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Jastej   25 April 2017

Husband in extra marital affairs

Dear All,

I am married for last 15 years and have a son of 14 years studying in 9th std. Now, I got to know my husband is in extra maritial affair with other women. My married life was very sore since starting. He is Amritdhari Sikh shows himself as a very religious guy but keeping s*xual relationship with his staff teacher for more than 6 years. In starting I was thinking he was Mumas boy and money oriented. He always wants me to give my salary to him. Even in 1st year of my marriage, I had given my whole salaries to my inlaws and they were giving me pocket money. My husband always said me to return the balance pocket money which I never done that it was my pocket money. Then my inlaws had not treated me well after my delivery. After my baby I didn't work for 2 years but my inlaws & husband treated me very badly at home and even not providing any pocket money. Then I decided to start working. I joined in some Company and I refused to give my salary to them. Then they had planned to send me out of house. My husband started living in rented house.but I refused to go there. Finally, I had to go to my parents home back. I stayed at my parents home for 1 year. In the meantime he married his sister and even not informed to me. At last, I had came back just for sake of my son life but now am feeling my decision was wrong. He agreed to come back on rented home only with the conditions that I have to spend 50% of the household expenses. Even, today am spending maximum part of the household expenses. For more than one year his relationship are disclosing in front of me & my son. First time my son had seen condomns in his school drawer. My husband is running playway school. Then twice my son had seen condomns in his drawer and so many times with his colleague teacher Indu. Even, one time he got used condomn in his father pocket. Everytime he came to me and told me the situation. First, I tried to clean his mind that there is nothing going on but its just a co-incidence. Something like this. Then I saw some messages in his phone which I feel now he was showing me intentionally to makeup my mind to leave him but I had not done. Then so on things are coming out routinely. Now, I called him during his school time and he just left his phone open and arguing with his girlfriend which at last I got to record and in this recording everything is clear that he is in s*xual relationship with her. Then he called me that I will meet her at Gurudwara he wants to disclose each & everything. I was very upset and finally I met him and recorded all of our conversation where he was blaming me for his extra marital affair. Even he said that God will find out some way but there was only 3 ways whether he should die or I should fight with him & leave or his girlfriend should fight & leave him. He will not leave her like this. He had promised her and he said that am not leaving you also but dont know what to do? He was mixing all the things. Now, I don't know what to do whether to stay with him or leave him as the things are worst day by day. There is nothing left in our relationship but it was very difficult for my son to understand. Even I don't know whether he release my son or not. Please advise. 

 

 



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 20 Replies

Jastej   25 April 2017

I want to punish him for his cheating but he was very master mind. Where our thinking stops his thinking starts. I want to save my son life also. Please tell me how should I proceed.

 


(Guest)
Your thinking is wrong. You can't punish him. At most you can file false cases, but you will have lot of problems too if you do that. So my advise is to just let him go, keep your child and convince him for divorce. Apply for MCD and start fresh chapter in your life. Don't fight with them in any way including legally. If not, after a few years you will find that you just spoiled your own life. Good luck.

Jastej   25 April 2017

Dear Sarma ji,

Right now I am double minded. Sometimes I think that I should punish him and sometimes I think I should leave on God. It is important to give him divorce or I should start leaving separate from him. Even I am tensed about my son that he will leave his father or not or is it correct to stay with him now also after knowing all the facts.


Thanks for your advise.

 

Jastej   25 April 2017

Is it there any law that husband was not be in s*xual relationship with anyother women when he was married and living with his wife.

Jastej   25 April 2017

Sir,

Please let me know the options as I was very upset. It was 15 years of marriage and it is very difficult to take any step at this stage.

 

Jastej   25 April 2017

Thanks for your reply. Am not going to leave my son but it's very difficult for him to leave his father. We are already staying at rented home. So many times, I asked him to take me to his parental home where he was running his school and his parents are staying. Even he has taken so much of money from me. Please advise.

Jastej   25 April 2017

Thanks for your reply. Am not going to leave my son but it's very difficult for him to leave his father. We are already staying at rented home. So many times, I asked him to take me to his parental home where he was running his school and his parents are staying. Even he has taken so much of money from me. Please advise.

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     25 April 2017

Talk to him directly about his misbehaviour.  The offending spouse should stop all contact with the lover. The offending partner must cease all contact with the lover. This is essential to rebuilding trust in the primary relationship. If the offender has dabbled in the workplace, quitting or transferring to another department might be a welcomed sign of marital loyalty, if economically feasible of course.

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     25 April 2017

Talk to him directly and remind him about your promises on God preaches during your marriage

Jastej   25 April 2017

I have already discussed but he was saying that he can't leave her like this. He was saying that he had done commitments which he can't broke. He has s*xual relationship also. Sometimes he says her parents are searching suitable match for her marriage. Sometimes, he was saying that am trying to convince her but that I feel he was manipulating things in front of me because he was not feeling guilty of his relationship.

(Guest)
It is not illegal for a married man to have an affair with an unmarried woman. Sorry.

Jastej   26 April 2017

Thanks for your reply.

I have already tried this but he was not accepting this. He was manipulating things, 

Is it there any way to get hold of his parental home and property for my son?

Jastej   26 April 2017

Dear Sarma ji,

Somebody told me that I can lodge a complaint against my husband and his girlfriend that they are in physical relatioship. Police will arrest both of them. Is it true?

 

Jastej   27 April 2017

Sir,

My husband was manipulating things in so many different manner. I couldn't believe him at this stage. Now, he was asking for a one month time which I feel just to divert my mind because am giving him time for last one year. He told me three four months back that I was trying to control the situation and will tell you and all family members after sorting out all the issues. If you will come in between then situation will be worst. Now, he deliberately hold his call so that I can hear his conversation with his girlfriend which was clearly indicating his s*xual relationship. Then he was saying me that he couldn't leave her. I am committed towards her and I will not back from my words. 

Please tell me the way to sort out the issue and legal proceedings also against him to get something for my son.

 


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