Criminal Trident Pack: IPC, CrPC and IEA by Sr. Adv. G.S Shukla and Adv. Raghav Arora
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Krishnaya vasudevaya (--)     01 March 2015

Forced mcd please advise

I have been forced to sign the MCD petition since my wife threatened me that she will commit suicide but she did not say this herself but her parents and other relatives told this to me while we went for out of court settlement. 

They also did not claim any alimony or sreedhan hence my parents compelled me to divorce her since there is no demand for alimony. Since things are smooth, lets get divorce under MCD. I heard in MCD cases, court gives you 6 months cooling period hence I agreed for MCD. I thought later during the 6 months cooling period, I will try to convince her and also try for counselling. But I had come to know that during the first hearing on 9th April, her lawyer is going to file a application to waive off the cooling period. After hearing this, I had become very sad and depressed. My parents told me to move on and get married again but it's not possible since I still truly love her. I am currently in a do or die situation. Either I get her back or else I will quit my life. 

 

I have been crying for the past 4 months. Due to the social stigma, man cannot cry, I was not able to reciprocate my feelings to anyone. But after hearing this, I cannot control my emotions. Now i am not really sure why my wife is rushing things and wants to get divorce without even waiting for the 6 months cooling period. Did she found any other suitable match? I hope not. If yes, I will not be able to see her in someone else's arms. I am already heartbroken and would not be able to bear this pain. 

 

My lawyer told 6 months cooling period is waived off in rare cases and completely depends of the mood of the judge. I am suspecting, my in laws have completely brainwashed her and convinced her to end this soon before she changes her mind. My told me that I can either say NO during the first hearing or don't attend the hearing itself. I told my lawyer that I will not divorce her on grounds of mutual consent. I will divorce her on ground of non consuming of marriage and cruelty. But my lawyer told, if i want to fight it out, I would have to spend, time and money and it will around 7-8 years to get divorce and during this time, I have to pay her maintenance and she can also claim for permanent alimony. 

 

I am really confused. I have been forced by my family to divorce her since she is not asking for alimony or settlement. Is marriage and relationship only about money? Does nobody care about the relationship? My parents tell me to remove her from my mind and move on but it's not easy but impossible. I am caught in the middle right now and need good and honest guidance. 

To be honest and frank, even though my thread will be viewed by many people, I am saying this in writing that I cannot imagine a life without her. I don't worry about, prestige, society, people, relatives, ego. I want to stay happily with her. I will try every attempt to save this marriage. The reason I will say NO for MCD is that I will at least get a chance to see her during the course of divorce. I can console my mind that still she is not out from my life. 

Please make some honest and genuine suggestion. Put yourself into my shoes and let me know what you will do in my situation. 

 

Hope to see good suggestions from senior members and rest. 

 

Regards

Depressed soul



Learning

 27 Replies

ramamani (practice)     01 March 2015

If Ist motion is already  filed in the court  you can file an application to withdraw your consent. stating your reasons.

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate)     01 March 2015

1. Is it a real story or hypothetical? 

2. Can you compel your wife to stay with you? Did you ask her ?

3. Does she really want this relation to continue or it is your "one sided love for her" ? You have not disclosed in your such a long story, which is not a query. 

4. Mutual consent divorce petition is taken up and decided by the court on the basis of written consent of both the parties, where agreement or non-agreement of parents of the parties have no place or role to play in any petition for grant of decree of divorce on mutual consent.

5. Supreme Court is the only court (in India), which can waive off the cooling period of 6 months. Discuss the matter with the lawyers.

6. Law does not take any action on "emotions" but on the merit of the case and legal preposition.

1 Like

Krishnaya vasudevaya (--)     01 March 2015

Hi Vashista,

 

1. This is a true story sir Every bit of it is directly from my heart. I know this is a not a forum to show the emotions. 

2. I did ask her and she told she don't want to stay with me since there is no mutual understanding between us. I am 100% sure this is a cooked up story. Earlier my in laws told the only problem is that I am diabetic and they told to all my relatives that I did not disclose to them that I was diabetic before marriage. Now this was the case they should have mentioned in the MCD that they want divorce on these grounds. 

3. If i had given 1 chance, just 1 chance, to speak with her. I will try to convince her. I want to sort out all the differences. Till now I was not even allowed to speak to her to sort out all the differences. It clearly shows that she has been brainwashed. If they emotionally blackmail me they must have done the same to her. 

4. I am not asking anything else. If she wants to get separated, I will respect her decision. But I want the answers to all my questions. I want to go for counselling and get help of a mediator where she can speak openly without anyone's pressure. 

 

I AM CONFIDENT THAT IF I WAS GIVEN 1 HOUR TO SPEAK WITH HER. I CAN EASILY SORT OUT ALL THE DIFFERENCES. I AM READY TO CHANGE MY LIFE, CHARACTER, LIFESTYLE ACCORDING TO HER NEEDS AND WISH. GETTING SEPARATED IS NOT A SOLUTION FOR THE PROBLEM. MY SISTER SPOKE TO HER AND SHE HAD A SECOND THOUGHT ON GETTING SEPARATED BUT AGAIN SHE WAS PRESSURISED FOR MCD. 

Even now she loves me but due to the pressure from the family she is not coming out and talking openly. Lot of influence and interference from her parents and relatives. My in-laws are shooting from my wife's shoulder that my wife doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to stay, she will commit suicide. 

N.K.Assumi (Advocate)     01 March 2015

She loves you but can not overcome the pressure from the family side, is a version that is hard to swallow. If she has to toe the line of her family pressure in torturing you, better get a divorce and start a new life. Don't allow your brain to be hijack by your emotion and tackle the problems of life with sensibility.

R.K Nanda (Advocate)     01 March 2015

u can have detailed legal discussion with me by going for click to talk option.

laxmi kant joshi (instructor)     01 March 2015

I suggest you to follow the guidance of your lawyer, he is guiding you perfectly, divorce her after some time everything will be o.k then do remarriage .

Advocate Ravinder (Advocate/Attorney)     01 March 2015

If you are in so much love with her, why did you give her MCD. It is a self goal. It is of no use to repent now. If you had not given MCD she would not get divorce and by the passage of time there would be ample of chances to eradicate differences between you. Try to forget past and look for future.  World is big. Do not train your mind to become clumsy.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     01 March 2015

1.  The court cannot waive off six months cooling period.

2.  If you already filed MCD and first motion has taken place, then move an application withdrawing consent.

3.  If MCD has not filed, then do not go to the court even for first motion.  That solves your problem.

4.  If she does not get MCD, she will file contested divorce and in that mediation happens and there try to resolve all your differences.

(LAST REPLY)

Saurav (Engineer)     01 March 2015

Brother my situation is 100% EXACTLY similar to you.

In my situation, Wife was with me for 2.5 months but then left to her house.

We had differences and arguments but did like each other a LOT.

In my case, my parents are a piece of absolute JUNK. They only care about MONEY , PRESTIGE, EGO, and fake junk.

When we broke off , My parents made NO ATTEMPT to unite us back. For about 4-5 months after the separation my wife and me continued to be in touch. But over the past 2 months we have stopped talking to each other because she told me she wasnt interested anymore and I asked her if she has found someone etc.........She became even more heartbroken that I was suspecting her.

 

Her family also does not want this marriage. And from my side too as I said the situation , My parents are a piece of JUNK.

 

Unfortunately brother, Indian society works that way only. For them marriage is all about like a Business deal. No emotions are involved...........Only thing they care about is money ,prestige, ego etc.

 

My MCD first hearing is on July 1 . I dont know what will happen with me. There is no Family support from both the sides.

 

How COOLY my parents told me 6 months back that FORGET HER ...........We will get you another girl.

 

I felt like SLAPPING my father RIGHT THERE, But as you know IN Indian tradition and culture, Son cannot raise hand on his father.

 

I am also not interested in marrying ANYMORE. I am done with this concept of Marriage itself.......

 

I also thought about suicide many times............Dont take Life brother..........If it becomes really desperate then I advice you to take it........but remember I believe you will be reborn again. So in the end think about what to do with this Life only.

Saurav (Engineer)     01 March 2015

Originally posted by : N.K.Assumi

She loves you but can not overcome the pressure from the family side, is a version that is hard to swallow. If she has to toe the line of her family pressure in torturing you, better get a divorce and start a new life. Don't allow your brain to be hijack by your emotion and tackle the problems of life with sensibility.

Boss it is 200% harder for a girl to overcome family pressure........

 

1. This is INDIA...........and till today Girls are unable to be brave due to obvious reasons. If the girl fights against her OWN parents and goes with the Guy........the Guy already does not have his family support .......she is taking a HUGE RISK..........Cant you see that?

 

A guy can easily rebel against the parents and go and live alone and make a good life........It is not so easy for a girl especially in a junk country like India.

 

My point is that 99% of such cases can be easily solved if the Guys Parents really are interested in saving the marriage but due to EGO they dont do it and CLAIM they love their son.

 

WHAT HYPOCRACY.

Saurav (Engineer)     01 March 2015

Originally posted by : Krishnaya vasudevaya

I have been forced to sign the MCD petition since my wife threatened me that she will commit suicide but she did not say this herself but her parents and other relatives told this to me while we went for out of court settlement. 

They also did not claim any alimony or sreedhan hence my parents compelled me to divorce her since there is no demand for alimony. Since things are smooth, lets get divorce under MCD. I heard in MCD cases, court gives you 6 months cooling period hence I agreed for MCD. I thought later during the 6 months cooling period, I will try to convince her and also try for counselling. But I had come to know that during the first hearing on 9th April, her lawyer is going to file a application to waive off the cooling period. After hearing this, I had become very sad and depressed. My parents told me to move on and get married again but it's not possible since I still truly love her. I am currently in a do or die situation. Either I get her back or else I will quit my life. 

 

I have been crying for the past 4 months. Due to the social stigma, man cannot cry, I was not able to reciprocate my feelings to anyone. But after hearing this, I cannot control my emotions. Now i am not really sure why my wife is rushing things and wants to get divorce without even waiting for the 6 months cooling period. Did she found any other suitable match? I hope not. If yes, I will not be able to see her in someone else's arms. I am already heartbroken and would not be able to bear this pain. 

 

My lawyer told 6 months cooling period is waived off in rare cases and completely depends of the mood of the judge. I am suspecting, my in laws have completely brainwashed her and convinced her to end this soon before she changes her mind. My told me that I can either say NO during the first hearing or don't attend the hearing itself. I told my lawyer that I will not divorce her on grounds of mutual consent. I will divorce her on ground of non consuming of marriage and cruelty. But my lawyer told, if i want to fight it out, I would have to spend, time and money and it will around 7-8 years to get divorce and during this time, I have to pay her maintenance and she can also claim for permanent alimony. 

 

I am really confused. I have been forced by my family to divorce her since she is not asking for alimony or settlement. Is marriage and relationship only about money? Does nobody care about the relationship? My parents tell me to remove her from my mind and move on but it's not easy but impossible. I am caught in the middle right now and need good and honest guidance. 

To be honest and frank, even though my thread will be viewed by many people, I am saying this in writing that I cannot imagine a life without her. I don't worry about, prestige, society, people, relatives, ego. I want to stay happily with her. I will try every attempt to save this marriage. The reason I will say NO for MCD is that I will at least get a chance to see her during the course of divorce. I can console my mind that still she is not out from my life. 

Please make some honest and genuine suggestion. Put yourself into my shoes and let me know what you will do in my situation. 

 

Hope to see good suggestions from senior members and rest. 

 

Regards

Depressed soul

 

Few questions you have not answered:-

 

1. Since first hearing is on April 1, I assume you got married on April 1, 2014. How many months did your wife stay with you ?

 

2. How was the relationship with your Wife during that period she stayed with you?

 

3. Why did she leave you and go seperate?. I mean do you know the EXACT REASON for seperation?.

 

4. This question is not important but could be........Why did she not consumate the marriage with you?.....Did she have a pre-existing Boyfriend/Lover which you were/are not aware of ?.

As someone else said earlier in the forum,.............I Hope this is not ONE SIDED LOVE. If it is ONE SIDED LOVE. Then I advice you to forget her for her sake.

Thats why I asked you again and again for how many months she stayed with you and in order to develop Love this question is very important...........I dont believe in Love at first sight............and the fact that if she did not Consummate the marriage with you makes this question even more important.

 

 

498A_Victim (service)     01 March 2015

Hi Depressed Soul,

Pls clear ur mind over the fact that once a relation is soured up, it will not work again as is should have been.

Coming to the point of divorce on ground of non - consumation of marriage or cruelity, It will take time and finally its Husband who has to shell out large sum of money in the name of "Ailimony" to wife.  

 

If she has not filed 498a etc criminal cases on U, It is advised to get MCD and be happy.

 

Call 08882-498-498 for any further clarification.

Born Fighter (xxx)     01 March 2015

Bro, pls do not disclose your personal information on this forum. It might go against you if matter turns contested....You seem to be in deep pain and want to have a solution that would please you only. What if you and your wife were not destined to be together ? No matter whatever efforts you take things may not work out...

Based on my personal opinion...Please ...you need emotional comfort and counselling more than legal advice (which many learned panel members have already shared. ). what may sound a silly issue might be a great concern for your wife and her family. Since she is not asking for money/ alimony i feel your wife is looking at a decent exit without further hurting you (atleast financially and trust you many men in this forum are suffering at the hands of women who have filed false cases and demanding legal extortion). 

Please work out a strategy for a dignified exit than cursing yourself or your parents. You are confused today but things will look better with time. You seem to be overly emotional , dont blame yourself for whatever that has happened. Let her Go peacefully n let her live her life. 

Your efforts for reconciliation in whichever way you are attempting may work only if your wife agrees for a dialogue, dont pressurize her for a reunion, speak to her and ask her for a last meeting and see whats on her mind and be prepared to accept she will not come back

Goodluckk

Saurav (Engineer)     01 March 2015

Originally posted by : Born Fighter

Bro, pls do not disclose your personal information on this forum. It might go against you if matter turns contested....You seem to be in deep pain and want to have a solution that would please you only. What if you and your wife were not destined to be together ? No matter whatever efforts you take things may not work out...

Based on my personal opinion...Please ...you need emotional comfort and counselling more than legal advice (which many learned panel members have already shared. ). what may sound a silly issue might be a great concern for your wife and her family. Since she is not asking for money/ alimony i feel your wife is looking at a decent exit without further hurting you (atleast financially and trust you many men in this forum are suffering at the hands of women who have filed false cases and demanding legal extortion). 

Please work out a strategy for a dignified exit than cursing yourself or your parents. You are confused today but things will look better with time. You seem to be overly emotional , dont blame yourself for whatever that has happened. Let her Go peacefully n let her live her life. 

Your efforts for reconciliation in whichever way you are attempting may work only if your wife agrees for a dialogue, dont pressurize her for a reunion, speak to her and ask her for a last meeting and see whats on her mind and be prepared to accept she will not come back

Goodluckk

 

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS !.

 

Also it is very strange that your sister is speaking on your behalf.

 

What message is it sending to your wife?.........are you a coward?.

 

SPEAK TO HER like a man and show your FEELINGS TO HER. And be ready to accept whatever she says.

 

But do speak to her once.


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