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YVerma2007 (Registered Patent Agent)     28 November 2011

Save marriage

What would you advise to woman who has lost all hope in saving her Marriage. Intially it was demands and  DV and later only violence. Both want to live together but the husband is violent not only towards the wife and kid but has hit his father and other relatives in the past. His highly educated family(PhD, software engineer, Goverment teacher) including his father suport him as they themslves beat their wifes. They call it khandani gussa and to cope with it. Intially she shocked  and retuned to parents home. they took her back after promise of not raising hand on her. but same happened. She had to leave again and was blamed of running to parents home every now and then. Two years back they again started living together after 2.5 years of separation when it was promised that the husband had changed a lot. But he staretd his same behavior  after two months. the husband was violent towards his own kid also. But this time she did not return home and accepted violence just to give a family to her kid. She stayed there and did everything to build a trust including leaving her job. The kid was also mentally tortured. after 1.5 years he made her join a job in another city and kept the kid with himself as he feared that if she had the kid also she might leave him again. She begged him and his family members to let the kid stay with her keeping in view his drinking habit and violent nature but no one heard. She decided to leave her job but was also not allowed.  After about 20 days she lost her patience and ran away with her kid  and now filed for MCD. After filing the MCD she again felt that she does not want a divorce. She thinks that marraige becomes blood relation once a child is born...and since no other relation can be broken marriage can also not be broken. Now she cannot live with him because of fear and does not want a divorce...is there any way he can be convinced not to be violent towards his wife and child and save the marriage



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 6 Replies

rajiv_lodha (zz)     28 November 2011

As Ur story goes, there is no point left giving him another chance, rather chances.

Call is hers only, but the hubby has repeatedly failed to maintain his promise, he is voilent to the kid too, WHAT RELATIONSHIP U ARE TALKING ABOUT??

IS IT RELATIONSHIP OF BEING BEATEN UP BY HUBBY EVERY NOW & THEN, SEEING UR LITTLE ONE BEING TORTURED BY HIM!?

Come on..............be bold & get MCD, save atleast ur kid's life!

SHAILENDRA SRIVASTAVA (MANAGING PARTNER)     28 November 2011

GO FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL TREATMENT WHICH IS THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE.

Addaiya Aejaz Ahmed (student)     28 November 2011

To be very honest such people never change its their basic psyche if any counselling could help give a try


(Guest)

YES, SUCH PEPOLE NEVER CHANGES..

AUTHOR, 

DON'T GIVE DIVORCE IF U WANT TO KEEP THIS RELATION...KEEP EVEIDENCE OF HIS CRUELTY ON YOU AND KIS..

IF UTMOST NECESSARY, FILE DV TO PROTECT YOUR RIGHT...


(Guest)

 

is there any way he can be convinced not to be violent towards his wife and child and save the marriage?

 highly educated family(PhD, software engineer, Goverment teacher)  still he behaves like violent ... khandani gussa 

 

Actually this type of people need psychologist but the husband dont want to go psychologist then the two option left ;either accept him  including his gussa violent (i dont prefer this option)

or file for divorc and 125 maintenance case for you and your daughter.

You said ,The kid was also mentally tortured.
I also saw one lady whoes husband fight with his wife ..most the time on sunday when he is free and he slap,stun her ,i am sad when i saw her hand as he stun her hand ,she becames totally nervous ,when his husband slap her her daughter request him "papa mat maro" etc..so whatever the situation you or many experience from the matrimonial life ,in this situation better walk off to his life ,just go to parent home and file maintenance case or find a job and file for divorce as sometimes the husband wants to kill his wife as your case look similar.
 
The best solution for you is to file for The Hindu Marriage Act , 1955 Section 10 Judicial separation on the ground of cruelty and also file for maintenance under section 24 or section 125 of crpc.
 
here is the section told;
The Hindu Marriage Act , 1955 - Section 10 Judicial separation.- (1)
Either party to a marriage, whether solemnized before or after the commencement
of this Act, may present a petition to the district court praying for a decree
for judicial separation on the ground that the other party-
 
b) has treated the petitioner with such cruelty as to cause a reasonable
apprehension in the mind of the petitioner that it will be harmful or injurious
for the petitioner to live with the other party; or
 
(2) Where a decree for judicial separation has been passed, it shall no longer
be obligatory for the petitioner to cohabit with the respondent, but the court
may, on the application by petition of either party and on being satisfied of
the truth of the statements made in such petition, rescind the decree if it
considers it just and reasonable to do so. 
 
Legal separation (sometimes “judicial separation”,
“separate maintenance”, “divorce a mensa et thoro”, or
“divorce from bed-and-board”) is a legal process by which a married
couple may formalize a de facto separation while remaining legally
married. A legal separation is granted in the form of a court order, which
can be in the form of a legally-binding consent decree. The most common
reason for filing with the courts for a legal separation is to make interim
financial arrangements for the two of them, such as deciding which one will pay
which bills, possess which property, and whether one of them shall pay the
other temporary financial support. These financial arrangements are actually
what the term “separate maintenance” refers to, and “separate
maintenance” is not a synonym for “legal separation”.
 
24. Maintenance Pendente lite and expenses proceedings. Where in any proceeding under this Act it appears to the court that either the wife or the husband, as the case may be, has no independentincome sufficient for her or his support and the necessary expenses of the proceeding, it may, on the application of the wife or the husband, order the respondent to pay to the petitioner the expenses of the proceeding, and monthly during the proceeding such sum as, having regard to the petitioner' s own income and the income of the respondent, it may seem to the court to be reasonable.

(Guest)

this is a direct ego issue... the man is well educated and hence cannot be violent without a reason... he could be a perfectionist and fastidious and hence will not tolerate any lenience... you have to be accommodative as a housewife and in marriage you need to give give give give give... do not ask for what i want... let him take... giving is a noble cause... dont serve the society, serve your own family... he might have taken several actions based upon your actions... you could be telling a short story but i understand this could be a very long detailed issue...

 

hence see and observe self... learn to calm yourself... your actions provoke his anger... sit down understand why he gets angry... if you do not understand let him explain... once a congenial established... you will see reason... many times physical actions is quick but the source is always the reason...

 

there is no point complaining if you want to stay in marriage... if you have already run away and filed for divorce... how can you manage to adjust with him... this is a direct ego issue... during divorce petition there are enough reasons to quote...

 

now why are you afraid to live alone as a divorcee? why backtrack... these are all stupid and immature steps you have taken...

 

be brave stand tall and straight away ask for his pardon and try to mend ways... because just one mistake is enough to destroy a family... you have already led to divorce petition...

bend a little... let him accommodate... be humble and love will glow...

by the way are you lazy to work? stay put... keep walking...


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