Wife tortured by husband, now husband want to divorce

SYED EQUBAL AHMAD (Querist) 17 December 2014 This query is : Resolved
I am brother of the girl(bride), husband now wants to divorce even her father in law is in favour of divorce, girl does not have father, I am her brother the girl has a boy child aged 3yrs from the marriage. the marriage had completed 4yrs now girl want to fight a legal battle for her right to children and financial compensation. But the boy father is an influential person as well as a very renowned advocate. Please suggest how things should be taken forward I am attaching the letter written by boy's father and reply by the girl for your ref.

Thanks and Regards,

Equbal
9990960166
new delhi

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ajay sethi (Expert) 17 December 2014
no attachments found . if girl does not want divorce she should file Dv case . seek compensation for torture undergone , maintenance and other reliefs. also seek custody of children

SYED EQUBAL AHMAD (Querist) 17 December 2014
ATTACHMENT IS AS UNDER

GROOM'S FATHER'S CONDITION FOR DIVORCE

As the parties (Husband & Wife), in their larger interest have decided not to live together & bring an end to their matrimonial relationship and as such with their free & voluntary consent and in presence of their close relatives and well wishers have agreed as follows-:
1) The Husband shall give an irrevocable divorce (TALAQ-E-BAIIN) to his wife as provided in Shariat. The wife has no objection to this divorce from her husband.
2) The husband will pay to his wife Rs Fifty One Thousands (Rs 51,000) being the amount of DAIN-E-MOHAR (Dower) & also Rs Twenty Thousands (Rs 20,000) for IDDAT period.
3) The husband shall also voluntary pay a sum of Rs Two Lacs One thousand (Rs 2,01,000) to his wife at the time of divorce.
4) The father is willing to keep the child under his care and custody and to maintain him. However, if the mother does not agree to part with the custody of the child, in that case she can keep the custody of the child & maintain him till the chid completes the age of seven years and thereafter she will hand over the custody of the child to the father in accordance with Shariat. In case the mother remarries before the child completes the age of seven years, then she will hand over the custody of the child to the father before her second marriage.
5) The father shall pay a sum of Rs Five Thousand (Rs 5,000) per month for the first year of the custody of the child to the mother for the maintenance of the child. There shall be an annual increase @ Rs One Thousand (Rs 1,000) per month of the above said maintenance till the child completes the age of seven years. The father shall also bear the actual expenses towards the education of the child (which shall include the school fee, books, uniform & other allied expenses) in any good school chosen by father.
6) The father shall have the right to meet his son as per the father's convenience. The mother or any of her relative shall put no objection or put any hindrance. If they do so, the father shall have the right to take back his son from the custody of the mother
7) All the aforesaid amounts & expenses shall be paid to the the mother of the child through account payee bank draft/cheque/account transfer. The monthly maintenance amount for child shall be paid at least one month in advance. 8.) In case of any future dispute or differences, the FATAWAH / Arbitration by IMARATE —E-SHARIA Bihar/Jharkhand shall be binding on the parties.

GIRL'S (BRIDE) REPLY TO BOYS (HUSBAND'S) FATHER

There are following points must be mentioned in the paper for making this process amicably accepted and mutually agreed. Going through the draft divorce proposal is giving the impression that wife is simply a submissive status in the form of human being in marriage and in divorce. Both worldly and religious, wife should be treated equally and any unfortunate event does not happen without any reason. There are several incidents and irresponsible behaviour, which lead the situation worse and there are few major incidents, which should be incorporated in the proposed draft of divorce paper.
Here, I, Iffat Anjum am sharing my point of view in 3 parts. In first part, I am sharing those circumstances and situation which have forced me to keep myself away from my husband. In second part, I am sharing my point of view on the draft proposal of divorce and in third part, I am sharing my husband misbehaviour and disrespecting on decision taken mutually in the presence of well-wishers in February 2014.
The draft proposal for divorce should include the circumstances leading to the unfortunate decision of separation.The situation and circumstances are explained as under:
Circumstances and Situations

• Our marriage was based on mutual consent between me and my husband.
• I left my job after few days of my marriage as I was considering that my presence in my home would make my husband a better practising Muslim. After few months, my husband forced me to work again for meeting expenditure related for buying household stuffs in our home.
• Few months after marriage my husband objected on practice Hijaab and after few months of my marriage with him, he started stopping me practice hijab and mocking me as backward, abused me for doing it and lastly threatened me to divorce if I would not stop wearing hijab.
• My husband always forced me to wear that kind of dress, which are prevented in Islam and I was humiliated almost on daily basis for not accepting his non Islamic advice to show off myself in public place.
• The behaviour of one of the male member of the family who regularly visited our house was highly objectionable to me because of his sexual advances. Despite my repeated reporting to my husband he neither heeded on my observation nor accepted my suggestion to stop that person coming to our house.He forced me to meet that particular person every time as my husband invited him regularly coming to our house despite my objections.
• My husband always allowed his family members specially his sister and his brother in law to interfere in our family life. His brother in law once behaved quite objectionably with me, despite sharing about this incident with my husband, he never took any steps to protect the dignity of his wife in true Islamic sense and manners.
• There was misunderstanding happened in which I was accused. I explained everything truthfully to my Husband. But he did not accept my view. Lastly, he forced me to swear of my father (who passed away) and then told me that then he would believe on my words. I was so disturbed and tensed but I did swear even after my husband did not stop accusing me and believing on me. This incident happened in my in laws house in Ranchi.
• My husband used to tell me continuously and consistently that he does not want to stay with me so he used to create problematic situation for me at home.
• My husband threatened me that he would bring me in such a low situation and would create life miserable for me and my son, where I would beg for me and my son for survival from him.
• During my pregnancy period, my husband did not allow me to go for availing better medical and caring facilities as he wanted to avail financial benefits for his working organization without considering the basis needs and caring of pregnant wife. Consequently, I have been suffering from thyroid related ailment and having lifelong medication as the reason of this ailment clearly stated in recognized medical practitioners. During my pregnancy period, his uncaring behaviour and unsupportive actions forced me to deal hard with my body and suffered a strange form of bodily pains, which are lifelong suffering as it seems to me.
• That my husband used to regulate my food intake during pregnancy period despite knowing that girl uses to have more food urge during pregnancy. He regulated my food intake and started commenting on my extra weight. Consequently, I was in deep depression and told him several times to avoid commenting on my extra weight and he started ignoring me at home.
• My husband continuously used to accuse me for my physical appearance even after my repeated request for not to accuse me in front of strangers he insulted and accused me, which further resulted in sleepless night and I fall ill for days. With advice from my well-wishers I went to meet doctor who suggested me to bring my husband along to meet him together immediately.My husband refused to come along with me and never showed any affection to reduce my depression.
• My husband refused to take me to any other physician when I was continuously ill after my pregnancy.
• My husband shared about his intention of getting married with other girl several times to me and threatened me to face dire consequence if I reveal his intention to her family members or his family members in any circumstances or conditions. I have been faced several kind of physical and mental harassment because of showing my objection over his interest towards other girl and his non Islamic behaviour
• My husband does not practice tenets of Islam on regular basis as per Islamic ways. Whenever I suggested him to follow basic tenets, he used to use abusing language for me and also harassed me for suggesting him to be practicing Muslim.
• Whenever I used to face life threatening situation at home, I used to contact my family members. My family members tried their best to convince me to go back to my husband. Few times, my brother had discussion with my husband but my husband behaved badly with my brother and my mother.
Point of View on the draft proposal of divorce:

In so far as the terms and condition of divorce is concern, I beg to mention therein that the proposed divorce proposal incorporates shariat rule without considering my husband’s action and behaviour, which were thoroughly non Islamic and I had experienced of these in person while staying with him.
• That my marriage was based on mutual consent between me and my husband as we knew each other many years before marriage. At the time of marriage, there was proposal from him and his family to perform engagement ceremony, which is not at all Islamic in nature. Our family was forced to organize this ceremony in five star hotel in Patna. They also forced us to spend extra on food and gift items. Consequently, we spent almost 5 lakhs Rupees for this force celebration.
Apart from this, Nikah ceremony was also forcefully suggested to organize in such an extravagant affair. Again my family forced to spend almost 8 lakhs Rupees unnecessarily for meeting my husband’s demand. Besides this, gifts worth of almost 3 lakhs Rupees were given to me, which were left in my husband’s house and later used by his family members. So, around 16 lakhs rupees would be returned to me as my husband forced us to appease his and his family members demand.
He would also returned me my salary which deposited in his bank account in Delhi and also to mention that I could have earned but could not do so because to save my married life. Here, I demand to get around 8 lakhs rupees for losing job for him. He sold all my household stuffs without my knowledge in June 2014, which was worth of 3 lakhs Rupees. Therefore, I claim 27lakh rupees from my husband to pay me.
• That I hereby to mention that I suggested my husband to get our marriage registered under the marriage act but he never took any step for making it possible.
• In so far as the upbringing of the child is concern some of my experiences which was shocking and painful is given here under:
 Last year, I called my Husband during winter time to get back my and my son warm clothes which was lying in our Delhi house. He out rightly rejected and scolded me. He threatened me for facing dire consequences if I go to collect my and my son warm clothes from Delhi house.
 That my husband was quite influenced from his sister and his brother in law on taking medical related decision. There was a time, when my son was continuously sick and suggested my husband to visit another doctor. But he was denying consulting other doctor because he never took his own decision and dependent on his relative decision. Finally, I forced my husband to visit the renowned child specialist and doctor had lot of questions being delayed for visiting her. Doctor suggested few medical tests and wanted us to visit her with test record. My husband not visited her again despite my several requests.
 That my husband denied caring me at home when I had dengue and also suggested me to call someone from my brother’s home to look after my son. My husband is not caring husband and neithercaring father.
 I have been physically and mentally harassed and he once pressed my neck in such an extent as I was almost breathless and started swearing. This happened when I objected him for thinking about other girl and he shouted over me on his high pitch. On that time, my son started crying after seeing this as my husband was dragging me towards wall probably to hold strong grip over my neck and to dash my head over wall. After seeing this, my son started crying heavily and then my husband did lose his grip from my neck when I shouted at him several times to make him notice that my son was crying bitterly.
 I again in continuity to share with conviction that my husband is biological father but he never shared any kind of affection and caring towards our son. So his behaviour and character don’t match with the basic essence of fatherhood. Therefore, I feel threaten to meet him and my son in person as I experienced it which has been elaborately stated below, and do not have faith on him for giving humane treatment to my son.
 I have been working in education sector and know theory and practice of child learning and development better than my husband. As I have studied Honours in Education and I am capable enough both religiously and worldly to choose best education institute and environment for my son now and in future. I want my son to get educated in true Islamic way of learning and dealing worldly knowledge to make the world a better and worthy place.
 That my husband shall have right to meet my son on the basis of my convenience and my condition as his behaviour which I experienced quite outrageous and violent during my stay with him. He visited my home at Samastipur without any prior information and again misbehaved with me and blamed on my character. As I had experience of miserable life and life threatening situation from my husband, so I would never allow my husband to meet my son alone and my well-wishers would be available whenever my husband would meet my son.
Misbehaviour and disrespecting on decision taken mutually in Feb 2014

In February 2014, as meeting was held in Dalsingsarai, Bihar to resolve our dispute and reach to some amicable solution in presence of relatives and well-wishers of both the families. It was declared that in the ensuing six months’ time I and my husband would contact each other over phone, so that we could ourselves solve our problem.
• One day my husband called me and started abusing and shouting on phone and threatened me and my family members. I was forced to stop talking with him as his behaviour and words for my elders and well-wishers were quite objectionable.
• After facing another phase of humiliation and disrespect, I shared my concerns with my elders and well-wishers. They also had similar kind of experience from him as he called them and behaved outrageously. I stopped talking with my husband after getting suggestion from my well wishers
• In June 2014, my husband came to my home without prior information and I was cooking dinner for my son. He blamed on my character and threatened me for facing dire consequences. It was a mental harassment for me. I told him to leave immediately otherwise I would call police for help. As my mother was not at home and I was alone on that time.
• In the meeting in Feb 2014, it was decided that we would meet again in six month means August 2014 again. Me, my husbandand all the members in the meeting agreed on this condition. Our family and well-wishers were in conversation on reaching some amicable solution of our dispute. Despite all these fact in June 2014 he sold out all my household stuffs which were lying in Delhi without my information and knowledge. I got to know about his irresponsible action and behaviour in October 2014. He called my brother and said that he would not keep me and my son any longer with him. This case is tantamount of disrespecting decisions in his part and his behaviour clearly giving the message that he wanted to keep me and my son away from him.
• My husband is careless and individual centric person and he is not Islamic in practice so I would not live with him as my life would be under continuous threat.
As I know my husband many years and as I experienced worse situation during my days and years with him, so I have taken further steps and appropriate actions for protecting myself and my son, from further violation of our basis human rights, preventing myself facing domestic violence continuously and protecting myself from meeting his unlawful demands. Therefore, I am ready to accept decision which amicably and respectfully drafted, documented in dignified manner, and allow me also to take breath of solace as human being and to decide my present and future as per my own choice being a practising Muslim person.

V R SHROFF (Expert) 17 December 2014
to long a letter to read.

WIFE MUST FILE DV AS SUGGESTED BY Shri SETHI.
Wife need not agree to Divorce.

Influence does not work in Legal procedure.
Laws are women Oriented.
Mtn is allowed to Muslim wife & child, by HC