@ 498a wedding gift: I agree with sudheer sir and ashok ji their versions will also help you. Coming to your question that your wife filed 498a and you do not have a button of her clothes also with you. Can you please evaluate your situation if i ask you the following questions:
1. Is it a love marriage?
>> No arranged one
2. What was your equation with her from day one you met her?
>> Equation was fine bfore marriage....she keeps on saying before mrg, i will do this and that for u after mrg. But after marriage, when we shifted to new place where i was working, on that very 1st day she created scene in a mall
and threatened me of calling 100 no and implicating me in false case.
3. Does she has any affairs?
>> No idea on this, i am not sure actually.
Or is she the apple of her parents eye?
>> Yes, ankhon ka taraa........her mother keeps on poking her nose every time and then.
4. Have you examined her intention? Does she want only money from you...so that she can secure her future? Or is she willing to join you?
>> Yes definitely she is after money, she made some property documents to get them signed from my father which my father said in due course of time she will be a part of property as legal heir, but she was so
entusiastic to include herself in property that my father was not able to cope up her behaviour and evetually died after her constant tantrums in front of our neighbors, in her school, in her neighborhood......damn everywhere
5. Is she in two minds as in unable to deciede what is good and bad for her? Evaluate her personality first as a person how independent she is ..in terms of taking decisions? You can consider whatever ashok ji has said..legally you can make yourself secure that way. And in your case kindly let me know who has blown the legal horn?
>> I think she needs property and money......from the very 1st day, she started keeping pressure to include her as legal heir and i yes she is an independent person, working and her father expired 20 yrs back, so she has never
adjusted with any male person in her family. GIRL has blown the legal horn and not me.
And dude i am telling you one thing ...which you may not like, but please always in a relationship especially husband and wife, please take out your family and her family from the equation. What she says about your parents or siblings and what they say...shud not effect your relationship with her. Every family finds it difficult to adjust with a new member in the family. Are you able to balance your family and wife emotionally??
>> Charu, i understand ur point here but do u think is that possible if one sides parents never visit and never calls and girls side mother constantly visits, threats me, pokes her nose always and wants me to behave like their
slave and whatever they says i have to do. And on the other my parents never visited me where i was working........I took out my family from this relation, but she never did that........Its effects ur relation when Mother in law comes
and behave with u like u r a slave to her and ur wife keeps mum and is still seeing and in fact accompanying her in all her deeds. WHAT U SAY, my stand shud be in this situation ?
ask this question to yourself. Many times i have seen that parents from both the sides try to pamper the egos of their kids and that spoils the relationship. Ok..finally to conclude. Take a decision keeping the below said things in mind. 1. Life is uncertain. Who knows you will leave her and get married to some other girl and she also files 498a....fairly possible.
>>> Not at all, i am not going to marry again for sure........NEVER EVER.......
2. Your new lady may try to take advantage of your situation also.
>>> New lady will never come in picture now
3. If legally you can secure yourself and forgive her....pls... note i am saying LEGALLY SECURE YOURSELF. then its better to forget the past and start your life a fresh with your wife.
>>> Never this cannot happen at all, not even her single rupee with me stil she thinks filing 498a/406 on me will bring me back to her then she is wrong here.......If she wanted to settle her life, then she shud have discussed with me and not with her lawyer........After climbing the stairs of a Police station, for me its a point of NO Return for her and i cannot forgive her for this deed.
4. Every person has inherent weaknesses and short comings. All ladys come with their own qualities and tantrums....no one is sati savitri or parvati...ganaga..jamuna ...saraswati.
>>> This she shud commit . But in court she keeps on saying, i am a abla naari......main inki sewa karna chahti hun and the next moment she and her mother abuses me and my mom. NOT at all acceptable.
5. Forgiving your wife will never make you small infront of the society or court of law. I will personally appreciate this quality. BUT again your security is equally important, i dont deny this fact. all the best, Any help needed...feel free to contact.
>>> How many times do u think i should forgive her. This had already happened 6-7 times and meanwhile, i lost my father because of all these tanrums and she still feels she is always right. Then let her be right and i dont consider now to give her undue advantage of being my wife , as i was earlier doing.