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Sonal (Owner)     22 June 2012

Emancipation from parents!! help!!

Hi i'm a 28 year old female my family, including my parents and siblings have been torturing me mentally for last 11 months, they hit me, mentally torture me and they do not let me out of the house, i'm a qualified professional, they do not let me work as well.They just want me to marry which i'm not ready for right now.

Can i file a case against them?

Also can i walk out of my house will i get protection from law under the given circumstances??



Learning

 29 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     22 June 2012

You can get a protection order if you file a petition under the domestic violence act.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 June 2012

@ Author


1.
You are in major age and have become an adult person to take your own decisions in life.


2. No, taxpayers money cannot be spent on giving protection to you for persuing your carreer in family related matters if you say you are professionaly qualified then you can very well persue your carrers of choice over marriage.


3. You may take help of a friend and live at a Nari Niketan / Single Women's Hostels / Shelter Homes away from your family and follow your career dreams if that is what brings happiness into you but then tomorrow donot blame your family at turnign to age 40 that they didnot helped you to get married off and always torrtured you !.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 June 2012

Oh common Archana DV Act is not like Maggie tomato soup for all woman’s married - unmarried / minor – majors, living with or without natal families.


Marrying off daughter of 28 years is a violence of parents or relative kya tomorrow same daughter will turn back at 40 years when one parent will not be there to get married and then helplessness of other parent will again result in Advocates like you saying use DV Act.


This is how some advocates misuse Acts / Codes on taxpayers money. 

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     22 June 2012

Mr Tajobsindia, read the post of the author PROPERLY.......

Originally posted by :Sonal

"
 my family, including my parents and siblings have been torturing me mentally for last 11 months, they hit me, mentally torture me and they do not let me out of the house, i'm a qualified professional, they do not let me work as well.They just want me to marry which i'm not ready for right now.
 
 

 Is hitting a grown up girl and torturing her mentally not an act of domestic violence? If a person like you feels it is ok then, then that is our own thinking and should not be forced upon others. Is it right to marry off a girl forcebly against her wishes, if she is not mentally prepared for marriage? Will that girl behave properly with her husband and in-laws?

As far as the question of tax payers money is concerned, then I do not know what is your imagination about protection order and how  tax payer's money is wasted ...!!

1 Like

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     22 June 2012

Originally posted by :Tajobsindia
"
Advocates like you saying use DV Act.


This is how some advocates misuse Acts / Codes on taxpayers money. 
"

I do not think I have ever adviced any women in this forum to use dv act without any reason or told anyone to misuse the law for harrassing someone.  I have always tried to be balanced in my approach. If you feel so plz point out so that i wud also know. 

1 Like

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     22 June 2012

And you know tajobsindia, instead of going under any section of IPC such as s.323, 504 etc in the fit of rage and frustration and make wild allegations against own ppl and get the relations soured forever, it is better to go u/dv if SITUATION DEMANDS, bcoz many times due to good and responsible councelling during such proceedings such matters do get resolved amicably.

MRRpersonality (Knows very little about Indian laws)     22 June 2012

Yes Ld Adv Archana is right in her advise, if the said claim of the girl is correct.  I request Sonal to do some soul searching, be honest and decide for herself if she was really subjected to domestic violence.  If with all the integrity, sonal considers that it's an act of domestic violence, she should go ahead and approach for protection orders.

 

 

4. The Bill, inter alia, seeks to provide for the following:-

 

(i) It covers those women who are or have been in a relationship with the abuser where both parties have lived together in a shared household and are related by consanguinity, marriage or through a relationship in the nature of marriage or adoption. In addition, relationships with family members living together as a joint family are also included. Even those women who are sisters, widows, mothers, single women, or living with the abuser are entitled to legal protection under the proposed legislation. However, whereas the Bill enables the wife or the female living in a relationship in the nature of marriage to file a complaint under the proposed enactment against any relative of the husband or the male partner, it does not enable any female relative of the husband or the male partner to file a complaint against the wife or the female partner.

 

(ii) It defines the expression "domestic violence" to include actual abuse or threat or abuse that is physical, s*xual, verbal, emotional or economic. Harassment by way of unlawful dowry demands to the woman or her relatives would also be covered under this definition.

 

(iii) It provides for the rights of women to secure housing. It also provides for the right of a woman to reside in her matrimonial home or shared household, whether or not she has any title or rights in such home or household. This right is secured by a residence order, which is passed by the Magistrate.

 

(iv) It empowers the Magistrate to pass protection orders in favour of the aggrieved person to prevent the respondent from aiding or committing an act of domestic violence or any other specified act, entering a workplace or any other place frequented by the aggrieved person, attempting to communicate with her, isolating any assets used by both the parties and causing violence to the aggrieved person, her relatives or others who provide her assistance from the domestic violence.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 June 2012

@ Archana


I am not a Judge to judge what all your forum postings are all about and yes you are knowledgeable is one thing I appreciate.


Tell this lady now:


1. From where she is going to find an advocate and why not you shall tell is also a question to you?
2. Who will foot the advocates fees when this lady is not having a job and perperators will not give her legal fees support then will you foot the bill or would propose taxpayers to foot it and has anything like that till last 6 years happened that State Gov. foot the bill of DV Victims?
3. How fast (actual time wise without knowing from which Court she files) she can get "really" the protection Orders agains ther own parents and relatives and by that time who is her protector living in same house going to be. Understand reality of victims not sway with one Act for all purposes / usage symptoms?
4. How she can live under protection order 24x7 in same House among perperators of 28 years?
5. In a protection order are you aware no Police (female in this case) will stay with this lady 24x7 to check if Orders are being followed and no further DV happens? Also tell what is the provision in cas eof violation and how affective and long drawn second brush with Court this lady will face continously just bze some adv. advises a quick remedy under DV Act?
6. Is not a 28 years old gender capable to leave house and stay in a Shelter Home and persue her career?
7. Does after filing DV will you as advocate guarantee any % of harmony revival for this lady after perperators are parens / siblings / relatives whose usage she may have before her end of life some day?
8. Will she do the Job or do cooking / laundry / upkeep her room after PO under DV?  
9. A unique first trial court Order courtsey you can be created for that matter under guise of DV Act but one side you yourself tell queriests in various posts on miantaining harmony of family and even if 'gospel truth' of a queriest is taken prime facie will harmony ever return and then with more age catchign up with this lady who will really be there for her in life?


Our woman needs protection which I agree but I will never agree to put same woman in maze of advocates / courts / police / society in guise of some Law is there ji laga dete hai tere maa / baap pe akal thikaney aa jayegi unki. I also know about S. 323 / S. 504 probably equally like you but intentionally I didnot see fit to put a 28 years old woman into Court thus I advised her to take help of friends or someone whom she trusts and leave home and make her life with peace of mind. This is not her age to see Courts when she feels happiness in making a career out of professional education she has got. What soicety you will talk for a single 28 years ld to face now ! Her previous society was itself alleged to be bad as per her. Who knows with independent career and power of money of her own she will do better independently in life from age 28 years on ! Give her that freedom to self proove why put her into court and Courts is what I felt bad and nothing personal to your advise.  I mean what you will get proving her mom and day as perperator at 30 years when she manages some P/O? Will her life take a new twist for better holding Protection order in one hand and another hand will still remain empty (dependne ton someone as precious career of aproductive youth as time is lost in some court cases curtsey an advocates advise to file DV).


An minor child if undergoing DV at home and / or a dependent child after divorce without job and studying can get maint. and in case of females child marriage expenses also can be got from father and or divorced father as the case may be but even if alleged beating and alleged violence taking place for a child (she is still child to perperators is what I mean here) of 28 years age can't she leave home and do her own things which pleases her and does it still comes under parents responsibities to say OK do job and we will wait till outrdeath for your marriage which is actually our responsibility as per Law? What stops her to stay in same home under shelter of DV Act PO and yet boldly face same perperators day-in/day-out?. You are putting victim / perperator in same cage by advising her file DV is what made me comment the way it is already inked above?????


Visualise larger picture for a 28 years major woman of the land and guess which would be a better option for her to choose - leaving home and making her own destiny in company of known friends independently and or continue fighting day-in/day-out Protection order(s) violations and all these ground reality matters and answer yourself not to me why I said what I have to say to my ld. brothers / sisters here.

 

@ MRPersonality

I have much discussed here in previous posts the making of DV Act since 2002 till 2006 and all its Sections as well as complete Rules of present days DV Act and showing me now 'definition" with a tag line "I know very little about Indian Laws" makes me laugh either to read any of your posting or what to say to you now.

Hence peace to you and I didnot mind showing the definition at all.
 

MRRpersonality (Knows very little about Indian laws)     23 June 2012

Tajobsindia:  First let's agree to disagree with grace!   It is for the querying to decide her course of action, and if domestic violence has indeed happened it is for her to take necessary steps based on her options in front of her.

 

The law (in spite of it's all loop holes or biases) is not just for the protection of the individual,  but is also meant to act as a deterrent for the other such perpetrators.   A child grows up in the family watching his sister being beaten up every day, will grow up with the psychology that he can beat up his wife or any woman he comes across.   A neighbor watching the scene in her home, would get instigated to beat up his wife thinking that - atmost she would walk out of the house to find a "Shelter Home" herself and live herself with the help of her friends.  The idea of the act is to create a civilian society, not to encourage such perpetrators or not to create a feeling or sense of security among the perpetrators.

 

Your inspirational speech is well appreciated.  However, how practical is it for her to find a "Shelter Home" or single women hostel and live on her own - all of a sudden in this country ?    How much do you understand single women problems ?   Why do you think she has not talked to her friends and weighed in other such options, before deciding to go against her own parents or relatives ?   Do you understand and feel the agony of this young woman ?  

 

Your thinking that counselling does not work, is not always correct.  It works, and have some faith in the system. It's not totally broken.

 

Misuse of the act should be discouraged.  But discouraging a person who was genuinely subjected to violence is not the right thing in my opinion.

 

Tajobsindia:  you hurt others and hurt yourself so easily ;)  The definiton of Domestic Violence was meant to be shown to you, it was meant for the queryist.   I did not address the "post" to you.  Did I ?   "I know very little about India laws",  because I ended up living in 4 different more civilized countries in my life, where people and advocates respect the law, human and individual rights.  Agree a law could be lacking or biased.  The positive step should be to fix the act or the law rather than rejecting it outright.    Yes, men are suffering because of this act - but where were the men when women were subjected to heinous crimes ?   You would say it is not the same men.   But do you think, a male 28 year old would get beaten up like this by his parents ?   

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     23 June 2012

I fully agree with you MMRpersonality, let us agree to disagree with grace....... 

We have very little knowlege on this forum as to how much the querist have tried out on her own by means of friends and relatives to resove the situation and if she as a last resort is seeking legal help to file case against her family for her protection.  The family who are not letting her go out of the house, will they allow her live independently and even if the querist walk out of house and reside independently it is no guarantee that the family members will not harrass her and they may even come there and beat her or torcher her. When the elders have adopted a particular course of action the other elder relatives may also be reluctant to interfere or may be of the same thinking.   Nobody would like to suggest to bring the court between parents and child,. but when there is no understanding left between them then let a third party which is neutral act as a mediator between them.  When dialouges have failed and there is no body to bring about communication and bridge the gap between the parties, there is no harm to approach the court machienary and which is neutral and in SUCH CASES BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILD will try to act as a mediatior and give understanding to both parties...  counselling does work in many cases . The system is not all bad and that everywhere you will find ji laga dete hai tere maa / baap pe akal thikaney aa jayegi unki type ppl is also not true and is too pessimistic view.

Yes, protection order does not guarantee that 24 X 7 the victim would be safe but it does act as a deterrant to the persons who has committed the act of violence so as not to repeat the same and the knowledge that its breach is an offence punishable.  

Sonal (Owner)     23 June 2012

Further more my parents have taken all my id cards marksheets etc and have kept it under their custody even if i choose to leave home i do not have anything to prove that i'm educated. also they want the money spent on my education back, only then they will give back my marksheets and certificates, i've gone through immense trauma already, i just want to live my life as per my wishes not dance to their tunes because i have no money or cause i have to. I just want to walk out of here and find a decent job for myself. They have not only physically abused me, tied me up, they beat me so much once that i could not speak for 3 days, also the mental trauma is immense.Please advise how to get out of this rut. i do not want to waste any more time here.

Sonal (Owner)     23 June 2012

They have taken my all id proofs my markshhets, only when i can repay back the amount spent on education will they give my marksheets back.

They have tied me up, beaten me so much that i could not speak for 3 days my entire face was swollen.

Please advice how to get my documents back and how to get out of here, so that they cannot cause any further harm to me.

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     23 June 2012

They cannot claim the amount spend on your education. Contact a local lawyer immediately, or if you can contact the Protection Officer of your area it will also be ok. If you cannot go out personally there, you can ask someone to contact him on your behalf and give the information of domestic violence thus committed. He will do the needful. 

1 Like

Ranee....... (NA)     23 June 2012

Thanks Archanaji for being here for the lady.Thankyou so much!

1 Like

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