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Superman (Executive)     16 August 2014

Wife and her father brother harassing me n my family?

Please help and guide me...me n my family in deep trouble..its only 2 months 17.05.2014 of my marriage and she has done everything she could...our marriage happened through a matrimonial site ...and she lived around 10km away from our house..since my marriage she has been doing things to irritate me n my family...in a closed room she used to give me dhmaki i will jump from 2 floor if u dont agree to what i say...she never listen to me and did what she wanted ..and wanted me to do what she wants ..i did what she wanted ..but every other day she fought with me for any small reason ...slowly slowly she started fighting with my mother and family also but my mother tried her best not to fight ..in a span of 2.5 months she has stayed in her fathers house for almost a month and 10 days i took her to honeymoon out of India spending around 3 lacs ..her father and family visted our house 3 times for fighting in our house ..but out of respect we dint disclosed these issues outside as we thought things are too early to be disclosed ..she and her family will realise their mistake ...but they dint ..now all of a sudden her family falsely alligated my family and me and took us to police station without filing any report..there we agreed to live seprately but after one week they complained in women cell against me n my family when i visited women cell there stance was to compromise but when i again said i am ready to stay alone away from my family .they took next date and went away and nnow asking to have a panchayat in community where they will have their conditions how i will keep their daughter..!!We are God Fearing family all in Jobs and dont have time to deal these situations they know this very well,his father don't do anything and brother works for call center...  I am not able to decide what to do please help ....harrased husband only 2 months of marriage...:( 



 19 Replies

NUT (Programmer)     17 August 2014

You are really a super man!!!.

I guess your horoscope say that you will do two marraiges !!!. Sorry to be funny .

Option 1 more preferred : 

They are testing your pulse man ... You go stay in their house forcibly , lay down in front of their house with your luggage (Like a girl), Don't care about your dignity now .Slowly understand their history ,geography and civics. Then show them who you are :) .

Option 2 : if you still feel that you can live with a psycho .

Tell them its a husband and wife matter and cant be discussed openly , Even her father is a piece of sh*t between husband and wife . Next time he come to your house for fighting give him a slap and ask your mother to register case against him.Tell them you will not stand in Panchayats , Ask them to leave the girl in your house politely otherwise you will face the matter in court ( Divorce or settlement or RCR). Dont be afraid of any one . 

No need to consult lawyers at this stage, handle it youself .

Do never have mercy on such girls !!! make a strong hard decisions now itself , otherwise you are dead for life time .

I will tell you if you take the girl after panchayat , 498a and DV will become strong if they file it against your family . 

Since the girl has taken first step by filing case in Policestation . Write a petition to Inspector and DC of your Locality about impending false 498a and register post it to them . Spread words about their game plan near your residence . Install some spy devices to catch them red handed .

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     17 August 2014

Hi Superman...

 

I assume that you have still more to be done to change and live with your wife.

If you have lost all your hopes and trust on your wife and yourself, then try the below. 

 

Capture proof of your wife's cruelty.

- Buy a good voice recorder and record as many instances where your wife abuses you by words.

- Record all telephone conversation with her.

- Bring all your concerns in the telephonic conversation and record her responses.

- When your wife starts abusing you, call any of your/her relatives and keep the phone on.

  This way her conversation is also recorded and third party on the other side also becomes a witness.

- If possible, write emails to her and record the email responses.

- Tell your friends/relatives/neighbors/her-friends/her-relatives to give a surprise visit to your home during the time when your wife would be fighting with you.

- They all stand as the witness of your wife's cruelty.

Do this over a period of at least 6 months.

During the same time, try your best and sincere efforts to change your wife for good.

After you have got enough evidence, if she has not changed her behavior, file a surprise police complaint.

After a year file divorce petition based on "mental cruelty".

Send the divorce petition to your wife when she is in her parent’s house.

You mention in the divorce petition that your wife has treated you badly.

Mention all instances of cruelty and submit all proofs collected in the last one year.

After few months/years, you will be able to get divorce.

Take other precautionary measures financially. Close any join accounts. 

Do not buy properties in your name. Sell or gift any existing properties to your parents/sister.

Also get ready to face any false cases that your wife might file against you.

When you win her false cases, those cases become proof of the cruelty.

I assume that you have still more to be done to change and live with your wife.

If you have lost all your hopes and trust on your wife and yourself, then try the above. 

Let the best effort be given to save a marriage. That is our cultural strength.

Every member in this forum hopes that as many marriages are saved than broken.

Superman (Executive)     17 August 2014

Iam trying my best to save my marriage but iam not able to decide and think what they want ...i have accepted everything ..to live alone with her leave my parents everything but still they want to keep some conditions and sit in panchayat ....?????

Superman (Executive)     17 August 2014

Iam trying my best to save my marriage but iam not able to decide and think what they want ...i have accepted everything ..to live alone with her leave my parents everything but still they want to keep some conditions and sit in panchayat ....?????

Superman (Executive)     17 August 2014

Iam trying my best to save my marriage but iam not able to decide and think what they want ...i have accepted everything ..to live alone with her leave my parents everything but still they want to keep some conditions and sit in panchayat ....?????

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     17 August 2014

 
PLEASE DO NOT ACCEPT EVERYTHING. 
PLEASE DO NOT ACCEPT EVERYTHING. 
PLEASE DO NOT ACCEPT EVERYTHING. 
 
Because they will push you further for more.
Because they will push you further for more.
Because they will push you further for more.
 
Accept only what is reasonable and just give time for them to come back.
Accept only what is reasonable and just give time for them to come back.
Accept only what is reasonable and just give time for them to come back.
 
 
DO NOT BE IN A HURRY TO SETTLE THINGS FASTER. THAT WILL BE YOUR WEAKNESS.
DO NOT BE IN A HURRY TO SETTLE THINGS FASTER. THAT WILL BE YOUR WEAKNESS.
DO NOT BE IN A HURRY TO SETTLE THINGS FASTER. THAT WILL BE YOUR WEAKNESS.
 
 
Avoid Panchayat of any 3rd party people. They will conduct planned drama using people. 
Avoid Panchayat of any 3rd party people. They will conduct planned drama using people. 
Avoid Panchayat of any 3rd party people. They will conduct planned drama using people. 
 
 
PLEASE DO NOT ACCEPT EVERYTHING. 
Because they will push you further for more.
Accept only what is reasonable and just give time for them to come back.
DO NOT BE IN A HURRY TO SETTLE THINGS FASTER. THAT WILL BE YOUR WEAKNESS.
Avoid Panchayat of any 3rd party people. They will conduct planned drama using people. 
 
Ask for meeting between her, you, your parents and her parents.
Ask her to talk to you over phone and record the conversation.
Ask her parents to talk to your parents over phone and record conversation.

Superman (Executive)     18 August 2014

Now they are trying to negotiate ......i dont know why ...but i have a question..if they negotiate ..how to close the false complain against me n my family ..is there any procedure to follow ..pls guide..i want to remove all false allegations against us...

498 WARRIOR (wqeqeqe)     19 August 2014

u kept ur name superman....and acting like a weak person.

 

1. be brave. i know its tough right now...but all will be easier in some time. we all on this forum have gone through such phases or even worst than you. just be CALM...never never never show your anger. tell this to all in your family. If she records your shouting / abuses / hitting..........you are screwed bad.

 

2. Your story says, you have'nt done anything bad to her...........then do not worry. no one can do anything to you...   your case will be filed only after a year, hence if they negotiate, do that... If you both settle for a mutual divorce.....do that. That the easiest and best thing to do....

 

3, keep collecting evidences. recording devices / cctv's etc always help. keep sms's / emails saved. ensure the neighbours support you, though they would never interfere.

Superman (Executive)     19 August 2014

Pls guide me ..any legal procedure to close this false complain in women cell that is if they try tonegotiate in terms of we both husband wife live alone ..my question in that case is how i close that false complain....

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     19 August 2014

Hi Superman...

As your wife gave the complaint, she has to withdraw the same.

If your wife want to negotiate, ask her to withdraw the complaint.

If she does not agree to withdraw the complaint, there is no point in going for negotiation.

Or they should agree to withdraw the complaint at least after negotiation.

Superman (Executive)     20 August 2014

Yesterday we had sat in a panchayat..and i made clear to everybody..that i will live alone without any conditions and everybody agreed on the statement ..and meeting closed on the decision that i will take a house on rent.Today i called my wife to see the house..but she dint showed any interest and said something or the other about the house and found some reason so that ws argue and start keepin decsions that all things should be there before i come bck in the house..and argued and went away..iam not able to understand her actions what she wants....???

Superman (Executive)     20 August 2014

Yesterday we had sat in a panchayat..and i made clear to everybody..that i will live alone without any conditions and everybody agreed on the statement ..and meeting closed on the decision that i will take a house on rent.Today i called my wife to see the house..but she dint showed any interest and said something or the other about the house and found some reason so that ws argue and start keepin decsions that all things should be there before i come bck in the house..and argued and went away..iam not able to understand her actions what she wants....???

Superman (Executive)     22 August 2014

She and her father is not letting us live...she is continously calls me in office and not letting me do my work..as i updated above we took decesion of living alone 3 times at 3 different places and the women cell date has still not arived and they are trying their best to harass me n my family...now tommrow i.e. 23.08.2014 is the women cell date and i feel still i dont think still they are ready to come to a decesion..(me not abke to understand their intention) iam being directed by my office to go out of city for official work for 15 days ..what can i do now..can i also ask time a women cell ?? Also is their any time limit to decide a case at women cell??pls guide.. Harrased Husband fighting for himself and family..:-(

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     22 August 2014

You have to make your intentions clear and  in writing before the women cell that you are ready to live with her at a separate residence but without interference from her relatives and also on an assurance by her that she will not repeat her threats and she withdraws her false complaint, if she is not okay with this proposal, you may ask them to proceed legally which you can face it through court by engaging a lawyer.


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