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Bhavesh   22 September 2015

Divorce without mutual constest

I got married on Nov 2014. It was truly arranged marriage. I\'m a software Engineer. I was working in Bangalore. My husband was working in Chennai. Two months i was in Bangalore since my transfer got delayed. Every weekend i used to come to chennai. My husband used to go to office on Saturdays so i used to spend my time with my in-laws and Sunday with all family members we used to go out. It continued. Even for January first we all together went for outing(younger sisters decision). I told him even for honeymoon we went with friends all weekends we spend with family i feel we need some private time. He refused and said its joint family more over he is attached to his sisters and parents so should go with them.In January end we went for his cousin marriage there he entered the room while his younger sister(she is married and has a kid) was draping the saree. I was shocked but i didn\'t tell anything since my mother-in-law went and called him to search something from our bag. Then while going his sister asked him to help her in pinging the saree. I couldn\'t tolerate this. I told him to go out since she is changing the dress. He didn\'t listen. Everyone started convincing me. Still i couldn\'t digest that.. I fought with him for five days..cried,argued told him that my heart broke that second.Then slowly i tried to convince.Feb11th noon he called me and said his sisters called him to take her kid to hospital for vaccination. I said ok.. Then same day she called him at 11:30 pm(just like that).He didn\'t pick the call since it was in silent mode, next day when i saw her call again we fought he dropped me in the office and didn\'t speak to me. Later i texted him whether he is going to come and pick me up or should i go by cab. He said he will come at 7 pm. But it was 7:45 pm he didn\'t come. I called to his number he picked and said he is in meeting. I was totally frustrated each time i beg him to spend time but he is least bothered that too that day was our third month anniversary. So i texted him harsly saying you are womanizer. I suspect you and your sister relationship you always give importance to her.I will start to my hometown.. Better stay with her blah..blah..(in anger but not intentional). and till 10:30 pm i didnt pick his call. Later i got scared and told him that i\'m waiting in one bus stand almost 10 kms from my office. He came and we both went home. There parents ,sisters, Brother-in-laws other relatives everyone came home next day called my sister and brother-n-law(since my mom is too old and my father passed away when i was 10 years old) and told to take me with them for a week or so since they were hurt by my behavior and messages. After 10 days when we called they said due to some astrology reasons we should live seperatly for three months so i stayed in hostel nearby.After 3 monhts when we went they said after AAdi month they will see seperate home and keep us away since there sisters will not be comfortable when i\'m in their house.Finally now they sent me divorce notice saying i\'m suspecting his character linking his sister when he was helping in his sisters kids treatment.I\'m mentally disordered.Elders supressed this and got us married.Under this ground this is nullity few more baseless allegations like i compare him with my colleagues,not allowing him to live independently as his wish..I replied back dening there allegations and said due to possessivenss i texted harsh i want to live with him. Two days back i went to there house alone at night they didnt allow me called patrol police and sent me out. Is this valid for divorce?I leaved with him for just 25days.Can they send notice before one year? I sent them back the reply notice stating that i want to live with him in anger and frustration is ent few texts since i couldn't bear his ignorance...Also after receving the notice i went to his office. He shouted out harshly and said he cant live with me anymore..I went to there house at 9:30 pm his parents didnt allow me called patrol police threatned me sent me at 11:30pm.. Can i file domestic violence case against them and cheating cases since they said cock and bull stories when my sis and brother in law went.. I lived with him for just 25 days.(Jan19 to Feb 12th). I have mail proofs regarding transfer date and hostel bill from the day i joined. Also how can they say in their notice that i'm mentally disordered my parents supressed this and got me married hence this will be nullity in this ground?



Learning

 11 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     22 September 2015

their so called claims to nullify the marriage wont stand valid.every claim needs to be supported through proofs.so dont worry about it.

you are free to file a dv case and ask for right for residence in the matrimonial home, protection order against your inlaws and other related orders.

 

Bhavesh   22 September 2015

Hi Saravanan,

 

Thanks for the reply. Can they show those sms that i sent suspecting his relation with his sister as a basis for divorce. I dont have any proof for showing he entered the room when his sister was changing the dress and helped her in pinning the saree

saravanan s (legal advisor)     22 September 2015

divorce wont be granted on the basis of a single sms like you mentioned .all that would be considered as normal wear and tear in a family life

Bhavesh   22 September 2015

Sorry sir it wasn't a single sms..there are series of 10 to 15 messages but later from next day i sent him around 100 messages saying sorry..tried to call him n times, went to their house,his office,...


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Bhavesh


Thanks for the reply. Can they show those sms that i sent suspecting his relation with his sister as a basis for divorce. I dont have any proof for showing he entered the room when his sister was changing the dress and helped her in pinning the saree

Above all there is conscience:

Sacchi mein tumko koi kaam dhanda nahi he.  You dont seem to be employed and appear to have lots of free time to do all this drama. 

Marriage is all about patience, that you dont have, I do understand your draping saree issue, but that wont help you, and your husband needs to understand your point of view and and not me. 

 

Instead of spending time over here, why dont you appraoch husband and talk to him one on one?  That will solve a lot of issues.

 

And you have plans to file DV case, do that and even God cant save your marriage, like this you will surely end up getting divorced and sooner or later you will go mad with the divorcee tag and find yourself in a online divorcee matrimonial site.

 

Instead of sending other people for talks, go talk to your husband and reconcile with him.  It is really tough to find good match once you are divorced.  This is the time to patch up and not to think about stupid false cases which will only boomerang in the future.  All th best.

KS Johal   22 September 2015

Gyan have given good advice. I fully support what he has said. what you need to do is to reconcile and to find a way where both of you have a common ground or common thought. Only then both of your ideas will come together. There are many things that we do not like in life, sometimes we have to ignore these and move on in life. What I suggest is that try to ask him to go for a cup of coffee. Try to spend only about 1 hour. try to meeting more often spending only 1 hour. Try to make your talk productive and try to find a commonality. Agree to any mistakes that you have made and then I am sure he will also agree to his own mistakes. This way you will be moving into his mind and 1 day or perhaps within a week or month you will get together and avoid the divorce. Good luck.
1 Like

(Guest)

Remember, it is your own life and it is in your own hands and this issue is about your OWN HUSBAND, not somebody else's.

Bhavesh   22 September 2015

Originally posted by : Gyan Prakash
Remember, it is your own life and it is in your own hands and this issue is about your OWN HUSBAND, not somebody else's.

Hi Gyan,

Thanks for the advice. I tried reaching him, went to his office, house but no use. I texted him back N times saying sorry. It was in possessiveness i behaved this way. Will never repeat it again. Still he is stubborn in getting divorce. For him me suspecting with this sister is difficult to digest. At that stage seeing him close to his sister was difficult for me to digest.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Bhavesh



Originally posted by : Gyan Prakash



Remember, it is your own life and it is in your own hands and this issue is about your OWN HUSBAND, not somebody else's.





Hi Gyan,

Thanks for the advice. I tried reaching him, went to his office, house but no use. I texted him back N times saying sorry. It was in possessiveness i behaved this way. Will never repeat it again. Still he is stubborn in getting divorce. For him me suspecting with this sister is difficult to digest. At that stage seeing him close to his sister was difficult for me to digest.

You started it, he is ending it.

According to me, one meeting is enough to do the trick of joining back, fall to his feet, all will be fine.

Your accusation is a slap on siblings who are brothers and sisters.  If you did not have brother, then your parents are at fault, nobody else.  But you are educated enough and you still call it possesiveness and difficult to digest? 

feel sorry for you.

Siblings are like that, they are born and brought up together, the relationship of brother and sister is very sacred. Brother would have given bath to sister when they were kids, you termed it as relationship?  That is wrong, give it some time.  Keep trying to get back to husband, until he says ok, its fine, come back.  

If he is very stubborn inspite of u trying to pacify, then nothing much can be done, go for MCD and be free in 6 months, no point in wasting time in court halls, if you contest divorce, it get over in 15 years, and you become buddhi by that time, and no one will marry you, and you end up being alone, go for MCD dont drag issues, time and tide wait for none.

SuperHero (Manager)     23 September 2015

Originally posted by : Bhavesh
I got married on Nov 2014. It was truly arranged marriage. I\'m a software Engineer. I was working in Bangalore. My husband was working in Chennai. Two months i was in Bangalore since my transfer got delayed. Every weekend i used to come to chennai. My husband used to go to office on Saturdays so i used to spend my time with my in-laws and Sunday with all family members we used to go out. It continued. Even for January first we all together went for outing(younger sisters decision). I told him even for honeymoon we went with friends all weekends we spend with family i feel we need some private time. He refused and said its joint family more over he is attached to his sisters and parents so should go with them.In January end we went for his cousin marriage there he entered the room while his younger sister(she is married and has a kid) was draping the saree. I was shocked but i didn\'t tell anything since my mother-in-law went and called him to search something from our bag. Then while going his sister asked him to help her in pinging the saree. I couldn\'t tolerate this. I told him to go out since she is changing the dress. He didn\'t listen. Everyone started convincing me. Still i couldn\'t digest that.. I fought with him for five days..cried,argued told him that my heart broke that second.Then slowly i tried to convince.Feb11th noon he called me and said his sisters called him to take her kid to hospital for vaccination. I said ok.. Then same day she called him at 11:30 pm(just like that).He didn\'t pick the call since it was in silent mode, next day when i saw her call again we fought he dropped me in the office and didn\'t speak to me. Later i texted him whether he is going to come and pick me up or should i go by cab. He said he will come at 7 pm. But it was 7:45 pm he didn\'t come. I called to his number he picked and said he is in meeting. I was totally frustrated each time i beg him to spend time but he is least bothered that too that day was our third month anniversary. So i texted him harsly saying you are womanizer. I suspect you and your sister relationship you always give importance to her.I will start to my hometown.. Better stay with her blah..blah..(in anger but not intentional). and till 10:30 pm i didnt pick his call. Later i got scared and told him that i\'m waiting in one bus stand almost 10 kms from my office. He came and we both went home. There parents ,sisters, Brother-in-laws other relatives everyone came home next day called my sister and brother-n-law(since my mom is too old and my father passed away when i was 10 years old) and told to take me with them for a week or so since they were hurt by my behavior and messages. After 10 days when we called they said due to some astrology reasons we should live seperatly for three months so i stayed in hostel nearby.After 3 monhts when we went they said after AAdi month they will see seperate home and keep us away since there sisters will not be comfortable when i\'m in their house.Finally now they sent me divorce notice saying i\'m suspecting his character linking his sister when he was helping in his sisters kids treatment.I\'m mentally disordered.Elders supressed this and got us married.Under this ground this is nullity few more baseless allegations like i compare him with my colleagues,not allowing him to live independently as his wish..I replied back dening there allegations and said due to possessivenss i texted harsh i want to live with him. Two days back i went to there house alone at night they didnt allow me called patrol police and sent me out. Is this valid for divorce?I leaved with him for just 25days.Can they send notice before one year? I sent them back the reply notice stating that i want to live with him in anger and frustration is ent few texts since i couldn't bear his ignorance...Also after receving the notice i went to his office. He shouted out harshly and said he cant live with me anymore..I went to there house at 9:30 pm his parents didnt allow me called patrol police threatned me sent me at 11:30pm.. Can i file domestic violence case against them and cheating cases since they said cock and bull stories when my sis and brother in law went.. I lived with him for just 25 days.(Jan19 to Feb 12th). I have mail proofs regarding transfer date and hostel bill from the day i joined. Also how can they say in their notice that i'm mentally disordered my parents supressed this and got me married hence this will be nullity in this ground?

The OP is very very immature. All advices are well given here and in other places. 

I agree with you - Your Husband should have spent some time and should have been given due importance. 

But the guy and his family filed a case of Nullity of marriage. Not Divorce because the marriage hasn't croseed 1 year.

It takes 2 hands to clap. If your husband doesn't need this marriage. What can you do? 

He is fed up and then you are asking a question to file DV on the family.

Courts can order for right for residence. But in relationships Court can't do much. They can order. Can they create Love and Affection between Husband and wife??

Even if he forgives you. You or Your Sister in law, your in laws can't see face to face when ever you meet. There will always be some taunting on you or even if they talk then you might think they are talking about you.

By this time all your near and dear ones knows about your marriage. 

Try to reconcile, to my understanding things went beyond repair.

if not better get nullity of marriage ASAP and look for some one else.

If not Happy Roaming Courts. Wish You Good Luck.

NATARAJAN IYER (Proprietor)     23 September 2015

@ Members

 

I think we really need to filter out such posts.

 

Too deep an aspect, such as interpretation of a brother-sister incident.

 

Was it indeed a casual incident that one should not read too much into

 

Or

 

Was it indeed a brother-sister incest relationship ( known to occur across the world, in horrible families )

 

We, the members and contributors cannot arrive at a conclusion, since the darkness is severe and it becomes a tough task, bordering on high risk, to even suggest a solution.

 

Here is this same person who has sent this post as a PM to me and I had my suspicions and replied to the person ( not sure if it is a he/ she - genuine or fake )

 

Here is my response.

 

Your case is very complicated on moral grounds than on legal grounds. I suggest you take a print-out of this message you sent me and plainly hand it over to an advocate, and remain silent and wait for the reaction of the advocate. It is very important to remain silent when the advocate is reading your message. The Advocate will guide you appropriately.


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