any reconcilation between husband and wife. 

I do not know what is the implicaiton of the above mentioned say of SC in your case as this live in relationship may be questioned as regards legal sanctity.  you need to consult an expert advocate who remains updated. Many advocates themselves may not be  aware that a live in relationship is not valid when one of the partners is married. 

Just last comment: Please do not generalise women by writing we women. On this sensitive issue, different women have different takes and many women may never like to build up a relationship with a married man or a man who is working on his divorce due to moral.ethical and humane reasons. 


hi Jean, you said you even met his family abroad, did they also hide from you about his marital status? I think that you did do your due diligence...his family should have had an honest talk with you. 
I have met men like the one you described, I also learned the hard way to identify the red flags.

Jean (HM)     27 June 2011

Dear Uma,

                      I met this man(sorry not gentkeman)through a social network.In that his profile showed single with no children.It was only much later that (once I was well into the relationship )that he connfessed that he was still married and had children but also said he had applied for  a that time he said he had not told me earlier as he didnt wish to lose me.

I believed him.

When we visited his family,the first time I did not meet his wife or children and the discussion that took place was that he was proceeding with the divorce.

Wwe visted two years ago and again this May,he unfirmed me that the delay was beacuse he could be physically present in court for the divorce proceedingsand this was difficult as he is working in India,time and distance constraint.

I should have pushed and worked faster towards the promised,intended marriage which is my mistake totally.

But I thought it would all happen

I was also busy in my work and lufe was moving in smoothly till a last month.

We had talked of relocating and talked of it for  a year,he spoke to his bosses and everythinh was in motion.

I got a good job,we made the move but he backed out and came yp wuth the line

I dont know if I love you anymore and if I want to go ahead in this relationship.

This was conveyed to me in a telephone call..not even face to face.

After 4 years of giving everything menatlly,emotionally,physucally,finacially surely I was owed an explnation or at least a valid reason.

I gave my all loyally,faithfully.I was committed and dedicated from day one till the end.

he called me his wife,my family was involved,we appraed everywhere as a couple

Where as a month ago he said I love u very much and all that goes with that line.

If he said I was his wife..then dont I have any rights as one..just because we are not married does that give him the right to walk out of a committment just like that at the drop of a hat with no valid reason.

Jean (HM)     27 June 2011

Just because Im the other woman in a live in relationship ..does that stop me from being a human being and does that mean I dont feel any pain at being betrayed.

9587744142ShivShanker saini (Advocate)     27 June 2011

contact for the same if needed 09587744142

1 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     27 June 2011


To understand the question posed by the author, we have to see the definitions of the Domestic Violence Act, 2005 to find out whether she is entitled to the reliefs laid down in the Act.

(a) "aggrieved person" means any woman who is, or has been, in a domestic relationship with the respondent and who alleges to have been subjected to any act of domestic violence by the respondent;

(f) "domestic relationship" means a relationship between two persons who live or have, at any point of time, lived together in a shared household, when they are related by consanguinity, marriage, or through a relationship in the nature of marriage, adoption or are family members living together as a joint family;


3. Definition of domestic violence

-For the purposes of this Act, any act, omission or commission or conduct of the respondent shall constitute domestic violence in case it -


(a) harms or injures or endangers the health, safety, life, limb or well-being, whether mental or physical, of the aggrieved person or tends to do so and includes causing physical abuse, s*xual abuse, verbal and emotional abuse and economic abuse; or

(b) harasses, harms, injures or endangers the aggrieved person with a view to coerce her or any other person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any dowry or other property or valuable security; or

(c) has the effect of threatening the aggrieved person or any person related to her by any conduct mentioned in clause (a) or clause (b); or (d) otherwise injures or causes harm, whether physical or mental, to the aggrieved person.

Explanation I.-For the purposes of this section,-

(i) "physical abuse" means any act or conduct which is of such a nature as to cause bodily pain, harm, or danger to life, limb, or health or impair the health or development of the aggrieved person and includes assault, criminal intimidation and criminal force;

(ii) "s*xual abuse" includes any conduct of a s*xual nature that abuses, humiliates, degrades or otherwise violates the dignity of woman;

(iii) "verbal and emotional abuse" includes-

(a) insults, ridicule, humiliation, name calling and insults or ridicule specially with regard to not having a child or a male child; and

(b) repeated threats to cause physical pain to any person in whom the aggrieved person is interested.

(iv) "economic abuse" includes-

(a) deprivation of all or any economic or financial resources to which the aggrieved person is entitled under any law or custom whether payable under an order of a court or otherwise or which the aggrieved person requires out of necessity including, but not limited to, household necessities for the aggrieved person and her children, if any, stridhan, property, jointly or separately owned by the aggrieved person, payment of rental related to the shared household and maintenance;

(b) disposal of household effects, any alienation of assets whether movable or immovable, valuables, shares, securities, bonds and the like or other property in which the aggrieved person has an interest or is entitled to use by virtue of the domestic relationship or which may be reasonably required by the aggrieved person or her children or her stridhan or any other property jointly or separately held by the aggrieved person; and

(c) prohibition or restriction to continued access to resources or facilities which the aggrieved person is entitled to use or enjoy by virtue of the domestic relationship including access to the shared household.

Explanation II.


-For the purpose of determining whether any act, omission,


commission or conduct of the respondent constitutes "domestic violence" under this section, the overall facts and circumstances of the case shall be taken into consideration. 

After going through the post of the author, it comes out that she was in domestic relationship with the man as defined in Section 2(f) of the Act and she was subjected to domestic violence as defined in Section 3 of the Act and she is an aggrieved person as defined in Sectin 2(a) of the Act.

Hence, such person is entitled to all the reliefs laid down in the Act.

Now, the questions arises as some member mentioned above that SC has laid down the rule that who could be in "live-in-relationship".  In one of the judgments SC held that  the persons of opposite s*x, otherwise elegible to marry each other, can have live-in relationship.  This is inclusive statement and not exclusive one.  This statement does not exclude the live-in relationships of other kind.  Take a case - The persons within the prohibited relationship as defined in Hindu Marriage Act may have live-in relationship. They are not entitled to marry as per their personal law.  If the woman, in such live-in relationship is subjected to domestic violence, in my opinion, has got relief in the Act, 2005.  Similarly, the relationship between the author and her boy friend was in the nature of marriage.  They are not entitled to marry as per the HMA as he has already living spouse.  If the author is subjected to domestic violence as defined in Section 3 of the Act, she can move an application under Section 12 of the Act and she will get the relief.  If any woman has got children out of the live-in relationship and he dies intestate, the children will have inheritancy rights from his self acquired property same as to his step brothers and sisters.  If these children should acquire rights even in ancestral properties    is under consideration of hon'ble Supreme Court.


1. The relationship in live-in relationship between the man and the woman is illegal or immoral is irrelevant consideration to decide the rights  of the woman in live-in relationship under the DV Act,2005.

2.  Whether the man has already married is also irrelevant to grant the rights to the woman in live-in relationship. 

3.  Whether the relationship between the man and woman comes within prohibited relationship disentitling them to marry is also irrelevant to grant the rights to the woman in live-in relationship. 

2 Like


Dear Jean,
Now focus your attention on collecting evidence that he hid his marital status from you (even if you did find out later and remained in the relationship, please don't let that weaken your case by disclosing it).
His phone break-up is typical of a man who cannot face real life, which he was running from in the first place, with your help. Such personalities think they don't have to adhere with social norms because they're better than others. As long as people like you buy into their story they need never lead an honest hard life.
People who get into (and remain in) long-term abusive relationships are called codependents (it's a psychology term, not a legal term). You probably already know. There is a LOT of emotional issues just below the surface that makes people into suckers for such men.  Please read up as much as possible about 'codependence'.
I don't think anything qualifies me to give this type of advice, but I really like your honesty.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     28 June 2011



Originally posted by :Uma


People who get into (and remain in) long-term abusive relationships are called codependents (it's a psychology term, not a legal term). You probably already know.
I don't think anything qualifies me to give this type of advice, but I really like your honesty.


@ Ld. Uma

I partially disagree to your above adv. given to a queriest for a simple reason that it ‘codependency’  is a "umbrella term" and is not listed in DSM-IV-TR hence what is not listed in our Bible should never be suggested to lay person. Just like BPD is tough to prove before Family Courts and mere suggestion of BPD (though listed in DSM-IV-TR) before concerned Court will raise frowns hence it is suggested by we counselors to study this personality traits to a queriest similarly I however partially agree of your advise to author to study it but not to the point that ‘codependency’ could be called as a ‘psychology term’!

Jean (HM)     28 June 2011

Thanks Uma appreciate whatever u have written u have made an accurate assessment of both of us I too appreciate your honest opinion Jean

Jean (HM)     28 June 2011

I have proof which I have saved that he appeared in a social net working site through whom we met his profile shows single with no chn whereas he was married with two chn and in all honesty I went into this relatinship based on that later he said he was divorced much later I learnt he was very much married I know that.was the time to have walked away but by then he had approched my father and promised to marry me as.soon as he got his divorce should.have.also been more alert when that kept getting delayed but I believed it would happen

Legal_Help (Consultant)     28 June 2011

HI Jean,

I went through your case.... The way you dealt with your relationship appeares to be very foolish, I cant undersatand how a well educated women do like this.

Anyway, it was a mistake on your part....

Where is he now? Do u think you can get him in India through some legal means? I mean by sending court order etc? OR has he left this country for good?

Jean (HM)     28 June 2011

No he is very much in India

Legal_Help (Consultant)     28 June 2011

Then I think u can make his life hell very easily....Find a good criminal lawyer and proceed....

I am out of India now..... In case u need any help then mail me at

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