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New_User15 (it)     27 September 2015

My wife threatens me for police complaint

Hi,

 I got married in February 2014. It was a love marriage , intercaste. Right after we took the decision to marray and both the parents met and discussed about marriage process, there were fights started between me and my wife over the expenses. Her parents would discuss with my parents and then told her so that she convinves me to convinve my parents to do the marriage expense from us and they would end up doing whatever they had planned.

 

I did all that convincing and marriage happened. Then right from day 4 of marriage, my wife started fighting with my mother. She was verbally abusing my mother in front of me, calling all kind of names. She started threatening from that point she will leave the house. SOmehow my parents consoled her and made her stay.

Then we came to bangalore. Here also she started fighting with me over the marriage expenses and to mu utter shock told me she has taken a personal loan for marriage expenses. She started blaming and cursing me & my family with all filth language, for her loan etc. Her parents also putting fuel to fire and instead of making here understand were provoking her to make me do as she say.

 

Then came the festivals, my parents told her parents that in 1st year of marriage, there are some customs which we all need to follow and some customs are followed from Bride's house also. Her parents being so clever asked my parents what is done, let them know, and then they forward that to their daughter. And she starts fighting with me on seeing it. She had verbally abused me, physically hit me, spitted on me. I just kept quite and heard it. 

Then my wife started talking to my aunt and she told her all the intimate and talks of our family. She has become a private matter exploding(in hindi "chugalkhor") to my aunt. Any private thing whihc I discuss with her, any private matter which I discuss with her has become public.

Then she has become a big theif also. She checks my emails, phone messages, (she had hacked into my account, my laptop remains unlocked in house, she uses it). She reads all my emails, personal chats which I do with other people, and then she fights with me over what I say.

 

I am in a great dilemma on what to do. My both parents are government servant, and she has made everyone's life hell.

All the time she says do as what I say else I will complain to police, send you and your family to jail.

When my parents try to talk to her parents, and ask them to come meet or they are willing to go and meet, then she tells if that happens, she'll file a police complaint against us.

 

I can't divorce her, but I need peace for my parents and myself, from all these threats and abuses. 

Please advice if there is any leagl way of dealing with this?

 



Learning

 4 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     27 September 2015

file an nc in the police station that your wife and inlaws are threatening to file false cases on you.another thing is dont budge to her threats.just retaliate by saying that you are ready to face anything.before that record all her threatenings and her cruel behaviour and keep it as proofs.

even if she files false cases fight the case on merits.

dont hesitate to divorce her if she doesnt change and goes to the extent of filing false cases and all.

 

prabhakar advocate (advocate)     27 September 2015

After listing so many complaints in the brief period of 15 months marriage, now why do you say that you do not want divorce? Get an advocate and go for divorce. If she files any complaints, contest them on merit. There is nothing for you in this marriage nor for that girl. Do not call it love marriage. It is insulting the word "love".

NATARAJAN IYER (Proprietor)     27 September 2015

Saravanan's advise is direct and perfect.

Advocate Prabhakar's opinion is right.

 

As Saravanan has rightly said, you take steps as he has mentioned here.

 

In fact you need not even visit the police station.

You can send your letter expressing your fears, by registered post, acknowledgement due.

Do not forget to mark a copy to the Asst.Commissioner of Police and to the Deputy Commissioner of Police. 

In the letter to the police inspector, you must mention that copies have been marked to the ACP and DCP.

 

This is one part.

 

The moment you do this, immediately all legal cases might follow since police might not be able to avoid registering the FIR, especially in Bangalore where FIR filing is not at all difficult.

 

The advocate can file via court for her and that PCR too can be converted to

a regular FIR.

Depends on the police inspector and how firm he is in refusing to allow a FIR ( He has the power to do that ).

So be prepared with money, knowledge of law and emotional strength.

 

Take time to read a minimum of fifty posts on matrimonial matters, on this LCI Forum and

then take a decision on your course of action ( whether you want to remain patient for some more years and tackle it emotionally or whether you want to turn the divorce vehicle's  ignition ON )


(Guest)

Have they tried mediation through common friends or a marriage counsellor. It is easy to start court cases but difficult to wind them up in India.In any case police and court will also first refer for mandatory re-concilliation.So betterdo this first. In India litigations appear to be endless and stress will be many time more than fighting with each other at home. Most often girls parents are found to be cause by  meaningless interference. They should leave couple alone.

As per incidents described by you fault appears to be on boys family side. Dont force girls parents to observe customs, if they dont want.Not relevant in modern times.It is reality that even today majority of parents of Indian grooms demand huge dowry and expenses that are perpetual for several years. Even film 'Dulha Bikta hei is still valid'. The boy can even think of living away from parents for some time

If you feel you aretotally innocent and not possible tom continue first seek judicial separation. This may also cool off your spouse heated up mind.


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