Parents force me to do marrige without my consent.
Saloni
(Querist) 11 December 2016
This query is : Resolved
Dear sir, I am 23 yrs girl from Ujjain, I do Arya samaj marrige with my boyfriend who is 28 years old. Now I am married. But my parents till do my marriage with another boy. They know that I am married with him. Still they force me to do marrige with another boy. They do emotionlyblackmail. Can you just guide me how to come out this situation. I dont give divorce to my boyfriend even he also dont want to give divorce.jaha tak mujhe pta h ki ek marrige k bad aap dusri marrige nhi Kar sakte. What I do now. Can you give me some legal suggestions.
Guest
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Ms. Saloni, your story seems to be quite a hypothetical academic story!
If not please clarify --
Yadi tumhen pta hai ki ek marriage ke baad doosri marriage nahin kar sakti, why you don't live with your husband with whom you have already married, why living with your parents, who blackmail you emotionally?
Go and live with your husband, so that your parents may not emotionally blackmail you.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 11 December 2016
" I dont give divorce to my boyfriend even he also dont want to give divorce."
you still address him as BOY FRIEND. Seems you have not acknowledged him as husband.
Guest
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Mr. Sudhir's observation also confirms that yours was merely a hypothetical academic question.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 11 December 2016
आपकी जिस लड़के से शादी की जा रही है उसे बता दें कि, ब्याहता स्त्री के साथ शादी करके वह एक गैरकानूनी काम कर रहा है और आपके पति कि शिकायत पर उसके खिलाफ जारकर्म का मामला दर्ज होगा और आपकी शिकायत पर बलात्कार (य प्रयास ) का मामला बनेगा | आपके और उसके परिवार के सभी सदस्यों को भी शरीकेजुर्म मानकर उपरोक्त FIR में अभियुक्त बनाया जा सकता है
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 11 December 2016
पर ऐसा करने से पहले मान लें कि क्या ईमानदारी से आप दोनों स्वयं को विवाहित मानते (दिल से) भी है | ढींगरा महोदय ने पाया कि आप अलग रह रहे हैं,
ऐसा क्यों?
यह भी देखा गया है कि आप उसे husband नहीं Boy friend कह रही हैं
ऐसा क्यों?
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Stay with your husband with whom you are married.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 11 December 2016
स्पष्ट है कि आप दोनों हिन्दू हैं, आपकी दोनों की जाति क्या है?
इस सूचना से शायद आपको और सलाह दी जा सके कि आप जन्मदाताओं को और कितना बर्बाद कर सकती हैं
Saloni
(Querist) 11 December 2016
Humne 1 month pehle shadi Kar li thi. Mujhe yeh bat bohot acche se Pata thi ki agar me meri family ko mere husband k bare me bataungi toh vo kabhi nhi manenge. Aur meri shadi forcefully kahi aur Kar denge. Isliye mere husband aur mene decide ki pehele hum shadi Kar lete hai phir hum mere parents ko bataenge. To make my life safe mene yeh step Liya Tha. Nhi leti toh mere ghr wale meri shadi kahi aur Kara dete.
Saloni
(Querist) 11 December 2016
Abjab mene mere parents ko bataya aur bohot hadd tak samjhya bhi par vo nhi man Rahe hai. Aur bol Rahe h ki agar mene unke pasand kiye ladke se shadi nhi ki toh vo log suicide Kar lenge. Me agar mere husabd k sath rahi toh vo suicide Kar lenge. Is Tarah se mujhe blackmail Kar Rahe hai.
Saloni
(Querist) 11 December 2016
Abjab mene mere parents ko bataya aur bohot hadd tak samjhya bhi par vo nhi man Rahe hai. Aur bol Rahe h ki agar mene unke pasand kiye ladke se shadi nhi ki toh vo log suicide Kar lenge. Me agar mere husabd k sath rahi toh vo suicide Kar lenge. Is Tarah se mujhe blackmail Kar Rahe hai.
S.B.adil rahman
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Aisa lagta hai aap kuchh chhupa rahi hain. Agar aap ki shadi such much mey ho gayee hai tow dobara bina divorce diye doosri bar kaise ho sakti hai?Kya aap k maa baap itney illiterate hain k wo basic baat nahi samajhtey. Aap ne shayed apni shadi k barey mey bataya hi nahi hai iss liye ye problem aa rahi hai. Aap shadi register karwayen aur certificate unhe dikha dein. Agar iss k baad bhi wo nahi mantey hain tow police thaney jaiye, mahila commission to likhiye, human rights commission ko likhiye, police mey case kijiye. Lekin ye sab aap uss ghar mey baith kr nahi kar sakti hain. Aap husband k ghar q nahi jati hain? Kya wo aap ko rakhney k kabil nahi hai ya uss k yahan bhi wohi problem hai jo aap k yehan hai?
Guest
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Tumhari story kuchch jamm nahi rahi hai.
Toh kya mahoorat dekh rahe thay ki kab parents ko batayenge?
Yadi shadi kar hi li hai toh nibhao, shadi register karao, police ko inform karo ki tumhare parents suicide ki dhamki de kar shadi doosri jagah karwana chahte hain. Nahin karti toh doosri shadi ke badd bhi unhein shayad suicide karne ki zarrorat mahsoos ho jaye jab tumhari shadi illegal karaar di jayegi, tumhare parents ko dhkheybaaz kaha jaye, chhod diya jaye, court mein case kar diya jaye, aur na tum idhar ki rahogi, na udhar ki.
Guest
(Expert) 11 December 2016
In this question, you have become 23 years old and had already married one month back in Arya Smaj Mandir, while in another question, 18 days back, you were 22 years old and you were still to get married with your boy friend and proposed to marry in arch 2017, as per your question --
"I Am a girl. My age is 22 years old. Im in love with a boy who is 28 years old. We both live in same society. Can we do marrige with Arya samaj. Is it valid if we do marrige in March 2017. And if do in indore m.p."
Your other question is available at the following link:
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Arya-samaj-marrige-valid-or-not-623771.asp
This gives a very clear hint that you have posted merely a hypothetical academic query, not a personal problem.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Why to repeat?
Please post your further question in same previous thread.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Don't repeat.
Stay with your husband with whom you are married.
Both of you may focus on working and becoming self sufficient and financially independent.
With time relatives may forget and accept you.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Marriage without divorce would be an illegal act.
Agree with expert Kumar Doab.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 11 December 2016
Thanks for agreeing, Mr. Goyal.
Ms.Usha Kapoor
(Expert) 12 December 2016
come to terms that he is no longer your boy friend. He is your husband.If you succumb to you parents pressure you will end up in jail for the offence of bigamy.
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Fully agreed with Mr Rehman and Ms Usha Kapoor. I will elaborate as under
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
असल में फिल्मों में हीरो और हीरोइन को इस प्रकार की शादी करने के लाखों रूपये मिलते हैं| जिससे वह अपने वास्तविक जीवन की परिवार को ऐश्वर्यपूर्ण जीवन देते है. | ऐसा पहली बोलती फ़िल्म अछूत कन्या (जब अशोक कुमार 18 वर्ष के थे) से होता आ रहा है | स्क्रिप्ट में लिखे डायलॉग बोलते है और शूटिंग के बाद मेकअप पोंछकर घर चले जाते है
आप जैसे चल पड़ते हैं नक़ल करने जब कि माता पिता का सामना करने की और स्वतन्त्र जीवन जीने की सामर्थ्य और साहस नहीं होता |
चोरी छुपे चोरों की तरह शादी करते हैं तो स्पष्ट है कि शादी का दायित्व निभाने का कोई विचार नहीं होता | न तो खुले आम शादी करने कि हिम्मत होती है और न एक साथ रहने की| मजाकिया शादी करके कानून अड़चन मोल ले लेते है |
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
जैसी प्रकिया आर्य समाज मन्दिर वाले अपनाते हैं वहां होने वाली शादी कानूनन अमान्य नहीँ होती, ऐसा एहतियात वह करते है, आप जैसे वहां रोज आते हैं| यदि वह गैर कानूनी काम करने लगें तो 90 प्रतिशत जीवन जेल में रहेंगे | अत: आपकी शादी पूर्ण और बाध्यकारी है |
अब आप अगर दुबारा शादी करती हैं (स्वाभाविक है कि वर पक्ष को धोखा देकर) तो आप और वह बदनसीब लड़का जेल जा सकता है, आपका मूल पति (जिसे आप आज भी boy friend मानती हैं) ऐसा कर सकता है, यदि चाहे तो | उसके पास आपका पति होने का प्रमाण है |
और दूसरा पति भी पलटवार करे तो धोखाधड़ी के मामले में आप माता पिता सहित जेल जा सकती हैं |
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
अगर आप दोनों लोग तलाक के लिए मान भी जाएँ तो डेढ़ साल तो इंतजार काना ही होगा | मात्र घर बैठकर हस्ताक्षर करने से तलाक तो फिल्मों में ही होता है जबकि आपका जीवन सिनेमाघर और उसके परदे से से बाहर है | और डेढ़ साल तह यह रिश्ता मौजूद रहता है या और कोई रिश्ता मिल जायेगा यह तो आपके माता पिता ही जान सकते हैं |
आपका पति (जिसे आप आज भी boy friend मानती हैं) राजी न हो तो आपके बताये तथ्यों से कहीं नहीं दीखता कि क्या आपके पास तलाक लेने के लिए न्यायालय जाने का कोई भी कारण होगा |
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
बिना तालक दूसरी शादी करना अपराध है और उसके लिए आत्महत्या की धमकी देकर मजबूर करना (या मजबूर होना) भी अपराध होगा | आपके माता पिता किस गलतफहमी में आपको अपराधिन बनाना चाहते है और खुद जेल जाना चाहते है यह तो वही जान सकते हैं (संभवत: कभी थाने में एक रात भी नहीं काटी और सच्चाई से अनभिज्ञ हैं बेचारे नहीं जानते कि २=२+४ ) | शायद वह नहीं जानते कि घर आकर पुलिस द्वारा ले जाना वदनामी का कारण होता है और बेटा/बेटी की मूर्खता को स्वीकार करना नहीं |
और फिर पुलिस तो अपने तरीके से काम करती है | उनको ऐसा प्रशिक्षण होता है कि आत्महत्या की धमकी को तो आसूँ के रास्ते बाहर कर देते है | आपके माता पिता (जोकि बताये तथ्यों के अनुसार आपसे ज्यादा कायर लगते हैं ) तो आपके 100 डॉयल करने पर अपने दरवाजे पर सफेद जीप देखकर सुर बदल लेंगे, नहीं तो पुलिस जानती है कि क्या करना होगा
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
"bohot hadd tak samjhya bhi par vo nhi man Rahe hai."
थाने में मान जायेंगे
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
"Mujhe yeh bat bohot acche se Pata thi ki agar me meri family ko mere husband k bare me bataungi toh vo kabhi nhi manenge."
क्यों?
स्पष्ट है कि आप दोनों हिन्दू हैं, आपकी दोनों की जाति क्या है?
इस सूचना से शायद आपको और सलाह दी जा सके कि आप जन्मदाताओं को और कितना बर्बाद कर सकती हैं
S.B.adil rahman
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Mushkil ye hai k hum sabhi part of problem bn rahey hain...where as part of solution hona chahyey. Agar dono baligh hain aur vote mey sarkar chun saktey hain tow husband ya wife chunney ki bhi chhamta in k andar hai.Ab solution to yehi hai k agar shadi nahi hui hai...jaisa k lagta hai tow shadi na Karen...Agar shadi chupe chori kr bhi li hai tow phir ya tow consequence face Karen ya dono bhag jayen. Aaj k zamaney mey ladke bina daan dahej k miltey nahi hain. Phir agar daan dahej ki bina koi mila hai to ladki saas susur aur salo ko khush hona chahiye k beti ya bahan ney ek badi uplabdhi kr li hai. Jis k liye log apne bachho ko padhatey and aur sare jivan ki kamai laga detey hain in ki shadi mey, wahan ladki ne pehli hi ball per sixer mar diya. Asal mey counselling mahila ko darker nahi hai, in k maa baap ko legal counselling chahiye...mahila tow achhi beti ka farz nibha rahi hain... dono haat mey laddoo rakhna chahti hai..We all should convey best of luck to her.
Guest
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Mr. Adil Rehman,
It seem you have not read my observations. If you believe that the story of the author is true and all of us have become part of the problem, you are free to become part of a viable solution, when before 19 days, the author was unmarried and proposed to marry only in March 2017 and now she is married for the last one month. So, she married and became unmarried also after 11 days of her marriage, as per her last question available at:
Your other question is available at the following link:
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/experts/Arya-samaj-marrige-valid-or-not-623771.asp
So, do you believe she has some problem or making fun of the experts.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 December 2016
You have already clarified in the thread that"
"Humne 1 month pehle shadi Kar li thi. "
So as per your own post you are married.
Stay with your husband with whom you are married.
Both of you may focus on working and becoming self sufficient and financially independent.
With time relatives may forget and accept you.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Advised properly by the experts.
You are married.
Can not marry without divorce.
Divorce can be finalized after min. one and half years.
You with your parents may be in trouble if you marry without divorce.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Mr.Adil Rehman has also appropriated;
'Asal mey counselling mahila ko darker nahi hai, in k maa baap ko legal counselling chahiye'
S.B.adil rahman
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Mr. Dhingra Sir,The girl is getting confused. I did not mean to be offensive. Every one has right to see the things from his own angle. That may be right or wrong. I am unable to under stand the factual position by other threads and advises which is felling on deaf ears. Ye aisa problem hai jis ka solution nahi hai..baat cruel lagti hai but it is the stark realty.How can the Advocates or Police build a home of happiness balancing both the sides? The boy's comment is not available.His family's reaction is also not available. Law is crystal clear that parents have no say in the marriages of adult children. But I feel the girl is being emotionally black mailed...hence if it be so how can the Advocate help? This is social problem. Hope I am clear.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 December 2016
You and your husband can inform police.
You can inform the other boy and his family also that you are already married.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 December 2016
What is the stand of your husband?
Sudhir Kumar, Advocate
(Expert) 12 December 2016
"maa baap ko legal counselling chahiye"
सरकार ने इसी काम के लिए थाने खोले हैं
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 12 December 2016
Mr. Sudhir Kumar is very right.
Guest
(Expert) 12 December 2016
The author is silent, not coming forth with any clarification on her own contradictory stories, but the experts are more and more eager to provide counseling on their own assumptions. Nice example!
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 13 December 2016
Agree with the guidance from expert Sudhir Kumar.
Kumar Doab
(Expert) 13 December 2016
Mr. Sudhir Kumar has illustrated.
Rightly observed by Mr. Rajendra K Goyal.
