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Suresh   04 January 2017

Seek advise

Hi Members,

I am Suresh staying in Bangalore. I got married in 2012, since the day we got married,  she was not interested and reluctant for having s*x. I tried several times but failed to have s*xual life during course of our stay. According to her all she wanted was a partner to lead a secure life without any expectation from her. I have to provide all facilities to her till she gets a job, she use to cook for herself she use to do her household work. I had to do take care of all my necessities and had to eat out. We were under one roof but as a different bodies. All this was taken into their parents notice on timely manner but every time her parents convinced me with different family members and her behavioral change. After several counsels with elders of our family members, things did not change. After 2 years of patience, I gave up and decided to move on but don't know how. So, We called all her family members to discuss the same in presence of our family members. I can't lead my life the way it was going and I wanted to end our relation. The day our meeting held, I was shocked and I think it was all pre planned drama. They reached to our home with a media person and mahila mandali people. Immediate after our meeting media person has come and in another 10 mins cops arrive at my door step and i was taken to police station, in next 15 mins mahila mandali president was sitting in police station. With high influence they could manage to threaten and pressurised me in all possible ways at police station for 15 days. They had come up with 2 option either i can settle amicably by paying 20 lacs or take her back and lead my life. I was not ready for both as i was very much frustrated by their act and opted for third option which was not in their list. I requested Asst. Commisioner to register FIR and i'll fight in court, as i cannot extend my leave more than 3 weeks or else my job was at stake. My denial to their demands, lead to an false alligation against me, my parents and siblings an FIR was registered under 498-A IPC and Sec 3 & 4 in 2014 and sent me to remand for 15days. Within a month i was changed with another notice for maintenance for 30k per month. To my luck within 6 months case was handed over to Lokadalat. Though she has done her engineering and was working as a lecturer in an engineering college and was only child. She can maintain herself, but seeing the fact that she was able to maintain herself but currently she was not working. Maintenance was settled for 6k per month by mutual conscent. I continued paying maintenance but never accepted their settlement plan gradually they have come down to 8 lacs, which is hefty amount for me. Now after an year when I did not accept for their demands of settlement. Me and my Mom got another Notice for Property. In this whole process I lost my dad with guilt who was not as tough as me and thinks he and my mom was responsible for spoiling my life as it was arranged marriage and they had not done proper background check. There were many incidents about their family which has come into lime light but it was too light and we were already became victims.

1. Best way to take this case forward with reasonable fees. (Can't afford hefty fees as my commitments are going over my income)

2. Can I apply for divorce case in bangalore? (We got married in Andhra Pradesh and we were living in bangalore. Now She is staying with her parents in AP and all cases registered in AP)

2. Will she have any share in my parents property?

3. Will she have share on 1BHK Flat which was purchased after my marriage with Bank loan(She was co-applicant, EMI paid 2 years and due for another 13 years.)

4. Can I sell property? (It is registered on my name)

*Note: I can't pay hefty amounts for settlement as all my savings was spent on my marriage and rest on my flat. Don't have any other source of income.

Thanks & Regards

Suresh Kumar



Learning

 3 Replies

whatnot   04 January 2017

 What is status on 498?

You can apply divorce under cruelty of fasle allegation and effect of bliss has evoprated in Marriage.  You can can all incidents that was narrated and seek it. Attach maintianance decree and say same thing will have to revisited and stop paying (but it has it's own disadvantages as well). Once money is stopped they will come back to you.

 

As your experience shows ignoring their activity will eventually make them feel frustrated and will come for mutual consent themsleves. Just hang in and wait for it.

 

Get the property document registered and taxes paid. If it is your father owned and passed on to your wife, they have no cliam. The notice is just a scare tactic. You can ignore or fight them off with right lawyer. Let your mother make a will , notorised and keep it in safe.

 

Your flat is mutual agreement. Put a notice to her to participate in selling same. Let them decide what they want. You don't pay the installement and see what happens. Sell it under stress and take money. There are enough real estate touts you will make take advantage of the situations.

 

Once you block money, they will crawl out and come sniffing . Then you can do what you want.

Remember you fought once in face of adversity and knowing nothing.

You can fight again knowing everything.

Time to return their favour in kind.

Learn nuasance of law.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Suresh

Hi Members,

I am Suresh staying in Bangalore. I got married in 2012, since the day we got married,  she was not interested and reluctant for having s*x. I tried several times but failed to have s*xual life during course of our stay. According to her all she wanted was a partner to lead a secure life without any expectation from her. I have to provide all facilities to her till she gets a job, she use to cook for herself she use to do her household work. I had to do take care of all my necessities and had to eat out. We were under one roof but as a different bodies. All this was taken into their parents notice

But have you mentioned all these in your notice to her or the divorce petition?  These are all duties of a wife, if she is not performing, she will be given chance to mend herself when court asks to do trial with her for some time.  If she has improved, then you can continue with marriage, if not you can ask court to grant divorce.

on timely manner but every time her parents convinced me with different family members and her behavioral change. After several counsels with elders of our family members, things did not change. After 2 years of patience, I gave up and decided to move on but don't know how. So, We called all her family members to discuss the same in presence of our family members. I can't lead my life the way it was going and I wanted to end our relation. The day our meeting held, I was shocked and I think it was all pre planned drama. They reached to our home with a media person and mahila mandali people. Immediate after our meeting media person has come and in another 10 mins cops arrive at my door step and i was taken to police station, They have managed everything and it appears that your inlaws are not standard people

in next 15 mins mahila mandali president was sitting in police station. With high influence they could manage to threaten and pressurised me in all possible ways at police station for 15 days. They had come up with 2 option either i can settle amicably by paying 20 lacs

How come they ask 20 lacs? did you take any dowry from them?  It appears that you took if not dowry, at least gift from them.

or take her back and lead my life. I was not ready for both as i was very much frustrated by their act and opted for third option which was not in their list. I requested Asst. Commisioner to register FIR and i'll fight in court, as i cannot extend my leave more than 3 weeks or else my job was at stake. My denial to their demands, lead to an false alligation against me, my parents and siblings an FIR was registered under 498-A IPC and Sec 3 & 4 in 2014 and sent me to remand for 15days. Within a month i was changed with another notice for maintenance for 30k per month. To my luck within 6 months case was handed over to Lokadalat. Though she has done her engineering and was working as a lecturer in an engineering college and was only child. She can maintain herself, but seeing the fact that she was able to maintain herself but currently she was not working. Maintenance was settled for 6k per month by mutual conscent. I continued paying maintenance but never accepted their settlement plan gradually they have come down to 8 lacs, Why 8 lacs? Why even single penny you should give?  If you have not taken a penny, why give money to get divorce?

 which is hefty amount for me. Now after an year when I did not accept for their demands of settlement. Me and my Mom got another Notice for Property. What  property notice you got?  Please explain.

 In this whole process I lost my dad with guilt who was not as tough as me and thinks he and my mom was responsible for spoiling my life as it was arranged marriage and they had not done proper background check. There were many incidents about their family which has come into lime light but it was too light and we were already became victims.

1. Best way to take this case forward with reasonable fees. (Can't afford hefty fees as my commitments are going over my income)
Marriage is costly affair.  Marriage in INDIA very very costly affair, from engagement to hunny moon to divorce, all full costly.  You should have done your math before tying the knot.


2. Can I apply for divorce case in bangalore? (We got married in Andhra Pradesh and we were living in bangalore. Now She is staying with her parents in AP and all cases registered in AP)
Yes, as it is last place of residence you can apply for divorce under 13 (1) (i) of HMA as you are hindus.  If you file divorce in bangalore, you need to give to and fro expenditure for her each time there is date or peshi.  So do you math, see which one works out fine for you, if you file it in Andhra, you will have to bear expenses for your to and fro expenses from Bangalore to Andhra.


2. Will she have any share in my parents property?
No share in property for her unless you stop paying alimony and it piles up and court seizes any property in your name, auctions it and gives such proceed to her on appropriate application by the petitioner or hand over such property which is in your name to her in lieu of alimony due from you to her.  But as she is well educated and can find her job, she get maintenance for max 1 year.


3. Will she have share on 1BHK Flat which was purchased after my marriage with Bank loan(She was co-applicant, EMI paid 2 years and due for another 13 years.)
She will have share in it as much share she put, + alimony overdue from your side to her.


4. Can I sell property? (It is registered on my name)
Yes, you can sell such property provided you also take her permission to sell.


*Note: I can't pay hefty amounts for settlement as all my savings was spent on my marriage and rest on my flat. Don't have any other source of income.
You should have done court marriage or register office marriage.  You could have saved a lot on expenses.


Thanks & Regards

Suresh Kumar

If you dont want to pay a penny, dont pay.

at the same time if you have taken dowry, give it back.

Court case like divorce will only make you spend more on litigation expenses.  IT will run like mega serial 6-7 years.  Your dowry case also will run longer than that.  Total it might take 10 good years of your life, if you are lucky. If otherwise you will be seen in court halls even after 2 decades.

OPTIONS:

1.  Only way easy out is, pay her money upfront, let her take back cases, take mutual divorce, raise a loan if you dont have money and give it to her take MCD.

2.  Bring her back, dance to her tunes, you wont have to pay any money to her.  Lead happy married life.  Adjust.  Dont complain.

 

Fighting matrimonial disputes is of no use.  Everybody knows in Hindus its common to do len den.  That they made punishable crime.  Fighting cases you only lose time.  Money 5-6 lacs u can earn again, in span of 1 year or 2 years depending upon your capacity.  Even that flat you can get disposed off.  You should have waited till you knew your wife, then invested in such things as property. These days marriage wont last 2 days as woman also got attitude equal to that of man, mainly because of earning capacity.  First of all girls due to love showed by their parents wont lisetn to them, and devolop same attitued when they get married also, they simply wont listen to anyone.  If they aer earning, they wont listen to anyone at all.  One might be forced to think doing background check etc would have done good.  all that is useless. Takdeer phuti ho toh khuda bhi kuch nahi karsakta.

So you do your math, see here no point in thinkin who is right or wrong.  You dont spoil your precoius youth in court or in some bus between bangalore and andhra.  Its like pulling hair of each other, by end of it what will be left in hand is hair.  Thats all.  Instead of seeing that day 10 years later, settle and part ways within 6 months.  Not all woman are like this.  You get better woman next time.  Dont worry.

Mukesh sharma (job )     05 January 2017

Hi suresh you file for divorce on curtely and false case ground and file case in banglore where all thing happen 

again one more if she was working somewhare than she could  not able to claim for  monthly maintaince from you  collect her monthly salary income document and and show in court file your case properly 

its good for you file divorce and talk with her if she agree with you than file for MCD its easy and time saving 

in last if she asking in share in your property so if property you buy and your name than she could able to claim on this if property in your father or mother name than she could not claim for property share 

here you mention you buy property is with common name than she  claim on this property 

thanks 


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