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supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

Threat of cases

Hello forum members,

 

I am asking this query on behalf of my brother. My brother got married in 2012 and my SIL left our home within 2 months. My brother is little arrogant but at the same time, he got married with his own will and my parents have not objected. The girl is also from our community and she is well educated and working. Because of minor misunderstandings she left the home.

 

According to her my parents are harassing her with comments on a daily basis and also my brother is taking money from her without giving her any money. Her parents are influential they denied sending their daughter to our house as she is not happy mentally over here.

Elders from her family tried to patch with certain conditions, but my brother dint accept them. Lot of minor disturbances happened during the course of time .

Now she filed a complaint in mahila thana and they called us,....only my brother my father asked an advocate and somehow managed to send my brother to different city.

Now we are also plannig to send him abroad.

The thing is DCP of that zone is now approached by the girl and my father was in remand for one day. We gave a statement that we dont know whereabouts of my brother, now the police has done some badobast for all of us. They are keeping an eye. My parents were asked to file a FIR on missing of my brother and submit to mahila thana.

Now we are not filing an FIR as we know where he is and also our advocate is saying that its better if the girl files a 498a against us,  we can get bail and also as A1 is not here we wont be arrested and we can apply for bail for my brother and he wont come back to india for somemore time.

What is the best remedy available to go for MCD and also to settle the issue here. Please give a correct advice. My brother wont stay his wife at any cost. He is not willing to patch up at any cost.

thanking you



Learning

 29 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     01 September 2013

 

 

 

Originally posted by : supriya

 

XXX I am asking this query on behalf of my brother. My brother got married in 2012 and my SIL left our home within 2 months. My brother is little arrogant but at the same time, he got married with his own will and my parents have not objected. The girl is also from our community and she is well educated and working. Because of minor misunderstandings she left the home.
According to her my parents are harassing her with comments on a daily basis and also my brother is taking money from her without giving her any money. Her parents are influential they denied sending their daughter to our house as she is not happy mentally over here.
Elders from her family tried to patch with certain conditions, but my brother dint accept them. Lot of minor disturbances happened during the course of time .
Now she filed a complaint in mahila thana and they called us,....only my brother my father asked an advocate and somehow managed to send my brother to different city.
Now we are also plannig to send him abroad.
The thing is DCP of that zone is now approached by the girl and my father was in remand for one day. We gave a statement that we dont know whereabouts of my brother, now the police has done some badobast for all of us. They are keeping an eye. My parents were asked to file a FIR on missing of my brother and submit to mahila thana.
Now we are not filing an FIR as we know where he is and also our advocate is saying that its better if the girl files a 498a against us,  we can get bail and also as A1 is not here we wont be arrested and we can apply for bail for my brother and he wont come back to india for somemore time.
What is the best remedy available to go for MCD and also to settle the issue here. Please give a correct advice. My brother wont stay his wife at any cost. He is not willing to patch up at any cost.

 

1.    My advise is to seek 'Decree of separation’ for the couples from a civil Court.  Reason being a separation decree will give them time for an year to re-consider and or workout their differences and simultaneously before society their marital ties – bond is also not broken and further current volatility by both sides for and counter approaches – hiding – fear or arrest – bail and cost of litigations for all these as being done as per brief will also come to end for the time being. Once such decree passed he can even visit overseas and girl – her side can also live in peace for almost a year. After a year if they cannot patch up then divorce decree is granted with one time alimony to wife as per status of parties.

2.    A person is not required to talk on behalf of another person which is what Law of the land says. If police asked your father about your brother then either he should says facts of his whereabouts or even if does not wish to says such facts then he should keep mum is what Law states. He instead said prime facie (assumed to be) a false statement before police so Police is duty bound since a Complaint from wife is alive before them so they seek in writing a missing persons FIR report copy so that next action they can take on complaint matter.
Unless they have in writing about main accused husband's missing person report how anyone in authority can believe that husband is missing by simply saying verbally? Tomorrow god forbid he is found dead in the woods then bigger law and order situation gets developed hence police action in questioning your father is justifiable is my opinion. Also this is cause - effect of using
adversial family Laws
if volatile situations are not better handled well in time. 
Currently what your side is told to do is playing hide-n-seek and tall talks of bail - desertion - cruelties and thus getting entangled in present adversial Law situation and not much relief in present OR as long term peace will come if actual facts are not brought - discussed across table and thus no amicable solution cometh.

3.    For MCD both parties need to amicably agree to certain terms and conditions towards her past, present and future alimony. If your brother does not want to live with her then instead of playing or cause upon to act hide-n-seek opt for ‘separation decree’ and that will give both of them 1 year to think about there marriage and simultaneously he can go overseas without fear of arrest and girl side will also not use social – criminal pressure to bring him-in as being done presently as per your brief.
However, MCD cannot be opted for if 1 year of marriage is not yet completed. MCD will work once he has made up mind not to stay or not to patch up and nowhere you have mentioned what family considers giving towards her alimony or does she says she requires alimony or just ask In Laws and negotiate and consult a seasoned advocate get draft MoU (terms and conditions) made and if 1 year completed of their marriage then amicably approach Court and get over with misunderstandings in shortest possible eventful phase and all of you live in peace. 

1 Like

(Guest)

Your brother seems to be adamant ,and ur family seems to support all his wrong ..ur family din seem to be happy coz he married with his own will,in short u din want him to marry that girl ..no wonder u have supported him to elope  when things could be solved .

1 Like

supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

@ Tajobs and sufferer

 

Both of your advices are correct. To be very frank i am the one of the two daughters of my parents. And i live in a different city from that of my parents. My brother is adamant and arrogant since childhood, even my husband doesnt get along well with my family. I also has few issues after marriage between husband and my parents. I only saw his wife at the wedding when i was there my kids school has started so couldnt stay at my parents city for a long time but till the time i was there my SIL was really good, she was good to me and my kids.

I really feel sorry for her becoz her dad is a cancer surviver and she appears to be of noble intentions. Even my hsuband is now blaming my family for all this non sense. Again the girl is not interested in alimony and also her parents say that they will not leave my brother at any cost. They are ready for compromise provided my family and few relatives give an undertaking that they will take care of her and not torture her. Initially at Mahila thana my family was called for counseling but when they dint turn up the DCP there has turned against us.

Now advocate is asking us to keep quite and let the girl roam around police station for FIR and arrest warrant, my elder brother in law is cunning and i dont have much contacts with my elder sister and her family, he is supporting my parents in all wrong doing. Now my brother is 30 years old. If he files for divorce i dont think we will get in two years.

I spoke to my SIL she says he has spoiled my life and also he will not let her peacefully go for second marriage also. I admit here that my brother is good at emotional blackmail. Now all i can say is that i want to save my parents and brother from all this. BUt they are hell bent to comprmise with her.

At the same time i fear GOD and also have some soft corner for SIL. Is it the right time to file for divorce ? its been 1.6 years that she is not at my parents home. And my parents are saying that the lawyer has given assurance that 498a is nothing just damm till we get bail. After that the dayes will come once in 6 months only, and we can easily get divorce under desrtion and cruelity for filing cases.

What should we do legally in this situation? and i want my family to come out of all these mess.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     01 September 2013

 

Originally posted by : supriya

 

Both of your advices are correct. To be very frank i am the one of the two daughters of my parents. And i live in a different city from that of my parents. My brother is adamant and arrogant since childhood, even my husband doesnt get along well with my family. I also has few issues after marriage between husband and my parents. I only saw his wife at the wedding when i was there my kids school has started so couldnt stay at my parents city for a long time but till the time i was there my SIL was really good, she was good to me and my kids.
I really feel sorry for her becoz her dad is a cancer surviver and she appears to be of noble intentions. Even my hsuband is now blaming my family for all this non sense. Again the girl is not interested in alimony and also her parents say that they will not leave my brother at any cost. They are ready for compromise provided my family and few relatives give an undertaking that they will take care of her and not torture her. Initially at Mahila thana my family was called for counseling but when they dint turn up the DCP there has turned against us.
Now advocate is asking us to keep quite and let the girl roam around police station for FIR and arrest warrant, my elder brother in law is cunning and i dont have much contacts with my elder sister and her family, he is supporting my parents in all wrong doing. Now my brother is 30 years old. If he files for divorce i dont think we will get in two years.
I spoke to my SIL she says he has spoiled my life and also he will not let her peacefully go for second marriage also. I admit here that my brother is good at emotional blackmail. Now all i can say is that i want to save my parents and brother from all this. BUt they are hell bent to comprmise with her.
At the same time i fear GOD and also have some soft corner for SIL. Is it the right time to file for divorce ? its been 1.6 years that she is not at my parents home. And my parents are saying that the lawyer has given assurance that 498a is nothing just damm till we get bail. After that the dayes will come once in 6 months only, and we can easily get divorce under desrtion and cruelity for filing cases.
What should we do legally in this situation? and i want my family to come out of all these mess.

 

Kindly read first reply once again failing which one more time and again one more time and yet again one more time That is what one should be doing in presented facts if one wants to help all parties including SIL. There is no instant remedy. A party can seek relief under any of the S. 9 till S. 13 HMA provided marriage is 1 year old is reply to your 1.6 years question. Even if S. 498a inches every 6 months it is still on family's head. Desertion - cruelty still needs proof and suppose if she files for maintenance under S. 24 HMA (civil) as well as under S. 125 CrPC (quasi civil) as well as under DV Act (quasi criminal) too then it will be interesting what your side's advcoate says on when dates will fall and what would be status at the end in these maintenance cases and in between who is going to foot such multiple litigations fees ! Suppose at some stage she files a Application for surrender of his passport before Passport authorities, then ask this advcoate what is his opinion!
Hence essence;
1. Separation decree now in a Civil Court and later if both parties are not reconciled then seek releif for divorce decree after 1 year. OR
2. MCD Decree very soon after they agreeing amicably on terms and conditions drawing up an MoU and if SIL says no alimony she interested as you say then where is the issue here for MCD!.
3. Contest cases - receive allegations - hurl counter allegations - play hide-n-seek – apply bail - get bail - go overseas etc. etc. as and when face such situations is also one of the options but not conducive in bringing long term peace to all affected parties in presented facts is my view yet inching towards 'adversial laws trap' which is result of cause and effects when parties are not properly guided in such soft briefs properly.

PM also replied.

[Last reply]

1 Like

supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

Hi Tajobs sir thanks for the reply.

Please read my PM and reply only one question please.


(Guest)
Its not only men who suffer cause of this law but whole family. People can be adamant and arrogant,it doesnt mean that he is a criminal.

supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

need advice

i dint get your suggestion. please write clearly so that i can understand. Is it a crime to lie infront of police? What action can be taken by police if a person lies?

gd dy (gd dy)     01 September 2013

@ supriya,
no scope to disagree bt can only say no one is perfect.
ur brother took her money. very bad indeed. if she didnot hv any objection thn u shld take her side whenever u came to knw. raising ur voice, atleast there was some hopt to restriction on his behaviour.
read given details of ur fmly. members bt wht abt ur sil & her fmly members ? if u don't knw thn let ur parent to say in this forum.


(Guest)

@supriya .agree with tajobsindia ...try to convince ur brother and parents ..some advocates just want to extract money, they will never advice u to solve things amicably ...u being a noble women don't try to break the marriage if u can save it ..


(Guest)
Originally posted by : supriya

need advice

i dint get your suggestion. please write clearly so that i can understand. Is it a crime to lie infront of police? What action can be taken by police if a person lies?


Lying is not good.


Its just like digging one's own grave.


Its  the beginning of the end.  Such moral stories am sure have been taught to you when you were in UKG or 1st standard.


But legally, it can land you in jail for a good 5-7 years.


What happens is, 1st lie in Police station, some more lies in court, to cover those lies some more lies.  


Finally, one day the case will get dismissed, but lying under oath, on your deposition before court is a punishable offence, 

1.  For misleading court.

2.  Wasting time of court.

3.  Lying under oath.


5 years minimum imprisonment  + fine in cash say 20k shall be levied by court under prejury.

supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

Hi all,

My family is high on ego and they are sayinng that they were called by police, they dont that girl now. But somewhere even theya re at fault i cant directly point out to them. The thing is they are guided by a crook advocate introduced by my elder BIL and sister. They feel its easy to get away with her..

But all i can say is that after a point a person will become soo frustrated that we cant beg for forgiveness. My SIL has super irritated now. I admit my mother and sister use to comment on her parents and herself which made her loose all the rspect and affection now. After 1.6 years i dont think she is going to let go off all that has happened to her. Once she went to my brother office to talk to him about this issue and he insulted her ove there and also my father use a very bad language that she is licking my brothers ass by going to his office. since then her emotions have gone haywire and she said that no matter what ever happens to her life she is not gonna leave all of them at any cost.

Now my only concern is that father has given in writting to mahila thana regarding no knowledge of brothers whereabouts. What legal action is awaiting us for his false projection by my father?


(Guest)

Supriya......I dont think its a big crime lying for where abouts of your brother. As a parent they might be concerned for him to be safe. 

It seems there are two things u said here

1. U brother is not residing with ur parents. Ur parents have to ask wife where he is!

2. If he is living with wife,then wife what she is doing when she dont know about where her husband is? Is it not her responsibility to file case on him. 

And above all what is the reason that he is not touch with his wife.Is there any fight? Are she provoking him to fight? If there is any threat? these things are really important. 

supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

helping hand

they denied knowing whereabouts at mahila thana. And the SI asked to give in writting that my father will file a missing report because he doesnt know where my brother is? But we know where he is and also we have not filed that missing report.

The girls side will not leave us becoz during wedding we have made them suffer for trival things and now my SIL is saying that inspite of knowing the fact that her dad is not well, we did all suh things but now she will not co operate with us,

What will they do now with that undertaking that father has given at mahila thana?

supriya (home maker)     01 September 2013

need advice

 

i am saying that we know where my brother is and becoz the advcate asked us to den infront of police we did that. Whre is the question of he staying with his wife? when in some way or the other my parents and brothers are only responsibile for her leaving the house.

I serioslu want to knw the intention of why such undertaking was asked to be given in writting by my father? and what implications does it has on us in future?


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