Wife left 4 yrs back - came back for 3 months - left again

Tried to explain the reality to her.  But adamantly stuck with her decision.  Her actions made me come to this conclusion.  It's been more than 1 year again and there is no response or decision.  

Your wife remotely too need not be attached to your mother. Your mother is your mother, not her mother. Your wife does not hold any responsiblity to your mother at all. Expecting such a thing from your wife is not only foolish, but also stupid. She will keep doing this nautanki every now and then till the day you both are together. You should thank your wife that she has not filed any false cases against you. But these signs are not good signs to lead happy marital life. Accusing constantly about what you are not and what has not been actually done to her will only break trust little by little.  I assume there is no trust left in you for her.

Better convince her for MCD and part ways amicably or else ghoda hain maidaan hain.

Thank you for your views 'Helping Hand'.  I won't mind or scared if she files a false case as well.  At least there would be some kind of progress or conclusion in some direction.  I have no qualms that she left.  But neither she accepts MCD nor files a false or DV case or dowry case..nothing.     Unfortunately, because of this 'Nuclear family mindset and thinking - "you, me and our kids, no one else", combined families are long gone and old age homes are being filled with mothers and fathers.  What a pity !  I never expected wonders from my wife towards my mother.  But considering my mother's health, at least under moral obligation, she is supposed to be on my side for the sake of moral strength.  She is gone and literally waiting for my mother to die and then, she would come back into my life again. This is sickening mindset.  Would anybody accept such kind of person into their life ?  Yes, I have no respect and trust for her and don't have any intention to take her back into my life.  I have tried to convince her for MCD, but she is not willing.  I don't know for what reason.  Kindly suggest how I should proceed with my legal options.  

Your last statement is clearly a bouncer to me.  What does that mean exactly ? - ghoda hain maidaan hain. 

Originally posted by : XYZ
	Thank you for your views 'Helping Hand'.  I won't mind or scared if she files a false case as well.  At least there would be some kind of progress or conclusion in some direction.  I have no qualms that she left.  But neither she accepts MCD nor files a false or DV case or dowry case..nothing.     Unfortunately, because of this 'Nuclear family mindset and thinking - "you, me and our kids, no one else", combined families are long gone and old age homes are being filled with mothers and fathers.  What a pity !  I never expected wonders from my wife towards my mother.  But considering my mother's health, at least under moral obligation, she is supposed to be on my side for the sake of moral strength.  She is gone and literally waiting for my mother to die and then, she would come back into my life again. This is sickening mindset.     She wants the product but not the factory.  She wants to enjoy the product and not maintain the factory which produced the product. Call it fate or anything, this woman wont change. If she were have to change, she would have changed.  If you were a taskmaster you would have trained her to respect your mom till the day she was alive, real or fake, but you could have trained your wife to respect you and your mom. She has done all the circus, made life look very funny for people who are watching you from outside. Would anybody accept such kind of person into their life ?  Yes, I have no respect and trust for her and don't have any intention to take her back into my life.  I have tried to convince her for MCD, but she is not willing.  I don't know for what reason.  Kindly suggest how I should proceed with my legal options.   Your last statement is clearly a bouncer to me.  What does that mean exactly ? -   I have tried to convince her for MCD, but she is not willing.     I don't know for what reason.   The reason behind this might be greed for money.  She wants your money but not your baggage, ie your mom ie taking care of your mom.  She wants to return once your mom passes away, totally indicates that she is just behind the money.  Lure her with money to agree for MCD.  You have already seen this circus for many years and you have wasted lot of time, which wont come back.  So without wasting some more years, pay her cash and get rid of the headache.   start afresh.

ghoda hain maidaan hain. = If she wont agree for MCD, then you have to file for divorce which she will contest and contested divorce takes lot of time to get over.  say 6-7 years along with you paying alimony to her.  She might file false cases of 498a, DV etc which to get over [guilty or not] will take 5-6 years.  So you are doomed for the next 10-12 years like this..  So till the cases get over, you keep roaming to court halls till no end.  One fine day the horse will get tired of running till that day GHODA HAI MAIDAAN he !.

Hi,

This is how things laid out for today.  In this month, my lawyer (on my behalf) sent her notices to come back in 10 days or face Divorce case.  For that, through her lawyer she sent reply with wild and unbelievable allegations and she says that she has every right to file dowry case and DV case all sort things.  And finally she says that she would be ready and willing to come, if I don't put any unlawful demands.  

She is openly threatening us that she would file false cases against me and family members, for which we are not at all scared. The most she can do is file false cases, we are very confident that they won't stand.  She might trouble us for few days.  But, she is literally sealing her fate with us.  Isn't it.

My lawyer said he would talk to her lawyer and explain facts and ask her to convince her for MCD.  If she doesn't agree to it, will wait for 2 months and would file for Divorce.

How I should prepare myself and go ahead in such scenarios.  Lawyers' expert advice is recommended.

Men like us expect our wives to consider our parents like their own, but alas, that is just wishful thinking on our part.

Atleast, you lived with your parents. I did not live with my parents right from the beginning of our marriage. She stayed with me for 3 1/2 yrs.. Then suddenly one fine day vanished into thin air (literally locked the house and gone away with my 3 yr old kid) taking all her jewels (including mine) and certificates and passports (including mine) & important documents (including the house document which I had bought with my own money) along with her. Then they filed a false dowry harassment case 498a & 506 on me & my parents!! You know the funny thing is she used to call my parents as Mom & Dad!  Now she neither wants to come back & live with me nor wants to give divorce. In all this my kid is the real sufferer! But alas, she never realizes it. However, in the mediation she kept saying she wants to live with me - a funny cartoon she is!

The reason I'm saying all this is such women don't deserve any sympathy. There's a saying " You never really know your woman until you meet her in court"

You did a noble act by taking her back but she back-stabbed you! Once a cheater, always a cheater!

"She is openly threatening us that she would file false cases against me and family members, for which we are not at all scared. The most she can do is file false cases, we are very confident that they won't stand.  She might trouble us for few days.  But, she is literally sealing her fate with us.  Isn't it."

Don't think that these are mere threats. She'll end up doing exactly that. So better file a information petition in your nearest PS about these circumstances and how you fear false cases being filed on you. (but let them not take any action on it) Meanwhile start collecting all evidences you might have of having never harassed her but provided a good life. Also, don't think it will end in few days. Once she files these cases it will run for a good number of years. So better to convince her for a MCD (less time & less effort & less tension & less cost)

Thank you so much for your advice 'Deeply Hurt'.  Indeed, all those good days when woman used to be genuine, at least in her complaints. I will take all possible precautions.  My neighbors and my church people know everything about her and how she was and they won't hesitate to testify in my favor.  I will inform my lawyer about your suggestion to file a 'information petition' before filing the case.  Also, let me know what possible precautions i should take.

'Deeply Hurt', my sympathies are with you.  She need to understand that whatever she is doing there no possible outcome or solution, but it's only her pure sadism and frustration that is coming out. That is exactly what is happening in my case as well.  When two persons get married, they ask each person's approval to get married and only then marriage is solemnized.  In the same way, when two persons (wife and husband) cannot live together, their approval or request should be heard.  Because, sanctity of marriage has been already spoiled and vaporized with her acts.  Marriage is a social agreement between two persons.  If terms didn't work and when someone says, I cannot or no longer live with you, (mind you, because of genuine reasons) the other person should understand and separate and should get on with their life.

Since there is sufficient gap now since the time she has left you once again, there is little to worry about even if she goes for filing these cases. You can go for quash of these false cases by citing gap as below:

https://www.498a.org/contents/judgements/SC_498a_Quash_2009_773_2003.pdf

It is  a pity that most of the advocates  ask to  go for divorce. My personal opinion differs. It is the duty of the every advocates not to give advice for the divorce and save the marriage. 

In ur case there may be other side too. U are considering ur side. Be practical. She may have other view. U cannot create love and sympathy in anybody's mind. Where there is attachment, there is an adjustment. She may be ur wife but she may not be adjusting with ur mother. It is a hard fact to accept. People are adjusting with their lives. U may be adjusting in ur job even if u dont like ur boss or ur colleagues. Can u live ur job just because on certain issues u r not accepting ? Same is the case with ur wife. Now after giving Notice , u have challenged her and her ego is hurt and she may go to any extent . It will take years together to prove the same. U want to spoil ur life or adjust and go further and achieve positive ? 

Still the time is not gone. Ask common friend or relative who can still make patch up. It is painful to accept  but u will be happy that  at the end. She has shown willingness earlier to come together except ur mother. There is one more life who is suffering ..... ur child. Gulp ur ego for the sake ur child. My advice is purely on practical than on legal oriented. Accept it or ignore. Still if u find something in it u may contact if u wish so. I am practicing in Bombay High Court. Pl contact on Mob 99 67056980 if u wish so. Regards. Sorry for the straight forward advice. Regards. Adv. Sandeep Naik