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Saba (house wife)     18 December 2011

Husbands stay with divorced - ex wife

Hi,

I have been married for 3.2 years, my hubby was divorced with 3 kids who stay with his ex wife. Even after our marriage he had contacts and was visiting his ex without my knowledge.When I got to know n when I questioned him, my hubby and his family started torturing me( they never allowed me to enjoy my marital bliss n told me im only a caretaker n cook at their place). My hubby left me at my parents place for 2 weeks n when I went back later they refused to accept me and many trials from our end proved futile.My hubby and in-laws conspired to send me to my parents place and I got to know that my hubby was living with his ex wife at her place, when I asked him about me , he stopped taking my calls also.I sent him a notice to keep me separately, he didnot respond and when all trials to persuade him failed , I filed an MC and the case is running in the court since 3 months, I want to live with him.

Please clarify :

1) How ethical is his stay with that woman whom he claims he re- married ( but after divorce if she wants to get married agin to the same guy she needs to marry and get divorced to another man).specify as per muslim laws also.

2) that ex wife is forcing him to divorce me , how can i stop that , i dont want divorce.

3) Im not having kids as they saw that i never had any, medically im fertile enough to conceive.

4) help me with the procedures to get my hubby back and also to get rid of that woman with whom my hubby was never happily married.

 

Please advise as Im currently staying at my parents place and Im not working since my marriage . Im psychologically very disturbed with all this and my health is taking a toll.

 

Please help.

 

Thank you.



Learning

 21 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     18 December 2011

try to settle the matter amicably or u can book him for adultry

Madhu ojha (Orthopedic surgeon)     19 December 2011

Hello I am a Doctor by profession I am facing matrimonial problems since married I am now 61 and stil facing many litigations From my experience of Matrimonial life and the courts working in India, I suggest u to settle the matter out of court  its my experience that even if ur case is clear cut u will not get justice on time so better not to go to court and waste precious time and life. If the man does not have interest in You u better relieve him from the so called boandage of marriage If he compensates its ok and if does not compensate then dont run after compansation Because by the time u will get whatever compansation you must have wasted precious not days but moments of life Its better that U find another better person after thorough check and live a new life with a new hubby This is the most practical way out for u rather than having disputes to grow If he really liked u he would not neglect u at all Pl understand this and enjoy the preciouous moments of life Just for academic interest pl let me know what happened to the matter ultimately My e mail is drmmo50@yahoo.com thank U for reading Dr Oza

5 Like

Aishwarya (Teacher)     19 December 2011

great.dr madhu..

uve advised very clearly and taking ur experience out for everyone..not many people do tht..

saba u may follow wht ms madhu said , every word of her's is so true..

Madhu ojha (Orthopedic surgeon)     20 December 2011

I may correct U Ms Aishwarya that i am a man so mention in yr email as his not her thank U Dr Oza

Aishwarya (Teacher)     20 December 2011

oooopss sorry sir..will do so henceforth..

muneeb (student)     21 December 2011

hey saba if ur in hyderabd u can refer the cases to lok adalat under or request the court to appoint a concilliator  for the setellement .......if further problems do let me know on ...kmau891@yahoo.co.in 

P.R.KABRA (PROFESSIONAL ACCOUNTANT)     23 December 2011

I don't agree with any of the above suggestions.  AMICABLE SOLUTION IS ALWAYS PREFERABLE, but it is not so easy to reach it also.  Approaching the Family Court, (where the cases are closed very fast, comparatively) is also one more option.  I guess that Saba's marriage is not a registered marriage, so there will be more difficulties.  By terming her as caretaker, the husband is treating Saba as his Keep, which is very bad thing.  But now there is hope for her as the Higher Courts of the Country have gave relief to such ladies.  Saba must take advice from the top lawyers and appoint them as her counsellors.

1 Like

T.V.VENKATARAMAN (LAWYER -CONSULTANCY & ADVOCACY)     23 December 2011

I am an Advocate dealing with family court cases both at the the preliminary as well as at the Appelate stage.  What the Dr. says is more than 100% true.  You have to be practical.  Think over .  You can't live with a person who has no liking and consequently  no concer, love for you.  Mere Court directions , decrees will not give the kind of binding relationship which is expected off in matrimony.  I beg to diifer from Mr.P.R.KABRA.    You may retain top lawyers ! But at what cost and TIME.  Your precious youth with be gone.  You will be tormented.  Your shole life will be wasted.  It will be traumatic attending courts .  Gathering evidence against your husband will be a heculean task.  Best is get divorced and try to build a new life with an understanding and caring person.  In Matrimonial matters money and court decrees cannot give the bonding required in family life.  Perfect understanding , love, caring, concern and affection alone will make enjoy the bliss.  Peaceful living is more important than extracting money from your Husband and forcibly making him come to you.

Think over.  Donot waste time and money and your youth.  

1 Like

T.V.VENKATARAMAN (LAWYER -CONSULTANCY & ADVOCACY)     23 December 2011

 

I am an Advocate dealing with family court cases both at the the preliminary as well as at the Appelate stage.  What the Dr. says is more than 100% true.  You have to be practical.  Think over .  You can't live with a person who has no liking and consequently  no concern, love for you.  Mere Court directions , decrees will not give the kind of binding relationship which is expected off in matrimony.  I beg to diifer from Mr.P.R.KABRA.    You may retain top lawyers ! But at what cost and TIME.  Your precious youth with be gone.  You will be tormented.  Your whole life will be wasted.  It will be traumatic attending courts .  Gathering evidence against your husband will be a heculean task.  Best is get divorced and try to build a new life with an understanding and caring person.  In Matrimonial matters money and court decrees cannot give the bonding required in family life.  Perfect understanding , love, caring, concern and affection alone will make you enjoy the bliss.  Peaceful living is more important than extracting money from your Husband and forcibly making him come to you.

Think over.  Donot waste time and money and your youth.

 

regards

 

TEEVEE 

1 Like

Madhu ojha (Orthopedic surgeon)     23 December 2011

Thank You for appreciating my suggestion Mr Advocate  Dr M M OZA

In my case my wife is asking for 15Million Indian Rs for relieving me from bondage of marriage She has used all the gender biased  laws against me She lives in my home We are living in the same flat different rooms different food and water etc. She lived with her parents home at Rajkot for 2 yrs 3 months and since more than 3 yrs she is living in the same flat where i am living in Jamnagar (two different cities) I am paying interim maintanance as per the order of the trial court All cases are pending in various courts since April 2006. I am 61 yrs My practice is affected tremandously How can I surrender to her demand of 1.5 crore? she has given this demand in writing in the court mediation centre. Even then I am not able to do any thing because this country's judiciary system and machinery work in such a way that one cannot get justice till one dies. Even if she finds me so bad to litigate against me under provisions of all gender biased laws she is contesting against me in my divorce petition. If I am so bad that she has to use all prowoman laws agains me why she is not agreeing to divorce This is a simple question to reply She is doing this to black mail me by misusing prowoman laws to EXTORT money Any child can understand Do u think the judges cant understand? Even then I have to suffer She is also wasting her life, life of two kids too. Only law makers should open their eyes to check such misuse of laws. One has to take care of all these legal harrasment  possibilities before deciding to marry a woman I have knowledge power money power even than i cant do any thing becoz i am born in this country  Mr Lawyer Can U tell me what can I do in this situation? Thank U in advance Dr M M OZA drmmo50@yahoo.com

Saba (house wife)     23 December 2011

Mr.Kabra,    

By terming her as caretaker, the husband is treating Saba as his Keep, which is very bad thing. But now there is hope for her as the Higher Courts of the Country have gave relief to such ladies.

Such ladies...what r u intending to say. For ur info im his legal wife n mine is a registered marriage. I have not filed case for maintenance amount but for the mental n phy torture / harassment and d frauds hes done @ every possible stage in my life.  I agree certain section of d women r misusing d facilities avlbl and we cant say that all women are gud n all men r bad.....................its a matter of certain people and their attitudes.

Master Warrior (AOR)     26 December 2011

You do have grounds for divorce even though you don't want to.

I would ignore Amits advice for adultery charges. I believe the definition involves a man who has intercourse "with a woman who he knows or ought to know is married". Since you didnt' say the ex is married, I assume she is not married. Therefore, no criminal charge according to Indian law. That IS however another ground for divorce.

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     27 December 2011

Saba are you a Hindu?

 

if so the re-marriage is not a valid marriage.

 

This also gives you a ground for divorce (whether Hindu or Muslim, it is ground for divorce in both the religions)

 

Now, meet a consellor and discuss your problems threadbare with him'

 

Why would you like to stay with such a man anymore beats my understanding.

 

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

1 Like

Saba (house wife)     28 December 2011

Mr.Venkat,

 

Thank U for the reply.

 

I have my cross questioning round next week.

 

Plz do let know the possible questions that would be posed to me.

 

Im really tensed.

 

Thanks,

Saba


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